Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

As for me I don't see anything bad in that, it's a way to show honour and respect to him, it's just a visit not forever, he will soon go to his house.

NB If you truly want a happy home, don't seek advice on social media, those kids who can't maintain a week relationship will advise you astray. What works for A might not work for B.

Even with your modifications, it's the same thing!!! Is the man living forever in your house? Why come here to rant instead of telling your wife directly that she did something wrong?! You see why I always said good communication with intimacy are good in every home especially with this teens getting married everyday. I know he will still come back to ask if it's good for his wife to be greeting him every morning or late in the night orishirishi Dear Lord have mercy on us all

Have you asked her why she is doing that? Have you thought she's doing that because she thinks he should get some preferential treatment being a guest?

Ask her why and resolve it rather than reacting or bringing it online.

Lastly, I see no mountain in this mole hill you are presenting as a mountain.

Firstly, is this the second time?

ahmthankgod:
Firstly, is this the second time?

This is the umpteenth time! Since he arrived

She have been together with the brother long before she met you.

Why's everything becoming a problem to this new generation marriage


From the look of things, I don't think the next 5-10 generation can handle marriage


One day your wife go mess, you go say the mess smells so unfamiliar. That it is not from the kind of food you guys eat at home. Meaning, she's cheating

#spits

Courtesy demands she serve the guest first whether her brother or not.
Nobody is dragging head of the house with you

ignis:
She have been together with the brother long before she met you.

this your comment doesn't make sense..
She for marry the brother now..

Why can't she just set the table and everyone comes to eat at once?
Why make the husband inferior in his own house?

The way men pick on irrelevant things these days now amuse me.

About the part you said her bro was asleep and she woke him up to serve him, it smells a bag full of lies said to solidify your points.

SayAsSeen:


This is the umpteenth time! Since he arrived

Num 1: if she is 22 to 25 year old she is just making you jealous. If she' not, take a close eye on them especially her. But mostly your brother depending on his past age. On how he react when with a woman. I Haven't gotten married but its based on how the strategy worked.

Old family tradition...unknowingly,carried out in her marital home.

The kind of things, grownup babies will allow to become problems in their homes, given the soaring rates of divorces over trivial issues, I'm beginning to understand.
This na issue wey we dey drag as we small with my brothers dem. We don grow now we dey face serious issues.

If you still dealing with insecurity and trust issues, why get married ?!? Grow up abeg.
Don't bring silly tales to NL


Receive peace.

Na real wa, would you ask this question if it was your older brother she served first.

Possibly she's one of those who feel guests should be served first especially when they are older.

Everything is not supposed to be an issue abeg. I wonder how some women cope with some kind of men sha.

I don't think there is sense in this question at all. Is she cheating him or what? Because of serving of food? Maturity matters most in a marriage

What happened to going to the kitchen to get your own food?

SayAsSeen:


This is the umpteenth time! Since he arrived

If it matters that much to you, open up and tell your wife that she serves you first before her brother.
If it were a one time thing, it wouldn’t have mattered.
She should respect you in front of her brother because I doubt she’d like it if you constantly put your sister first before her.

Some feelings might seem irrational, but we can’t help but feel them.

How is that a problem?
Serving her brother before serving you doesn't change your position as the head in the home.
Wahala too much oh

chatinent:
The way men pick on irrelevant things these days now amuse me.

Like seriously, let him wait for the kids to advise him, he will be alright. All these people saying she is foolish for doing that are washing their wives panties and acting like slaves for their wives but they come online leading people astray

All of you can eat together at the same time and it won’t be an issue

chatinent:
The way men pick on irrelevant things these days now amuse me.

You’d understand how that feels when you get married.

bigjackass:
Courtesy demands she serve the guest first whether her brother or not.

Nobody is dragging head of the house with you

Hahaha it's the "nobody is dragging head of house with you" for me

Olunmercy56:
I don't think there is sense in this question at all. Is she cheating him or what? Because of serving of food? Maturity matters most in a marriage

E surprised me oooo, That man prayer point should be God give me divine wisdom, becus this he's questions no make sense at all.

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

Thanks

Don't you have older relatives to ask? Nairaland wrote the rules on marriage?

ogbenifamouz:



E surprised me oooo, That man prayer point should be God give me divine wisdom, becus this he's questions no make sense at all.

That is why I always pray for a man that is sensible as a husband, not the one that can't think on his own

Olunmercy56:


That is why I always pray for a man that is sensible as a husband, not the one that can't think on his own

You will get one, amen.

Mariangeles:


If it matters that much to you, open up and tell your wife that she serves you first before her brother.
If it were a one time thing, it wouldn’t have mattered.
She should respect you in front of her brother because I doubt she’d like it if you constantly put your sister first before her.

Some feelings might seem irrational, but we can’t help but feel them.

The most sensible comment I've seen so far...

Personally if it's just a one time thing, I won't be bothered buh it happening consistently is something that'll make me raise eyebrows...

OP talk to your wife and tell her exactly how this makes you feel...
She may be doing it without meaning to upset or disrespect you...

I know this may seem like something "not worth talking about", buh if it hurts you enough for you to open a thread on nairaland, then it's better you communicate with her rather than allow it grow into resentment...

And please leave all those folks up there insulting you for whatever reason, if you do your investigations they're probably not married and thus won't know *exactly* how it feels...

Good luck Chief...

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

Thanks

Op I’m highly disappointed at you!
Why should a matter as trivial as this get you all worked up? So what What even made you notice this to even find a fault? Like you strike me as someone who picks up a fight at every given chance.
Learn to overlook things and overlooking things is a common trait with men.

Calm down jor.

In my house,anytime my brother in law Comes into town,we serve him food like a king. In fact,I see him as my father in law.

And it does not remove anything from us...learn not to pokenose into everything.

He is just 5 years my senior yet,we cherished him as our senior.

Learn to behave brother...u too love food.

Favfables1:


The most sensible comment I've seen so far...

Personally if it's just a one time thing, I won't be bothered buh it happening consistently is something that'll make me raise eyebrows...

OP talk to your wife and tell her exactly how this makes you feel...
She may be doing it without meaning to upset or disrespect you...

I know this may seem like something "not worth talking about", buh if it hurts you enough for you to open a thread on nairaland, then it's better you communicate with her rather than allow it grow into resentment...

And please leave all those folks up there insulting you for whatever reason, if you do your investigations they're probably not married and thus won't know *exactly* how it feels...

Good luck Chief...

You are blessed my man!

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

Thanks

What's wrong abt that? Isn't he a visitor? Oh! I see....U are jealous! U feel she loves her brother more than u, lol.