I don't see any point in all your arguments. Your spouse parent sick and you expect her to go after the Christmas. Haabbaa! Put yourself in her mother's shoes now, if you sick and your children failed to visit you, how would you feel? Your wife did well as a good daughter. If she failed to visit her mother and the mother eventually give up the ghost, the consequences will forever be on her. Try to learn how to do some homework, it is not duty of women to do it alone. You said your wife doesn't add any value to you but you feel her absent when it comes to caring of house. Quantify that and come up with the value, you wouldn't able to do that.
Call your wife now and ask about her mum's condition because I know you are already forming a grudge against her. Ire ooo!!

Uyi168:
.
the wife told you this??

I just know.

BTW, why's it always the mans duty to slave it all to make the woman happy??

Well, that is because she sacrificed herself by leaving her father’s house to come live with you for probably the rest of her life, so you owe it to her to make sure she’s happy being with you. That is the least you could do.

akpunda86:

sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

@bolded, how una take get those children if you didn't gain sexually?

Oga, just calm down. Now you can feel a little of what she has been going through raising those kids, since you said she doesn't support financially kindly use all the money and solve all the problems in her absence and stop disturbing us.

You didn't even consider the emotional turmoil she has been passing through been very far from her sick mum and can't allow her a short time to go see her?

Use the data you are using to open thread on Nairaland to cast aspersions on that woman and watch videos on YouTube on how to cook different meals, this is what I do with my kids whenever their mum is not around, we cook the food together and no matter how bad it tastes it is always the best because everyone actively participated by putting salt, Maggi and the pain of onions in the eyes, unlike when mummy is cooking and no one comes close except on her instruction, I call her on speaker and they tell her how we now cook 'better' than her.

We go outside and play football, ride bicycle and run around, we come back and I call my wife and they tell her what they did and that even makes her uncomfortable as she starts feeling I am aggressively winning the children affection to the point of them not missing her absence so much and would want to return faster.

I buy things I know she will hardly spend her money that kids love such as quality ice cream, cookies and cupcakes etc
I recharge my decoder so that they can watch as much cartoons as they wish even when I know I am broke.

This is the opportunity you have to win the love and affection of your kids by bonding with them so that in future they will want you to be the one to come for 'Omugwo' instead of their mother when they start their own families.

I don't know how some men of this generation think, they don't seem to see opportunities when it presents itself, you can still have a wonderful Christmas without your wife around, be a real man guy, no dulling!

WhatCanIsay:


Let's be reasonable. You diagnosed the fact that he sounded like someone not always around. That means he is hustling for the betterment of the family as from his writeup he is the sole provider.

Any reasonable woman thinks first of her children, same with man. If a wife is reasonable and want to travel at any moment, the first thing to do is to plan and stock the fridge. For a man, he makes sure that the family is provided for.

Not everything is to be defended. There are things commonsense and love for the family should have easily dictated for married couples.

Does he hustle more than Tony Elumelu who has shared pictures of himself cooking for his family?
See Elumelu below peeling yam and making source for his kids

I would like to hear your wife's side of the story before I give my opinion

Mariangeles:
You’re not making your wife happy.

She’s simply not happy with you, so she used that as an excuse to take a break from you.

And the kids?

Go on family holiday at least once a year....everybody need to relax.....and you and your wife should also plan at least 4 dates in a year....you can invite your parents or her parents over they can look after the children to free you two for couples date.

I think you need to spice up your marriage....you seem to both be running a compulsory programme which is not sustainable as you mentioned.

Blaming a tribe or state for a choice you made all by yourself is concerning though. Your wife your choice your responsibility.

Merry Christmas

hahn:


And the kids?

What about the kids?
Is their father not there with them?

How sure are you that she didn't navigate somewhere before reaching her mum place ? Marrying from areas you mentioned, are the ladies or women there angels or married men from there are not experiencing worst things than yours ?

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

That your "helper " na girl?, If yes, na Calabar girl? Post her picture before I give you my loving advise!

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

I use God beg u marry another wife if u like yourself
Financial she's not there
Sex she's not there as u said
No reasonable woman will leave her kids without proper planning, it's just obvious she lacks home training, I'm sure she'll also be the type that doesn't take corrections
Forget story bc YOLO
Get another wife and if she's tired of seeing another woman she'll leave herself , what rubbish

Lights up my kpoli in peace

Mariangeles:


What about the kids?
Is their father not there with them?

You win

StylesX:
You make it seem like it's a taboo for men to cook, you married a wife not a cook, she shouldn't have a life just because she's married to you, instead of you to get closure and make her your friend you're talking about Enugu girls, maybe she feels the same way about you and can't wait to get away from you too, get your sh!t together and take care of your kids like a man instead of whining on NL like a lil b!tch.

You are wrong. He has every right to complain. Imagine a man travelling without making financial provision to run the house, I bet you won't tell the woman to shut up that she didn't marry atm.

Truth is, there are roles a man and a woman plays at home. A good wife would never leave without cooking and storing food for her husband and kids or being worried about what her family will eat. Don't make these silly excuses. She's irresponsible to have done that unless it's a case of emergency.

If I were in his shoes, I would rather talk to her and sort myself out...... If it happens again then she's calling for me to seek alternative means of feeling which I will stick to randomly even if she's around.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

she has gone to meet her man. She is not with her mother. Wake up and smell the stew.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

It's like that everywhere bro. That's what made me walk out of the cursed marriage.

Hmm just make sure your wife isn't fetish woman.
E get why

Aboks:
Sorry take heart

Marriage can become a curse and incredible torment.

Starseed:
My brother, I feel your pain. When you marry a bad wife, the devil will stop following you cos he has settled you for life.

Women can be very funny at times but you need God's wisdom to follow them. This part of your marriage challenge is part of the one you vowed for better and for worse. Just deal with it and endure it. It will pass.

Try and pray for grace to continue. Get closer to your wife. Show her more love and care. Buy her gifts, take her out. Ensure you rekindle the love you once had for her. Then watch and see the miracle of change in her life. Goodluck

So a woman visiting her sick mother to take care of her is an Evil woman?
Did you even ask the OP why he's not able to take care of his own kids without the mother being present? What if the woman's enemy was dead, is this how the kids will continue to cry and he won't be capable of taking care of them? The OP doesn't even sound like someone who is close to his children because how can a father not have the ability to pacify his own children?

You men will end up killing yourselves before your time

Typical woman...they always value the family they come from more than the one they are creating with their husbands till later in their lifetime. wHEN THEY GROW OLDER THATS WHEN THEY START TAKING THIS NEW FAMILY SERIOUS. Tell her to do something for you, she drags her feet, let her family member tell her to do something, she will move mountain to get it done.

She would've gone with the kids to see her sick mother.Is she the only daughter in her family come to think of it?Every responsible mother cares for her children no matter how tight the situation may be though her mother too is not out of this love equation but this is not the time to leave little children in the hands of their father alone.I advise you to keep your cool because I perceived there're other burning issues that led to this present issue which you've not discussed here.

fola044:
[b]How sure are you that she didn't navigate somewhere before reaching her mum place ? [/b]Marrying from areas you mentioned, are the ladies or women there angels or married men from there are not experiencing worst things than yours ?

I suspect that. The man no get idea. No one zooms away from their partner on festive period in a carefree manner. Matter dey ground for the house before now.

1x2x3:


You are wrong. He has every right to complain. Imagine a man travelling without making financial provision to run the house, I bet you won't tell the woman to shut up that she didn't marry atm.

Truth is, there are roles a man and a woman plays at home. A good wife would never leave without cooking and storing food for her husband and kids or being worried about what her family will eat. Don't make these silly excuses. She's irresponsible to have done that unless it's a case of emergency.

If I were in his shoes, I would rather talk to her and sort myself out...... If it happens again then she's calling for me to seek alternative means of feeling which I will stick to randomly even if she's around.

Talking to her about it is what I meant by closure, the deed has already been done, what good is his nairaland whining going to do? Since she's irresponsible he should be the responsible one and take care of his kids then, abi it's not a male thing, Nigerians and double standards.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

If you can't make ordinary salad or noodles then you should be ashamed of yourself

chii8:
Hmmmm....you just said she went to visit her sick mother?You said money is not the issue,then cook nah....You sound like a father who's not always around so you don't know much about taking care of the family.Is it your wife's fault that you can't pacify your own crying children nor cook for them?The in-law is sick and sickness doesn't give a pre information before it comes.

Oga,man up and take care of your children,biko!

Now because you can't cook and pacify your own crying children, you are thinking of divorce.Na waoooo, there's nothing Reverend no go see for pulpit

E think say e easy, make e run am naw. Later they’ll say housewives are lazy. Leave house for them and travel for just 1 day, you will come back to meet the home upside down.

What do you need to cook, let's give it you recipe.

Simran94:

So a woman visiting her sick mother to take care of her is an Evil woman?
Did you even ask the OP why he's not able to take care of his own kids without the mother being present? What if the woman's enemy was dead, is this how the kids will continue to cry and he won't be capable of taking care of them? The OP doesn't even sound like someone who is close to his children because how can a father not have the ability to pacify his own children?

You men will end up killing yourselves before your time

You are wrong. Going to see her sick mom isn't the problem, she didn't make provisions that will sustain the family while she's away. This is equivalent to a man travelling to see his sick mum without leaving a penny for his family to feed....... You would call him irresponsible. Life no hard, make provisions while you are away so your partner at home don't suffer.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

Firstly, you said her mother is sick and your wife is the only daughter she has, so you should know her brothers might not be chanced to visit her, so she would have to attend to her mother.

Secondly, you sound like a father who is not close to his children or someone who is not always around in the first place because I don't understand why you are finding it difficult to pacify your kids without your wife being present.

Some of you just want to follow the bandwagon of "Women are evil".

Oga, Divorce your wife and go and marry someone from Enugu, nobody will kill you.

chii8:
Hmmmm....you just said she went to visit her sick mother?You said money is not the issue,then cook nah....You sound like a father who's not always around so you don't know much about taking care of the family.Is it your wife's fault that you can't pacify your own crying children nor cook for them?The in-law is sick and sickness doesn't give a pre information before it comes.

Oga,man up and take care of your children,biko!

Now because you can't cook and pacify your own crying children, you are thinking of divorce.Na waoooo, there's nothing Reverend no go see for pulpit

Let's be reasonable. You diagnosed the fact that he sounded like someone not always around. That means he is hustling for the betterment of the family as from his writeup he is the sole provider.

Any reasonable woman thinks first of her children, same with man. If a wife is reasonable and want to travel at any moment, the first thing to do is to plan and stock the fridge. For a man, he makes sure that the family is provided for.

Not everything is to be defended. There are things commonsense and love for the family should have easily dictated for married couples.

Most of us women does not know the true meaning of marriage, most just want to get married because their friends are married.

From the moment a man pay your diary that man officially is your head, he now comes before your father, mother. Don't get me wrong you can still show your parents all the love you want but your husband and kids should be your priority.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

Since na sick mum make she go see am ,you said you have a helper you and the maid can help keep the family running except you don't know how to cook or do house chores , Mr man enter kitch cook better food you even have maid to help you make your family happy, had it been your wife mum is not sick I would have be against her , secondly I think she is wrong too she should have put her house in order before embarking on such journey

Order catering service na