Grandma will be happy to have her babies around guyman will have peace of mind. Just drop bar for Yuletide for grandma and leave the help to assist grandma too.

otokx:
Pack all the children inside a car, drop them at their grandma and come back to your house and rest.

1x2x3:



You are wrong. Going to see her sick mom isn't the problem, she didn't make provisions that will sustain the family while she's away. This is equivalent to a man travelling to see his sick mum without leaving a penny for his family to feed....... You would call him irresponsible. Life no hard, make provisions while you are away so your partner at home don't suffer.

I never called him irresponsible in the first place.
Did he call his wife to ask her why she never made provisions for the kids before she left? Do you even know if the OP put money down before embarking on whatever journey he embarked on because with the way he narrated his story, it doesn't sound like he was home for even a week.

One last thing, why is it IMPOSSIBLE for a father to take care of his own kids in the absence of his wife? This is just one side of the story and it's easier to judge since it's coming from a MAN.

Anything to call a WOMAN the devil

StylesX:
Talking to her about it is what I meant by closure, the deed has already been done, what good is his nairaland whining going to do? Since she's irresponsible he should be the responsible one and take care of his kids then, abi it's not a male thing, Nigerians and double standards.

You don't get it do you? The double standard here is that if a man leaves without leaving upkeep money he will be called irresponsible. Imagine you telling the woman to run the family na....a good wife will play her role perfectly and happily by making provisions most especially if you know your husband can't cook. There's no big deal here, she only didn't plan well.

blazetitov:


How is he a weakling? Does it not make sense for the wife to settle her home before embarking on her journey? Is her immediate family no longer her primary assignment? I guess you not even married.

Do you think the wife hasn't done the needful before leaving?

See guy it's when your wife ain't around you'll know that she takes so much. What if your kids tell you Daddy come and play with us. What do you do? How do you start.

They keep asking you questions, why because you're not always around. That guy needs to spend time with his kids.

Its his kids. The wife needs a break too. Let him go inside the kitchen and do the needful until the wife comes back.

Or send the children to granny.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

If you marry from Anambra or Enugu, that doesn't mean you won't still have it from them too.
Bro carry your money and but good food your you children no disturb yourslf cos of what your wife did.
Forgive her and move on.
Person wey do bad today fit do good tomorrow.
I beg no vex

You only told us the sweet side of yours... There is no smoke without fire.....but leaving the kids hungry was bad.... Call her in d mid night and try retrace where it all started and u guys can sort things out..... No man/woman is perfect we just dey manage ourselves.

Well, She need to go visit her mum because of her ailment. U need her to stay around this festive period and enjoy the season as a family

Both of you gave good reasons. The problem I see here is communication.

Mind you , every other families have their share of issues . It is not limited to your home alone. Your Marriage will not Fail in Jesus Name.

Mariangeles:
You’re not making your wife happy.

She’s simply not happy with you, so she used that as an excuse to take a break from you.

The wife told you this, Mariah?

That's almost the same thing my woman always do. After work she will pass to her mum shop and stay till 8-8:30pm. I will come back from work and start preparing food. If I talk she will say she the only female child.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.
are you going to leave with the kids for the 4 months
if not you aren't going nowhere

1x2x3:


You don't get it do you? The double standard here is that if a man leaves without leaving upkeep money he will be called irresponsible. Imagine you telling the woman to run the family na....a good wife will play her role perfectly and happily by making provisions most especially if you know your husband can't cook. There's no big deal here, she only didn't plan well.

Okay why are we having the back and forth? Since the wife didn't do it he should do it, abi there's a rule that says men can't do whatever she's supposed to do? Why can't he step up and be the responsible one?

Successmind:
You only told us the sweet side of yours... There is no smoke without fire.....but leaving the kids hungry was bad.... Call her in d mid night and try retrace where it all started and u guys can sort things out..... No man/woman is perfect we just dey manage ourselves.

Thank you ooo. Since it's a MAN narrating a story, everyone is already calling the woman EVIL without knowing her own side. It is impossible for a MOTHER to leave her kids hungry while taking care of her own mother who is sick. There's obviously something missing in the story

Really sorry bro for the discomfort.
A woman is designed by nature to take care of kids.
Man to take care of kids?
He go say,
"where I wan start from?"
Nai make me get two wives
No one dey do yanga for me.
Their competition for my attention make me dey enjoy marriage life.
Who no go nor know.

WhatCanIsay:


Let's be reasonable. You diagnosed the fact that he sounded like someone not always around. That means he is hustling for the betterment of the family as from his writeup he is the sole provider.

Any reasonable woman thinks first of her children, same with man. If a wife is reasonable and want to travel at any moment, the first thing to do is to plan and stock the fridge. For a man, he makes sure that the family is provided for.

Not everything is to be defended. There are things commonsense and love for the family should have easily dictated for married couples.

I'm not defending anything, isn't now a good time to make up for his absence in the lives of the children?You are also ignoring the fact that the woman's mother is sick!!!

StylesX:
Okay why are we having the back and forth? Since the wife didn't do it he should do it, abi there's a rule that says men can't do whatever she's supposed to do? Why can't he step up and be the responsible one?

He can't because he's obviously not close to his children in the first place, he's more like the "always not around kind of father"

Mood11:
Maybe she's equally tired (of you and the marriage) and needed to take some time off..
Does she know you are here on Nairaland opening a thread about her?

Man up and take care of your kids. Don't worry about a perfect salad whatever you are able to make serve it to them with love

BTW, when you knew that women from Enugu or Anambra make better wives and mothers why didn't you marry from there in the first place?

he said he regretted marrying from a state that's far and never implied that only Anambra and Enugu woman make good wives here. Control your intolerance and frustration.

Kriss216:

The wife told you this, Mariah?

Yes. I know her.

KiNg0G:

I don't need to get married to apply common sense to issue like this.


some of you men are weaklings ....I know what am saying.

I was once raised in a home, where if my mom is sick...or she's not around...house go just dey one kind. . throughout that period.

because everything was on her...apart from the money coming from dad.

it nor supposed to be so.
think like a man

Think like a woman with children. At no time should a woman make such travel without planning ahead to cook for the family. Family is a compromise, as the man said he is the sole provider, what's really hard in the woman doing her bit?

Let's be using commonsense and not be sounding unnecessarily politically correct. A man hustles and provides you open your yeye mouth to call him weakling. You prefer him to tie wrapper and be cooking for the family, to suit your image of what a man should be ba?

Manless men afraid of correcting women in order to sound liberal.

Simran94:


I never called him irresponsible in the first place.
Did he call his wife to ask her why she never made provisions for the kids before she left? Do you even know if the OP put money down before embarking on whatever journey he embarked on because with the way he narrated his story, it doesn't sound like he was home for even a week. This is just one side of the story and it's easier to judge since it's coming from a MAN.

Anything to call a WOMAN the devil

Yes, it's one side of the story. The woman isn't a devil in any way to me. If you read in-between the lines you will notice there's underlying issues in his home... Food alone can't make him fed up 200% . The guy way no too pure but then, as a woman, never make the mistake of travelling without cooking and storing (everything being equal).

Shebi Una dey see happily ever after?

You this guy wey won get married so, be warned, it will end in tears.

Oga O.P....u married a girl

Not a woman

Simran94:

He can't because he's obviously not close to his children in the first place, he's more like the "always not around kind of father"

And whose fault is that? Typical case of pot calling kettle black, they're both irresponsible and need to work on themselves.

Guyman02:

@bolded, how una take get those children if you didn't gain sexually?

Oga, just calm down. Now you can feel a little of what she has been going through raising those kids, now since you said she doesn't support financially kindly use the money and solve all the problem in her absence and stop disturbing us.

You didn't even consider the emotional turmoil she has been passing through been very far from her sick mum and can't allow her a short time to go see her?

Use the data you are using to open thread on Nairaland to cast aspersions on that woman and watch videos on YouTube on how to cook different meals, this is what I do with my kids whenever their mum is not around, we cook the food together and no matter how bad it tastes it is the best because everyone actively participated by putting salt, Maggi and the pain of onions in the eyes, we call mummy and tell her how we now cook better than her.

We go outside and play football, ride bicycle and run around, we come back and I call my wife and they tell her what they did and that even makes her uncomfortable as she starts feeling I am aggressively winning the children affection to the point of them not missing her absence so much and would want to return faster.

I buy things I know she will hardly spend her money that kids love such as quality ice cream and cupcakes etc
I recharge my decoder so that they can watch as much cartoons as they wish even when I know I am broke.

This is the opportunity you have to win the love and affection of your kids so that in future they will want you to come for 'Omugwo' instead of their mother when they start their own families.

I don't know how some men of this generation think, they don't seem to see opportunities when it presents itself, you can still have a wonderful Christmas without your wife around, be a real man guy, you dey dull Igbo men abeg.

Hahahaha exactly what I suspect, this guy cannot cook , infact he doesn't know anything concerning food preparation or even going to market but he said he has a helper in the House let them both do the cooking and house chores together

chii8:
Hmmmm....you just said she went to visit her sick mother?You said money is not the issue,then cook nah....You sound like a father who's not always around so you don't know much about taking care of the family.Is it your wife's fault that you can't pacify your own crying children nor cook for them?The in-law is sick and sickness doesn't give a pre information before it comes.

Oga,man up and take care of your children,biko!

Now because you can't cook and pacify your own crying children, you are thinking of divorce.Na waoooo, there's nothing Reverend no go see for pulpit

You're right. If the wife fall sick nko? He should just man up and take care of the kids

Jermat20:
That's almost the same thing my woman always do. After work she will pass to her mum shop and stay till 8-8:30pm. I will come back from work and start preparing food. If I talk she will say she the only female child.

Make her happy and she’ll be running home to you everyday.

When a woman is happy with her man, even God can hardly keep her away from him.

Young Man Point of Correction, You Don't have a Wife Yet, No Wife Does That.

StylesX:
Okay why are we having the back and forth? Since the wife didn't do it he should do it, abi there's a rule that says men can't do whatever she's supposed to do? Why can't he step up and be the responsible one?

Would you say this same thing exactly if the man leaves home on festive period without leaving a penny for his family to feed?

WhatCanIsay:


Think like a woman with children. At no time should a woman make such travel without planning ahead to cook for the family. Family is a compromise, as the man said he is the sole provider, what's really hard in the woman doing her bit?

Let's be using commonsense and not be sounding unnecessarily politically correct. A man hustles and provides you open your yeye mouth to call him weakling. You prefer him to tie wrapper and be cooking for the family, to suit your image of what a man should be ba?

Manless men afraid of correcting women in order to sound liberal.

you are a bufoon


my wife can't cook food for me and store in The freezer for days to eat while she travels.


I yearn for fresh foods.


so I make them myself



that's what been an alpha entails

be a self independent man.



not simpish like you dirty smelling men who can't afford to care for yourselfs but need your wife to be there doing everything for you at all Times.

including shaving your armpits.

cow!

AGurlnoname:


Maybe your home is not comfortable for her too. Who knows if she is the only taking care of the children, still prepare for work. Oga, stop waling here and take care of your kids. If truly you're always at home and have close bond with your children, none of the kids will ask for their mum.

Let the woman enjoy her break abeg.

People like you are examples of bad news in a family

1x2x3:


Would you say this same thing exactly if the man leaves home on festive period without leaving a penny for his family to feed?

Yes dude, I don't have double standards.

chii8:



I'm not defending anything, isn't now a good time to make up for his absence in the lives of the children?You are also ignoring the fact that the woman's mother is sick!!!

To make up for his absence doesn't involve the woman abdicating her duties. Any right thinking woman should make life easier for such husband that is barely home, especially those that it is so because they want to make their family comfortable. The man went to the extent of even providing for a househelp, and you are rightly saying he doesn't deserve basic relaxation when at his home?

The mother-in-law is sick, from the write-up, they have discussed it earlier, his problem wasn't the woman traveling, but her not doing the basics. The sickness didn't just happen, any human being that thinks right should have stocked the fridge before embarking on such travels.

Let's be bold to call wrong, wrong. Or if you are in such position, you will do the same? Really?

Mariangeles:


Yes. I know her.

Jisie ike.