1x2x3:
A hungry man is indeed an angry man. Oga smoke then go back inside to eat. There's no big deal as long as food reach everyone.

SayAsSeen:



Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?


I appreciate your comment sir!

Perfecttouch:
this your comment doesn't make sense..
She for marry the brother now..

Why can't she just set the table and everyone comes to eat at once?
Why make the husband inferior in his own house?

bigjackass:
Courtesy demands she serve the guest first whether her brother or not.

Nobody is dragging head of the house with you

Alabo7978:

Why are everybody not seeing any wrong in the woman's doing?

This woman was called by her husband, given money to make food because he returned hungry and tired.
She opted to serve her brother first BY WAKING HIM UP, before her own husband.
There is everything wrong with this abeg.
It shows the wife cares more about her sleeping brother than her hungry husband.
For Respect sake serve the man who provided the money for the food and was MORE IN NEED of the food than someone who didn't even know there was something cooking.
All these woke people these days sef.

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

SayAsSeen:



Sir, my vote of confidence was rightly placed and your last question proofs that.

He has been here since I returned from my trip, let's say 8 days now. The first couple of days serving him first was cool, courteous and polite.

Then it became rude, I mean this dude isn't a guest anymore even if he still was; serving him first always is very annoying or offensive or so I think sir!

I am thinking of telling her to stop serving my food for the duration of his stay. It is beginning to seem disrespectful.


About confronting her sir, in real life-lol, I am not a man of many words. Besides I won't like to be seen as petty or immature as some may say. That's why I didn't ask older friends, my elder brother or my folks.


God bless you and meet you at the point of your needs sir!

Mariangeles:


If it matters that much to you, open up and tell your wife that she serves you first before her brother.
If it were a one time thing, it wouldn’t have mattered.
She should respect you in front of her brother because I doubt she’d like it if you constantly put your sister first before her.

Some feelings might seem irrational, but we can’t help but feel them.

Richy4:
I was thinking that a proper host will make sure that their guests get served first?
Y are you playing a brother/ sister card man? This is just unnecessarily petty..

SayAsSeen:



Dear sir, seeing as you and the guy whose post you quoted are the ones who are genuinely concerned or can think rationally; permit me to tell you a bit more.

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it. What she did this morning was wrong, and to those that feel otherwise, when you experience that and marriage, let us know how you feel?


I appreciate your comment sir!

Reference:


The only two points of benefit (and I say this with serious doubt) I may give her is the culture of serving visitors first and possibly the fact that the fellow maybe older than you.
But in all common sense it appears she has not 'left father and mother' and is 'clinging' to you.
This is more likely the case and it is prevalent in most cases of this kind.
Once again in my experience it is an indication of inadequate or absent courtship where sensibilities are settled.

My advice is: mention it in passing and seek to correct that error of judgement kindly as there may be no malice intended. As a first time action assume it was done out of ignorance. I fully understand your feelings.

mardis:
Op, forget all those saying, there is nothing wrong in it. Infact everything is wrong with it. I am very sure majority of them aren't married so they don't see it they way you are seeing it. If it was her parents i would understand. Her brother stay your house shouldn't exeed 3days, he should go stay in a hotel. Culture and tradition permit a wife to serve her husband first before others. It is respect. The brother should even be the one to correct that.
Please talk to her, just do it in a calm way, so she can understand and correct herself.

SayAsSeen:
Hello friends, I'd like to ask intelligent and older minds for advise about an issue before I react.

My wife's elder brother is visiting my house and my wife has been serving his food first before serving and bringing my good, in my own house.


Please I just want to ask if this is wrong or right or even just normal?

I worked all through the night and was famished by the time the day broke this morning. I gave her some dough and told her to prepare me noodles and sardine, emphasizing on the fact that I was very hungry.

NOTE: Her Brother was still asleep at this time.

She prepared the meal, split it into two. Woke up and served her brother first in my guest room before coming to my room to give her hungry husband his food.

I was so mad, I ignored the food, went out to smoke a cigarette. While I was doing that it occured to me ask for advice here, because I didn't want to ask anybody I knew personally.

I still don't know whether to be mad, or to just ignore it.

I am a strong believer of common sense and respect and her actions this morning lack both! It would have take her less than 30 seconds to give me my food then go wake and serve her brother!

Is she told me she needed money for something and I put my younger sister's need over her's-no matter how tribal her's might be-i know how she'd react and the amount of making up I'd have to do.

I am trying to be very mature about this, that's why I keeping things anonymous?

Besides I'd like to know, I possibly can't be the only person who has experienced this sort of situation because they say there's nothing new under the sun. Please who has ever felt this way, I am very understanding and if something irks me, it would irk every body else too.


Wish I could explain better

SayAsSeen:



Shut up please. Incoherent fool!

BullyBullies:
OP disregard all the mumu response you've been receiving from some of these folks up there. Only a few have made sense so far. What your wife did by serving her bro food before you is very wrong, culturally and religiously. She MUST respect you (hope you respect her too), whether it's her father or her brother. You are her husband, she must serve you first before her brother. It's even stupid if her considering the fact that you worked through the night and gave her money to make noodles for you coz you were very hungry whilst her bro was still sleeping, and she had to go wake him up first to serve him food before serving her husband who asked her to make the food in the first place coz he was hungry. Tell her straight to never do that again. It is very wrong, forget what these clowns are saying up there.

ignis:
She have been together with the brother long before she met you.

Pataricatering:
You don't know whether you are angry or.not ?. You had to rush here to.let.your fellow men determine whether you should be angry or not ? Lol
Her older brother is a guest and guests should be served first as a courtesy.
P.S - you are not.a king just a husband- if.you were.so hungry you could have gone into the kitchen to dish food for yourself .

Bola146:
As for me I don't see anything bad in that, it's a way to show honour and respect to him, it's just a visit not forever, he will soon go to his house.

NB If you truly want a happy home, don't seek advice on social media, those kids who can't maintain a week relationship will advise you astray. What works for A might not work for B.

Even with your modifications, it's the same thing!!! Is the man living forever in your house? Why come here to rant instead of telling your wife directly that she did something wrong?! You see why I always said good communication with intimacy are good in every home especially with this teens getting married everyday. I know he will still come back to ask if it's good for his wife to be greeting him every morning or late in the night orishirishi Dear Lord have mercy on us all

SayAsSeen:



Sir, my vote of confidence was rightly placed and your last question proofs that.

He has been here since I returned from my trip, let's say 8 days now. The first couple of days serving him first was cool, courteous and polite.

Then it became rude, I mean this dude isn't a guest anymore even if he still was; serving him first always is very annoying or offensive or so I think sir!

I am thinking of telling her to stop serving my food for the duration of his stay. It is beginning to seem disrespectful.


About confronting her sir, in real life-lol, I am not a man of many words. Besides I won't like to be seen as petty or immature as some may say. That's why I didn't ask older friends, my elder brother or my folks.


God bless you and meet you at the point of your needs sir!