It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Omoh, can you just summarize


Thanks.

Thank God you aren't a girl. This is how some girls develop feminism or stray into the hands of a deceptive lover outside home and I don't blame them. Theyre naturally unable to endure hardship for long. Yet some still won't respect those who can cus he's not looking rich. Myopic gender!

Firstly I salute your perseverance to still keep your sanity at this stage of the ordeal. It's clear you're going through psycho-emotional trauma. I understand the trauma really well cus I went through it too. I had to spend the day out and come back at dead night for a couple of days

Do you work? Perhaps you could get a roommate and share the rent even if it's a face-to-face apartment, it's not about big boy now, it's about not losing your mind and focus. That's your best option. On a second thought, if you have a relative or friend where you can lay your head at nights, reach out to them. If you're in school, stay put in the hostel and come home only when necessary.

But truth be told, you really need a job if you're not in school. God help you bro!

Eiya sorry about this, if you can go far away from them for your own sanity it'll be good.

If you got the means, leave the house

Iyaebe:
Eiya sorry about this, if you can go far away from them for your own sanity it'll be good.

I'm only waiting around to be mobilized for service. So I still have about 3 months at least with them.

Phillipsburg:


I'm only waiting around to be mobilized for service. So I still have about 3 months at least with them.

OK,just endure till that time,but make sure you spend most of your times outside and stop letting their behaviour get to you.

dnt even knw wat to say bro..it is well

Phillipsburg:
I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

First thing first, the only power curses, even those from parents, have over you is the power you give them to work over you. Your father's curses mean nothing unless you want them to. I say this so you stop torturing yourself thinking the venom he spews as a toxic father will amount to ruining you - it won't.

Sad that you have such a toxic person as a parent, and even sadder that your mom refuses to free herself from the abuse for your sake. What can I say? We can't choose our parents but what we can do is learn from their mistakes so we don't see a repeat of them in us, even though we share DNA.

You didn't mention how old you are. Assuming you are an adult, and able to, go find yourself work and start seriously planning your future away from your parents and all that toxicity. I no talk say make you go marry or move in with your gal friend - none of that. What you instead need is time away from your parents to allow you and your mind heal before you decide to make any other major decisions. Make and focus on a plan to get you out, and maybe get your siblings too out of that toxic stew that is your home so your dad and mom can have a field day on their own while you lot recover and then move forward into the person's you were meant to become.

y

get yourself a place of your own.

as for your father, his behavior is the effect of alcohol abuse

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

I've read your post twice trying to Understand what your mom did to you to deserve the hate too but all I could see is; ”My dad did this, did that! Told outsiders this, embarrassed us at” From your post, I can conclude that your Dad is the reason why your family is Upside down, don't extend the hate you have for him to your Beloved Mom and Siblings. Sadly, Your Dad is an effect of Alcoholic Abuse like someone said up there. But with time, all these will fade away, old age will surely Humble him!

For your Sanity Sake, Leave the house and go rent somewhere far away from them so atleast you'd be free from his troubles!

Please be wary of your mom before your dad does something dangerous to her some day! People who abuse Drugs or Alcohol and act under the influence of it can do anything dangerous at any given moment.

May God see your family through. Shalom!

This kind story they always make me they give thanks to God, Man up and move out even if to stay with a friend respect will come in then.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Can you chat me up on 08089456258
Would love to have some man to man conversation with you about these issues

EmzyT:
I've read your post twice trying to Understand what your mom did to you to deserve the hate too but all I could see is; ”My dad did this, did that! Told outsiders this, embarrassed us at” From your post, I can conclude that your Dad is the reason why your family is Upside down, don't extend the hate you have for him to your Beloved Mom and Siblings. Sadly, Your Dad is an effect of Alcoholic Abuse like someone said up there. But with time, all these will fade away, old age will surely Humble him!

For your Sanity Sake, Leave the house and go rent somewhere far away from them so atleast you'd be free from his troubles!

Please be wary of your mom before your dad does something dangerous to her some day! People who abuse Drugs or Alcohol and act under the influence of it can do anything dangerous at any given moment.

May God see your family through. Shalom!

1. Why is his mom to be held responsible for her part in the problem?

2. Why should he be wary of his mom when she doesn't seem to care much for her own self, let alone her own kids?

1. That man is not your father



2. You will end up like/ worst than him




Thank you

Please move out from that house. If you have money, rent a small space and furnish it small small later.

Most fathers are toxic and irresponsible but it shouldn't change the good in you because it wouldn't be a port for selling blames.

everythinggirly:
Please move out from that house. If you have money, rent a small space and furnish it small small later.

Most fathers are toxic and irresponsible but it shouldn't change the good in you because it wouldn't be a port for selling blames.

The bolded is really quite unfortunate from you. How people generalize based on their individual 'unfortunateness' is still a mystery to me.

For the records! Most fathers are not toxic and irresponsible. Mine certainly isn't. If yours is, my prayers are with you

You they chase love but you don't have your own apartment even if it is one room with your own peace of mind .guy you dont need love right now you still they your parent house go and look for money and be a man .if you complaining na nonsense go get a place to stay of your own before loving

Ogbeni, please try and be calming now. Yes, I know it's a very insensitive thing to say but wait first.

Na classic dysfunctional family system you just summarize there. I no even read pass the fourth line but na wetin the gods say e be.

Take a look at this and analyze your family dynamic. Then liberate yourself through education.

Free therapy for beginners.

Get out of that house and get a job...if you have a skill good for you then get a job that's gonna fend for yourself..
Don't get yourself into depression aiit..

everythinggirly:
Please move out from that house. If you have money, rent a small space and furnish it small small later.

Most fathers are toxic and irresponsible but it shouldn't change the good in you because it wouldn't be a port for selling blames.

Thank you. Will do that soon

BlackfireX:
1. That man is not your father



2. You will end up like/ worst than him




Thank you

I hope not

EmzyT:



I've read your post twice trying to Understand what your mom did to you to deserve the hate too but all I could see is; ”My dad did this, did that! Told outsiders this, embarrassed us at” From your post, I can conclude that your Dad is the reason why your family is Upside down, don't extend the hate you have for him to your Beloved Mom and Siblings. Sadly, Your Dad is an effect of Alcoholic Abuse like someone said up there. But with time, all these will fade away, old age will surely Humble him!

For your Sanity Sake, Leave the house and go rent somewhere far away from them so atleast you'd be free from his troubles!

Please be wary of your mom before your dad does something dangerous to her some day! People who abuse Drugs or Alcohol and act under the influence of it can do anything dangerous at any given moment.

May God see your family through. Shalom!

Amen and thank you too

Your parents are probably poor and you their child is also poor but want to add the burden of wife to yourself.

Your parents are fighting tooth and nail to ensure you don't tow same line with them knowing how it will make you continue their violent marriage route but all you could make out from it is they're frustrating you.

First thing you need to do is to work hard and ensure that you're not poor. Own your own place and then we can advise you

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

You sound very young

InternetAgbero:
Ogbeni, please try and be calming now. Yes, I know it's a very insensitive thing to say but wait first.

Na classic dysfunctional family system you just summarize there. I no even read pass the fourth line but na wetin the gods say e be.

Take a look at this and analyze your family dynamic. Then liberate yourself through education.

Free therapy for beginners.

Sadly I'm the one that has read so much books in correcting so many things in my life like I'm the most problematic person in the world. It's like I'm not born with everything other people were born with. I'm the one without self confidence, with low self-esteem, i find myself seeking validation and acceptance from people everywhere I go. I'm still the one who usually turn the black sheep in many situations I find myself. I don't have friends and I only manage to keep tab of some people online. I spend a lot of time online just trying to avoid all these situations.

To be sincere, I'm fed up. I feel really unlucky especially when it looks like things everyone seems to be born with, i always have to strive hard to achieve them.

michlins:
Your parents are probably poor and you their child is also poor but want to add the burden of wife to yourself.

Your parents are fighting tooth and nail to ensure you don't tow same line with them knowing how it will make you continue their violent marriage route but all you could make out from it is they're frustrating you.

First thing you need to do is to work hard and ensure that you're not poor. Own your own place and then we can advise you

Ok.

Lalasticlala

Take heart and try develop yourself personally.
Your parents won't change, be the change you want.


Try relocate,

Issokay!!

All mallam with em kettle my brother!!!