Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Midas01:
Oh, so generalisations are bad when it's not against women? I see

everythinggirly:
Please move out from that house. If you have money, rent a small space and furnish it small small later.

Most fathers are toxic and irresponsible but it shouldn't change the good in you because it wouldn't be a port for selling blames.

chris4gold:
You will never appreciate what you have until you lose it. You hate your parents because they oppose the girl you are in love with.

My advice: be the source of change for your family.

because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down.

EmzyT:



I've read your post twice trying to Understand what your mom did to you to deserve the hate too but all I could see is; ”My dad did this, did that! Told outsiders this, embarrassed us at” From your post, I can conclude that your Dad is the reason why your family is Upside down, don't extend the hate you have for him to your Beloved Mom and Siblings. Sadly, Your Dad is an effect of Alcoholic Abuse like someone said up there. But with time, all these will fade away, old age will surely Humble him!

For your Sanity Sake, Leave the house and go rent somewhere far away from them so atleast you'd be free from his troubles!

Please be wary of your mom before your dad does something dangerous to her some day! People who abuse Drugs or Alcohol and act under the influence of it can do anything dangerous at any given moment.

May God see your family through. Shalom!

OMEGA009:
Young Man, if you’re old enough to pursue woman, you should be old enough to get your own place. Until you get mobilized for NYSC, I suggest you put everything on hold and endure your family palava. Your father won’t change anytime soon and your mother will continue to take sides with her husband. Just pipe low with the girl and your hormones until you can leave the house and then, you can start building a life outside the toxic environment.

tricksters:
When the time is right no one will tell before you leave your father's house. I left mine a year into university and we only got to see at my wedding n that was after several persuasion that I shouldn't hold the wedding without inviting n my dad isn't even 1/10th dramatic as you explained yours.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

idiagbo86:
Broh, pls I will advise u to try make money first and get ur own apartment before talking about marriage. From the look of things u are still living under ur parents roof. Wen u are strong enough financially, u will be able to control some stuffs. Pls don't think or talk about getting a girl u will marry wen u are still living with ur parents . Could just be that ur parents are reprimanding u for choosing a wrong priority and u are here complaining . Have a great yuletide my brother !

Phillipsburg:


I'm only waiting around to be mobilized for service. So I still have about 3 months at least with them.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Natureangel:
I feel your pain but please don't let the hate you have for your parents overwhelm you, remember we become what we hate the most.

If you are capable enough to, please leave that house and focus on what makes you happy be it your girlfriend or productive hobbies you may have and gradually you'll see that you'll be more in the position of forgiving and making a change than you are now.

Most importantly take it to God in prayer, pray, pray, pray I can't emphasize on this enough. Righteousness2 is right, God can mend broken homes and I say that because I've been there, mine might have not been the same as yours but I'll say a bit here for learning purposes. When I and my siblings were kids the situation in our household wasn't ideal, to be honest it was terrible as my dad used to hit my mom and beat us up unnecessarily with no other reason than that he was provoked. He'd insult us, call us names and threaten to kill us sometimes, I'm tearing up writing this because no child deserves to go through this and it still hurts a bit to remember it. As the eldest I took most of the beating for my younger ones and sometimes I'd go to school with heavy scars always telling the teachers and my fellow classmates that I did something bad and was corrected with a smile. My mom always taught us that if we didn't like anything we should take it to God, she never talked about my dad and whenever my dad hit her in front of us after he had left she'd tell us through teary eyes and a smile that she did something bad and got corrected for it. We didn't argue but to be honest it hurt us and we cry about it both in her presence and when she wasn't there. We prayed and prayed every time with tears in our eyes for God to change him because we knew what he was doing wasn't right and my mom said only God could change him. I remember one day telling him after he had beaten me to stupor that I loved him and God will make him happy so he wouldn't beat us again and that was the first time I saw my dad break down in tears. He still continued with the abuse but towards my teenage years he changed and I mean completely he became calm, good natured and I can honestly say he has been one of the best dads in the world so far in my eyes. My mom and dad now live together happily and all through my teenage years I have never seen my dad hit my mom.

So God does answer prayers and to parents and singles alike on this platform set a good example for all children. All this "female are useless, men are scum, Nigeria is worthless" and so on should stop. If instead of saying these toxic things we try to be more empathetic and careful with the words we say in front of children and when we are alone not only will our children grow up with a positive mentality and not criminal mindsets but also we as adults will become better human beings for thinking better, corruption will reduce, crime will reduce, productivity will increase, Jobs will be plentiful and Visas easily accessible (although most of us won't need it if Nigeria becomes better). Most importantly Nigeria will be able to progress and reclaim her position as the giant of Africa bringing pride to us all.

GorillaApp:

My beloved brother. God bless you. Keep up the good work, never slumber. Quote me if you see this message

peedeeasobie:





Why are you living with your parents and you are talking about getting married?

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Karleb:


E be like say this one no Sabi read! Chai! You need to have his kind of parents for a week to know what he's going through.

It's like some of you just repeat the "you will never appreciate what you have until you lose it" mantra whenever parents are involved.

Phillipsburg:


Thank you so much. My mom prays. She prays so much too but whenever HE changes, he'd still revert back to his old ways. I've done a lot of talking to him, invited many elders too. But he'd always still do the same. And the worst is him making example of how his own father is a no-nonsense man.

Phillipsburg:


I'm only waiting around to be mobilized for service. So I still have about 3 months at least with them.

Kobojunkie:
1. Why is his mom to be held responsible for her part in the problem?

2. Why should he be wary of his mom when she doesn't seem to care much for her own self, let alone her own kids?

Oluromantic:
Thank God you aren't a girl. This is how some girls develop feminism or stray into the hands of a deceptive lover outside home and I don't blame them. Theyre naturally unable to endure hardship for long. Yet some still won't respect those who can cus he's not looking rich. Myopic gender!

Firstly I salute your perseverance to still keep your sanity at this stage of the ordeal. It's clear you're going through psycho-emotional trauma. I understand the trauma really well cus I went through it too. I had to spend the day out and come back at dead night for a couple of days

Do you work? Perhaps you could get a roommate and share the rent even if it's a face-to-face apartment, it's not about big boy now, it's about not losing your mind and focus. That's your best option. On a second thought, if you have a relative or friend where you can lay your head at nights, reach out to them. If you're in school, stay put in the hostel and come home only when necessary.

But truth be told, you really need a job of you're not in school. God help you bro!

Kutunban:
It's sad that you found your self in such situation.

Does your mum like the aforementioned girl you are dating?

Does the girl love you too? If yes, you can talk to some of your uncles regarding your intentions to marry her.

Furthermore, are you angry that your parents haven't been showing you parental love or because your dad doesn't like the girl because of her family?

Righteousness2:
When I see or hear things as these, I see more reasons to appreciate GOD for the Privilege HE gave to I and my siblings to Have Parents who didn't put us through things as these.

Young man! I Have seen reckless Homes mend together again.
I Have seen almost radical homes come together again in Love.
The Rallying point of these Homes was JESUS Christ.

The Missing link in your Home is JESUS Christ. I can tell you that for Free.
If you can embrace JESUS Christ and Stand in the Gap in Prayer for your Home, you will be Suprised how GOD will mend every Broken walls and restore Love and Unity in the Home.

I Have seen it Happen and I Believe Same will Happen in your Father's house. But Somebody needs to stand in the Gap.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.