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My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Nobody: 1:30am On Jan 13, 2022
acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant.

All her qualities you highlighted are good but not enough. A woman must be homely and a good home maker and cooking, doing dishes and house chores isn't left out. Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

If you feel you can shoulder the responsibility of cooking and doing chores (which shouldn't be your primary duty) even in marriage, good for you, but know it's an abberation!

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

OP pay attention to this...
It will help you...

5 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by michlins(m): 5:03am On Jan 13, 2022
Children full here oh. So your fiancee leaves the house before 7am, comes back around 6pm and says she's tired but to you,na red flag.

All these people going into marriage with ancestors mindset where the man hustles and the woman stays home to take care of the kids and house.

You enumerated her qualities but want to enslave her to prove she's homely right?

Biko, go get a maid and share her salary with your fiancee. That's how marriage and relationship is supposed to work in 21st century

14 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by MPESA(m): 6:42am On Jan 13, 2022
dan9ice:
Op you go like fresh fresh food oo.,.
Since she's working, why not tell her to cook varieties of food on weekend then store it inside the fridge(portion them)?


I bet you, 80 percent of nigerians doesn't take breakfast... You can take brunch

Breakfast is good though..
Op wake up on time and make breakfast yourself
Abi na eba you they like for morning?
Most breakfast na bread and tea na
If she sees you doing it often, I swear she'll join, and from there she can adapt..
No let because of breakfast you pursue better person...
Man can not live by bread alone cool but by every bread and beans grin



80% of Nigerians don't eat breakfast....dan9ice 2022..

This is absolutely Nonsense cheesy
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by MPESA(m): 6:45am On Jan 13, 2022
Candidlady:
She told you to hire house help.... Your fiancee not yet a wife ooo ...


And am here thinking am lazy... Toh!!!


Op abeg correct this your topic... It is confusing me

Asin eeh fiancee not wife self.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Clinghton: 6:54am On Jan 13, 2022
Better wife material wey get small coma try talk to her and continue your romantic way.

2 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by JOACHINpedro: 7:27am On Jan 13, 2022
dan9ice:
Op you go like fresh fresh food oo.,.
Since she's working, why not tell her to cook varieties of food on weekend then store it inside the fridge(portion them)?


I bet you, 80 percent of nigerians doesn't take breakfast... You can take brunch

Breakfast is good though..
Op wake up on time and make breakfast yourself
Abi na eba you they like for morning?
Most breakfast na bread and tea na
If she sees you doing it often, I swear she'll join, and from there she can adapt..
No let because of breakfast you pursue better person...
Man can not live by bread alone cool but by every bread and beans grin

Stat from pit of hell



Op i can't comment on this issue cuz I'm not thinking about how to think about marriage anytime soon. But as a Biochemist, i would advise you to eat breakfast cus it's very essential. Pay no attention to the aforementioned end time stat

3 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by QuizPay: 7:58am On Jan 13, 2022
acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant.

All her qualities you highlighted are good but not enough. A woman must be homely and a good home maker and cooking, doing dishes and house chores isn't left out. Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

If you feel you can shoulder the responsibility of cooking and doing chores (which shouldn't be your primary duty) even in marriage, good for you, but know it's an abberation!

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

Thanks for this....
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by QuizPay: 8:20am On Jan 13, 2022
michlins:
Children full here oh. So your fiancee leaves the house before 7am, comes back around 6pm and says she's tired but to you,na red flag.

All these people going into marriage with ancestors mindset where the man hustles and the woman stays home to take care of the kids and house.

You enumerated her qualities but want to enslave her to prove she's homely right?

Biko, go get a maid and share her salary with your fiancee. That's how marriage and relationship is supposed to work in 21st century

Thanks for this..... She is not staying home she's working even if she stop her formal job she will still be working, (it's a must do) ... About enslaving it's out of the picture, though housemaid/help stuff is not a bad idea but I don't want to start with that now, may be later... But how long will house help be in the picture, if housemaid fall sick who go shoulder that responsibility of doing house chores, among other factors surrounding getting a good house maid ecsetera

2 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by michlins(m): 8:52am On Jan 13, 2022
QuizPay:


Thanks for this..... She is not staying home she's working even if she stop her formal job she will still be working, (it's a must do) ... About enslaving it's out of the picture, though housemaid/help stuff is not a bad idea but I don't want to start with that now, may be later... But how long will house help be in the picture, if housemaid fall sick who go shoulder that responsibility of doing house chores, among other factors surrounding getting a good house maid ecsetera
you know there's nothing stopping you from taking over the chores yourself. You're partners in the relationship and as such should share the responsibilities of the house.


None of us are perfect. I'm lazy when it comes to house chores and I know there are many people like me. Our prayers should be to afford what makes life easier. Get one housekeeper for now if you can afford it. Let the person come two or three times in a week to deep clean and cook. You guys can do the normal sweeping and microwave your food from the freezer.

You sound like someone with a good income. Let it work for you

6 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by QuizPay: 9:01am On Jan 13, 2022
acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant.

All her qualities you highlighted are good but not enough. A woman must be homely and a good home maker and cooking, doing dishes and house chores isn't left out. Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

If you feel you can shoulder the responsibility of cooking and doing chores (which shouldn't be your primary duty) even in marriage, good for you, but know it's an abberation!

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

Thanks for this....

acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant. !


grin that's my thought too, I can still cope now because it's just the two of us, if children coming in is what I can't say, may be she will adjust positively or negatively.

acetylcholine:

Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

She feels I can do those small dishes myself, especially bread and tea etc, about the dishes she's trying, it's just two to three plates to wash undecided she do them before going to work mostly.. The other house chores is Hmmm except I talk...


acetylcholine:

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

About mama train me to do house chores, just trying to say I can be of help because I find it easy in doing those stuff....

I don't think i embrace those nonsense, because I always point this out to her politely, which she has been plain/open to me but I still don't go for that because I always made myself clear, though she has been trying just want her to be better than this without me talking or reminding her or waking her up to do it, she's more of my Job this, my job that, I don't want to be late ecsetera,

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by nakotee: 5:35pm On Jan 13, 2022
QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...



undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My financee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), am not a type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cook sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla, she only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returned to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodge cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home. Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well undecided. Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...





The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley



About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well grin you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.



To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg)

she is a wife material not a must she must cook,you can get a perfect woman

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by mediainc: 7:53pm On Jan 13, 2022
Submissive without cooking and washing undecided

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Candidlady: 8:10pm On Jan 13, 2022
JOACHINpedro:

Stat from pit of hell



Op i can't comment on this issue cuz I'm not thinking about how to think about marriage anytime soon. But as a Biochemist, i would advise you to eat breakfast cus it's very essential. Pay no attention to the aforementioned end time stat


About taking breakfast been/being essential... Irarely have breakfast not cuz it ain't readily available


Idont always have appetite in the morning...

Any repercussions?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by JOACHINpedro: 3:40pm On Jan 14, 2022
Candidlady:



About taking breakfast been/being essential... Irarely have breakfast not cuz it ain't readily available


Idont always have appetite in the morning...

Any repercussions?

The brain needs enough glucose before starting up a day's work.
Depriving it this may lead it not to perform to it's full potentials.
And you wouldn't wanna know it's long time effect.




Health is wealth

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Nobody: 4:08pm On Jan 14, 2022
You say she is a prayer warrior, how long does she spend praying?

Maybe if she can do maximum 10mins praying she may have time to make breakfast and clean the house.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by ImaIma1(f): 11:26pm On Jan 14, 2022
She's a prayer warrior and she's cohabiting with you.

So, is the prayer before or after the sex? Or she takes a break to fast and pray and breaks the fast with sex. Which one?

4 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by QuizPay: 9:53am On Jan 15, 2022
GenBuhari:
You say she is a prayer warrior, how long does she spend praying?

Maybe if she can do maximum 10mins praying she may have time to make breakfast and clean the house.

My thought also, thanks
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by QuizPay: 9:59am On Jan 15, 2022
ImaIma1:
She's a prayer warrior and she's cohabiting with you.

So, is the prayer before or after the sex? Or she takes a break to fast and pray and breaks the fast with sex. Which one?

cheesy this not topic for discussion.. She is a reserve kind of person and Her been at my side is just temporary just for me to know my stand and not about sex.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by ImaIma1(f): 11:24am On Jan 15, 2022
QuizPay:


cheesy this not topic for discussion.. She is a reserve kind of person and Her been at my side is just temporary just for me to know my stand and not about sex.


Ok. I won't probe further

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Yesboss0009: 9:21pm On Jan 15, 2022
My nigga Run
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Peace081: 9:21pm On Jan 15, 2022
She's a slay queen grin cheesy

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by ImoleNaija: 9:21pm On Jan 15, 2022
Funnily, those who have no work also find it so hard to do house chores nowadays. Wooo, this generation no be am at all. You would hardly come across any with no feministic traits.

I have one here, a colleague's gf. She makes only stew since she joined us about 6 months ago, even for swallows. She's so lazy to enter the kitchen or do cleaning. I do the cooking most times. I just dey look her & her bf. If na my girl ehn, she for don hear am. Make the two dey manage themselves dey go. I'm sure he would no longer be able to bear it when they get married - that is if they do.

As for me, helping you in the kitchen is not a problem but God knows I would not condone laziness under my roof. If you want to be a feminist, make your own money, make your own baby and remain single under your own roof.

5 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by everythinggirly(f): 9:22pm On Jan 15, 2022
A BIG RED FLAG.

3 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Goodnigga: 9:22pm On Jan 15, 2022
No, it is a green flag
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by blowjohn(m): 9:23pm On Jan 15, 2022
It's a green white green flag.
Meaning it's a nigerian thing.
Oga. For better for worse

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Okortor: 9:23pm On Jan 15, 2022
Nope, it's a yellow flag.

De zwor for dere..Chief simp rank loading soon alongside premium tears

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Nten: 9:25pm On Jan 15, 2022
Yes, a very flag red

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by DropsMic(m): 9:25pm On Jan 15, 2022
No it isn't... It's a pink flag
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by pussymonger1: 9:25pm On Jan 15, 2022
BROS CARRY YOUR CROSS . TAKE HER THE WAY SHE IS. I COOK IN MY PLACE TOO , I CLEAN MY KITCHEN AND WASH MY TOILET . IT WAS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING SINCE , SO THERE IS NO POINT IN STOPPING IT BECAUSE I HAVE A GIRL OR WIFE , SHE CAN HELP ,IM YET TO MARRY THOUGH BUT I DONT SEE THOSE THINGS AS ANYTHING BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOW A WOMAN CLEAN MY HOUSE I CAN NEVER BE SATISFY .IF ITS THINGS YOU AN TEACH HER ABEG DO , LOYAL GIRLS ARE RARE . LOWKEY HOOKERS FULL EVERYWHERE .WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER WHILE DOING IT .HONESTLY YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD GIRL ,HOLD HER TIGHT BUT DONT LET HER KNOW SO THAT IT WONT GET TO HER HEAD . NA HOLOSHO FULL NIGERIA

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Col0gne(f): 9:25pm On Jan 15, 2022
undecided
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by JayPeeOham: 9:25pm On Jan 15, 2022
QuizPay:

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

In a nutshell... "Na sleep we dey use know how death dey!!![font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]"

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