pocohantas:


Very manipulative set. I know them well.



No Ishi, not on this one. Trust me it makes you toxic and embittered. The only time a woman stops talking is when she has given up on the man. It is either she is seeking to replace him or she has decided to make him as dormant as he wants to be. So don’t stoop on this one.

You make so much sense.

descarado:

Don't keep mute. You will snap one day or you will start throwing out negative vibes without knowing it. This may make you transfer the aggression to househelp or somebody you have power over.

If it means nagging, nag.
Make him apologise. Don't start what you won't continue cos time will come when this will create a very big hole in your relationship.

I agree, also calls for a measured approach. Men generally grow and mature with time (though differently) in a relationship. A time comes when even the craziest of men start calming down and start listening more, things like family start taking more important places in their lives. Just like dads and moms who were high handed with their kids start being more respectful as the child grows and continues to table their disagreements

pocohantas:


I am not sucking anything up. His peace isn’t my own peace. I won’t give up my peace because an adult has decided to keep doing the wrong thing.

Mistakes our parents made. They want us to continue enabling that.

How can an adult misbehave and not apologise?
We don't have anything in common until you tender the deserved apology.
I shouldn't tell you what to do.

It's paramount to chose who align with your beliefs before one tie the knot.

One if not the most important trait to look out for in a man is flexibility.
If he is flexible,he will apologise when necessary even if he continues, apology is a must.

chatinent:


Don't force anyone to change.

Just change the habit of always trying to force them.

Na una no dey apologize. That's why why you are giving advice tending towards accepting bad behaviour.

OP don't mind chatinet and his other friend up there. When a person offends, he/she should take responsibility and accept the wrong and apologize. Forget men always using ego to cover things up.

As for me, you have to apologize and not form like you are above being wrong.

Ishilove:

Do this and he calls you a nag.

Sometimes having a talk and confronting him with questions is the way. Questions like:

Why don't you apologize when you offend?

Am I too small or beneath you that you cannot apologize when you wrong me?

How do you teach your children to apologize when you cannot apologize?

Should I stop apologizing to you when I offend you? And stop telling the kids to apologize when they are wrong?

There are some things that need fire brigade approach. Not all this "speak to him nicely" blah blah.

And when you say it once, you leave it and start taking actions on it.

ImaIma1:


Na una no dey apologize. That's why why you are giving advice tending towards accepting bad behaviour.

OP don't mind chatinet and his other friend up there. When a person offends, he/she should take responsibility and accept the wrong and apologize. Forget men always using ego to cover things up.

As for me, you have to apologize and not form like you are above being wrong.

You are right, sha. I just even realized I offended iyawo mi without knowing and thinking I deserve an apology.

Make I call am fess.

Choi.

chatinent:


You are right, sha. I just even realized I offended iyawo mi without knowing and thinking I deserve an apology.

Make I call am fess.

Choi.

You deserve an apology or she deserves an apology?

ImaIma1:


You deserve an apology or she deserves an apology?

Apologized to my queen.

Choi. Such a lovely better half.

Thanks.

ImaIma1:


Sometimes having a talk and confronting him with questions is the way. Questions like:

Why don't you apologize when you offend?

Am I too small or beneath you that you cannot apologize when you wrong me?

How do you teach your children to apologize when you cannot apologize?

Should I stop apologizing to you when I offend you? And stop telling the kids to apologize when they are wrong?

There are some things that need fire brigade approach. Not all this "speak to him nicely" blah blah.

And when you say it once, you leave it and start taking actions on it.

I am bookmarking this comment.

ImaIma1:


Sometimes having a talk and confronting him with questions is the way. Questions like:

Why don't you apologize when you offend?

Am I too small or beneath you that you cannot apologize when you wrong me?

How do you teach your children to apologize when you cannot apologize?

Should I stop apologizing to you when I offend you? And stop telling the kids to apologize when they are wrong?

There are some things that need fire brigade approach. Not all this "speak to him nicely" blah blah.

And when you say it once, you leave it and start taking actions on it.

Words of wisdom.

Graceama come and take notes.

.

Klass99:


Seven blessings and 21 kisses , you are my kinda girl.

I'll rather show people what I can do, than talk incessantly or repeat myself (I hate repetition)

Actions really do speak louder than words, when will more people grasp this?

Ladyhippolyta88, I enjoy the posts you share with me as well. It's your shared post that brought me here to Ima's comment and now I am enjoying the ones from Sheblayze too.

Glad to share


Thank you

Ladyhippolyta88:


Words of wisdom.

Graceama come and take notes.

Noted

Make I even go read wetin dey the OP wey make all these NL womens dey hyperventilate...

graceama:
Good morning Nl

Please i will like to know the best way to make a spouse that hardly admit/apologize for his wrong doings, to do so without it resulting to arguments.

Thanks

It's surprising no one has asked you to tell us what he did exactly.

And this one you're busy counting his wrong doings, is it that he just enjoys hurting your feelings deliberately over and over again?
Because if this is the case, then it's not apologies you should be looking for, but an escape route.

Ishilove:

I am bookmarking this comment.

Don't forget to come back and tell us of the wonderful answers you get in response to the questions abeg.... I would very much like to read what your manipulative other tells you in responds to those questions of yours

graceama:
Noted

Please don't forget to regale us with details of the comebacks for asking the particular questions abeg.

Kobojunkie:
Please don't forget to regale us with details of the comebacks for asking the particular questions abeg.

I don't really understand you

graceama:
I don't really understand you

Nevermind!

Kobojunkie:
Don't forget to come back and tell us of the wonderful answers you get in response to the questions abeg.... I would very much like to read what your manipulative other tells you in responds to those questions of yours

It will like end up with more arguments but nothing tried, nothing gained.

Kobojunkie:
Don't forget to come back and tell us of the wonderful answers you get in response to the questions abeg.... I would very much like to read what your manipulative other tells you in responds to those questions of yours

Kobo ehn! O wa l'ara yin.

Kobojunkie:
Nevermind!

So, Kobo can reply someone with never mind in this life time?

Ishilove:

It will like end up with more arguments but nothing tried, nothing gained.

Oh, you will definitely gain more insight into the workings of manipulative mind.

Mariangeles:
So, Kobo can reply someone with never mind in this life time?

There's a lot you don't know about me.

Klass99:


Seven blessings and 21 kisses , you are my kinda girl.

I'll rather show people what I can do, than talk incessantly or repeat myself (I hate repetition)

Actions really do speak louder than words, when will more people grasp this?

Ladyhippolyta88, I enjoy the posts you share with me as well. It's your shared post that brought me here to Ima's comment and now I am enjoying the ones from Sheblayze too.

Accepting it will later cause big problems as someone mentioned. It's best to discuss it. But many guys here try to make it seem like marriage is a slave-master relationship where the man can get away with anything.

Conspicuously enough, men are scarce on this thread. They know they are guilty.

Mariangeles:
Kobo ehn! O wa l'ara yin.

As in?

Wait a second... why do you chose to type in yoruba language to me though?

Ishilove:

I am bookmarking this comment.

It's not going down well with some people that believe they have the answers to EVERYTHING though. But they know better than to quote me

Kobojunkie:
There's a lot you don't know about me.

Well, the nairaland you that I know never give up on an argument.

Kobojunkie:
As in?

Wait a second... why do you choose to type in Yoruba language to me though?

You seem to understand it.

descarado:

Don't keep mute. You will snap one day or you will start throwing out negative vibes without knowing it. This may make you transfer the aggression to househelp or somebody you have power over.

If it means nagging, nag.
Make him apologise. Don't start what you won't continue cos time will come when this will create a very big hole in your relationship.

Nagging should be a no-no abeg! There is absolutely no benefit to that behavior, but a potentially hefty psychological price to be paid by the one who nags.

If the goal is to resist transferring aggression to others, I would recommend instead that people who find themselves in such environments find other ways to relieve stress eg. Join a gym or sports, try gardening, Journaling etc., anything but nagging abeg.

Mariangeles:

Well, the nairaland you that I know never gives up on an argument.
You seem to understand it.

That is not true of my person or my nairaland character at all.

I can pretty much read and comprehend all 3 of the major Nigerian languages in Nigeria ... well, mostly yoruba and Igbo. Just wandering why you chose to write in yorua here when you have been on a igbo spree for some time now.

Kobojunkie:
That is not true of my person or my nairaland character at all.

Hmmm.

I can pretty much read and comprehend all 3 of the major Nigerian languages in Nigeria ... well, mostly Yoruba and Igbo. Just wandering why you chose to write in Yoruba here when you have been on a Igbo spree for some time now.

You do? I mean, you can read and understand those Igbo that I type?

Mariangeles:

Hmmm.
You do? I mean, you can understand those Igbo that I type?

I quit when I am done... I even unfollow threads out of boredom and that happens several times in each a day.

Ofcourse, i grew up in Lagos and i schooled near the north so I would say I am your typical well rounded Nigerian.