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Am I Wrong ??? - Family - Nairaland

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Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 8:35am On Jan 21, 2022
Hello guys pls help me judge this matter. My elder brother had a child with his side chick , his wife has forgiven but she hate anyone being involved with the child. For like 3 years we haven't been involved with her cos of my sister in law even my parents are afraid to welcome their grand child and they have told us to do the same for peice to reign, but my elder sister who is married said we cannot reject our blood just to make her happy and she see the child every weekend and holidays she spend it at her place and my sister in law doesn't talk to her anymore. Me too I have decided to start seeing her cos we can't neglect our blood just for her and it was my niece 4th birthday this 16th January my other brother and I took her to a restaurant and we snapped a lot of pictures which I have posted on my WhatsApp, boom my sister in law blocked me.
She have three children one is 2 years younger than my niece and she is due for her fourth baby in March, if she has forgiven her husband to the extend of having two more kids I don't understand why she hate the little girl so much. She should be treating her like her own children
Is it right for her to stop us from seeing our niece?

2 Likes

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Zaheertyler(m): 8:48am On Jan 21, 2022
Lol.. anyone you want

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ifyjos(f): 10:45am On Jan 21, 2022
You are not wrong ooo, ignore her whether she like it or not the child is more important than her . She can become an ex wife/ sister in law because she is an outsider but the child will never be an ex to your family she is your blood and will remain your blood. Shower her with more love.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Stereotypes: 11:08am On Jan 21, 2022
No,you are not wrong.

The child is innocent and should not be treated badly at all.

The wife has not forgiven,the child will constantly be a reminder for her so so she is pouring her aggression at the wrong people instead of facing her real problem,her husband.

I empathise with her situation but she has chosen to remain in her marriage so the baby will always be present whether she likes it or not.It's a pity.

You guys should keep the child far away from her please and well done for being kind to an innocent child.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 12:03pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:

1. if she has forgiven her husband to the extend of having two more kids I don't understand why she hate the little girl so much. She should be treating her like her own children
2. Is it right for her to stop us from seeing our niece?
1. Try to walk a mile in your in-law's shoes for a bit to understand why she is having a seriously hard time with it. She may say she has forgiven but the hurt is a human being that continues to grow. No be small thing to deal with. undecided

If your own husband did to you what her husband did to her, would you be able to forgive your spouse as she did, have more kids with him and also allow the child born outside of your marriage into your home? undecided

2. It isn't necessarily right but I don't think you should be trying to decide right or wrong for your sister-in-law. You should instead decide what you want to do in your own life regarding the the kid's matter. undecided

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Richy4(m): 12:22pm On Jan 21, 2022
She has not forgiven and forgotten no matter how we try to sugarcoat it...And please try and keep that little girl 5billion miles from her to avoid "food poisoning"... she is a constant reminder of your brother's transgression in their union...

And no you did nothing wrong.... and please U and your elder sister should not take her attitude to heart.... some people have ways of dealing with issues that might seem unorthodox to some people... She is fuming and venting the way that she knew how...

My prayers is that she should not let it consume her because 3yrs is enough time to let out the steam and breathe again

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by socialmediaman: 12:50pm On Jan 21, 2022
There’s no right or wrong here. You decide what fight you pick and whether it’s worth it. For example, Huawei had a 5G contract with the UK but due to conflicts with US interests, the UK decide to cancel the contract. The UK could’ve also continued with the contract at the risk of it’s US diplomatic relations.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Truvelisback(m): 1:15pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:
Hello guys pls help me judge this matter. My elder brother had a child with his side chick , his wife has forgiven but she hate anyone being involved with the child. For like 3 years we haven't been involved with her cos of my sister in law even my parents are afraid to welcome their grand child and they have told us to do the same for peice to reign, but my elder sister who is married said we cannot reject our blood just to make her happy and she see the child every weekend and holidays she spend it at her place and my sister in law doesn't talk to her anymore. Me too I have decided to start seeing her cos we can't neglect our blood just for her and it was my niece 4th birthday this 16th January my other brother and I took her to a restaurant and we snapped a lot of pictures which I have posted on my WhatsApp, boom my sister in law blocked me.
She have three children one is 2 years younger than my niece and she is due for her fourth baby in March, if she has forgiven her husband to the extend of having two more kids I don't understand why she hate the little girl so much. She should be treating her like her own children
Is it right for her to stop us from seeing our niece?
U guys should try and protect that little girl, make hatred and jealousy no go make her poison the girl to death.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by GboyegaD(m): 1:26pm On Jan 21, 2022
Your brother is the major challenge here. He's wicked and callous as the child never demanded to be born. As for his wife, she's not sensible enough to know that the child in question has no fault in all of this.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 1:28pm On Jan 21, 2022
Truvelisback:
U guys should try and protect that little girl, make hatred and jealousy no go make her poison the girl to death.


You are right even my sister have said the same thing, she has told the baby mama to not allow my brother to take the child to his house cos she might poison or batter her to death.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 1:30pm On Jan 21, 2022
GboyegaD:
Your brother is the major challenge here. He's wicked and callous as the child never demanded to be born. As for his wife, she's not sensible enough to know that the child in question has no fault in all of this.

You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Raalsalghul: 1:36pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep


Whaaat!!!

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 1:50pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:
You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep
Your brother does not even pay a kobo for the child's upkeep, not even undercover but na the wife issues you dey query instead? undecided

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by GboyegaD(m): 1:54pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep

So the wife's acting is because your brother gave her the leverage.
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 1:54pm On Jan 21, 2022
Kobojunkie:
Your brother does not even pay a kobo for the child's upkeep, not even undercover but na the wife issues you dey query instead? undecided

He has abandon the child to make his wife happy cos she want him to have nothing to do with the child the same way she want all of us to do and what do you want me to do? Is he a child that I have to remind to take care of his child?
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 1:56pm On Jan 21, 2022
GboyegaD:


So the wife's acting is because your brother gave her the leverage.

Yes he is afraid of her
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Foodqueen(f): 1:59pm On Jan 21, 2022
Pray your husband have a child outside, then u will understand her pains.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by GboyegaD(m): 1:59pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


Yes he is afraid of her

He isn't afraid of her. Don't make her the bad person here. If he is afraid of her, he would never have stepped out in the first instance. He's wicked and very selfish. Him not taking any responsibility on the child speaks volume and in case he has doubts about been the father, he should conduct a DNA on the child and act like a real man would.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by GboyegaD(m): 2:00pm On Jan 21, 2022
Foodqueen:
Pray your husband have a child outside, then u will understand her pains.


What pains ma? To the point of fighting whoever has a relationship with the child? Wickedness has no other name than what her actions portray.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:02pm On Jan 21, 2022
Foodqueen:
Pray your husband have a child outside, then u will understand her pains.


My dear no women wish for that but if it ever happens I Will not hate the innocent child.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:02pm On Jan 21, 2022
GboyegaD:


He isn't afraid of her. Don't make her the bad person here. If he is afraid of her, he would never have stepped out in the first instance. He's wicked and very selfish. Him not taking any responsibility on the child speaks volume and in case he has doubts about been the father, he should conduct a DNA on the child and act like a real man would.

Dna was done when the child was 7 months he is the father but his wife doesn't want him to be involve with his child but I blame him for listening to her. He is old enough to man up and take care of the child

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 2:04pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:
He has abandon the child to make his wife happy cos she want him to have nothing to do with the child the same way she want all of us to do and what do you want me to do? Is he a child that I have to remind to take care of his child?
So you are essentially here to blame your brother's poor choice on his wife? undecided

Was his wife also the reason your brother cheated and had a baby outside his marriage too? Please wake up! Your brother abandoning the child has nothing to do with the wife, but everything to do with him and him alone. undecided

And as for the baby mama, why hasn't she been to the courts to demand that man pay for the upkeep of the child? Or is her inaction in that area also to be blamed on your brother's wife? This brother's wife could not keep her from invading her marriage but would stop her from visiting the courts to demand your brother pay his share of the upkeep of the child? undecided

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by bomapelle: 2:08pm On Jan 21, 2022
The deed had already been done, the innocent child has not done anything wrong to deserve such hate. You guys should continue to show her love.
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:18pm On Jan 21, 2022
Kobojunkie:
So you are essentially here to blame your brother's poor choice on his wife? undecided

Was his wife also the reason your brother cheated and had a baby outside his marriage too? Please wake up! Your brother abandoning the child has nothing to do with the wife, but everything to do with him and him alone. He is the one whose motives you should instead be here questioning. undecided

And as for the baby mama, why hasn't she been to the courts to demand that man pay for the upkeep of the child? Or is her inaction in that area also to be blamed on your brother's wife? This brother's wife could not keep her from invading her marriage but would stop her from visiting the courts to demand your brother pay his share of the upkeep of the child? undecided

No I don't blame her for his cheating because he is old enough, he choose to break the vow he have made to his wife but I blame her for not allowing him to be in his child life. Back in 2018 when the baby was 3 months we had a family meetings and their pastor was also there so they have an agreement he will be sending upkeep money every month which he have never done. Later on he told my sister that his wife doesnt want him to have a relationship with the child but my sister told him he should no matter what. So far for 4 years he hasn't done anything for the child and if it is not for my sister who is sending money whenever she can. So yes he is doing so to protect his marriage and I don't know why she hasn't been to court yet and I can't answer for her
I only answered based on what I know about.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:19pm On Jan 21, 2022
bomapelle:
The deed had already been done, the innocent child has not done anything wrong to deserve such hate. You guys should continue to show her love.

We love her and we will never abandon her
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Richy4(m): 2:20pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep

wow!!! No nappies, no baby food... no drug or antenatal/ post natal wahala, No cloths for the baby...for 3 to 4 years!!!!!!?

Hmm!!!!That baby mama must be a 'born again' side chick Haba!!!! cheesy

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 2:20pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


You are right, he doesn't even pay a kobo for the child upkeep

That is very irresponsible of him.
He's refusing to take responsibility of his wicked acts.
Now, he's forming loyal to his wife, after doing damage.
I also blame the foolish mother of that child for agreeing to date a married man.
Now, they're messing up the life of an innocent child.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 2:22pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


We love her and we will never abandon her

Please! She needs all the love she can get. She needs to feel loved.
Make her feel loved and wanted as much as you can. That is what a child truly needs.
Ignore your brother and his wife.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:25pm On Jan 21, 2022
Richy4:


wow!!! No nappies, no baby food... no drug or antenatal/ post natal wahala, No cloths for the baby...for 3 to 4 years!!!!!!?

Hmm!!!!That baby mama must be a 'born again' side chick Haba!!!! cheesy

Yes nothing from him but I hope she has also learned her lesson because she has already had 2 children before my niece but she didn't learn and choose to date a married man so she is also to blame but as long the child is innocent she doesn't deserve to suffer for his parents mistakes.

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Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:27pm On Jan 21, 2022
Mariangeles:


That is very irresponsible of him.
He's refusing to take responsibility of his wicked acts.
Now, he's forming loyal to his wife, after doing damage.
I also blame the foolish mother of that child for agreeing to date a married man.
Now, they're messing up the life of an innocent child.

You are correct the poor child is here suffering from her parents mistakes but she doesn't deserve to suffer.

3 Likes

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:28pm On Jan 21, 2022
Mariangeles:


Please! She needs all the love she can get. She needs to feel loved.
Make her feel loved and wanted as much as you can. That is what a child truly needs.
Ignore your brother and his wife.

Thanks ,my siblings and I will give her all the love she deserves, even if her father doesn't care it doesn't matter because she will not be the first to be brought up without a father.

1 Like

Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 2:30pm On Jan 21, 2022
Ciscodollards:


Dna was done when the child was 7 months he is the father but his wife doesn't want him to be involve with his child but I blame him for listening to her. He is old enough to man up and take care of the child

What about your parents? Especially your dad?
What's their stance in all these?
I know no responsible father will be alive and allow his son act irresponsibly.

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