Ciscodollards:


No I don't blame her for his cheating because he is old enough, he choose to break the vow he have made to his wife but I blame her for not allowing him to be in his child life. Back in 2018 when the baby was 3 months we had a family meetings and their pastor was also there so they have an agreement he will be sending upkeep money every month which he have never done. Later on he told my sister that his wife doesnt want him to have a relationship with the child but my sister told him he should no matter what. So far for 4 years he hasn't done anything for the child and if it is not for my sister who is sending money whenever she can. So yes he is doing so to protect his marriage and I don't know why she hasn't been to court yet and I can't answer for her
I only answered based on what I know about.

Ciscodollards:


Don't misunderstand me about popping babies I have no problem with that cos children are blessing but all I was trynna say is if she has forgiven the cheater to the extend of adding Two more kids in less than two years with c section and why is she finding hard to acknowledge the child and allow us to have a relationship with her without her blocking us. Don't you think she should transfer her aggression to her husband who broke the vow he made to her and not us. Anyway I think I should do the same thing as my sister did is to ignore and focus on other things. My brother and sis are not in good terms cos of this same issue

Ciscodollards:
Hello guys pls help me judge this matter. My elder brother had a child with his side chick , his wife has forgiven but she hate anyone being involved with the child. For like 3 years we haven't been involved with her cos of my sister in law even my parents are afraid to welcome their grand child and they have told us to do the same for peice to reign, but my elder sister who is married said we cannot reject our blood just to make her happy and she see the child every weekend and holidays she spend it at her place and my sister in law doesn't talk to her anymore. Me too I have decided to start seeing her cos we can't neglect our blood just for her and it was my niece 4th birthday this 16th January my other brother and I took her to a restaurant and we snapped a lot of pictures which I have posted on my WhatsApp, boom my sister in law blocked me.
She have three children one is 2 years younger than my niece and she is due for her fourth baby in March, if she has forgiven her husband to the extend of having two more kids I don't understand why she hate the little girl so much. She should be treating her like her own children
Is it right for her to stop us from seeing our niece?

Ciscodollards:



Nobody want her to accommodate the child that but my point is why doesn't she want us to have a relationship with our niece . We were in good terms no problem at all but after I posted her pics she blocked me , it is not fair na

Richy4:


Did we read the same thing or is our brains wired differently from different Electricians? we are talking about a child... a 3yr old Innocent child...That an irresponsible sperm donor abandoned..

If she can forgive the randy man, why is she finding it difficult to tolerate anyone that looked the way of an innocent child, that did not asked to be in such situation in the first place...

Any one that disliked an innocent child that did nothing to them is a witch/ wizard in my own book...And that sister inlaw should double check if she was one... she liked her own children but would not take an eye to see another child being pampered the way kids should (not that the husband was the one doing it in the first place)....Is that not witchcraft?

All her grievances should be on the husband who defiled their marital vow...
And based on your question, she has the right to file for a divorce on grounds of infidelity... but since she wasn't doing that, she should learn to breathe before she get choked for lack of air

Kobojunkie:
Your brother does not even pay a kobo for the child's upkeep, not even undercover but na the wife issues you dey query instead?

Twenty8:
So u think she'll just pretend as if nothing happened and accept the child?

Richy4:


No one says she should accept or not to accept her...
What I am saying is that she should locate the appropriate person or persons to channel her displeasure on... not on the innocent kid or the people trying to be in the life of an innocent child irrespective of the circumstances surrounding her birth....

Nairaland is full of gender based biased individuals (Male/female), ... we are talking about a little girl here... People should keep their gender based differences aside when a kid is involved... Though I am glad that OP has promised to continue what she was doing...

alpontif:
A Man, a Real Man should understand that his responsibility is primarily to his Children, his blood, as such, that your brother is the Wicked Person.

I will not even blame the wife, women are expected to react that way, only the very few among them that has the holy spirit living in them will be able to show live to anything other than their own offspring.

By not providing for the Child, by listening to his wife, your brother has committed grievous errors,and basically he is still a Simp.

He made a terrible mistake by impregnating another woman, he is now compounding that mistake by refusing to recognise or care for his biological child that he has a spiritual responsibility to, all in the name of trying to please the wife.

If he is not careful, that Child will be the only glorious child in his family, and will surpass all the others, if you try to be unfair in how you deal with innocent souls, Powerful entities have a way of balancing the equation in a manner that will not please you at the end of the day. He is sinning against the innocent child, against himself, against his God by continuing to ignore the Chid because of the wife.

It is not too late, he should man up, recognise the child, build a relationship with the child, provide for the child and make sure that the world sees that he took ownership and responsibility for the sake of natural justice to the Child..

Continuing on this path will cause issues for his wife's children in future, I have seen this play out in many cases.

Your brother should be a man. Men, Real Men fear no one, they are only accountable to God and their Conscience.. He should do the right thing, even if it will make his wife unhappy. Better that the wife is unhappy, than an innocent child's spirit be angry with him.

GboyegaD:


What pains ma? To the point of fighting whoever has a relationship with the child? Wickedness has no other name than what her actions portray.

Foodqueen:


Marriage is deeper than what u think.

Your brother is not a fool. He chooses his marriage over a love child.

If his wife have chosen to leave, maybe he would av been miserable. That's the sacrifice he made for cheating.

Let them be. It's not easy seeing a reminder of your husband's infidelity staring straight at you.

Your parents understands better.

Is your sister married?

How would she av reacted if her hubby cheats and av a child outside.

For you, someday you will understand.

Ta ba ni ko kan wa o....a o leso...
Ta ba ni ko kan wa.......