They Bury Their Faces in Shame

Hmmmmmm!

One of the most insightful thread I have read in recent times.

I will end with this saying from where I come from, translated in pidgin english.

"Shame no dey catch mad man, rather na dey family members of the mad man shame dey catch"

Entprys:
For our own region here,
we no send.
We bliv in life goes on

Yes you’re right
Shame no dey catch you

Shame nooni. Abi what else?

People definitely would gossip and scathe the family but they would never say any bullsh*t to the face of any of the family members face.

Unless though any of the family members of the criminal has a beef or verbal exchange with an outsider or neighbor, that would prompt them to say crap to the family member's face.

The best thing for the family to do is to relocate to a place that's way too far from the former street they lived.

But as for the crime, they would forever live with the shame for the rest of their lives

AppliedReason:
I had never really given much thought to what happens to families and friends of people who go viral for one scandalous wrong reason or the other be it fraud, nudes, violent crimes etc.

Until recently when I was passing an area and my friend who I had gone to visit pointed to a house and told me of how the owner's son was involved in the act of kidnapping.
And then it hit me, the lives of their families will never remain the same. They would forever live with the stigma and shame of what their relative had done.
For me, once I close tab,minimise browser. E don finish but for others, O o o.

Take for example the case of the 4 young ritualist wannabe yahoo boys in ogun state. How would the people of the area relate with their parents, brothers sisters etc?
OR The proprietor who killed Little Hanifa in Kano? (I even heard his parents ran away)
OR The human eating cannibal in zamfara who has 19 children. What becomes of them? How would you grow up knowing your father was a cannibal?
Is society tolerant of such people despite their innocence?
I even asked a friend if he could marry a girl whose dad was a cannibal despite ticking all his boxes. His reply was an emphatic NO.

For the benefit of all for all, anyone with first hand experience of what life was like for the relatives of any of these criminals that others only get to read about in the news should please share.
Please share so people may know that the principle of "collective responsibility" is not dead and be guided accordingly. One person may commit the crime but a lot of people would pay for it in one way or the other.

Mods, pls do the needful.

One of the best and most incisive posts on this forum in a very long while.

officialwdhtv:
I posted something a while ago about Anini's son and the stigma he still passes through even tilk today because of his late dad


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL6M_0dY8qs

What such a person can do is to dedicate his life to a public, noble course.
Then he will have broken the cycle of public indignity.
But to stay silent and cower under the influence is to fan the flames of suspicion leading to alienation.
My two cents.

helinues:
Stigma is really still existing..

Yoruba's actually really care about drawing bad names to the family, almost all Yoruba mother's always make this statement below

Ran' ti Omo eni ti o nse ( Remember the son of who you are)

Despite the quote above and similar one found in other parts and tribes of(in) the country, we are still one huge bunch of corrupt guys and celebrate corruption In all its ramifications…aren’t we a joke of our words
No be by quote of wise men o…

Yazmin:


Despite the quote above and similar one found in other parts and tribes of(in) the country, we are still one huge bunch of corrupt guys and celebrate corruption In all its ramifications…aren’t we a joke of our words
No be by quote of wise men o…

Yeah I understand, but those quotes is still effective in Yoruba society. Even ordinary elderly person would make reminder of that statement whenever they are advising you..

Very thoughtful topic. Quick story, there is a girl close to my house (she fine) her mom kainda met my mom & suggest we dated..I been dey reason am

Her brother converted to a different religion, in my head..I was like I can't build anything serious with her (I know it seems unfair and maybe uncalled for)..that isn't just d reason why sha but you get..these things have trickling effects

Bobloco:
Hmmmmmm!

One of the most insightful thread I have read in recent times.

I will end with this saying from where I come from, translated in pidgin english.

Shame no dey catch mad man, rather na dey family members of the mad man shame dey catch

I guess you are from Delta. Precisely Isoko/Urhobo/Ukwani

Ask Abacha's family or Diezani's family or Bode George family how they're fairing. Are they not enjoying life more than you? The fact is that in this country, any person wey come out for news na supper star. Whether good or bad

Why would you categories fraud and nudity to crimes like kidnappings, murder or robberies? Crimes are in different league for sure.
Most relatives in Nigeria would always be proud of their sons or daughters who is into fraud of course.

AppliedReason:
I had never really given much thought to what happens to families and friends of people who go viral for one scandalous wrong reason or the other be it fraud, nudes, violent crimes etc.

Until recently when I was passing an area and my friend who I had gone to visit pointed to a house and told me of how the owner's son was involved in the act of kidnapping.
And then it hit me, the lives of their families will never remain the same. They would forever live with the stigma and shame of what their relative had done.
For me, once I close tab,minimise browser. E don finish but for others, O o o.

Take for example the case of the 4 young ritualist wannabe yahoo boys in ogun state. How would the people of the area relate with their parents, brothers sisters etc?
OR The proprietor who killed Little Hanifa in Kano? (I even heard his parents ran away)
OR The human eating cannibal in zamfara who has 19 children. What becomes of them? How would you grow up knowing your father was a cannibal?
Is society tolerant of such people despite their innocence?
I even asked a friend if he could marry a girl whose dad was a cannibal despite ticking all his boxes. His reply was an emphatic NO.

For the benefit of all for all, anyone with first hand experience of what life was like for the relatives of any of these criminals that others only get to read about in the news should please share.
Please share so people may know that the principle of "collective responsibility" is not dead and be guided accordingly. One person may commit the crime but a lot of people would pay for it in one way or the other.

Mods, pls do the needful.

That's why they are called the black sheep of the family

Labeling theory of Criminology has elucidated that. If there's any advantage to it, it is chiefly that it would serve as a deterrent to the general public.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Isoright....
No level
Life continues
Funny enough Even when it is glaring and obvious you carried out that crime...your family will continue to defend you that probably you were accused wrongly

Family na the highest.....they will never abandon you
Blood is thicker than water

Hmmmm

Abachas children are billionaires

I guess you are still leaving in 80,s or pre-80s ,people don't send ooooooo, they would also blame it on other, most especially government of the day.

.......let me give you scenario that happened in my locality: a woman selling food was accused that she was using water mix with her vagina to sell her food, latter some people advice getting go to market to denounce it, which she did. When I heard about it, I adviced the woman that she shouldn't that instead she should relocate to other area of the town, that even though if she didnt do it, nobody would believe her and that people won't buy her food again, .............could you imagine this woman turn the fight on me, ...........today, she is no longer selling food Because of o patronage and she still leaving in that area.

People no longer shame for whatever crime they commit again oooo

Life is not just fair . ... Alot are there, coiled in a corner.

But then, we have to understand that we too much celebrate crimes in our society, especially those 'soft crimes'. Must parents think it is like mining gold from a magic box?

I wouldn't judge an individual base on a crime his/her relative committed, we all have our own personalities.
The family name has been stained, but that's not a reason to start to start judging there entired family members.

Years ago, a woman sent her son to buy something from a trader not far from their house, while the trader stood up to go bring the product the boy stole peak milk and hid it in his clothes but the woman caught him and gave him a dirty slap.

The boy went home crying to his mother, instead of her to caution the boy, she stood up and followed the boy back to the trader shop to fight.
Naso she carey that tin milk can and threw it at the woman, the woman fell, hit her head and died.

She was arrested and the rest of the family moved out of our community and abandoned their house till now. But till today people still point at that house as the house of the woman who killed iya lagbaja.
This happened over 15 years ago.

Moneyboyz:
Years ago, a women sent her son to buy something from a trader not far from their house, while the trader stood up to go bring the product the boy stole peak milk and hid it in his clothes but the woman caught him and gave him a dirty slap.

The boy went home crying to his mother, instead of her to caution the boy, she stood up and followed the boy back to the trader shop to fight.
Naso she carey that tin milk can and threw it at the woman, the woman fell, hit her head and died.

She was arrested and the rest of the family moved out of our community and abandoned their house till now. But till today people still point at that house as the house of the woman who killed iya lagbaja.
This happened over 15 years ago.

Dang

If you ask me, relatives of those involved in ritual killings should be incarcerated as well. Maybe that way people can begin to caution their loved ones and monitor them for such acts. Especially those silly parents that encourage their kids into yahoo and rituals.

Just imagine the parents of that Jos yahoo killer were already trying to help him escape.

People who perpetrate violent crimes seldom think of anyone but themselves. However, even the Bible agrees that "money answereth all things." Late Sen. Buruji Kashamu was once embroiled in an embarrassing drug fiasco, his son has also been fingered in a high school cult related murder. The family is still being accorded respect by the NPF not just because their late patriarch was a serving senator when he died, but because money is still in their hands. So guy man, it’s only the poor that have to worry about the effects of crime on their self esteem. Or that is what the Nigerian society is teaching its young.

Meanwhile, Watch the interesting story of Nigeria's most notorious and most wanted criminal, Lawrence Anini Aka The Law. Who terrorized old Bendel state in the early 1980s, See how he met his waterloo and his eventual execution. Watch everything below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnC-wBHX82M

In thè olden days in Yorubaland, thè family house would be deserted. The people in that house might relocate to the farm, as a result of shame. It would be part of history in that particular village or town for the next generation.

When we were Young, if a police come to a compound, the particular house he entered, we the little children would never enter that house to play any more. Even without arresting anybody, he just come there with a stick in his hand, not handcuff. That house becomes a talk in the town.

Today, you will see corrupt politicians charged to court being celebrated, if it were in the olden days, they would commit suicide. Their house would be demolished.
It would be in history for their grand children: ile baba nla yin ti won wo nun. B'oba ba 'tan, o ba aroba ni?

blaquebelle:
If you ask me, relatives of those involved in ritual killings should be incarcerated as well. Maybe that way people can begin to caution their loved ones and monitor them for such acts. Especially those silly parents that encourage their kids into yahoo and rituals.

Just imagine the parents of that Jos yahoo killer were already trying to help him escape.

you know that ritual killing at the end of the day is still murder and no one can be responsible for the actions of another ,yes its the duty of parents and guardians to advice but it's left for the individual to choose his actions. How would you feel if you're arrested by the police and sentenced to life or given a death sentence because your brother whom you haven't seen for over 10 years was involved in a murder case ?

What of the family that lost their loved ones through their act?

Amuluonyenaego:

Proper lie, na the person wey comit the crime dey shame no be the entire family.

omo, forget stories oooooo, family dey join bear the brunt.... E no easy like many people think because feelings/emotions, blood bond dey involved. Even the most heartless human go still dey affected in some way.