Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

Pay...but.wen dem ask u for financial help in future.no help dem.as dem no get conscience.
Just 500 naira inside each envelope

Are you getting married to a stranger? What's your fiancée's opinion about this?

Acidosis:


Are you getting married to a stranger? What's your fiancée's opinion about this?

She said that’s what they told her to tell me. She doesn’t have a clue either.

If I were u,I will call my would be wife and tell her that after this marriage ceremony,that u don't want to see her family near your house let alone come closer.

Then wait and watch her talk to them to behave.

Hmm

Absolutely..... Depends

The only compulsory pay is the bride price the rest depends on your level of craze “list inclusive “

Blixon:
Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

PUT 100 NAIRA IN EACH OF THE ENVELOPE

You can't satisfy them. Try to convince them

It's ok.

Because same parents have eaten from the fruits of mercilessness that they have made other people's children go through, they are unable to stop the tradition that imprisons everyone.

I learnt a long time ago that you can negotiate anything with anybody. Op, try and negotiate what you can afford.

Lol this is ridiculous..
First, u need to tell us which part in igboland, hopefully someone from there will give us an insight about the traditions there.

I am igbo from Anambra nd this is my first time hearing about this whole nonsense..

ibechris:
If I were u,I will call my would be wife and tell her that after this marriage ceremony,that u don't want to see her family near your house let alone come closer.

Then wait and watch her talk to them to behave.

Best advice so far !!!

It's like that my brother especially in the East side shaa.. But the truth is you do the reasonably much you can do and finish up later after the wedding.

My people say nobody finishes eating from an in-law once.

Calm down with this song

https://mayvibe.com/album/idi-ebube1612459870

They should be able to negotiate it.

Like those money in the envelope, e no spos be big money, at least between 1k to 5k or they eliminate it totally.

If you're not okay with the list, please tell them you can't afford it.

Don't agree only to treat them like beggars like some people are suggesting.

Them no use gun force you to bring all those things.

hmmm

Rubbish

Its not normal but... In my own case, I used wrapper and wine to give invitation card to all my aunties and uncles respectively, both paternal and maternal. It's not a culture in my place but its a way of telling them that you are getting married. All my cousins from my maternal side brought wrapper to my mum to inform and invite her their wedding. I learnt it from there.

before opening the thread,I knew the tribe

U r getting married to a hungry family, better do the ones u can do, if they insist, u quit

Traditional wedding in Nigeria is just a way for people to milk you dry. Legally it stands no ground.

I've got only two brothers and my uncles are millionaires so they don't need ur envelop. Bride price is 50naira just apply within.

Too much

Find this as lies

Blixon:

She said that’s what they told her to tell me. She doesn’t have a clue either.

Omo.... u must meet her back because she must surely have a clue oooh

if u can't afford it just tell ur wife to b if they say that's d tradition, say u hear put d list for cupboard n b doing free banging till she carry belly or they get tired of waiting

Those guys wan use you cash out

For their mind dem don see maga nao, do the ones you can and leave the rest bro.