ubunja:
nowhere on the manosphere are people promoting cold approaching. From Stephiscold to Alpha Male Strategies to Corry Waine to Cousin TTaw to Rom Wills All the red pill groups are on Choosing Signals, that's the red pill. If you want to push an idea that is not really red pill all in the name of trying to be inclusive and accommodating people who want retain their blue pill methods, you're corrupting the very game you're trying to understand.

Cold Approach doesn't give you confidence,, what gives you confidence is a girl you don't know, whom you've done Nothing for, and she chooses you to be her BF as you are. That's what will improve your self worth and make you feel like a human being of value.

My reply
∆

Have you ever heard about Briffault Law? If you understand that law, you will understand that females will only give you green lights after they must have established that there is something (tangible or intangible) to gain from you.

With this your post, you just confirmed what I've always believed, which is that it is far better to learn red pills from books than to gain the knowledge from one person on forums like this.

I've learned far more about red pill from books than I learned on this forum or even YouTube videos.

The two people who have influenced my red pill journey the most are Rollo Tomassi and Alan Roger Currie. In fact, most of my posts are based on what I learned from the books of these two individuals.

I'm one of the biggest fan of cold-approaching on this thread AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE A FAN OF COLD-APPROACHING.

I've agreed with many of your teachings in the past but on this one, I will completely disagree. You can't convince me otherwise. In fact, you guys are making me to see green light is a new way.

I don't know the red pillers you have stated in your comment, but I'm curious on why you have excluded Rollo Tomassi, one of the 3 god-fathers of the red pill community.

Rollo Tomassi definitely supports cold approaching in his first book. Rollo is one of the most respected men in the red pill community.

In his first book, The Rational Male, (I've read it from the beginning to the end 3 TIMES), he clearly stated that THE FEAR OF REJECTION BY FEMALES IS THE CAUSE OF MORE THAN 90% OF THE PROBLEMS WE GUYS FACE WITH FEMALES.

To confirm my claim, go to page 52 of his first Rational Male book. He discussed buffers and stated that fear of rejections is what make men settle for buffers.

He stated that many guys are afraid to woo ladies because they fear being rejected. It is this fear of rejection that is making many guys settle for the following buffers:

a. Long distance relationship when it is clear the lady has already moved on. The guy is just afraid to woo ladies and start another relationship. So, he continue to condone a lady that no longer cares for him.

b. Suffer from oneitis and scarcity mentality: The guy is just too afraid to get rejected by other ladies. So, he sticks with the one lady that has ever given him what you guys called green light.

c. Masturbation. A guy that has 2 or more ladies he is romantic with will hardly ever have time to masturbate. He has more than enough pusssies to engage in masturbation. All he needs to do is just call one of his plates. He doesn't need to waste his time masturbating.

d. Online dating: the guy is afraid to approach ladies offline. So, he settled for online dating where he can hide from being rejected.

e. Pornography: why would you be watching porn if you have plates that can do it all with you? The time you spend watching porn videos and pictures, why don't you use that time to go and woo pretty ladies around you and start getting real life porn in your room?

Rollo Tomassi mentioned other buffers too which have their root cause in the fear of getting rejected.

He also said that it is better to get rejected than to regret not making a move.

Also, I once watched a YouTube video where the creator stated that the fear of rejections was what gave birth to another section of the manosphere called Incels.

After Incels woo probably 1 to 5 ladies and all of them rejected him, these guys then give up on wooing ladies and started crying that no woman love them, so they are now "involuntary celibate(Incel)."

But the reality is that the Chads and Tyrones that get many ladies as plates have also been rejected by many ladies, some even in hundreds and thousands.

So tell me, if you woo hundreds to probably thousands of ladies, how would you not have at least 2 quality women at any time who you will be romantic with and who will greatly improve your life?

I don't support the teachings of PUA. I've only read one PUA book which is "The Game by Neil Strauss." The book is regarded by many as one of the most influential PUA books.

I learned some stuffs about women in the book but one thing is very clear in the book: PUA focus on manipulating women just to get into their pants. I will never support that.

If I like you as a lady, I will let you know as soon as possible, usually the first time I woo you. If the lady likes me, all well and good. We can continue the relationship. If she says she's not interested, I will leave her alone. There is no need to manipulate her by giving her money, dates and other things just to make her like me. There are too many ladies around for me to waste my time manipulating a lady.

I remember that towards the end of the Rational Male book, Rollo Tomassi wrote that the teachings of PUA is like giving little children explosive dynamite. The dynamite can damage the children if they don't know how to handle it well. Surely, PUA will help you get many women to have sex with you but it will not help you separate or distinguish the good women from the bad ones. You just have sex with them all. I don't support that.

On the other hand, Red Pill teaches you how to separate the good women from the bad ones. Even if you woo hundreds to thousands of ladies, you will be able to quickly identify ladies that are trying to manipulate you or cause you headaches. You will cut such ladies off your life as soon as you start seeing the signs. I think I have shared some of my experiences with manipulative ladies. None of those ladies is with me as of today. I've blocked them all out of my life. I did that thanks to red pill.

I'm also a big fan of Alan Roger Currie. He is completely against the teachings of PUA. He encourages guy to approach ladies that they find attractive and BE 100% HONEST WITH THEM about what you want from them even from your very first conversation.

This is what I've been doing. I've met ladies who shared similar interests with me when I told them my mind within the first 5 minutes of us talking. These ladies just agreed with me and followed up on our agreements. Also, they didn't give me any green light before I approached them.

I've come to realize that most of the problems we guys faced with women is because many guys are just too dishonest. Women know this and they use that to their advantage.

Another reason I support cold approaching is because one of the feminine imperative that has become so embedded in our society. Rollo Tomassi stated this feminine imperative in his book.

Rollo stated that the society want women to always have the power to choose the men they want. They don't want men to have the power to choose women on their own.

This feminine imperative want women to have the ability to choose the most valuable man she can get. They want you as a guy to disqualify yourself from choosing a woman.

That is why when you see a beautiful lady, instead of wooing her, you will start thinking things like: I'm not dressed well, I don't have money, I'm not rich, I'm not handsome, and I'm not this and that.

That is the feminine imperative working in you. As a guy, you shouldn't concern yourself with those excuses. Just approach and see what happens.

Even if the lady rejects you, she will never forget you as the guy who had the confidence to approach and woo her. Many guys before you had failed in that regard.

According to Rollo Tomassi, "a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of abundance mindset – confidence is derived from options."

So, how can you be confident and how many options would you have if you are only waiting for green lights?

Those of you supporting waiting for green lights are unconsciously supporting the feminine imperative I stated above. You let a woman choose you while you relegate your own power to choose from the pool of women around you.

You will completely destroy that feminine imperative when you cold approach ladies you find that meet your criteria for the ladies you want to be with.

For example, women know many guys are intimidated by beautiful women. You wish to talk to her but you then overthink about talking to her. You rationalize that you are poor, you don't dress well, you don't have a car, and other bullshit excuses. After some times, you decided not to approach her.

Wooolah! The feminine imperative won again!

What you just did is to let the lady not choose you even if the beautiful lady has some level of interest in you.

Also, your statement about cold approaching not giving you confidence is a big lie, at least, as far as I'm concerned. My confidence towards women have greatly increased since I started cold approaching.

Before I started cold approaching, I was this shy guy who was always afraid to talk to ladies in many settings. In fact, while I was in school, I still remember ladies that gave me green lights who I failed to approach because I was too shy and lack the confidence to woo them.

If I get those green lights now, I won't hesitate to approach, woo the lady, and then escalate.

I'm no longer shy. In fact, I've been able to seduce some ladies with my confidence by merely looking straight into their eyes without talking. 2 years ago, I can't do such. I will just look away or sideway to avoid eye contact.

Nowadays, when I look ladies in the eyes, many of them return the favour by looking at me while also smiling. Some have even tried to get closer to me afterward even though I didn't woo them.

If you are against cold approaching, you are unconsciously supporting the feminine imperative to give the power to choose to females.

What then happens when you can't choose: you will likely settle for less.

So, keep waiting for green lights and don't make any effort to have the power to choose. That's your choice. I'm not against that. To each man is own.

For me, I will continue to cold approach ladies I consider worth my time. I too want the power to choose any woman I want. It's not only females that deserve that power.

I can confidently say it that most of the guys saying here that they will only wait for green lights are JUST TOO AFRAID OF GETTING REJECTED. Stop lying to yourself.

If you as a guy decide to be cold approaching ladies, I will advice that you first read all of Rollo Tomassi's books as well as all of Alan Roger Currie's books. You will be better prepared for the challenge ahead of you.

#trp

Energy

What of us that are not giving to the users at all?.

Ketapu:
Have you ever heard about Briffault Law? If you understand that law, you will understand that females will only give you green lights after they must have established that there is something (tangible or intangible) to gain from you.

With this your post, you just confirmed what I've always believed, which is that it is far better to learn red pills from books than to gain the knowledge from one person on forums like this.

I've learned far more about red pill from books than I learned on this forum or even YouTube videos.

The two people who have influenced my red pill journey the most are Rollo Tomassi and Alan Roger Currie. In fact, most of my posts are based on what I learned from these two individuals.

I'm one of the biggest fan of cold-approaching on this thread AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE A FAN OF COLD-APPROACHING.

I've agreed with many of your teachings in the past but on this one, I will completely disagree. You can't convince me otherwise. In fact, you guys are making me to see green light is a new way.

I don't know the red pillers you have stated in your comment, but I'm curious on why you have excluded Rollo Tomassi, one of the 3 god-fathers of the red pill community.

Rollo Tomassi definitely supports cold approaching in his first book. Rollo is one of the most respected men in the red pill community.

In his first book, The Rational Male, (I've read it from the beginning to the end 3 TIMES), he clearly stated that THE FEAR OF REJECTION BY FEMALES IS THE CAUSE OF MORE THAN 90% OF THE PROBLEMS WE GUYS FACE WITH FEMALES.

To confirm my claim, go to page 52 of his first Rational Male book. He discussed buffers and stated that fear of rejections is what men settle for buffers.

He stated that many guys are afraid to woo ladies because they fear being rejected. It is this fear of rejection that is making many guys settle for the following buffers:

a. Long distance relationship when it is clear the lady has already moved on. The guy is just afraid to woo ladies and start another relationship. So, he continue to condone a lady that no longer cares for him.

b. Suffer from oneitis and scarcity mentality: The guy is just too afraid to get rejected by other ladies. So, he sticks with the one lady that has ever given him what you guys called green light.

c. Masturbation. A guy that has 2 or more ladies he is romantic with will hardly ever have time to masturbate. He has enough more than enough pusssy. All he needs to do is just call one of them. He doesn't need to waste his time masturbating.

d. Online dating: the guy is afraid to approach ladies offline. So, he settled for online dating where he can hide from getting rejected.

e. Pornography: why would you be watching porn if you have plates that can do it all with you? The time you spend watching porn videos and pictures, why don't you use that time to go and woo pretty ladies around you and start getting real life porn in your room?

Rollo Tomassi mentioned other buffers too which have their root cause in the fear if getting rejected.

He also said that it is better to get rejected than to regret not making a move.

Also, I once watched a YouTube video where the creator stated that the fear of rejections was what gave birth to another section of the manosphere called Incels.

After Incels woo probably 1 to 5 ladies and all of them rejected him, these guys then give up on wooing ladies and started crying that no woman love them, so they are now "involuntary celibate(Incel)."

But the reality is that the Chads and Tyrones that get many ladies as plates have also been rejected by many ladies, some even in hundreds and thousands.

So tell me, if you woo hundreds to probably thousands of ladies, how would you not have at least 2 quality women at any time who you will be romantic with and who will greatly improve your life?

I don't support the teachings of PUA. I've only read one PUA book which is "The Game by Neil Strauss." The book is regarded by many as one of the most influential PUA books.

I learned some stuffs about women in the book but one thing is very clear in the book: PUA focus on manipulating women just to get into their pants. I will never support that.

If I like you as a lady, I will let you know as soon as possible, usually the first time I woo you. If the lady likes me, all well and good. We can continue the relationship. If she says she's not interested, I will leave her alone. There is no need to manipulate her to like me. There are too many ladies around for me to waste my time manipulating a lady.

I remember that towards the end of the Rational Male book, Rollo Tomassi wrote that the teachings of PUA is like giving little children explosive dynamite. The dynamite can damage the children if they don't know how to handle it well. Surely, PUA will help you get many women to have sex with you but it will not help you separate or distinguish the good women from the bad ones. You just have sex with them all. I don't support that.

On the other hand, Red Pill teaches you how to separate the good women from the bad ones. Even if you woo hundreds to thousands of ladies, you will be handle to quickly identify ladies that are trying to manipulate you or cause you headache. You will cut such ladies off your life as soon as you start seeing the signs. I think I have shared some of my experiences with manipulative ladies. None of those ladies is with me as of today. I've blocked them all out of my life. I did that thanks to red pill.

I'm also a big fan of Alan Roger Currie. He is completely against the teachings of PUA. He encourages guy to approach ladies that they find attractive and BE 100% HONEST WITH THEM about what you want from them even from your very first conversation.

This is what I've been doing. I've met at least ladies who shared similar interests with me when I told them my mind within 5 minutes of us talking. These ladies just agreed with me and followed up on our agreements. Also, they didn't give me any green light before I approached them.

I've come to realize that most of the problems we guys faced with women is because many guys are just too dishonest. Women know this and they use that to their advantage.

Another reason I support cold approaching is because one of the feminine imperative that has become so embedded in our society. Rollo Tomassi stated this feminine imperative in his book.

Rollo stated that the society want women to always have the power to choose the men they want. They don't want men to have the power to choose women on their own.

This feminine imperative want women to have the ability to choose the most valuable man she can get. They want you as a guy to disqualify yourself from choosing a woman.

That is why when you see a beautiful lady, instead of wooing her, you will start thinking things like: I'm not dressed well, I don't have money, I'm not rich, I'm not handsome, and I'm not this and that.

That is the feminine imperative working in you. As a guy, you shouldn't concern yourself with those excuses. Just approach and see what happens.
Even if the lady rejects you, she will never forget you as the guy who had the confidence to approach and woo her. Many guys before you had failed in that regard.

According to Rollo Tomassi, "a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of abundance mindset – confidence is derived from options."

So, how can you have many options if you are only waiting for green lights?

Those of you supporting waiting for green lights are unconsciously supporting the feminine imperative I stated above. You let a woman choose you while you relegate your own power to choose from the pool of women around you.

You will completely destroy that feminine imperative when you cold approach ladies you find that meet your criteria for the ladies you want to be with.

For example, women know many guys are intimidated by beautiful women. You wish to talk to her but you then overthink about talking to her. You rationalize that you are poor, you don't dress well, you don't have a car, and other bullshit excuses. After some times, you decided not to approach her.

Wooolah! The feminine imperative won again!

What you just did is to let the lady not choose you even if the beautiful lady has some level of interest in you.

Also, your statement about cold approaching not giving you confidence is a big lie, at least, as far as I'm concerned. My confidence towards women have greatly increased since I started cold approaching.

Before I started cold approaching, I was this shy guy who was always afraid to talk to ladies in many settings. In fact, while I was in school, I still remember ladies that gave me green lights who I failed to approach because I was too shy and lack the confidence to woo them.

If I get those green lights now, I won't hesitate to approach, woo the lady, and then escalate.

I'm no longer shy. In fact, I've been able to seduce some ladies with my confidence by merely looking straight into their eyes without talking. 2 years ago, I can't do such. I will just look away or side way to avoid eye contact.

Nowadays, when I look ladies in the eyes, many of them return the favour by looking at me while also smiling. Some have even tried to get closer to me afterward even though I didn't woo them.

If you are against cold approaching, you are unconsciously supporting the feminine imperative to give the power to choose to females.

What then happens when you can't choose: you will likely settle for less.

So, keep waiting for green lights and don't make any effort to have the power to choose. That's your choice. I'm not against that. To each man is own.

For me, I will continue to cold approach ladies I consider worth my time. I too want the power to choose any woman I want. It's not only females that deserve that power.

I can confidently say it that most of the guys saying here that they will only wait for green lights are JUST AFRAID OF GETTING REJECTED. Stop lying to yourself.

If you as a guy decide to be cold approaching ladies, I will advice that you first read all of Rollo Tomassi's books as well as all of Alan Roger Currie's books. You will be better prepared for the challenge ahead of you.

Common sense.

heartofcity12:
Ohh some men still pay salary to their gfs. The entitlement and disrespect is out of this world. Lol

On top my 20k, this one go dey feel entitled and call it 'little or paltry'

Na guys dey make these girls act snobbish na...why pay her monthly salary when her parents never die....

Paygram:

Okay. What I don't understand right now is that, for every approach to any lady is cold approaching? What if you're going somewhere and you can't find your way, and all you have to do is to approach a lady coming down the road, is that cold approach too?

Ubunja has stated the facts believe it or not.

No, sit for your table with the mentality that very approach to a lady is cold approach.

I don't really understand his party scenario. I have been to a lot of parties myself. Socialising with people in a party isn't necessarily cold approach (as used in the red pill/game sphere); every interaction with a female or male in a party isn't necessarily cold approach. Even establishing contact and building up connection isn't cold approach (in the red pill/game sense); I do this all the time. Let's not conflate all sorts of socialising with cold approach. I don't need to cold approach the ladies in a party before I have fun... jeez Also, I have had fun in a party without saying a word to certain strange faces, male and female.

Party is all about fun, to me. Maybe it's the kind of parties I attend. You don't need to cold approach ladies in the party to have fun, neither must you go to a party with the intention of cold approaching ladies. If all the ladies in a party that you attend (with your guys) refuse to talk you or give you the light of day, will it ruin your fun or imply that you can't have fun?

I would like to use this introvert/ extrovert analogy to point out something about this hot and cold approach argument.

The extroverted personality is outgoing. They approach people for the fun of it and their energy level increases this way. While for an introvert, it is time consuming and it burns their social energy.

It is logical to say that an extrovert has more friends than an introvert but an introvert has more loyal and quality friends.
An extrovert approaches. An introvert waits to be approached.

So what is the best personality? Both. It is your ability to use both when it is needed that makes you more potent.
So in essense I'm saying cold and hot approach works but each has their pros and cons.
Learn how to use both to maximize your mating strategy.

luminouz:


On top my 20k, this one go dey feel entitled and call it 'little or paltry'

Na guys dey make these girls act snobbish na...why pay her monthly salary when her parents never die....

Some guys no just get brain at all. I’m happy they always learn the hard way because girls never fail to teach them.

Martinez39s:
I don't really understand his party scenario. I have been to a lot of parties myself. Socialising with people in a party isn't necessarily cold approach (as used in the red pill/game sphere); every interaction with a female or male in a party isn't necessarily cold approach. Even establishing contact and building up connection isn't cold approach (in the red pill/game sense); I do this all the time. Let's not conflate all sorts of socialising with cold approach. I don't need to cold approach the ladies in a party before I have fun... jeez Also, I have had fun in a party without saying a word to certain strange faces, male and female.

Party is all about fun, to me. Maybe it's the kind of parties I attend. You don't need to cold approach ladies in the party to have fun, neither must you go to a party with the intention of cold approaching ladies. If all the ladies in a party that you attend (with your guys) refuse to talk you or give you the light of day, will it ruin your fun or imply that you can't have fun?

I think the confusion in this discussion so far comes from the meaning of the phrase "cold approach." Outside the red pill/game sphere, the term "cold approach" is broad and in this sense, a man can cold approach a man or a woman with no romantic or sexual intentions. Most people outside the red pill/game sphere don't even use the phrase "cold approach"; it's mainly in the red pill/game sphere that you see this phrase.

Since the discussion festers even though people have agreed to disagree, I might add my honest contribution soon if I am in the mood, maybe.

Tonnyray:
See where the confusion is? My last relationship is almost 4 years ago. If I want a relationship that's when what these sermons by "redpillers" will apply to me. Mating calls and green lights in my everyday sphere of operation are the norm, but all I want are fvck buddies. So I don't complicate my life by responding to mating calls of neighbors or colleagues at work. I have a separate phone and truecaller ID exclusively for fvckmates and potential fvckmates. It's a totally parallel life. And a fvckmate that wants to "graduate" to gf status gets eliminated ASAP.
When I'm done with this "hoeing" phase of mine, then I'll look the way of my "perfect" spec in church maybe.
This sh!t is simpler than what people are actually making it out to be.

Hahahahahaha. I no fit laugh abeg.
The girls for church and the ones for club na the same thing, na only cloth them change.
Wetin my eyes dun see for Choir, Ushering unit, and other Church worker's department eh, no be wetin mouth fit talk.

ElasmoBranchii:
So what is the best personality? Both. It is your ability to use both when it is needed that makes you more potent.
So in essence I saying cold and hot approach works but each has their pros and cons.
Learn how to use both to maximize your mating strategy.

I'm glad people capable of logical thought are gradually arriving on the scene. Let me buttress what you said using myself. I'm an introvert, but at some point in my life I realized the fun (extroverted 40%) part of me was rotting away unutilized. Now I'm 100% able to blend both. The me right now in the office is a far cry from the me with the chick I met on Saturday morning while jogging that I'm going on a date with later this evening. I've seen many ladies' jaws drop when they see me displaying at the club cos they just cannot marry the two guys.
It's all about FUN people.
Learn to relax and enjoy.
This life is too short.

ExtremeDot:
Hahahahahaha. I no fit laugh abeg.
The girls for church and the ones for club na the same thing, na only cloth them change.
Wetin my eyes dun see for Choir, Ushering unit, and other Church worker's department eh, no be wetin mouth fit talk.

You missed the sarcasm obviously.
The post wasn't meant to paint "church" girls in good light.

You already know their nature, it’s expected. Maintain frame.

#trp. Pass her shit testings with flying colors.

Your purpose first #trp

heartofcity12:
#trp. Pass her shit testings with flying colors.

One of the worst things you can do in a relationship/marriage is to be all talk and no action, or setting boundaries and failing to enforce them when she defies your boundaries. It is detrimental.

Martinez39s:
One of the worst things you can do in a relationship/marriage is to be all talk and no action, or setting boundaries and failing to enforce them when she defies your boundaries. It is detrimental.

Exactly. It’s sad some men get it wrong in the name of “trying to let peace reign”. This is how they lose their masculine frame and get stepped on till it all collapses.

Naah, females are never accountable. #trp

Words on a map. #redpill

Someone fvckin your woman isn’t the issue, her letting him fvck is. Toss her away immediately, she belongs to the street.

Redpill

Tonnyray:
I'm glad people capable of logical thought are gradually arriving on the scene. Let me buttress what you said using myself. I'm an introvert, but at some point in my life I realized the fun (extroverted 40%) part of me was rotting away unutilized. Now I'm 100% able to blend both. The me right now in the office is a far cry from the me with the chick I met on Saturday morning while jogging that I'm going on a date with later this evening. I've seen many ladies' jaws drop when they see me displaying at the club cos they just cannot marry the two guys.
It's all about FUN people.
Learn to relax and enjoy.
This life is too short.

This is rubbish

Life is too short doesn't mean you should have fun.

Live your life anyhow you want and try to live another person's fun life.

In the end both you and that fun person will die and your brains will rot... All the fun you had, you will never remember them...

Take life very seriously because that's how to succeed

Stay sharp #trp

Detach yourself from the herd bluepill mentality society has brainwashed us with. #redpill

Tonnyray:
Like I once said, once anybody's version of the redpill conflicts with common sense, kindly stay with common sense.
E get why.

Redpill is an uncommon sense mate. Most things you will later get to digest aren't gonna be comfortable but diluting the redpill with blue isn't what we do here.

If you know you know. How can anyone else be more disciplined, focused on his grind and value himself.

Tough world

Tough world for men

heartofcity12:
If you know you know. How can anyone else be more disciplined, focused on his grind and value himself.

I've been thinking about this recently.It seems The Red Pill is focused on women.I have not joined the movement yet because I'm not yet ready for entanglement with women yet.

Can someone enlighten me?