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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband (56776 Views)
About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. / I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible / Time To Divorce My Wife? (2) (3) (4)
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I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 4:29am On Mar 03, 2022 |
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him. As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling. We got married last year Nov. We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all. On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it. January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again. I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest. We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me. The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability. Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant. All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me. What do I do? Pls, advise me. 85 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by aikyg(m): 4:43am On Mar 03, 2022 |
How you didn't notice this while you were dating is a big question. Divorcing him may not be an easy decision, as you have a baby coming. Since he doesn't physically abuse you, I'll suggest you both go for counseling 678 Likes 41 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Arkmanbuddy(m): 4:43am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Let the elders come through... 15 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by chukwuibuipob: 4:47am On Mar 03, 2022 |
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Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by harqinhola(m): 4:48am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Sister , i personally understand how frustrating it feels to have a partner that doesn't work towards the collective goal of achieving a set plan . Especially being the Man, the frustration is second to nothing. However, i don't believe divorce should be an easy option in marriage . CONVERSATION SHOULD BE ESTABLISHED AND MEASURES TO ASSIST HIM UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS OF HIS ACTIONS AND THE CONSEQUENCES of this actions ON THE UNION SHOULD BE EXPLAINED to him . In addition , it is your responsibilty to stand by him in assisting him overcome this devilish ADDICTION! that's why you are his partner . Love your husband , stand by him ! this would increase his love for you and both of you will have a happy home . Good luck . 239 Likes 16 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Aufbauh(m): 4:53am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage. Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba! If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly? He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently. Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling. 529 Likes 28 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Timoleon(m): 4:55am On Mar 03, 2022 |
There are two things involved 1. Didn’t you notice the gambling before you got married? If you did, I hardly have empathy for you as you should have known better to not marry him. 2. Considering all of the target set by the both of you, (this is if he wasn’t gambling before you got married) he probably started gambling in hopes that he can make you happy with enough money, in hopes that the winnings will be used to meet up your expectations (your writeup portrays that kind of picture that the expectations are yours although positively, you did mention you were contributing as much as 50% especially towards getting a better apartment). What to do if no. 2 is your case; call your husband and have a heart talk with him. Your first concern now should be getting him off gambling and not the new apartment or a divorce. Assure him that his sanity is important to you. If he feels pressured to make so much money within a short period, you are sorry. The new apartment can wait. He should work normal as a responsible adult and God will bless the labour of his hands. Assure him that as much as you need money, you’ll never enjoy money he gets from gambling but rather you’d appreciate money he gets from a proper work. You also mentioned investing the remainder of your funds after getting a new apartment. I don’t know your present living condition but since your 300k is close to being complete, I implore you to invest it and guard the proceeds carefully until you’ve been able to steer your husband clear of gambling. Your sanity is also important and I understand your frustration but you mustn’t give up before you try. May you find wisdom to help your husband and your family. Shalom! 265 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Felimax(m): 4:56am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Don't divorce him. Work on him please. Any small thing divorce, now you are pregnant, you have a baby and you are here shouting divorce so that when you raise your children alone the society will add their own to help you make them to be useless. Never underestimate the presence of a father in the house, Never! Keep your mouth shut and talk to your God. For every spouse we are married to there is a cross to carry and the only one who can make it lighter for you is God. 149 Likes 15 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Romanoff(f): 5:02am On Mar 03, 2022 |
aikyg: There is no way she would have noticed it, especially if he's an online gambler. Shey y'all like your privacy and say your partner shouldn't check your phone? That's why she wouldn't have known. How would she have been able to track his finances when y'all get defensive when a woman ask y'all money questions? I'd suggest counselling for both of them, if he's willing to do the work, the marriage can be salvaged. 103 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Boogyman557: 5:04am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Holly Gram ![]() LITE UP my WEED in peace WTF MAN! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Ahmed0336(m): 5:20am On Mar 03, 2022 |
harqinhola:Op Work try this and see. 2 Likes |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by matrix199(m): 5:23am On Mar 03, 2022 |
It's obvious you've not seen the movie 'Acrimony' by Tyler Perry. Everyone has his demon(addition). Some demons are soft, some are destructive. Now you don't chicken out on a partner, especially one with a challenge. You help him fight his demon. Talk to him about it. Make him agree to let you keep 80% of his earning every month. By the way, were you thinking you'd find someone better? Well it doesn't always work that way. Rather than divorce him to find someone better, only to find someone either addicted to something or someone worse, you can work on him to make him the better man you crave. Admonition from an elder. 51 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Coly2012(m): 5:44am On Mar 03, 2022 |
To early to start thinking of divorce now just after 3 months, it shows he is better than you, your first mission should be helping him to change and changing his orientation about money and saving, nobody is complete in marriage we just need to ajust and readjust to suit each other. Divorce should not and never be on the table when matters like this pop up,start learning to accommodate, encourage and work on your man to be what you want him to be.... Ask you Mama even your papa never still complete till today. loosingfaith519: 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 5:44am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Is GAMBLING his only problem? IF it's so then, there are medications you can put in his drink or pap to enable him desist from such without his notice. I don't know if they are available in Nigeria. We also have the ones for Alcohol addiction. 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by baby124: 5:46am On Mar 03, 2022 |
He can’t change. If you continue, just prepare to assume most responsibilities with him more than likely robbing you of the little you have. They will keep telling you to endure, he will use ego and probably violence to shut you up, while you wallow in poverty. I have seen this case like 3 times. The way people behave around money is so crucial in marriage. Some people are addicted to money. They get a high from getting money they did not work for, spending it lavishly and repeat. It’s best you let him as an adult decide if he wants to continue messing up his life or choosing his family. You need a lot of luck if you stay. 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Richy4(m): 5:46am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Anyone that says they should sit down and talk have never met an addict before...it's like pouring water in a basket..... ![]() 41 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nigga44: 5:48am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Divorcing cos of a trivia issue like this? ![]() Your husband probably loves you and hopes to hit it big to make you happy......but you're too blind to see it. Unfortunately, he's addicted to the wrong thing. Why don't you work on him and steer him right? 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by matrix199(m): 5:48am On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest: Worst advice ever! I hope you're not a date rapist? 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Stenewiser: 5:57am On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:just November, I laugh marriage is not meant for all women, imagine the trash madam please move, you have a child's reasoning, at your age you can't handle a common problems. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by pyyxxaro: 5:57am On Mar 03, 2022 |
2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 6:14am On Mar 03, 2022 |
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass. You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity. When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life. Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin. Modified. I'm ashamed of all the men attacking me for saying the truth. Anyways I'm not surprised. The truth is always bitter and a hard pill to swallow. You want her to stay with a grown up man who lacks common sense to do the right thing just so she can answer married. What the heck do you men think you are? I blame the women that hold some of you in high esteem; making you feel like something when in fact all that is left of the male folk is nothing but a bunch of lazy leeches. My joy is that, there are still a few, and i mean, very few men who have sense. 50 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 6:25am On Mar 03, 2022 |
matrix199:You just exposed your Ignorance. But it's expected. U can't know more than what u know now except you expose urself to more knowledge. You have to ThankGod for Nairaland, else what will someone like me have in common with you. Our paths wouldn't have ever crossed. I will advice someone like you to stayput on Nairaland and benefit from the enormous knowledge we deposit here. When people like you were asked to go to school and study what others had researched, you resorted to prayer houses. Now it's showing! Wake Up. All I needed was your submission to learn newer things you have never been exposed to. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 6:28am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Sometimes it ponders my heart how a grown up woman will sit-down and be working for the devil and not for a man she see and feel. You have this thought while in a marriage and you ran here to seek for advise on divorce. Well if you have choose this part and be rest assured that the baby you carry is not someone else own, please pack your load and leave that young man to chase for his future. I have seen whites that win big with little money. Their are people that gamble all way to casino lifestyles. If divorce is a western lifestyle then gambling its. God forsaken Woman... 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by matrix199(m): 6:31am On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest: You are after all. |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by HarunaWest(m): 6:42am On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:Please do make one last effort. Reach out to his parents or guardian. Implore them to talk to him. If he refuses, kindly pack your slippers and bag move on. I have realized that gamblers are the most terrible people you can find. I know someone that left an 8yr old marriage with 3 kids due to this same gambling. The man almost gambled his wife away. He put her into serious debt running into millions. Many people will advise you to pray, to be patient and all that buh open your head and think about yourself first. Cheers 22 Likes |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Agbecassava: 6:43am On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest:My Oga abeg sir |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by matrix199(m): 6:44am On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest: If your em you know, laced the drink or pap of your em you know, without his notice, and he found out, you think you would have been born?! Now boy, you don't lace someone's food or drink or 'pap' without his notice. That's poisoning. You just won the id**t of the year award. 5 Likes |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 6:44am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:My thought too. Thanks 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by HarunaWest(m): 6:45am On Mar 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:The man when do you this thing,e no go better for am. See bitterness all over your post. Wetin man do you? 50 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Nobody: 6:49am On Mar 03, 2022 |
matrix199:What's the definition of poison? So If someone prepares an Intercontinental dish without your knowledge of its ingredients and you eat such to your satisfaction, that's a Poison. Definitions are standardized and acceptable across the world. Pls. check the dictionary meaning. U have right to insult me. When people meet ONLINE insults are entertained but dat may not be the case in reality. You should be grateful to Nairaland for creating such a platform where professionals, scholars, knowledge seekers, the Ignorant & Fools can meet and exchange views, ideas & knowledge. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Agbecassava: 6:52am On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest: My Oga abeg |
Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by harqinhola(m): 7:01am On Mar 03, 2022 |
HarunaWest: HER BITTERNESS NA PRO MAX ![]() 10 Likes |
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