loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

U never Chee Chomtin. Marriage is not for the faint minded. God does not want us to divorce but for the sake of our wickedness and unforgiving spirit, he approved it. Marriage is for better for worse. If our moms acted the way ur about to act now, alot won't know their dads. Alot won't know how to live under a man.
Solution is not to divorce him but to wake him up as early as 4am and speak sense into his medula oblongata.

I come in peace!!!

Whoever sold the idea of divorce to you is horrible and doesn't mean well for you in life because from your right up you never mentioned that your hubby abused you and what makes you think the divorce will be an easy escape route?.
Fast track, your hubby's crime here is by engaging in online gambling which he thinks could have been a better option to increase his financial income earns winning for the betterment of the family but that route has been proven otherwise. My dear, you need to have one on one conversation with him and let him see the reasons why he should stop betting or better still reach out to a counsellor too and I believe everything will bounce back to normal

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts finding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year on Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goals. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money was wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, when I sum it up with mine, we can have over 600k. Get decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude toward money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

OP, you ain't ready for marriage

Whoever sold the idea of divorce to you is horrible and doesn't mean well for you in life because from your right up you never mentioned that your hubby abused you and what makes you think the divorce will be an easy escape route?.
Fast track, your hubby's crime here is by engaging in online gambling which he thinks could have been a better option to increase his financial income earns via winning for the betterment of the family but that route has been proven otherwise. My dear, you need to have one on one conversation with him and let him see the reasons why he should stop betting or better still reach out to a counsellor too and I believe everything will bounce back to normal

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts finding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year on Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goals. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money was wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, when I sum it up with mine, we can have over 600k. Get decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude toward money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Some men can really be stupid. A full grown man with a new wife, rather than taking the lead and being the head, he is busy engaging in nonsensical and childish means, looking for when the poor wife would act and he would start saying stuff

I am just wondering how the wife didn't note all these prior to marriage but one must understand how some saintly people in Nigeria avoid living together prior to marriage for religious reasons

Some are also products of match makings with the marriage handled by family members

Regardless this man need to man up, lead his family and get a grip. He is right now on a destructive highway and needs urgent help

Behaving like a child has a cost

loosingfaith519:
You see: very annoying lifestyle. How can a man not think of multipling the little he has, Rather, squandering it and returning home empty handed? I will definitely live him.

No one is holding you. Leave him and goan marry Putin

This is a true story:

One of our customer's wife got fed up with his Bet9ja (football bet) habit and just like you, was having 'funny' thoughts.

One day, he brought home a nice Lexus jeep and handed over the key to her, she was surprised and questioned where he got the money from, but he just cooked up a story. They also started a very lucrative business.

Three months later, he decided to open up to her and narrated how that same football bet fetched him millions of naira and how it changed their lives forever.

We do not support gambling, but come to think of it, anything that is not 100% sure and you make an attempt at, is called what? As long as it is a game of chance, it is called what?

aikyg:
How you didn't notice this while you were dating is a big question. Divorcing him may not be an easy decision, since you have a baby coming. Since he doesn't physical abuse you, I'll suggest you both go for counseling

They just get married for the sake of it only to complain later...They should bother seek for counseling like you said and pls O.p should not stop showing love and support. I hope he will change for good and if he doesn't and not willing to you can go ahead for divorce...your happiness is paramount.

This one nah Olosho. Just after four months, you want divorce, go nah, go back to the streets where you belong. As for gambler husband, if he doesn't stop, then Russian gods of Ogun and Esu Odara will strike him.

nonstan:


Hi Dear, I feel your pain but don’t take the easy route of running away from your problem, I won’t blame you for not noticing during courtship, love is blind. But what’s the guarantee that the next person won’t have another issue or maybe a womanizer.

Stop running away, get him help by means of counseling and also let him have another addiction like online studies or something.

Lastly, move out of that estate because he needs a change of environment and that will help him loose some negative friends.

My point here is for you to not just give up because of small issue.. it means you can’t deal with marriage

Since three weeks now, he stopped going to church with me because I told our pastor who counseled him. He boldly apologized and promise to let me handle his money. But trust me, he didn't change abite. He's stressing me

Made up stories for nairaland traffic.

Mercychen:


You're welcome.



How is my comment sounding bitter? O... Now because it's a man, you're trying to hold brief for him, right? Stop being insensitive.

What about the OPs experience with the so called husband? Is it not more bitter?
Can't you see what he's doing to her? A pregnant woman for that matter?. You people should learn to say the truth no matter how bitter.

A man who is not considerate enough to help his pregnant wife doesn't deserve any better. When he doesn't see anyone to cover his shameful acts anymore, sense will fall on him but as long as she's still there carrying his burden and financial responsibilities, he'll never get his acts together.

It's this kind of mentality you have that, any woman who speaks up against a man's incompetence is "bitter" that is making some men refuse to change and lead a more responsible life.
That "if she can't clean my mess, then shes not a wife material" kinda mentality should be erased.
You men should learn to clean up your mess yourself. Ain't no body gat time to be babysitting a grown ass man.

Buzz off!

You're a bitter soul. Embrace it.

MALIGNANTGuest:
Is GAMBLING his only problem?

IF it's so then, there are medications you can put in his drink or pap to enable him desist from such without his notice. I don't know if they are available in Nigeria.
We also have the ones for Alcohol addiction.

You want him to murder or render her husband useless with your charm?

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

You didn't tell us what you do for a living or are you just an ordinary house wife ? Or ok I read you said you expect him to bring 300k so you sum it up with 600k for family upkeep and a decent accommodation, maybe man is trying to meet up with his responsibility maybe he needs more money and if you know your husband well you can tell him where to invest his money not on gambling, talk to him you didn't tell you us you have talked to him about these if possible invite a family member you know he respect to talk to him too but you seem to be distant from your husband it's a pity, go and do your work as a woman, marriage is not a bed of roses but you can make your home a safe heaven if you want to not looking for divorce so soon this shows you ain't prepared for marriage in the first place .

pmc01:


No one is holding you. Leave him and goan marry Putin

Because of gambling they are advising her to leave but they will get stucked to a cheat and abusive spouse as long as he wealthy.

Romanoff:


I'm telling you, it's possible for her to not have noticed.

Do you let your gf check your phone and do you tell her about all your financial transactions?

Yes i do but not all, esp when i have financial obligations to her

naija4life247:
This one nah Olosho. Just after four months, you want divorce, go nah, go back to the streets where you belong. As for gambler husband, if he doesn't stop, then Russian gods of Ogun and Esu Odara will strike him.

This comments is for your mother, sisters, girlfriends. You sound like a Gambler as well. Do you have any idea of my post before dishing out this ru.bbish?

I don't think the poster has revealed the actual reason she desires to divorce her husband of only a few months. The reason must be deeper than this.

Aufbauh:
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage.

Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba!
If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly?

He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently.
Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling.

It's not one year into the marriage, it's just four months, just about 120 fuccking days ooo. Maybe her mother is currently with her 6th husband, if not, I wonder where she got this madness from.

You mean funding a new app (buying shares?cowrise invest?,piggyvest? .so you are worried he is not blowing the money but instead investing for the future ..
You are the enemy here ,you have to leave him alone so make his life better .
You are a mumu woman.
Gentlemen if you marry a bad woman,you are finished ,if you.marry a bad and woman with insatiable taste, then you are completely finished.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

loosingfaith519:
This comments is for your mother, sisters, girlfriends. You sound like a Gambler as well. Do you have any idea of my post before dishing out this ru.bbish?

Go away. Leave the guy. He doesn't need a street walker like you.

Emperor88:

Because of gambling they are advising her to leave but they will get stucked to a cheat and abusive spouse as long as he wealthy.

In fact, the matter weak person.

She's probably 22 or something.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

divorce should be the last thing to consider here, first advise and talk to him, if he doesn't change then report him to one of the elders in his family who can speak well with him and also go for prayers because sometimes you can't take away the negative influence of village people on a man's life. These I think should be what you should embark on and not the devilish thought of divorce.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

I do not no how you guys met or how long you had met before going into marriage but there are few things I want to point out
1) it is too early to be talking about divorce
2) I had expected you to be talking of how to talk him out of his habit not seeking for divorce
3) this is just about 4months into your marriage, are you sure your husband didn't borrow some money for the marriage which he didn't tell you but secretly paying back the money? I know of someone who had to pay back marriage loan over a period of one yr plus but unlike your own case, the guy informed the lady the moment she entered his house
4) if he collect contribution of 200k, it is a signal that his salary is below 100k, that is too small to hide any expenses from a partner so you need to have a talk with him about his spending, tell him to open up if there is any debt and let him know the implication of any extravagant spendings
5) lastly, it seems obvious that you are not attached to this person, if this is not reaction from your being pregnant and the change that come with it, I think you need to work on your feelings for your partner

Thats the result of marrying who is ready and not who you love or date. she married who is ready so carry[/color][color=#006600][color=#006600][/color] ur cross on your own joorrr.

Ulunne777:
Ppl who said you shouldn't worry about it are wicked ppl.
What to do
1.Discuss with him .If he is willing to work on it,he should allow you to monitor his finances since you are the more prudent type.

If he doesn't .Pls have a plan B.Save save save and face front .After your baby ,pls Lee nkwucha.as in family planning.Don't allow pregnancy happen again that is if you choose to remain.

I have experienced it though mine is a cheerful giver.very cheerful but now I keep our money and only transfer to his account what we feel he needs.
If not you are on a long sorrowful journey.

.
R I am force to response to this message, if I get you right, you mean you transfer money to your hubby whenever he needs cash despite the fact that he’s the one working for his money, If this is true that mean your husband is a professional simp. This is disgusting no woman in this world will try such with me. Too bad. Though I don’t blame you majority of current Nigerian men are too weak.

This one never ready for marriage. Your husband is an investor.. You gerrit? If you don't gerrit,contact alabi

If you loved him and value your marriage you won't be talking of divorce so soon. That shit can be corrected ,if you stand by him.

Meaning ,if your husband fell sick ,along the line or God forbids he lost his job,you go run leave am? The man needs divorce you first ..You are not a good wife madam.. I no mean to insult you ...

Don't divorce.
You are the woman, the spiritual leader of the home.
You are the home maker.
God Almighty has given you that charge.
Stamp your feet to the ground and cast the devil out of your home!
Declare it and it shall be so.
You have a battle to win.
Don't give the devil as little as a fraction of an inch.
It is the devil that is deceiving your husband.
Don't let the same devil deceive you into thinking divorce was a solution.
Woman, you have a battle in your hands.
Prayer is the weapon.
Pray yourself and your home out of the deception of the evil one.
Be strong, be courageous.
Step out boldly and all the forces of God shall deliver victory to you.
If you run now, you will be running and stumbling for the rest of your life.
The choice is yours to make.
I am wishing you the very best of strength.

Phew, gambling is a serious problem, I think you should confront him about it, he will put the fam in more debts and problem, you have to be stern in your confrontation .

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Aufbauh:
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage.

Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba!
If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly?

He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently.
Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling.

God bless you...The same women that marry Yahoo boys, armed robbers, hoodlums, ritualist because they make money from it are complaining of gambling.

chukwuibuipob:
conFUSED pipu with their conFUSED Nollywood story.

Is it that you can't move on if you don't have something meaningful and helpful to say?
How did you arrive at the conclusion that it's a Nollywood story or you haven't heard about pple who are addicted to gambling?

People like you just troll everything you see online,why?

Someone is going through a serious dilemma and instead of you to help with meaningful contribution you're making it worse.

You lack common sense honestly.