Timoleon:
Chilled Heineken. But I’ll also take Budweiser

Quote me in a dead thread with ur account details

It is either you weren't matured for marriage or you are not in true love with him. It is quite obvious. Evading the shock from a nascent marriage is not achieved solely by divorce especially when physical and life threats are not involved.

Try to take cognisance of his background and intentions. May be he had won prizes before he married you and his passion and notion now about business is all about gambling. No addiction can be cured overnight.

The best way to let him out of this problem is by changing your countenance and approach to have a friendly outlook. Tell him that you want to be involved in that Gambling with a view to getting more info and many details he. might be hiding from you. First,work on his voracious approach to the very gambling; especially the funding, tactically and with a piece meal approach, you will be cruising toward success.

Golden rule: Avoid confrontations.

Madam try and make him to understand you first and your planed before taking any action on what you are preparing for please.

from ur comments, u've made up ur mind to go for divorce instead counseling. well what can I say? My earnest prayer for u is to divorce ur husband of 4 months and marry another with a different kind of addiction so u could also divorce him 4 months into the marriage. Amen

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Advice from a frustrated lady

mpire:
[s][/s]

Re.tard you wouldn't know what we rich people do, you ain't rich you will never be rich, you'll die gambling thinking one day you'll hit it big. You'll win $50 thinking that's money, then go back again following week hoping to repeat, same cycle until you turn 65yrs and you're hiding from your mates and they will be sending you $20 western union to feed. Pls continue, you're a poster child of failure.

Lol. Poor rat, i'm not asking you to use the food money your mom is giving you to bet. I'm talking about rich people who stake high on casino, horseracing, football, basketball, America soccer etc.. You're still dragging a cup of garri with your mother, so you can't understand.

Wetin bet9ja go cause ehn..
Virtually all male breadwinner of a family plays bet 9ja especially in Lagos...
Enter brt enter Keke enter danfo...you see them playing online.. infact office workers play more..they are so coded that you won't know except you catch them in the act...I understand..the hustle is real...even me ma sef I dey see at least 5k every week (for transport support and other few things) from bet9ja...
I like the way I Handle my bet plays...
I will never stake the amount wey go ruin me..
I bet responsibly and i mostly play live games...

loosingfaith519:
If I knew, he was a Gambler, the first day I met him and we exchange numbers, I would have blocked him.

I can't say I blame you for wanting to divorce him. Gambling is an addiction which is very difficult to quit

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

I know there was no Time to check before accepting this Man...you call Husband...

While some it worked for them...

But yours was different..

Sadly truth you have to saddle your canoe alone .

Talk to him ..about how you feel, just as you have explained to the World here..

Then try let him see reasons with you..

Teach him if you have too

But don't be rude..

jeff1607:


She would have known before marriage, it’s so easy to know one especially if they are dating, how can a lady marry a man who isn’t open with his expenses and his movement c’mon, plus his movement during weekends, they way he follows up on scores not actual matches, unless they didn’t court or he was spending unnecessarily and she did ask questions, a lady who is truly matured and concerned is usually worried about her man’s finances take for instance she notices his house is usually stocked with food stuffs by month end then suddenly either the pantry is empty or he’s buying half of what he usually buy she should know there’s something wrong somewhere.

There are so many pointers to know while dating hence some ladies when they see such traits they just break up with such a guy and he would say “the lady just ghosted him or walked away”

Exactly. But people are actually here claiming that "an addiction is the easiest thing to hide", just so they can act like she did her due diligence.
If a man complains that his girl/wife has an addiction now, you'll never hear that kind of trash talk. All blame will go to him for not noticing before marriage. This is what happens when people don't court properly.
That said, she may need to work on a separation (not yet a divorce). Only strong actions can make the man come to his senses now.
Talking will achieve nothing for an addicted gambler.

Story story, so u are asking us how to change from married to divorced single mother

Starz825:
Wetin bet9ja go cause ehn..
Virtually all male breadwinner of a family plays bet 9ja especially in Lagos...
Enter brt enter Keke enter danfo...you see them playing online.. infact office workers play more..they are so coded that you won't know except you catch them in the act...I understand..the hustle is real...even me ma sef I dey see at least 5k every week for transport support and other few things from bet9ja...
I like the Handle my bet plays...
I will never stake the amount wey go ruin me..
I bet responsibly and i mostly play live games...

Who told you that all male breadwinners play betNaija?

Please speak for yourself!

[s]

Putindbutt:

Lol. Poor rat, i'm not asking you to use the food money your mom is giving you to bet. I'm talking about rich people who stake high on casino, horseracing, football, basketball, America soccer etc.. You're still dragging a cup of garri with your mother, so you can't understand.

[/s]

Jerkoff, It's obvious you're frustrated in life, why are you so concerned with what we rich people do? I asked post a picture of your Nigeria passport with my moniker on it and I'll post my passport with your moniker on it. Re.tarded monkey, have you ever even been to ordinary Ghana, which casino have you been in your life? Oh you watched Ocean's 11, now that makes you so knowledgeable, Ignoramus bitch. We call it football, do you wanna explain that to me too? You wanna tell me how many times Mahomes didn't get out of the pocket at the AFC final? Do you even know what the hell that means? What's a line of scrimmage? What's an inning, what's base loaded? lol

Have you even ever seen or touched a horse in your life? Let me guess you live in Lagos or something or better yet Abuja? You're a broke ass, jobless i.diot saying what he has no clue about on NL, you should shut up. You probably don't even have a passport.

Ugwuoke347:





The woman is the spiritual leader of the home.
The home is not identical with the family.
The woman makes the home livable.
She makes the home a dwelling place for every member of the family.
She is the one who makes the home come alive.
She exercises spiritual (passive) authority over that place called home.

The home, the country, the nation, is always qualified as a woman.

The thoughts of the woman alone can quietly destroy or ennoble every form of life in the home including that of plants and animals.

The man is the head of the family.
He is the active ruler of that congregation that results from the coming together of man and woman.

The home is the headquarters of the family. The woman is its passive administrator.

The woman is firmly in charge of making the home a place where life is nourished for the family.

I won't say more.
What I have said has nothing to do with the Bible.
I also won't want to sound harsh on you for describing my submission as "heresy" because it upsets your knowledge of the Bible which you uphold as the only source of truth.
I will rather leave you with a few lines from the same Bible which you like to venerate as the sole source instruction:


"Better to live in the desert than with a contentious and ill-tempered wife."
(Proverbs 21:19)




"A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find! Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes. She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, and she always works hard. She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night. She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy. Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows. She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful. Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city. She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners. She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. She takes good care of her family and is never lazy. Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, “There are many good women, but you are the best!” Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the LORD deserves to be praised. Show her respect— praise her in public for what she has done."
(Proverbs 31:10-31)

Go figure out why these lines were put down in the good book.
Stay blessed always.

Loool at the man is the head of the family but the woman is the spiritual leader of the home.

Anyway since you have said the bolded no problem and no need to drag it further.

Hope you know the parts of the Bible you quoted here do not form part of this discussion I. E spiritual head.

Stay blessed too

Romanoff:


There is no way she would have noticed it, especially if he's an online gambler. Shey y'all like your privacy and say your partner shouldn't check your phone?

That's why she wouldn't have known.

How would she have been able to track his finances when y'all get defensive when a woman ask y'all money questions?

I'd suggest counselling for both of them, if he's willing to do the work, the marriage can be salvaged.

So how did she find out now

betshopagent:
Op, marriage was never meant for you.It's not a must 4 everyone to get married. You lack all d perquisite of marriage.You should be a Reverend sister,babymama or an ashaawo; its your calling.

I’m telling you.. her countenance says it all.

Semaj77:



So how did she find out now

Cause they are married and now accountable to each other.

baby124:
He can’t change. If you continue, just prepare to assume most responsibilities with him more than likely robbing you of the little you have. They will keep telling you to endure, he will use ego and probably violence to shut you up, while you wallow in poverty. I have seen this case like 3 times.

The way people behave around money is so crucial in marriage. Some people are addicted to money. They get a high from getting money they did not work for, spending it lavishly and repeat. It’s best you let him as an adult decide if he wants to continue messing up his life or choosing his family. You need a lot of luck if you stay.

I don't think you are married. By their fruits we shall know them . This type of advice is mostly given by slay queen, divorcee, single mothers and those ladies that couldn't get married to any man. They want others to be like them. Change your ways

Romanoff:


Is that not what most men want?

A woman who doesn't ask questions about their money and how they spend it. A woman who doesn't ask for their phone password or even go through their phone.

That right there is what most of you young men of these days want.

So she didn't do her due diligence for someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, because that's what "men of these days want"?
Comedy.
As he doesn't want to take his life seriously, she should also flow along with it nau.

Kobicove:


Who told you that all male breadwinners play betNaija?

Please speak for yourself!

I kukuma didn't say all...

And besides I no be breadwinner yet...
So
I don't judge ppl..
If you are getting it easy doesn't mean others are getting it easy..
And we handle pressure differently...
Some people that plays bet 9ja are not devil's...some do to support family some do for fun...

DrayZee:

So she didn't do her due diligence for someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, because that's what "men of these days want"?
Comedy.
As he doesn't want to take his life seriously, she should also flow along with it nau.

Everything wey person dey hide, marriage e dey show.

mpire:
[s][/s]

Jerkoff, It's obvious you're frustrated in life, why are you so concerned with what we rich people do? I asked post a picture of your Nigeria passport with my moniker on it and I'll post my passport with your moniker on it. Re.tarded monkey, have you ever even been to ordinary Ghana, which casino have you been in your life. Ignoramus bitch. We call it football, do you wanna explain that to me too? You wanna tell me how many times Mahomes didn't get out of the pocket the AFC finals? Do you even know what the hell that means? What's a line of scrimmage?lol

Have you even ever seen or touched a horse in your life? Let me guess you live in Lagos or something or better yet Abuja? You're a broke ass, jobless i.diot saying what he has no clue about on NL, you should shut up. You probably don't even have a passport.

Wonderful, so you understand a bit of high stake betting yet you claiming rich people don't gamble.
The moment you associate gambling with poor people, that's when i concluded that your generation are poor rats. Let me tell you something your poor father does not know, betting originally was rich men's sport before it was expanded and domesticated in the late 2000s to make it affordable for every one including your poor father to play it with his #500 salary. Hustle poor boy.

Nicepoker:
Says an unmarried E Newspaper. She should leave without notice so you can take her place right?

Take over her husband from where? As how?
Do I even know the OP in person?
How is that even going to be possible?

Can you hear how dumb you sound?

Receive sense.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

I feel your pain.
The truth is, it's not in your power to change him.
I understand why you want to live him.
He would bring you much more unhappiness in the future.
But then I would not give you divorce advice.

Craftmonkey19:


Ewu canada

your father Lokili Calabar

Aufbauh:
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage.

Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba!
If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly?

He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently.
Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling.

i have come to realise that this Niraland forum is full of sensible people bro God we bless you for this

Putindbutt:

Wonderful, so you understand a bit of high stake betting yet you claiming rich people don't gamble.
The moment you associate gambling with poor people, that's when i concluded that your generation are poor rats. Let me tell you something your poor father does not know, betting originally was rich men's sport before it was expanded and domesticated in the late 2000s to make it affordable for every one including your poor father to play it with his #500 salary. Hustle poor boy.

You're a living proof man can live without a brain, and when they do, the society shouldn't allow them to marry their sister and then give birth to another re.tarded, oxygen deficient cretin like you.

See this boy of a thousand fathers...lol. You're a pathetic no future, no hope, no family, you don't even have a girlfriend; I'm pretty sure you have less that 3,000 naira in your entire life. I asked you for your passport. Don't you have Passport office in Edo? I'll wait quickly get one and post it, oloriburuku omo ale, you'd better post your account so I can send you some $. Or do you wanna call that girl you were going to go meet at Christ Embassy cell group to come bail you out? You keep rambling and rambling about gambling lol. You see how re.tarded you are?
Please what did you win the last time you played? You don't even have a functioning kidney to put up on Ebay to sell, oh you're hoping to hit big by killing your girlfriend for ritual right but she left you...lol. You're an extension of your father's poverty, hopefully you won't procreate and that circle can ends with you.

Go back to the romance section kid or are you tired of jerking off to the thought of the girl that saw you have no future and left your broke ass? Here's your stupid topic on NL....Alakori

Romanoff:


So it's conditional.

Doesn't mean all men like it and encourage it.

Yes, but am saying the signs were there, for someone she claims to love and dated she must have noticed it, girls are too sensitive to money matters..... lets be sincere

MISSCONGENIALITY:
They will say you are bitter Even newspaper who probably wants to take her place.
Most people like to see others in pain that's why they come up with all kind of logic and excuses for the man. A give the woman hope to continue till she gets to a point of no return.

This forum is filled with sociopaths, narcissists and gaslighters.

I have also seen some women exhibit "Savior complex" . They feel it makes them better than the other woman who walked out of her marriage if she tries to save and fix him,afterall that's what virtuous women do. Suffer love according to popular opinion is the real love.



However ,I will still point it out that some people are better left to drown than to try helping them. Addiction is not a walk in the park that a woman should burden herself to fix in a man.


I sincerely wish the op goodluck.

Are you saying you're willing to run away at the first challenge you're encountering in your young marriage? Are you aware there will be several challenges you and your partner would face in your home?

I don't know how much you've tried to help him battle this addiction, but you should not give up on him. If you truly love him, you would want to fight for your family.

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Modified.

I'm ashamed of all the men attacking me for saying the truth. Anyways I'm not surprised. The truth is always bitter and a hard pill to swallow.

You want her to stay with a grown up man who lacks common sense to do the right thing just so she can answer married. What the heck do you men think you are?

I blame the women that hold some of you in high esteem; making you feel like something when in fact all that is left of the male folk is nothing but a bunch of lazy leeches.

My joy is that, there are still a few, and i mean, very few men who have sense.

YOUR BITTERNESS NA PRO MAX ..