mpire:



That's why you can't even use a simple HTML tag properly? Oponu, keep gambling.

OK, we'd do you a favor by responding to you again.

Read very well, we do not support gambling and stated this very clearly, now you know our position; we only told a true story.

....but your parents taught you good manners, especially when in a public space, what then is wrong with you?

loosingfaith519:
Not reasonable enough

Stop being silly. No one is holding you. Leave him and goan marry FFK

BrickDevo:

Yes, but am saying the signs were there, for someone she claims to love and dated she must have noticed it, girls are too sensitive to money matters..... lets be sincere

Trust me, she wouldn't have known.

A lot of ladies date and marry men and only know how much they earn.

Not how they spend it.

Ask some guys how they spend their salary and watch world war 4 happen.

They'll ask you if you woke out for their hand.

@OP
It's too early to think of divorce since you're not being abused. You didn't mention that so I assume you can still discuss with him without harbouring any fears. Let him know that he doesn't need huge funds to please you. Rather, he should manage what he has to yield good fruits. Teach him how to budget and plan his expenses. Remind him of future plans especially the children and a home of your own.

If that won't work, see a counsellor. That should be easy if you went through Church/Mosque counselling. Also trusted elders/mentors, preferably those who are not related to both of you.

mpire:



See this boy of a thousand fathers...lol. You're a pathetic no future, no hope, no family, you don't even have a girlfriend; I'm pretty sure you have less that 3,000 naira in your entire life. I asked you for your passport. Don't you have Passport office in Edo? I'll wait quickly get one and post it, oloriburuku omo ale, you'd better post your account so I can send you some $. Or do you wanna call that girl you were going to go meet at Christ Embassy cell group to come bail you out? You keep rambling and rambling about gambling lol. You see how re.tarded you are?
Please what did you win the last time you played? You don't even have a functioning kidney to put up on Ebay to sell, oh you're hoping to hit big by killing your girlfriend for ritual right but she left you...lol. You're an extension of your father's poverty, hopefully you won't procreate and that circle can ends with you.

Go back to the romance section kid or are you tired of jerking off to the thought of the girl that saw you have no future and left your broke ass? Here's your stupid topic on NL....Alakori

See how you're crying bitterly ontop my own money i use in betting. How much do i blast in club that i can't blast it on betting. Give your father the phone, let me talk poverty out of his life.

Nadeol:


OK, we'd do you a favor by responding to you again.

Read very well, we do not support gambling and stated this very clearly, now you know our position; we only told a true story.

....but your parents taught you good manners, especially when in a public space, what then is wrong with you?

It's obvious you were raised by animals, lots of them. I"m sure every elder in your family has died and you're the only surviving idiot? Are you always this fool.ish or this is a special day for you?

Divorce is not the first step here.

Try and talk things through with him. Talk to a priest or a pastor for prayers and counseling.

With love, present to him his bad habits and pray for him too.

I think all my suggestions will definitely make positive changes.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Ladycewhy:
This forum is filled with sociopaths, narcissists and gaslighters.

I have also seen some women exhibit "Savior complex" . They feel it makes them better than the other woman who walked out of her marriage if she tries to save and fix him,afterall that's what virtuous women do. Suffer love according to popular opinion is the real love.



However ,I will still point it out that some people are better left to drown than to try helping them. Addiction is not a walk in the park that a woman should burden herself to fix in a man.


I sincerely wish the op goodluck.

you are right my sister.
It's now left for the woman in question to decide for herself. Whether she can live her life in sorrow to please the society and a man who might never change or to stand up for herself and for her child and make life less stressful.
Life is already to hard to pick up another hard task when you can walk away and deal with lighter tasks.

Putindbutt:

See how you're crying bitterly ontop my own money i use in betting. How much do i blast in club that i can't blast it on betting. Give your father the phone, let me talk poverty out of his life.

Clubbing that's all you got? Do you even have electricity in that shithole? Can I see the balance of your bank account, oh wait Emily your Swedish girlfriend has sent you $100. You know she's only playing along pretending she doesn't know you're another yahoo yahoo idiot. LIsten clown, you will die lonely, frustrated and extremely broke. and we'll all be here to laugh at you when they post your obituary for taking your own life because of 3,000 naira debt. Hopefully that your ex girlfriend that saw you have no future and dropped your sorry stinking ass will bring her new husband to your funeral.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

You should at least try to help him get out of it first. How do you love somebody and at the slightest of excuses you bolt on the person? If you really love someone, you will at least try to help them get better before concluding it is not working. Haba! This generation na waa!

HarunaWest:
The man when do you this thing,e no go better for am. See bitterness all over your post. Wetin man do you?

Do you need to ask? From her write up you can tell men don do her shege very well or she definitely lacks a husband so she is trying to ruin married women home

betshopagent:
Op, marriage was never meant for you.It's not a must 4 everyone to get married. You lack all d perquisite of marriage.You should be a Reverend sister,babymama or an ashaawo; its your calling.

Birds of the same feather. Such a useless comments from a non thinking fellow.

Putindbutt:

See how you're crying bitterly ontop my own money i use in betting. How much do i blast in club that i can't blast it on betting. Give your father the phone, let me talk poverty out of his life.

So what happened to Deborah and Amara?
You mean you were so rich, Deborah ran away with your friend and Amara ran away with her boss?
So you are actually a cleaner at the club they figured out, you've even been fired....your village people are very strong. The poverty that killed your father, killed your mother will kill you too.

Keep jerking off to the memories of Deborah and Amaka, since that's the only job you have now. Smart girls dump your broke and lazy ass. Why would any girl in her right senses would ever wanna date a degenerate like you, talk-less of marrying. The mental hospital must have tested too many drugs on your father...my condolences.

HardMirror:
I wish I could talk to you privately but no need for that. ..

First dont let the many Idiots calling you names and saying nonsense bother you. Most nairalanders are teenagers pretending to be adults.

It is unfortunate you have made the mistake of getting married to a gambler. Note I AM A GAMBLER too and spend nothing less than 300k a month gambling. It is terrible. Sometimes I quit and things improve for me, but within a few months I find myself gambling again.vit is a terrible addiction. Your husband is in deep shit I can tell you and if he does not change soon, be ready to cater for a destitute.


Dont be fooled. Gambling will ruin him totally. I hope he recognizes this and he is honest about changing.

If he keeps lying to you and not showing any sign of changing. Better get real with yourself and divorce him, dont let emotions get the better of you.

Only stay with him if you see him making effort to change.

He should immediately hand money that comes in to you for projects you have planned together if he is honest about changing. This would at least help him control how much he loses to gambling. If he does not like this idea, trust me, he is not ready.

I am carrying my siblings and girlfriend along in my quest to stop gambling and my honestly with them is the only thing helping me cut my losses. An honest gambler seeking to change would not keep money by himself. If he cannot hand over the money he makes, he is not ready to change

Sad. Thanks.

mpire:


It's obvious you were raised by animals, lots of them. I"m sure every elder in your family has died and you're the only surviving idiot? Are you always this fool.ish or this is a special day for you?

What is wrong with you and why are you so bitter and angry?

We have not insulted you in any way, yet you have resorted to raining curses and hurling insults at us.

Read very well, we never insulted you; maybe you made an assumption that we did insult you, based on your interpretations of our posts.

Anyway, may God heal you. So sorry about whatever you are passing through.

loosingfaith519:
We dated. You can never know he's an addict. He does everything on his phone. And me, I don't look into other people's phone.
Something caught my attention recently and I decided to go through his phone.

God helps you. I can't blame you anyways. There are a lot of bad advice that camouflage ad good advice this days. One bad approach to dating I deduce from your reply now is that you intentionally ignored the contents of his phone. This is probably because you too wanted the content of your phone to be private. This is a bad approach to relationship. You have to try and know all their is to know snd all you can know before venturing into marriage. You don't hide things from each other, else you will actually be plunging into darkness blindfolded

Please don’t be too quick with the “D” word!!!
Take it to the lord in prayer, with all sincerity in your heart, trust me he’ll do something different!!! Remember you’re now a woman not a single lady anymore!!!! And an expectant mother for Godsake!!!!

Eluala:


You should at least try to help him get out of it first. How do you love somebody and at the slightest of excuses you bolt on the person? If you really love someone, you will at least try to help them get better before concluding it is not working. Haba! This generation na waa!

I agree totally with you, that loosingfaith should have some faith by talking seriously with him and his family, about his gambling habit.
After the discussions she should give 3 months maximum to start seeing changes.
If after 3 months, there are no changes. She should pack out to her own family home, or to an elder who can shield and take care of her.
From there, she can then decide on long term decisions.

Nadeol:


What is wrong with you and why are you so bitter and angry?

We have not insulted you in any way, yet you have resorted to raining curses and hurling insults at us.

Read very well, we never insulted you; maybe you made an assumption that we did insult you, based on your interpretations of our posts.

Anyway, may God heal you. So sorry about whatever you are passing through.

You must have dementia. Didn't you make the following statement? Oh I'm supposed to ignore your stupi.d rude comment? You make such statement when you don't have elders in your family, uncultured and ill mannered and it's obvious.

"....but your parents taught you good manners, especially when in a public space, what then is wrong with you?"

mpire:


You must have dementia. Didn't you make the following statement? Oh I'm supposed to ignore your stupi.d rude comment? You make such statement when you don't have elders in your family, uncultured and ill mannered and it's obvious.

"....but your parents taught you good manners, especially when in a public space, what then is wrong with you?"

Oh, so that was the statement that got you.

OK, apologies about that.

So, are we good now?

We all know you still got the mind to do what you wanna do. Trust me you are the only one whose going to change him, I can feel how pressured he is and needed to meet up as man but try and let him understand that it’s not the way. He will understand trust me. Your marriage is young and blessed.. Na gamble Em gamble e no carry Ashawo

Nadeol:


Oh, so that was the statement that got you.

OK, apologies about that.

So, are we good now?

Apologies accepted.

mpire:


Apologies accepted.

Thank you.

loosingfaith519:
Birds of the same feather. Such a useless comments from a non thinking fellow.

divorce peacefully. You are married to someone's husband.That's d truth, deal with it! And if you think my comment was useless; yours is imbecilic.'Nya nya mpo!' in mike ejeagha's voice.

Romanoff:


There is no way she would have noticed it, especially if he's an online gambler. Shey y'all like your privacy and say your partner shouldn't check your phone?

That's why she wouldn't have known.

How would she have been able to track his finances when y'all get defensive when a woman ask y'all money questions?

I'd suggest counselling for both of them, if he's willing to do the work, the marriage can be salvaged.

Just say you want to talk weytin dey pain you, hope you are relieved

Druggey:
from ur comments, u've made up ur mind to go for divorce instead counseling. well what can I say? My earnest prayer for u is to divorce ur husband of 4 months and marry another with a different kind of addiction so u could also divorce him 4 months into the marriage. Amen

Stupid praying from a Gambler. Shame on you

karkinase:

I’m telling you.. her countenance says it all.

What contenance chief Judge? If I come online and start begging for money to feed because my husband Gambles with our money, would you give me and not insult me?

If you don't plan for your life, your children and old age, you will beg and suffer.

Romanoff:


You are probably one of the few exceptions.

Nope , we many sis

mpire:



So what happened to Deborah and Amara?
You mean you were so rich, Deborah ran away with your friend and Amara ran away with her boss?
So you are actually a cleaner at the club they figured out, you've even been fired....your village people are very strong. The poverty that killed your father, killed your mother will kill you too.

Keep jerking off to the memories of Deborah and Amaka, since that's the only job you have now. Smart girls dump your broke and lazy ass. Why would any girl in her right senses would ever wanna date a degenerate like you, talk-less of marrying. The mental hospital must have tested too many drugs on your father...my condolences.

Boy, you still crying. Who told you women don't cheat on rich dudes?
It was your mother feeding your wretched father that was why he couldn't afford to chase away the bitch when she cheats on him.

jeff1607:


Nope , we many sis

Una no many as you think o.

Romanoff:


Una no many as you think o.

I think so o, the thing such guys don’t chase much and most are introverts tho I have seen quite an extroverted few

Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.

You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.

When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.

Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.

Modified.

I'm ashamed of all the men attacking me for saying the truth. Anyways I'm not surprised. The truth is always bitter and a hard pill to swallow.

You want her to stay with a grown up man who lacks common sense to do the right thing just so she can answer married. What the heck do you men think you are?

I blame the women that hold some of you in high esteem; making you feel like something when in fact all that is left of the male folk is nothing but a bunch of lazy leeches.

My joy is that, there are still a few, and i mean, very few men who have sense.

It is highly wrong of you to say this and I am sure if it is the other way round, you won't be saying this

Am disappointed in you