| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Olaideolayemi(m): 7:24pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
My thought too. Thanks This is a bad thought, marriage is an institution,where many problems, chanllenges arise, because he's a gambler now,you want to leave him.. It's very painful,You peoples doesn't like to face problem,all you want is sweet.. You better think we'll.. because to me is betrayer..when you do your marriage, you no say better or worst?Nawaa oooo.. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by twilliamx(m): 7:42pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
mpire:
79% of which men?  . Did you pull that data out of your ass? You mean 79% of you re.tarded no future, jobless clowns. Where did you get your Data Analyst degree from? Pretty sure it's from The University of Dumb.ass. No need responding to a senseless fellow obviously you are a kid. Kilomode mo |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by twilliamx(m): 7:46pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
I don't want to involve his mother. That woman is too fragile. I don't want things that break her the more and increase her BP Involve an older person that he respects. There is no perfect man out there. Mould the one you have to what you want. Please still give him a chance. When i got married my life was in shambles but today is a different story.. Be prayerful and encourage your husband with kind words. Its obvious you are smart so try and be the one in charge of the accounts and give him little for his miseleneous. I hope it works out for both of you |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Ndidi2: 7:48pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
I wish he could be opened like you. I would have gladly help him.
We always talked about this, he has promised severally to stop. When I mentioned it now, he would tell me not to take him back to his past, but he is still doing it. Even yesterday, he still Gambles. please dear I understand how you feel but try and stay strong till u give birth. If u truly love him try and see what u can do to help him get out of that shit again prayer works tell God what you want. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by TheMostComplex1: 7:55pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
MALIGNANTGuest:
You just exposed your Ignorance.
But it's expected.
U can't know more than what u know now except you expose urself to more knowledge.
You have to ThankGod for Nairaland, else what will someone like me have in common with you.
Our paths wouldn't have ever crossed.
I will advice someone like you to stayput on Nairaland and benefit from the enormous knowledge we deposit here.pl
When people like you were asked to go to school and study what others had researched, you resorted to prayer houses.
Now it's showing!
Wake Up.
All I needed was your submission to learn newer things you have never been exposed to. Hope you don't mind sharing |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Jacksparrow7(m): 7:55pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
And is Divorce the answer? Gambling is great. He is addicted. I gamble once in a while with 10 naira to win 55,000 naira. Two of you go for counseling. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Jacksparrow7(m): 8:00pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Twoclans:
The comments on this thread sha .hmmmmmmmmmmm.
OP may you not experience pregnancy induced high blood pressure .That is my prayer for you. if she does, she will do CS |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Gamesmart: 8:24pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Saig:
This is not God's grounds for divorce. It is only death and marital infidelity thank can permit divorce.
Why don't you sit him down and talk to him or you've done that and he refused to listen. Then take him to another person he respects and keep praying for him. That is better than divordivorce. Everything is not divorce. That God is definitely senseless then. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by sirp9898(m): 8:25pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Marriage is for good and bad sister.
During the good time you didn't seek public opinion
Now that is bad pray God to help you go throgh it untill it get back to the good time again |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by KidiBigDeal(m): 8:38pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
I tell people that love and affection in marriage/relationships is only about 20%.
The other 80% requires you to make good use of your head, that thing between your ears. But no you won’t.
You saw all the signs before marriage, but you won’t use them, like you people will say, “love covers all things”. You must continue to love him with his excesses till death. Your family cautioned you, but you said all my friends are getting married and why no you. You have to endure it. Till death do you part |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by AngelDove10(m): 8:40pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
God does not support divorce
Marriage is for better for worse
Keep praying for him |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Double0h7(f): 9:02pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Olaideolayemi:
This is a bad thought, marriage is an institution,where many problems, chanllenges arise, because he's a gambler now,you want to leave him.. It's very painful,You peoples doesn't like to face problem,all you want is sweet.. You better think we'll.. because to me is betrayer..when you do your marriage, you no say better or worst?Nawaa oooo.. Would you take your own advice if you were in the same predicament? Better and worse is through hardship that life throws at you and not hardship that your partner brings. People with addictions are very hard to help, by sticking around and supporting them you will actually be enabling them. She has to raise her child, work and bring home the money because her husband will not give her a dime, and on top of that struggle you want her to counsel, love, and respect someone who is breaking her heart and undermining her every effort?? Has marriage become a death sentence? Is it not meant to be sweet and to be enjoyed? People are only human beings and life is hard enough already without putting unreasonable demands on people. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Gamesmart: 9:23pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Toks2008:
You dont have to divorce him.
Just make sure you makr enough money to take care of yourself and make sure you have the number of kids you can cater for by yourself.
Shebbi nah gambling, you will surprised that some men have more terrible addictions.
Gambling can still bring in millions if he is fortunate, people make a living through gambling (i dont support it tho) but please its not worth a divorce. A man who wastes and squanders the money that should be used to take care of the household and raise the kids is of no value as a husband. The only circumstance that I would advise her to stay with him is if he agrees to have her control the access to all his income and then she gives him monthly pocket money. That is the only way to handle a gambling addict. Otherwise he is useless in her life! 3 Likes |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Gamesmart: 9:24pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
sirp9898:
Marriage is for good and bad sister.
During the good time you didn't seek public opinion
Now that is bad pray God to help you go throgh it untill it get back to the good time again You really need to start eating food rich in omega 3 oils. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Psittacus(m): 9:26pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Mercychen:
That is why they are always looking for a working class lady who can bring to the table so they can continue gambling and spending their own money recklessly. You better dump his ass.
You don't need to go through all that stress of divorcing him because that will drain you mentally and physically except you plan to remarry which is not advisable as most of them are the same. So, just secretly get a place for yourself and unborn child and leave him without warning, before you lose your sanity.
When he's ready to leave the singlehood lifestyle and become a responsible husband, he can come for his family. Otherwise, forget about him. Life is too sweet to let one person keep you in sorrow all the days of your life.
Marriage is overhypped, especially in this generation of overgrown babies in men's skin.
Modified.
I'm ashamed of all the men attacking me for saying the truth. Anyways I'm not surprised. The truth is always bitter and a hard pill to swallow.
You want her to stay with a grown up man who lacks common sense to do the right thing just so she can answer married. What the heck do you men think you are?
I blame the women that hold some of you in high esteem; making you feel like something when in fact all that is left of the male folk is nothing but a bunch of lazy leeches.
My joy is that, there are still a few, and i mean, very few men who have sense.
OP Don't listen to her ooo, seriously. If the only issue you have with your husband is gambling. Na small matter be that oo. We ve all tried a lot of things hoping they would be our big break, hoping na there we go hammer. You just need to sit him make him see reasons. There are lots of research around why gambling is never sustainable. You can check out the research by the Tokyo group. Where they did a steady permutations around making a sustainable income from betting. After few bets the betting groups limited their accounts and there was no regulators who dare speak up. Betting only favours the betting companies all the odds are stacked up against the consumers. Check out more reasons.. he should stop zazzoooing his hard earned funds. For this aunty above me, would you rather make a little sacrifice and live your life happily or would you rather just avoid every obstacles thrown out at you and just get by life. People just need to a little awakening to see things the way we do. . I know no say I no sabi English like that.. but the ball is in your court. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Kimiso(m): 9:28pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.
I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.
Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.
All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me. adeayo is that you,..and again is the habit known to you before getting married to him |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Putindbutt: 9:28pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
DrFunmisticGlow:
she is tired se.
Gambling is a very serious addiction.
I wish she could apply for annulment
Not any serious than physical abuse. Don't push her into promiscuity. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Putindbutt: 9:31pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
ModestGal:
I hope you see and read my message. Please, divorce the idiot and assume he's a sperm donor, if you want to endure,be sure you will end up with depression and other mental health issues.its not worth it. And don't listen to the fools in this thread, they are usually against women and ready to bash women at any opportunity. Most of them are teens, frustrated and broke dumbies. Also, for the sake of your sanity,do not post for advice on this forum anymore,they will make you hate yourself with their bashing comments. Remember they are broke and frustrated
Try to join Facebook groups, avoid Nigerian fb groups,most Nigerian women are dumb, look for international groups,join and seek for advice. Hello fool, you end up saying nothing. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by GloriousGbola: 9:50pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Acidosis:
I was going to ask the usual question here "why didn't you do your due diligence". But then I have discovered that the easiest thing to hide before marriage is addiction/habit. Anyone blaming you is just being unrealistic. You may never know whether your spouse is into drugs, a chronic gambler, a porn addict, or a bisexual. It takes only an app to become a chronic gambler these days. Addictions are mostly things people do in the secret, when they're alone, so how on earth are you going to find out whether your man gambles with money?
The compatibility metric is even useless when it comes to certain issues. For example, no chronic gambler wants to marry another chronic gambler, so chronic gamblers seeking marriage would most likely hide/fake financial discipline or "investments" just to lure a spouse who's probably carried away with money, level of education, good family, or good looks. It's a complex issue.
To the OP, I would only be lying if I tell you that I have a solution. I don't have any. On one hand, I can't advise my sister to remain with a chronic gambler. On the other hand, I think it is too early to have this divorce talks. I mean, your marriage is barely 4 month old. But I hope you find a way around your issues. Maybe it's time to activate your conflict resolution plan. A resolution plan may include "a very good family", "an entity he respects so well, e.g. spiritual fathers", etc. If he has none, then your divorce may be faster than you envisaged.
Gambling is a terrible addiction because any money that enters his hand na straight to bet app Nigeria has nothing in place to help problem gamblers And the best way to kill an addiction (erase all access to it) cannot work They have placed bet joints everywhere you look. There is bet spam for multiple browser links. Even Nairaland is full of scummy bet agents. A man would have to go up a mountain with no network to leave all gambling attractions behind. There is quite possibly much worse down the road, fraud, theft, loan sharks. We are in very big trouble with gambling 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Toks2008(m): 9:58pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Gamesmart:
A man who wastes and squanders the money that should be used to take care of the household and raise the kids is of no value as a husband.
The only circumstance that I would advise her to stay with him is if he agrees to have her control the access to all his income and then she gives him monthly pocket money. That is the only way to handle a gambling addict.
Otherwise he is useless in her life! Gambling is bad but there are people who have changed their lives positively through gambling or is lottery not a form of gambling? Furthermore, marriage is not like a dating affair where you can just leave especially when kids are involved. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Gamesmart: 10:04pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Toks2008:
Gambling is bad but there are people who have changed their lives positively through gambling or is lottery not a form of gambling?
Furthermore, marriage is not like a dating affair where you can just leave especially when kids are involved. Please stop talking crap! If you are using a small amount you can afford to lose to bet, it is not that bad. If you are betting a significant amount of your income hoping to hit it big and "change your life" via gambling or lottery, you are either: (a) sick in the head (aka addict) or (b) sick in the head (aka reetarded) b is even worse when you justify your stuuupid actions with " there are people who have changed their lives positively through gambling". 4 Likes |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by teejaymmm(m): 10:14pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
My Generation and divorce, they want to marry but don't want to stay married. Did you guys go through counselling? Our fathers played pool and our mothers managed them. My dear it's too early to talk about divorce. Seek help for husband, get a counselor, what about the elders? You can help him get out of that addiction, moreover that is what marriage is all about. I wish you well in your union,one day you'll use this challenge to counsel someone in same situation. God bless you loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.
I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.
Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.
All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Poleski: 10:16pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.
I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.
Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.
All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me. Long courtship is always the best thing before marriage because it gives you the crucial opportunity to really know who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Try counseling and if it doesn't help, then go ahead and divorce that deadbeat of a husband. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by teejaymmm(m): 10:26pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Don't listen to her oh...I have warn you. Na them, baby Mama's, by their comments you shall know them ModestGal:
I hope you see and read my message. Please, divorce the idiot and assume he's a sperm donor, if you want to endure,be sure you will end up with depression and other mental health issues.its not worth it. And don't listen to the fools in this thread, they are usually against women and ready to bash women at any opportunity. Most of them are teens, frustrated and broke dumbies. Also, for the sake of your sanity,do not post for advice on this forum anymore,they will make you hate yourself with their bashing comments. Remember they are broke and frustrated
Try to join Facebook groups, avoid Nigerian fb groups,most Nigerian women are dumb, look for international groups,join and seek for advice. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by kaywhy09(m): 10:26pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
Do you want to divorce and stay single?
Except you want to mould one yourself, there is no perfect human anywhere.
See, if you calm down, you have the power, as a woman to make your man. Yes. But you can't do that in 4 months. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by juman(m): 10:42pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
mpire:
Truthfully, it's too early to throw in the towel, divorce is awful; unless you know somethings that you cannot deal with for the rest of your life and you're certain he's never gonna change. If you've only been married for few months,I'm assuming you're in Nigeria ask a lawyer if you can annual it instead of a divorce. Annulment is different, your plate is wiped clean and it never shows you've ever been married. I'm not sure about naija, but ask a lawyer. But honesty 4 months is just too short for anyone not to endure and throw in the towel; but I know it might hurt you so bad to wanna up so soon, it's your call at the end of the day because only you will live your own life. All the best. Annulment of marriage. I learnt new thing. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by juman(m): 10:44pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
The salary of the husband should be paid to the account of the wife to be in charge how they spend. 1 Like |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Major7: 11:46pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.
I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.
Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.
All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me. There's nothing peaceful about divorcing, it doesn't go down easily and it may even get messy than you could possibly imagine. Just pray for him |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Algold: 11:50pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
You are suffering from pregnancy problem |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by darediamond(m): 11:59pm On Mar 03, 2022 |
HarunaWest:
The man when do you this thing,e no go better for am. See bitterness all over your post. Wetin man do you? Strong tin ooo! |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Toks2008(m): 12:55am On Mar 04, 2022 |
Gamesmart:
Please stop talking crap!
If you are using a small amount you can afford to lose to bet, it is not that bad.
If you are betting a significant amount of your income hoping to hit it big and "change your life" via gambling or lottery, you are either:
(a) sick in the head (aka addict) or (b) sick in the head (aka reetarded)
b is even worse when you justify your stuuupid actions with "there are people who have changed their lives positively through gambling". Habba! No be fight nah abi why you come dey wail like a crying banchee. We are having a discussion so please calm your raging nerves. My point is clear,... You just dont run out of your marriage as if it is just a date. If you dont gerrit, forgerrit. Good night. |
| Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by Gamesmart: 1:15am On Mar 04, 2022 |
Toks2008:
Habba! No be fight nah abi why you come dey wail like a crying banchee.
We are having a discussion so please calm your raging nerves.
My point is clear,... You just dont run out of your marriage as if it is just a date.
If you dont gerrit, forgerrit. Good night. Don't give her such weak advise and pushing rubbish beliefs that would further destroy her life. I don't know where you people get this mentality/" wisdom" that gambling (especially via betting) is a means to riches. The only gambling where you have a fair chance is the one you bet with other people. E.g. poker, card games etc. But Bet9ja and co? ..................... Don't get me started. THE HOUSE WINS! You, the players, LOSE! 3 Likes |
