What makes you think the mother has not hit her parent in the past... And this is her payback...

Iyaebe:
You know nothing,there are certain things you don’t dare irrespective of situation you may find yourself,I never praised his mom for her habits in any way but told him to do the needful to avoid future reoccurrence.In life one has to be very careful and mindful of what we do in our youth,a simple mistake can cause misfortune for generations unborn and if you can’t leave wealth for your future generations to come at least don’t create curses for them .He has no right to do what he did as two wrongs can never make a right.Most of the things that happens in most homes you see today sprung up from somewhere,you know nothing.Tell him the truth so he can make amends,don’t lead him on to destruction.

Go and pray and then beg her. When i mean pray, i mean lie before God and beg him and ask him to help you. I know you said all nice things about yourself which i want to believe, but you can't give what you don't have. What isn't in you won't come out even if pressured, so i sense you have some kind of resentment towards her and that's what happened. I know your mum did wrong and maybe it was her fault, but your mom isn't the problem here. Your reaction is.

You will be married someday and your wife will surely do things to you that will annoy you. So if you don't learn to deal with this now, you will get into serious problem in future. Next time, try to walk away. But don't take it lightly what has happened. Something is in you that reacts under enormous pressure. You need to deal with that because you don't know where you will find yourself in future.

Apologize to her and continue apologizing to her....seek for forgiveness from God

AudioMonkey:


If she slaps you out of love is different from having a devil as a mother. Don't even wish for it.

parents having issues with their children is normal especially when a child get to 18years above the child feel he/she is an adult now and no one can control him/her anymore. Trust me the op is between the age 18-23 that when the pressure is always high

Try and buy what she likes probably clothes or anything that would gladings her and prostrate to beg her, because it is an abomination to beat someone mum or dad pls. Do it fast .

When I first saw the caption, I was irritated and immediately thought you must have been influenced by idi"otic red-okpillas on nairaland who call themselves Alfa nails yet have nothing to show for it.

Then I read your write up and felt the pain and instant remorse in the letters and how you wish you could undo what you did.....

I understand you. You aren't a bad person. Your mother shouldn't have raised her hands on you as a grown adult as well. That's unfair. That's abuse as well. You must have reacted back in a split second without thinking. It happens.
Stop beating yourself up.


LET YOUR MUM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS FELT GROWING UP. WRITE A HEARTFELT LETTER TO HER. THEN APOLOGIZE.

You don't have to use words like hatred on her though cos that's extreme. She is your mother. She OBVIOUSLY cares about you. She just has a bad character. A character she had even before you were born. Does that now mean she hates you? Naaaa! She probably was the one making all your meals for this one week you were there.

She nags about your hair, about your sagging trousers, about you taking up music as a career but believe it or not, they all come from a place of care even though she is going about it the wrong way.. This woman who fed you, bathed you, clothed you, worried about you when you were sick etc actually does care. Saying you hate her is a wicked word to use. I guess you learnt that from nairaland.

Anyway, I wish you well.

God bless you

Tallesty1:
Why are you people shying away from the truth simply because it was a woman, his mother.

If what the OP said about the woman is true then she owe him and his siblings an apology. In sane clime, government suppose don collect the kids from her because she's an abusive parent.

Do you know the psychological and emotional damage she's done to these children? Do you even know how abusive people are raised?

Everything he complained about her doesn't matter because she's a mother right? You think being a mother starts and ends at pushing kids out?

It's a miracle if this Op is reserved, that's if he's not lying about himself but that too is a psychological problem. A kind of defense mechanism.

He said in his post that he doesn't have friends, he doesn't trust people. Do you think these things happened naturally? Dude is trying to protect himself from people like his mother. He's damaged.

Let me be honest with you, the OP is very likely to be a violent person, he sees it himself so he's staying away from people because he doesn't want to act it out. He dislikes his mother for it and he will hate himself even more if starts behaving like his mother.

Nothing will happen to the OP if he doesn't apologize, though I will advise him to. Do you think the father will keep quiet if the wife isn't as the son described her?


It's people like you and Iya whatever at the front page that make it difficult for African parents to apologize.

The woman is a bad mother, I won't say she deserves what she got(it should have come from someone else) but I don't blame the Op.


You need to live with a toxic person to be able to have an informed opinion on this issue.

The description of your mum made me to remember the meekness man on earth; Moses. He endured all sorts of provocation till one day he reacted and u know the story.

My advise is; go on your knees and repent before God. Asking for His forgiveness. Let Him see your brokenness, ask his to take off the spiritual implications and promise to reconcile with your mum.

If you do, the spiritual repercussion would be taken care of and your mum will be a new person from her attitude.

Best wishes.

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

I was once in your shoes, I really got close to hitting her, but I had to insult her, not proud about it. But it's lack of respect for your father and by extension you.
Women tend to disrespect a man when he gets poorer and less influential.
Give her along distance, especially emotionally, even when there is peace.
Try to better, don't let her ever provoke you again, take responsibility become a better man, more patient, more responsible.

Today I have good relationship with my parents, but I have set boundaries, no nonsense, no disrespect.

Just go home as quickly as you can & go down on your knees & apologize to her, she will definitely shout, react, scold or even curse you but you must remain resilient & if she after a hard effort refused to forgive you, stand up & leave & repeat the action after a couple of days.
Your mom is who she is & I don't pray to have such a mother yet it's a taboo to raise your hand hit your mother so you are obliged by religion,culture & otherwise to tender a heartfelt apology in this case.
Good luck

Murphyenemuwe:
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 4:6.
It is easier to judge in situations we've never found ourselves. Yeah he made a grievous mistake and the most important thing is that he is sober. If you believe every act done would come to hurt in the future then I'm scared what you're practicing is karma and not Christianity quote author=sunkoye post=111327961] ohhh how convenient of you to explain this situation away.....give out one single reason you don't kick your own mother's head daily?

very convenient.... How many times have your parents provoked you and how many times have you reacted violently? Don't encourage what is bad. Christianity frowns at such at all levels cos their are spiritual consequences to it. It's also safe to say African culture sees this as a taboo. And morally humanity does condone such behavior.

Fahdiga:
You try. kudos. May your children lift you 8ft above the ground and leave you to fall yakata in future in Jesus name amen

try to be reasonable

Moz22:
he is.. trust me

the guy is not brainless imagine you came home and your wife tells you that your son slap her how will you feel about it bro

Nocommonsense:
I don't need to tell you my story but I wish to have one even if she is devil at least she is alive to call her my mom.

Alright buddy, I know you're been sentimental right now and whatever story or condition may deprive you of reality.
I may still understand a couple who wish for a devil as a baby just to save their shame of being barren but I can't understand an adult who wishes to have a devil as a mother.
Those who have devil as mothers wished they don't have any at all and this is the reality.

Beware of what you wish for.

Really

I'm not encouraging him. He said he felt bad there's no sense pulling down a man who has discovered his own fault himself. Have you ever found yourself in ops shoes? Or you were fortunate to find yourself in an all loving family? If it's the former then advise him how you coped that will be a solution to his problems instead of compounding it

sunkoye:
very convenient.... How many times have your parents provoked you and how many times have you reacted violently? Don't encourage what is bad. Christianity frowns at such at all levels cos their are spiritual consequences to it. It's also safe to say African culture sees this as a taboo. And morally humanity does condone such behavior.

Experience something similar, man up bro, this phase shall pass, I was the quite type that took lotta shit, my younger bro gave mama hot hot, she lata like him pass us...

kkins25:
What about the abusive mother? vecause he slid out of the walls of her uterus does that mean she isn't to blame? Its no wonder the lot of us in this nation get hidden trauma...

Learning how to set boundaries after experiencing emotional abuse from a parent can be difficult they won't admit what they've done.when the abuse is happening try stay calm...i personally think forgiveness is overrated,and you can't let go of resentment as if it were a balloon.it takes a lot of work.

AudioMonkey:

Alright buddy, I know you're been sentimental right now and whatever story or condition may deprive you of reality.
I may still understand a couple who wish for a devil as a baby just to save their shame of being barren but I can't understand an adult who wishes to have a devil as a mother.
Those who have devil as mothers wished they don't have any at all and this is the reality.

Beware of what you wish for.

I stayed all my young and youthful age with a wicked guardian so

Fahdiga:
You try. kudos. May your children lift you 8ft above the ground and leave you to fall yakata in future in Jesus name amen

why are u cursing him even after reading all he wrote I guess u r someone like his ******

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

Ignore those who are taking side with you! In all my life, I have never seen a child that beats his/her mother.
Where do you come from?

By hitting the woman that gave birth to you, you have placed a curse on your head.
Too bad!

Flee

Murphyenemuwe:
I'm not encouraging him. He said he felt bad there's no sense pulling down a man who has discovered his own fault himself. Have you ever found yourself in ops shoes? Or you were fortunate to find yourself in an all loving family? If it's the former then advise him how you coped that will be a solution to his problems instead of compounding it

I have told him earlier than when he ask for forgiveness from God and his mother...he will definitely be forgiven but won't escape the rod of God at his back. He will be forgiven but will also be punished.

Without purnishment anyone could just commit terrible blunder at any convinient time knowing that saying only Sorry would make him escape Judgement. So when he tell his story, he will include how he was wiped so that people can learn that you don't cross line any how.

Am shaking... seriously!!!

elmagnifico411:
A big fat lie! His future kids would do no such thing if he doesn't drive them crazy like his mom did to him. He's regretting his actions already, let's help him heal. There's a part in the bible that advise parents about being careful with their kids. The two of them needs forgiveness, not just him alone. I pray God will heal his mother.

Yes! The Bible warns parents not to provoke their children. It's a pity he lost his temper but some parents have gone ahead to totally ruin the lives of children who allow them free reign.
While advising children, we must also tell parents to be careful and not turn to problems. The woman he spoke about is a terrorist.

Moz22:
he was away when it happened... And he's yet to make a comment nor call me since yesterday

go back to that house and prostrate to her, hold her legs and seek for her forgiveness then seek for God's forgiveness then leave their house while you continue prayer for her



they might be using her to bring down the peace and happiness in the house, you guys should pray for her and do things that give her joy once in a while with time she will understand she doesn't need that pakaleke life

You think you're wise? You're a mumu man. You have zero reason for doing that. Better go buy items to appease her with. Bring in someone and apologize to her

Try and check my first comment. I told him what he did was to stamp and continue the chain he detests so much. If he's not careful he will carry the same hate and hurt to his immediate family to be. And bro please change that notion. If we're to suffer for the sins we've committed then why ask for forgiveness in the first place?

sunkoye:
I have told him earlier than when he ask for forgiveness from God and his mother...he will definitely be forgiven but won't escape the rod of God at his back. He will be forgiven but will also be punished.

Without purnishment anyone could just commit terrible blunder at any convinient time knowing that saying only Sorry would make him escape Judgement. So when he tell his story, he will include how he was wiped so that people can learn that you don't cross line any how.

Am shaking... seriously!!!

Iyaebe:
Hmmmm,you need to seriously beg for her forgiveness else your future kids will hit you too and it becomes a thing in the family, you should have simply left the scene rather than exchanging words with her but she pushed you to it which is bad on her side but she’s your mom and has some edge over you.Learn to keep some distance from people who can easily trigger you be it parents and whatever.Go and redeem this messy situation and never allow such to happen again,also ask God to forgive you after your mom has finally forgiven you.Good luck

So he hitting his mom meant his mom had in the past hit her own mom?? Una no just get sense for this country sha

I understand you anger can make one even kill a dearest person....

Tallesty1:
Why are you people shying away from the truth simply because it was a woman, his mother.

If what the OP said about the woman is true then she owe him and his siblings an apology. In sane clime, government suppose don collect the kids from her because she's an abusive parent.

Do you know the psychological and emotional damage she's done to these children? Do you even know how abusive people are raised?

He said in his post that he doesn't have friends, he doesn't trust people. Do you think these things happened naturally? Dude is trying to protect himself from people like his mother. He's damaged.

Nothing will happen to the OP if he doesn't apologize, though I will advise him to. Do you think the father will keep quiet if the wife isn't as the son described her?


It's people like you and Iya whatever at the front page that make it difficult for African parents to apologize.

The woman is a bad mother, I won't say she deserves what she got(it should have come from someone else) but I don't blame the Op.


You need to live with a toxic person to be able to have an informed opinion on this issue.

I can bet you that family section women totally understand your point of view and in fact agree with you. If the op substituted "mother" with "father" in his post, I'm damn sure one of them would have written the exact same thing you just wrote.
It's the Sisterhood; always looking to defend their fellow women even if the victims are defenceless children.
The blatant dishonesty is just shameful, tbh.

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

You are already in hell, if you didn't beg her forgiveness

Go and beg your mother. Kneel down and beg her and tell her to forgive you and mean it from your heart. The deed has been done already. Na temptation be that. And try and stay far away from her from henceforth. Just dey show face once in a while