Op nobody is above collecting....I repeat nobody. Even Satan collect when him fork up....so if she deserved it, she got it. Move on. Some mothers are actually devil's and dey will always use "I gave birth to you" to emotionally blackmail you....but the truth is any pussy could have birthed up....na your dad pour the sperm....thank you

My advice is, do your research to find something, a gift specifically, that she loves so much and can't resist no matter what, buy for her. And kneel down before her to beg for her forgiveness. Make sure she does. No matter what, she is your mum. You have to tolerate her come whatever.

What led you to this is you have for years being trying to help your father speak up against her. So you want to avenge your fathers meekness. This shouldn't be. Don't ever interfere in matters between your parents. Both are your mini deity you must not wrong. If they re so bad to you, just walk away. And you can't favour one and neglect or wicked the other. Just find the time when she is most calm and willing to see u as her son. Talk to her in calm tone. Get emotional. Let her see your tears that u re truly sorry, and u also wants her to change her behaviour also. God in heaven will minister to her heart in Jesus name to forgive u

9182736455O1999:

Op you sure say your mumsy go forgive you even if you beg her?
i no blame you sha. Me both my parents are almost the same. Very toxic people, but i've almost mastered the act of not responding to them. I'll just block both ears with earpiece, listening to music when they are saying all their negetive words to me.

You get luck say dey no dey use slap unlock your ear

Antina:



Are you saying if your mum makes you angry and slaps you in the process, the next thing to do is to return the slap right and beat her cause she makes you angry?

Ma'am there is a penalty for a lifetime of abuse.
A dysfunctional home cannot breed good interpersonal relationships.
No one is advocating violence but as a parent you bear absolute responsibility for the actions or in actions of your children.
Once again she is extremely lucky that boy has not turned into an antisocial monster and vented on all society.

She should apologise to him and move on with remorse.
Do not excuse her actions or dream on following them.
It may not turn out so well.

Do not abuse your kids.

Ifakiland:
Op nobody is above collecting....I repeat nobody. Even Satan collect when him fork up....so if she deserved it, she got it. Move on. Some mothers are actually devil's and dey will always use "I gave birth to you" to emotionally blackmail you....but the truth is any pussy could have birthed up....na your dad pour the sperm....thank you

how will you feel if your son beat your wife or is that how you do to your parents at home

I know you are hurt but raising your hand and even try to hit her is wrong, you could have walk away
Please go and ask her for forgiveness

Then talk to her like mother and son talk
That you are not happy the way she treats you or talk to you
Because you have trust issues with friends already and now having abuse issues, you may see your partner or any one like that especially if you experience it from them

Iyaebe:
You are very unreasonable and won’t make a good head,pls never get married because you’ll ruin it with your brainless way of approach

easy oo jeje, take things slow slow

Hi guy,
I sincerely fell your trauma and I want you to know that this is the first time I am commenting on nairaland solely because of your story.
Please note that no matter what, you don’t have the right to raise your hand on her. SHE IS YOUR MOTHER! but now that you have done it, quickly look for matured man that you know will keep your secret and the person whom your mother respect to go and beg her on your behalf, the person could be your pastor or alfa and make sure that from the beginning of the conversation till the end of the it, you are on prostrating.
Next time such an issue happens, just leave the house and let her be the one to call you.

I wish you all the best.

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

See, Go dobale and beg ur mom

Keep apologizing daily remorsefully and weneva u are praying, ask God to forgive u and soften ur mom heart... If u have money u can keep buying her something she likes daily (i do suggest fruit tho)

Iree óò
God will help you

Bros if I were you, I will just go back and apologize.
Pack ur valuable things and
Leave immediately.
If possible relocate to a very far place.
Prepare to spend years say 2 to 3 years .Grab any opportunity to travel abroad.
Look for money and come back.
Money stops nonsense.

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

Your mum will be fine las Las.
After like one week, go back home and apologize to her but table her your grievances. I assure you, she won't repeat it. Why does she behave like that? Are you guys facing financial challenges? It is well.

bummyla:
I have seen a lot in life! And I know if care is not taken, we are bound to make our parents mistakes with our own children! I am not supporting his mother or the father you talked about!

I am talking about what is good and acceptable before GOD!

Last year I bailed a Benin boy and a loved one from Slavery in Ghana. Their parents pushed and sent them there, both nearly dead, till I have to pay some hard earning money for their freedom, just for the edo boy's parents to tell him not to come back home, with benz and yahoo money.

Some parents are horrible but the bible said "Honor your parents, so that your day will be long"

Let God deal with the wayward parents, our duty is to honor them, less you will repeat their mistakes with your loved ones

Yes i understand. But could you please tell me the instruction God gave parents just as he instructed the children to obey their parents?

CAPSLOCKED:
NOTHING TO SEE HERE JUST A SIMPLE CASE OF SELF DEFENSE. THAT'S ALL.

Hmmm, hitting your parents is a simple case of self defense. i pity the ones that listen to your foolery.

Guy, you be omo ale jati jati

Go apologize to her and try to not stay around there too long. Plan hangouts with your dad and brother instead of going to spend time with them at your parents.

Murphyenemuwe:
Try and check my first comment. I told him what he did was to stamp and continue the chain he detests so much. If he's not careful he will carry the same hate and hurt to his immediate family to be. And bro please change that notion. If we're to suffer for the sins we've committed then why ask for forgiveness in the first place?

Pls don't let us go into what divine justice, lawful captive or prey meant. You don't ask for mercy when things are alright. Devil goes to and fro...visits the past and comes to present to have legal backing on who is to be afflicted.

Besides.... things don't Just happen. Their is nothing like coincidence. A force must have propelled that violent reaction to achieve a purpose. A purpose that originated from the past or a future goal.

Ninisun:




Your mum will be fine las Las.
After like one week, go back home and apologize to her but table her your grievances. I assure you, she won't repeat it. Why does she behave like that? Are you guys facing financial challenges? It is well.

Most likely financial challenges. The mom sees him as a leech in the house with no prospects, following the way of his dad which she's not satisfied with. He knows that his mom is toxic but he kept fueling her rage till she hits him. Women will naturally use their mouth as weapon, if they are african and older, they are likely to want to hit you as they forever see you as a child except you have become greater than them.

Very sad though. U hit her back cux u had it in mind for long.. Ntin will ever make her forget it..
Growing up my mum would always beat me anytime I visit the shrine. All this Jesus people lol. When i joined the masquerades.. Her beating was 50% of what I do receive during festivals. She stopped herself. Our mothers are still that eve u read in the bible.. Always be there for them from eating that apple(bad attitudes) never raise your hand on a Lady. Go buy her a cow and white wrappers. Else. Your life will be like the seeds that fell on rocky grounds

jimmychang:


Exactly,only someone who has toxic parents can relate.It is not the OPS fault.I was in his situation once.

Yeah I agree with you

You don't need an advice, just keep your mouth shot, you raised your hand to hit the woman that gave you life? Padi, go wear sack cloths and morn, because you've ignorantly placed and external swear on your generation.

Just go back home, knell down and beg her. Do everything possible to make her forgive you.

Don't plan to stay faraway for now. Ignite the bond (if there's) again. That may take months.

After that stay faraway from home, since you have your place.

Moz22

Moz22:
Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.

My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!

However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her

Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...

I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...

Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..

I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect

Pls ignore my typo errors abeg

You are a bastard.

Once this is done ,It will surely occured again if care is not taken.

If you can hit your mum iam sorry for the woman that would marry you.

Well. The bad had been done . Solution is to go and beg your mum and your father. Oh! You don't know you offended your father too. ? It wasn't your mum alone you hit but both. You have to start by begging your father then your mother and you would have to go into fasting and prayers to beg God.

Oh ! You don't know you have offended God top? You have offended God because you have disobeyed his law that said "honor your father and your mother"
That is not a prayer you will pray a day and said you have prayed. It is prayer that you will pray for the rest of your life . I mean that God should forgive you. More importantly you must not angry with your mother again not to tell of beeten her and you must always do things to make her happy for the rest of her life . To cover up the damage you have done

Op, ask for her forgiveness

Do everything to make sure she sincerely forgives you.

Buy her things that'll bring her joy and ask for her blessings

She's your goddess on earth, no matter what, you don't put your hands on her.

Fahdiga:
You try. kudos. May your children lift you 8ft above the ground and leave you to fall yakata in future in Jesus name amen

dont be stupid young man

Moz22:
thanks.. I'll make amends. I've basically not done anything with my life since it happened. I even stayed away from my phone

I understand your situation, just pray to God for forgiveness, then apologize to your mom for hitting her, whether she forgives you or not God will forgive you and that is all you need.

By the way, because a man hit his parent doesnt mean his children will do same to him, dont believe that. Life doesnt work that way.

Africans aren't getting emancipated anytime soon!

Ayomivic:


You are a bastard.

Once this is done ,It will surely occured again if care is not taken.

If you can hit your mum iam sorry for the woman that would marry you.

Well. The bad had been done . Solution is to go and beg your mum and your father. Oh! You don't know you offended your father too. ? It wasn't your mum alone you hit but both. You have to start by begging your father then your mother and you would have to go into fasting and prayers to beg God.

Oh ! You don't know you have offended God top? You have offended God because you have disobeyed his law that said "honor your father and your mother"
That is not a prayer you will pray a day and said you have prayed. It is prayer that you will pray for the rest of your life . I mean that God should forgive you. More importantly you must not angry with your mother again not to tell of beeten her and you must always do things to make her happy for the rest of her life . To cover up the damage you have done

I'm not a bastard.. they both gave birth to me

Just to round up, two things and one best way out.

First, the apology kite everyone is flying.
Yes, he should apologise for the violent retribution. That was foolish.
The danger however is that in these parts apologies are often misconstrued. so they embolden the abuser where such an individual is purely emotional and lack rational thinking.
The consequence will be the worsening of the situation and a potential expansion to engulf others, which leads to the second point.

Leaving the house.
Once more this looks rational on the surface but for heavens sake he has a kid brother "to take care of'.
It doesn't take a genius to determine that all the fall out will come on that lad and it is almost certain the sad incident will repeat itself, perhaps to a worse degree.
For we all know the younger generation is less condescending and more assertive across board.
So 'out of his experience' it is better for him to remain and be the 'isolator', which leads me to the last point and my suggestion to him.

Which is to apologise with a 'straight face'.
Then go seek an intermediary to mediate since your dad has been 'conquered'.
Such a person MUST be one who she respects and listens to but most importantly a person that is steeped in wisdom and not given to sentiment, trado-cultural correctness and will be an impartial referee ready to repair the damage to the family as a whole first, then your relationship with her, secondarily.

My two cents.

JoyousFurnitire:
Just go back home, knell down and beg her. Do everything possible to make her forgive you.

Don't plan to stay faraway for now. Ignite the bond (if there's) again. That may take months.

After that stay faraway from home, since you have your place.

Moz22

thanks

No matter how bad your mother is, hitting / beating or even arguing with her is actually a bad thing. I know you won’t be happy if your kid beats you up.

Next time stay away if you don’t like the way she is behaving or talking to you.

Bro you did a bad thing so you need to go and apologize to your mom.

Ninisun:




Your mum will be fine las Las.
After like one week, go back home and apologize to her but table her your grievances. I assure you, she won't repeat it. Why does she behave like that? Are you guys facing financial challenges? It is well.

Seriously.. I do not understand her any more.