ukaface:
what are the benefits?

Of course you know the benefits .

ibechris:




Is not about being lucky,if u must succeed in marriage u have to first of all see marriage as business.

Detail what u want at the time both of u are still into relationship and when this is done,u will see everything working out as planned.

When I was dating my wife,I told her about what I intend to achieve before I get to the age of 40. One of which was to have not less than 10 plots of land in two states of the federation. Which today,we are at the 7th plots before I shall get to my target age

And her answer was that,she would help me to achieve my dreams especially the positive ones. We discussed our future children and how many we intend to have as we proceed to getting marrying then.

The fact is what works for Mr. A, may not work for another but the major thing is writing those plan/goals down as it would help u to coordinate your marital ambition beautifully.

Marriage is good especially if come into it with a road map and know who u are marrying, if not,u may be heading downward the hill but if u can do the necessary things requires of u,u will smile at the end.

You made very valid points. Many don't even discuss the essentials before marriage. It is questions like: "Have you eaten?", "When are you coming to see me?" etc

ibechris:



Envy kill u there...

U should be more ashamed for not having any good story in your life to tell.
Well,I don't usually reply frustrated people before I will add to your problem.

Lol, what is there in you that is worth being envied? Being a slave to a woman? (Laughs) well it's pointless to reply you further.

ibechris:




Is not about being lucky,if u must succeed in marriage u have to first of all see marriage as business.

Detail what u want at the time both of u are still into relationship and when this is done,u will see everything working out as planned.

When I was dating my wife,I told her about what I intend to achieve before I get to the age of 40. One of which was to have not less than 10 plots of land in two states of the federation. Which today,we are at the 7th plots before I shall get to my target age

And her answer was that,she would help me to achieve my dreams especially the positive ones. We discussed our future children and how many we intend to have as we proceed to getting marrying then.

The fact is what works for Mr. A, may not work for another but the major thing is writing those plan/goals down as it would help u to coordinate your marital ambition beautifully.

Marriage is good especially if come into it with a road map and know who u are marrying, if not,u may be heading downward the hill but if u can do the necessary things requires of u,u will smile at the end.

My brother,there are no formula to this thing called marriage.
You are happily married today still boils down to you having an understanding, matured woman who is truthful in her words and action, which can't be said of many women out there, a lady can paint her self good in your books just to satisfy her desperations, did you guys take an oath while you were making those vows and commitments?,I bet no.
What would you have done if after getting married to her and she suddenly change to a complete stranger,it's a known fact that women can play multifaceted roles just to get what they want from you,when they say someone is manipulative in nature,it means one is cunny in making sure everything is in their favour, don't you think this is one of many traits of manipulative people.

ibechris:



U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend
I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

On the day of my wedding I got a jeep from my brother but u can't get it from impregnating a baby mama.

Guy,I still maintain my stand,that marriage is good. I and my wife have made 6.6million naira in three months just for working together as partners in our side hustle. But u can never achieve that with your baby mama's.

that's because you're in africa if you're living in the western world you would think twice before you try such and those complaininy about marriage been a scam two words for you "shut up" kindly disregard my comments if you're outside africa

Raalsalghul:


My issue is that the the story doesn't flow logically. He just jumped straight from when he was a bachelor to about two, three years into his marriage.

What exactly happened in between? He should fill in that gap and I want to know as it puts a lot of things into perspective especially if the aim of this thread is to prevent others from making the same mistake..

Or just maybe revealing that aspect of the story might heap some blame on him as he might have seen one or two red flags and ignored.

While I have my own misgivings about marriage, I'm beginning to feel this Op's story is fictitious.

its a copy and paste things... the style and settings made it obvious....

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

It takes 2 to work for it madam . Didn't the Gospel artiste that died recently worked on her marriage? Didn't she? If you married a lion there's nothing you can do to make it act as a little lamb. You're are stuck with a lion's trait for life.

I once dated a girl who made it known that I would be cooking for her on weekends.
I had to dodge the bullet.

Commonsensically marriage in this present generation is a waste. No man need any long sermon to know this.

But after reading the 38th LAW: Think as you like, but behave like others and knowing the conservative nature of the society we are living in. I might eventually marry but with an 'exit plan' in case things turn sour.

I think most men who are stuck in bad marriages today while suffering and smiling never had an 'exit plan'.

Fxwarrior:



You made very valid points. Many don't even discuss the essentials before marriage. It is questions like: "Have you eaten?", "When are you coming to see me?" etc

that's usually the way it worked in the days of our great grand fathers but on nowadays the dating phase shouldn't and mustn't be used as the sex phase (unless you ain't planning to settle down with your current partner) that's when you plan together and try to find out what your partner thinks or wants . Like the wise saying. "can two walk together except they agree". A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Nice thread

advanceDNA:




U now mentioned maid, brother,
sisters....meaning a man doesn't have to be married to have people that will be there for him at old age...... another fact of life..

U marry doesn't mean your children and wife will be the ones to care for you

Read again, you are missing the main point

Lol... When I was much Younger I questioned so many things foolishly. Like how will you tell me I must not disclose my earnings to my partner? Then why did God say we're one and not two? Mumu me. Not married tho but to form faithful guy I go post my paycheck to my girl. She was supportive to be sincere. But the moment she knew money was flowing in she just has this desire to ask Everytime. She's working o. I learnt that lesson the bitter way. Before we broke up if na 10 naira be contract wey enter I go tell am 2 naira. A war was waged against marriage the moment they conceived in their hearts men and women should be equal. They were never meant to be equal. As weird as this may sound, women were never created to have power. I'm talking in the confines of marriage. Submit to your husbands and husbands should love the wife. Civilization changed the rules and we shouldn't expect the same result

ExcelDBM:


Yes, I just hope and pray it doesn't change colours like the chameleon. Some marriages were once sweet until some wives unleashed the dragon.

FunnyDude:


Bro you have time responding to all these depressed bittered single men here. As for me, I don't own anyone explanation. I'm married and enjoying my life.

Most men here are opposite of what they preach real life.

Well said. He has time to be responding to them. Marriage could be sweet and bitter. It is the same in relationships too. If it is taking the toll on you, then feel free to leave. Don’t go trying to poison the mind of married people then you wonder why there are no stories of good marriages. No one needs you venom in their lives.

addexx:


It takes 2 to work for it madam . Didn't the Gospel artiste that died recently worked on her marriage? Didn't she? If you married a lion there's nothing you can do to make it act as a little lamb. You're are stuck with a lion's trait for life.

yes you're right a good marriage is the result of effort but the effort of both parties must be involved.

ibechris:



U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend
I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

On the day of my wedding I got a jeep from my brother but u can't get it from impregnating a baby mama.

Guy,I still maintain my stand,that marriage is good. I and my wife have made 6.6million naira in three months just for working together as partners in our side hustle. But u can never achieve that with your baby mama's.

This man, you suppose go dey do comedy aswear

So buying properties in the name of your wife is an EXCLUSIVE BENEFIT to you abi? I'm even tempted to call you a SIMPle man.

In the end, she owns everything and nothing for you. I just hope your wife is godly sha cos if not and she wan treat your fuckup, you go hear weeeen
Even if your wife gat properties, the tendency is very high she'll prefer to put her kids, younger sisters or her mother's name as next of kins than to use your name.


Everyone knows marriage favours women by default but men should also put themselves and their happiness first in anything. Not always trying to please the opposite gender even at their own detriment.

ExcelDBM:


Of course you know the benefits .

really, I don't.

odinson1:

I guess it is impossible to procreate without marriage then.

Open your eyes man,look around and tell me one Thing you EXCLUSIVELY gain being married

Eyaaaah, we gained alot from marriage bro.
Countless gains, l wish l had married earlier sef.
Well, sorry in your own case
Na devil you marry
MARRY A DEVILISH PERSON AND ENJOY HELL ON EARTH

ibechris:



Men benefits more in marriage than women.

You say?

odinson1:


Buying a property in your wife's name is a benefit to you? What nonsense is this?
Common sense will tell you that The wife is will be the owner of said property, so once again,the man benefits nothing.

I swear that guy no wise at all. Its like buying properties for your wife. That is not an achievement at all. If they divorce tomorrow the wife owns everything

Omo , this marriage something is becoming scary ...

ibechris:



I have benefited immensely from Marriage like it or not.

Marriage benefits far outweighs its disadvantage. When it comes to investments,my wife is my partner and my advisor and in fact,someone I rely on to offer her cherished ideas.

I have never been depressed as a married man but many of u singles are already depressed with baby mama's.

Financially,married people like me reach their financial goals faster than singles out there...who are looking for a baby mama to impregnate.

Married people have shown commitment to appointments and responsibilities than singles.

Marriage is a driving force that helps u to take ethical responsibility and that is why u will see more unserious singles caught as yahoo plus men.

Just thank GOD for the type of woman you have.

This is my candid advise to you.

1)There is no love in your marriage. I hope you did not make your girlfriend your wife and your wife your girlfriend.

2)Your wife is lazy and is not well brought up. What you guys need is marriage counselling. She needs to learn a lot of things. How old is she? A lot of 25 years old and below are spoilt and don't know how to take care of a man and the home.

3) Before getting married you need to know the personality of your partner and how to deal with it.Choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine. How long did you know date her?. My preferred solution is to go for marriage counseling. She needs to hear the truth from a third party.

Lmao, there are still good females tho. Provided you are also a good male.

NewSoul:
There are no more marriageable women! I repeat there are no more marriageable women. Men getting married these days are putting their lives and well being on the line

babajeje123:

You lots are the ones giving yourselves issues in your home. How would you feel if she also makes you feel you are in a competition with others? See
when you give a woman wind, she will give you whirlwind. I am coming to the realisation that we boys/ guys/men need several talks on what it means to be a man. That you are a man doesn't mean your head should not be correct.

If that war is fought the woman will lose because they age faster and she must now also henceforth collect money from the competition

ibechris:




U are mad and heartless.

I think the only thing I noticed about u is that,u are pained and I am sure marriage has dealt with and ur household.

May marriage kill u there.
U think marriage is about being street wise or intelligent,u are just jealous because I mentioned my wife being my business partner.

Say ur opinion and stop being cruel and nasty just because u hate marriage...I shall continue to stand for what is good and honourable.

You are actually dafter than I think

Marriage where the woman does nothing to bring in money should be banned.

ibechris:



U cant buy property in your baby mama's name now...but I have purchased property on two occasions with my wife's name without any need to regret it. But u dare not with your baby mama or girl friend
I have kept all my life savings in my wife's personal accounts which many of u dare not do with your baby mama's out there.

On the day of my wedding I got a jeep from my brother but u can't get it from impregnating a baby mama.

Guy,I still maintain my stand,that marriage is good. I and my wife have made 6.6million naira in three months just for working together as partners in our side hustle. But u can never achieve that with your baby mama's.

Your own mumu no get rival o.

If that woman divorces you, your own don finish be that.

ExcelDBM:


Because it is a scam to men as there is nothing beneficial exclusively to them while for women it is like a partnership where she is a nominal partner yet enjoys most if not all benefits without any actual stake in the partnership and takes all upon dissolution of the partnership.

Marriage benefits women more.... when you get married u sign up to take care of an expired olosho all ur life..... u sign up to take care of her financially all her life.... that's why they love it and that's why the financial stress is too much for men ....

Reference:
Selfish man that hates responsibility.
By the way, may I ask how you came into the world... okay you didn't ask to...

The responsibility needs to be worth it...

ibechris:



I have benefited immensely from Marriage like it or not.

Marriage benefits far outweighs its disadvantage. When it comes to investments,my wife is my partner and my advisor and in fact,someone I rely on to offer her cherished ideas.

I have never been depressed as a married man but many of u singles are already depressed with baby mama's.

Financially,married people like me reach their financial goals faster than singles out there...who are looking for a baby mama to impregnate.

Married people have shown commitment to appointments and responsibilities than singles.

Marriage is a driving force that helps u to take ethical responsibility and that is why u will see more unserious singles caught as yahoo plus men.

so in your opinion, all marriages that has ever existed in this life is all bliss? There was never any case of any wrong marriages at all?