| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by JONNYSPUTE(m): 6:48pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
NamelessOGBENI:
Now this a balanced thread devoid of emotions. I know some would want to turn it to gender wars but then, men suffer, women suffer and there's no point painting one the angel and the other the devil. .... Domestic violence can only end when both genders accept their culpabilities. But as long as women believe that verbal abuse is nothing,then we will still be experiencing it. 9 Likes 1 Share |
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| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Kooldame: 6:52pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
May our children not come across some boy-men,immature billy goats that can make marriage frustrating, no matter how you value them and make them feel secured they will prove they don't deserved to be loved by displaying their animalistic behaviour to their hardworking career wives,only divine intervention can change them from cheating,keeping malice,stinginess,and all sort of negative attitude that can turn their women to fierce looking wolves who are ready to devour and rainstorm their heads with words that pierce more than swords. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Elporo(m): 6:53pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
WHITELIGHTER:
Absolutely. I still think about some hurtful shit my ex-wife said to me over 4yrs ago 
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| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Double0h7(f): 6:53pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
IamAsiri:
It is true but this goes both ways. I know of some couple that the husbands don't touch the wives (at least not to one's face) but can make their wives feel like ants. You're absolutely right but I'm just staying on topic. This thread is focused on the pain of husbands and it is insensitive to drag the focus away from that and discuss the pain of wives. That is another thread. Verbal abuse damages anyone on the receiving end whether it's a husband, wife, child, brother, sister... all humans are impacted by verbal abuse. So let's acknowledge the pain of husbands and condemn wives who verbally abuse their husbands. 5 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by davosea(m): 6:54pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Happy easter friends .. No amount is small Abeg. Account name Solomon Sunday tosin uba 2054416596 |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Mytoto(m): 6:55pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Idaytesj29:
Yes, I couldn't believe this was coming from her.
She said the plain truth. Hahaha. Me shock sha, big ups to @Madamvanessa great writeup. 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Moneyboyz: 6:55pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
I almost sent my wife packing yesterday because of this verbal abuse issue.
What happened?
I went out to buy bread and kept my phone at the top of the shoe rack cause I know she will want to go through it.
Immediately I came back she started nagging and shouting calling me names saying I'm hiding something by hiding my phone cause she can hear it ringing when she called it.
It went on and on before she sparked a plug in my brain. I was this close to taking my kid to my mom and sending her away.
If you hit her now story will change. 3 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 6:57pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
efficiencie:
If your wife is turning you into a beast with her mouth jejely leave her before you morph into a full blown beast and kill her. Marriage vows should be updated to include what the man or woman expects as a precondition to stay in the marriage. If your wife cannot control her mouth leave and if your husband cannot control his temper leave. Men should confirm from women about what their mouth can do before marriage and women should confirm their men's anger issues before marriage. Hahaha  correct It should be inserted as a clause or precondition into the marital vows. 3 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Kooldame: 6:57pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Double0h7:
You're absolutely right but I'm just staying on topic. This thread is focused on the pain of husbands and it is insensitive to drag the focus away from that and discuss the pain of wives. That is another thread. Verbal abuse damages anyone on the receiving end whether it's a husband, wife, child, brother, sister... all humans are impacted by verbal abuse. So let's acknowledge the pain of husbands and condemn wives who verbally abuse their husbands. To those men who are genuinely suffering and experiencing verbal assaults in the hands of their wives despite being good husbands the lord will fight your battle for you and set you free 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by 30naira: 7:03pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
placeofallure:
Family nuances.
Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.
There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.
Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.
That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.
God save our marriages.
There is a big problem with your comment. Your conclusion that alot of men are immature. Unfortunately, that is not the case case. You simply don't understand men. Often when women say men are immature, I have realized that the are simply using there female emotions and feelings to set standards for men. Unfortunately, we do not operate on the same wavelength at all. Women are more emotional beings, men are more logical and practical. If you use your emotions to set a standard for me, I will always look stupid to you because i can live up to those standards. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Double0h7(f): 7:03pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Moneyboyz:
I almost sent my wife packing yesterday because of this verbal abuse issue.
What happened?
I went out to buy bread and kept my phony at the top of the shoe rack cause I know she will want to go through it.
Immediately I came back she started nagging and shouting calling me names saying I'm hiding something by hiding my phone cause she can hear it ringing when she called it.
It went on and on before she sparked a plug in my brain. I was this close to taking my kid to my mom and sending her away.
If you hit her now story will change. I don't think lying deceiving men get to pull this card! You're an abusive husband and you cheat on your wife and put her health in danger. Men like you should be worried about your wife chopping your D off instead of verbal abuse. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by ExcelDBM: 7:05pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Imbecilicsamuel:
Then don't talk about others taking corrections when you can't yourself. Who are you? Lol, you are a joker. Am I the one you're supposed to be correcting? Abeg take that elsewhere jare. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by iramure(m): 7:06pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
[quote author=MadamVanessa post=112005700]  Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women. The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating. Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person. [/quote Thank you ma for this honest admission. However what I find difficult to understand is that the level of regard or respect women accord thier pastors can never be compared to their husbands at home. To them pastors are God while husbands are rags. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by engrchykae(m): 7:06pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.
Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one. you better stop running your mouth at your husband simply because "it's your coping mechanism" His elastic limit might be long but its not infinity. Such men on the day of reckoning are lecture the devil on brutality 5 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by DeepSight(m): 7:07pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
donleo92:
Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.
This is a very critical point and most women know it: a single pointed finger from a woman is sufficient to destroy a career and even a lifetime, and some are willing to deploy that pointed finger even falsely in order to destroy. Potiphar's wife tins. 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by iramure(m): 7:07pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
MadamVanessa:
Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.
The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.
Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.
Thank you ma for this honest admission. However what I find difficult to understand is that the level of regard or respect women accord thier pastors can never be compared to their husbands at home. To them pastors are God while husbands are rags. (Modify) (Quote) (Report) (Share) 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Dybala11(m): 7:07pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.
Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one. Sha be careful o, I mean with the way you treat your hubby. You might think he's that strong but he might be hanging on like a thin thread. Emotional trauma is very bad o, I've seen a so called pastor that often portray his family has a happy one to outsiders. I had the opportunity to be close to the man and I know the bile spewed by his wife against him at home. The woman has even graduated to destroying his image all around. This thing called marriage sha. 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by kernniejay(m): 7:07pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
MadamVanessa:
Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.
Did you just say men should learn to control tbeir anger? So what should women learn to control or there is nothing conrrollable in them? It is better you say men should learn to leave the home and never to disclose their whereabouts to their vixen wives so that they wont be forced to have a man slaughter case to answer. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by ExcelDBM: 7:08pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Moneyboyz:
I almost sent my wife packing yesterday because of this verbal abuse issue.
What happened?
I went out to buy bread and kept my phone at the top of the shoe rack cause I know she will want to go through it.
Immediately I came back she started nagging and shouting calling me names saying I'm hiding something by hiding my phone cause she can hear it ringing when she called it.
It went on and on before she sparked a plug in my brain. I was this close to taking my kid to my mom and sending her away.
If you hit her now story will change. No woman born of a woman will dare nah or challenge my authority. She'll regret every bit of it. 2 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by ExcelDBM: 7:09pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Kooldame:
May our children not come across some boy-men,immature billy goats that can make marriage frustrating, no matter how you value them and make them feel secured they will prove they don't deserved to be loved by displaying their animalistic behaviour to their hardworking career wives,only divine intervention can change them from cheating,keeping malice,stinginess,and all sort of negative attitude that can turn their women to fierce looking wolves who are ready to devour and rainstorm their heads with words that pierce more than swords. This thread is not for your selfish prayers. 2 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Zealag(m): 7:10pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Finally it takes endurance and tolerance to make a marriage work 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by emapeteum(m): 7:12pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
This is a nice write-up. Most of our men are dying in silence. If you were to say this on air, you would see a number of people who would call for your head. Most women don't know how to talk and the society support them by saying it's their nature. You would also observe the way your sisters response to issues. I think researchers should take up this and proffer a solution because if we cannot address the root cause, then domestic violence will still continue. See what Wil Smith is going through in the hand of his wife of 24 years 4 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Dybala11(m): 7:12pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Demigod22:
I am very impressed to see a very healthy and resourceful thread on this forum without throwing tantrums or making it gender war. It shows we still have intelligent people here.
Over to the bone of contention. Verbal abuse have the same degree of effect with physical abuse. The African society believes that men are suppose to be strong, so most men hide their pains and misery.
Women should be properly cautioned to refrain from verbally abusing their partner as men are being discouraged from physically abusing women.
Personally, I can't tolerate women that doesn't have control over their mouth. If my wife think the best way to register her displeasure is by abusing me verbally, I will have no option than to halt the marriage.
Anything that cost you your peace of mind is too expensive. I will rather choose my peace of mind over everything. Mental health is very important to me. Omo, a lot of women we have out there engage in emotional abuse and blackmail o. My mom, as sweet as she is, was guilty of this years ago. I had to stamp my feet and warn her against doing such when I became older. Another way I stopped her is through an attitude I cultivated as a defense mechanism to counter her barrage of words and insults years ago. I always keep quiet whenever she's screaming and will go and meet her to tell me where I'm wrong after she's tired of shouting. Before then, I always find a way to run away and seek refuge somewhere else. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by zeedrous: 7:13pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
[quote author=AbujaCitiBlog post=112033872]
I wish i could like this post a million times. Well said. |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by engrchykae(m): 7:14pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
placeofallure:
Family nuances.
Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.
There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.
Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.
That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.
God save our marriages.
you said the truth. But do you know that some women are simply mischievous? Some came into a man's life intent on weighing their options on excesses. They will weigh you up to check if their excesses can be condoned and if not, they will behave. Have you noticed that wives of Indian hemp smokers are always calm and loving. While it is wives of gentlemen that always form amazons. 4 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by ExcelDBM: 7:14pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
relaxandsmile:
Since men have decided to leave reality for illusion, they will continue to be at the receiving end. FOLLOW THE LINE OF A HAUSA MAN WHEN DEALING WITH AN ABUSIVE WOMAN and be happy with your life oh men.
Incase you don't know the way of a Hausa man, it is SEKI (Divorce) straight away.
If a woman knows you can tow that path anytime in your relationship, she will think twice.
How can you toil so hard to build a home and someone is making it a nightmare for you?! Good point 2 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by bigiyaro(m): 7:15pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Shey to marry and stey married na by force? Metcheewww!!! |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by VULCAN(m): 7:15pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Your husband has a woman outside who speaks to the King inside of him. What is saving you is that the woman is not after your seat. Also he loves the kids and wouldn't want to leave them in your care as you will destroy them with your tongue God bless that lady for she is the one keeping him sane and happy. dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.
Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one. 11 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by ExcelDBM: 7:16pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
Pastorsmile:
Women are good and well behaved only when they haven't got into your home. Once you get married to them,you will begin to see their real colour. My advice to young men is that they should be very careful not to rush into a fruitless journey in the name of marriage.
Women respect you when you haven't committed that much. Once you do, forget about it. You've said it all. 1 Like |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by Asswipemod: 7:16pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.
Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one. Madam you toxic die. 5 Likes |
| Re: The Silent Pain Of The Husband by engrchykae(m): 7:18pm On Apr 17, 2022 |
ChoCho54:
Verbal abuse is as bad as physical abuse.
Yes, women say a lot of things they don't mean, but the recipient is forever broken.
At the beginning, I noticed my husband took everything I said to heart, no be person tell me before watching my mouth and choosing my words carefully. you are lucky you realized early. Your mouth for no fit explain wetin the man for do you. I am one of such people, we will just be watching you until your cup is full. 5 Likes |
