dacblogger:

Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

coping mechanism = excuse

ChoCho54:
Dacblogger I dunno why your readers are greatly misunderstanding you. That's why most people are not open about themselves and most are hypocrites.

I'll advise you modify your comment to address those quoting you out of context and to forestall any further infringement.

Misunderstanding??
She clearly admitted to being mentally and emotionally abusive to her husband. Imagine if it's a man that just admitted to being emotionally abusive to his wife and called it his coping mechanism, I know that you yourself will point out how wrong the man is.
It's not too bad to ask for everyone irrespective of gender to be held to the same standard, is it??
That is the essence of feminism, right??

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

You are the one that seems like the most annoying human being on Earth here..
Such an insultive person u are,
And the fact your husband is still with you shouldn't make u relaxed and keep abusing him, better change instead of just telling urself that u are trying to,whilst u keep draining his life with your bad mouth,
He might secretly be regretting that he married you and wondering were the humble and cultured girl he married went to...
May God not give me a wife that will insult me at home and call me the most annoying person in the world online..tufiaaa

judedwriter:
Nothing hurts a man so much as when his own wife disrespects him.

It is even more painful when she shows her disrespect publicly through insults, fighting, etc.

Marriage remains an enigma for some men, they see women as necessary evils.

But really, your choice of life partner matters a lot.

Having accessed the risk, it's essentially a game of choose your poison or even better choose the poison you feel one is ready to be with for a really long time or agreed amount of time.

Marriages that are well thought out, discussed about by both parties interest me because it shows some measure of accountability, understanding or at least communication about the existing dynamic.

It's more like active investing but for emotional affairs.

Dybala11:

Misunderstanding??
She clearly admitted to being mentally and emotionally abusive to her husband. Imagine if it's a man that just admitted to being emotionally abusive to his wife and called it his coping mechanism, I know that you yourself will point out how wrong the man is.
It's not too bad to ask for everyone irrespective of gender to be held to the same standard, is it??
That is the essence of feminism, right??

Yes misunderstanding, because folks here failed to see how bad she's feeling and her resolve to be better, even though we don't know what this man actually does to her daily.

For all the tea in China, I'm sure I won't last beyond 24 months with a husband like hers (the worst on the planet). But there she was coping in her own way which she acknowledged was wrong and wanting to be better.

I don't do feminism. I just want the best for everyone.

Donleo92 don give NLs assignment

Enough of Buhari and his bandits stories jareh

Demigod22:
I am very impressed to see a very healthy and resourceful thread on this forum without throwing tantrums or making it gender war. It shows we still have intelligent people here.

Over to the bone of contention. Verbal abuse have the same degree of effect with physical abuse. The African society believes that men are suppose to be strong, so most men hide their pains and misery.

Women should be properly cautioned to refrain from verbally abusing their partner as men are being discouraged from physically abusing women.

Personally, I can't tolerate women that doesn't have control over their mouth. If my wife think the best way to register her displeasure is by abusing me verbally, I will have no option than to halt the marriage.

Anything that cost you your peace of mind is too expensive. I will rather choose my peace of mind over everything. Mental health is very important to me.

Exactly!

Omo fear women Nah them the cause all this abuses the one I dey from my mama ehen chaii thanks God for earpiece oo

ManOfSon:


Any man who cannot hold it together, cannot maintain sanity in the face of even the vilest provocation; if he thinks anger from a woman's verbal abuse is sufficient justification for physical violence - he should enjoy his life by himself, unmarried. Not everyone is mature enough for marriage. And marriage is not by force.

It is understandable if the vileness happens once in a while or scarcely or maybe I meant one with a noble rationale but not a go-to for a supposed partner, soul mate, a second skin.

Even the good book understands that no man can hold it together long term... It's not just a healthy way to live.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

The prayer at the end of your comment is just the nice thing, because all these excuses aren't holding water at all. Nature can't make u foul-mouthed. Submission is a virtue.

Blake755:
Omo fear women Nah them the cause all this abuses the one I dey from my mama ehen chaii thanks God for earpiece oo

Continue wearing earpiece. Na express you dey go so.

If women are all useless, then your mother and sisters are all useless.

VictorUSA:
Women are all useless regardless of their origin.

ChoCho54:
Yes misunderstanding, because folks here failed to see how bad she's feeling and her resolve to be better, even though we don't know what this man actually does to her daily.

For all the tea in China, I'm sure I won't last beyond 24 months with a husband like hers (the worst on the planet). But there she was coping in her own way which she acknowledged was wrong and wanting to be better.

I don't do feminism. I just want the best for everyone.

The fact that she's trying to change does not cure the damage she has/might have done with her verbal abuse ma'am. A wife beater or a man that emotionally abuse his wife is still worthy of being castigated even if he apologizes. That been said, it's a commendable act if she's truly trying to change like she said.
Let me ask you though, how do you believe that you can't cope with her husband since you've never even seen or been around him before??
What if she has a history of anger too, it's possible that her husband is not the only recipient of her fits of anger too.

Demigod22:
I am very impressed to see a very healthy and resourceful thread on this forum without throwing tantrums or making it gender war. It shows we still have intelligent people here.

Over to the bone of contention. Verbal abuse have the same degree of effect with physical abuse. The African society believes that men are suppose to be strong, so most men hide their pains and misery.

Women should be properly cautioned to refrain from verbally abusing their partner as men are being discouraged from physically abusing women.

Personally, I can't tolerate women that doesn't have control over their mouth. If my wife think the best way to register her displeasure is by abusing me verbally, I will have no option than to halt the marriage.

Anything that cost you your peace of mind is too expensive. I will rather choose my peace of mind over everything. Mental health is very important to me.

Wish I could like your comment a million times.

Dybala11:

The fact that she's trying to change does not cure the damage she has/might have done with her verbal abuse ma'am. A wife beater or a man that emotionally abuse his wife is still worthy of being castigated even if he apologizes. That been said, it's a commendable act if she's truly trying to change like she said.
Let me ask you though, how do you believe that you can't cope with her husband since you've never even seen or been around him before??
What if she has a history of anger too, it's possible that her husband is not the only recipient of her fits of anger too.

The man in question is her husband. She said he's the worst in the world. And he does his thing everyday.

The one I'm with is already bad enough, what should I do with the worst of them all?

ChoCho54:
Yes misunderstanding, because folks here failed to see how bad she's feeling and her resolve to be better, even though we don't know what this man actually does to her daily.

For all the tea in China, I'm sure I won't last beyond 24 months with a husband like hers (the worst on the planet). But there she was coping in her own way which she acknowledged was wrong and wanting to be better.

I don't do feminism. I just want the best for everyone.

The worst on the planet and she is still living? Even serial killers are not called the worst on the planet. She,like most women, embellish words and I'm sure her husband is not as bad as she claimed.

No matter how well you try to explain it, she goofed. What I like is her resolve to do better

luminouz:

The worst on the planet and she is still living? Even serial killers are not called the worst on the planet. She,like most women, embellish words and I'm sure her husband is not as bad as she claimed.

No matter how well you try to explain it, she goofed. What I like is her resolve to do better

U dey mind that one? You no see as she put all the blames on men

BluntTheApostle:


You women always like to define informed decisions on your own terms. When it suits you, it is informed. When it doesn't, the man has poor decision-making skill.

ChoCho54:
Continue wearing earpiece. Na express you dey go so.

I swear to avoid hitting someone am sure the person wey invented that thing must have undergo a lot

ChoCho54:

Feed your husband Easter chicken and pounded yam jare. It's late

ChoCho54:
The man in question is her husband. She said he's the worst in the world. And he does his thing everyday.

The one I'm with is already bad enough, what should I do with the worst of them all?

Really??
Please where did she made the comment that her husband is the worst in the world??
Also, why can't she divorce him if that's true instead of putting up with the worst man on Earth since there are better men all around her.
Why not do away with men altogether since only women are good and all men are bad??
Why manage something that is not good to start with??
You're a joker ma'am.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

Will you shut up

Favfables1:
Nice write up chief...
Verbal abuse is as potent as physical abuse, if not more, yet no one talks about this all because the effects of verbal abuse is not immediate or as visible to everyone in the short run ...

The same way women are told to run away from men who abuse them physically, should be the same way men should be encouraged to run away from a woman who is verbally abusive!

I've said it before and I'll say it again...
The day my wife abuses me verbally is the day that marriage ends .... I'm never going to sacrifice my mental health on account of this thing called "marriage" ...

And also...
Just as we're advicing men to control their temper, also advice women to control their mouth!

Cause a woman's power is in her mouth and a man's is in his fist (contextually speaking), why then should a man be told to hold back and "control" himself, while the woman unleashes on him?

Actions have consequences, if you're gonna abuse a human being, then you should be ready to face the aftermath of that action...

Fact is...
One of the reason a woman can continue being verbally abusive is because she knows that there wouldn't be any consequence to her abuse...

Point it clearly to her that abuse won't be tolerated and watch her fall in line...

The strength of men lies in their muscle while women lies in their tongue. Recall in biblical era when women caused increased envy between Saul and David which propelled the unexplainable anger between these men because of their mouth.

Women had realised the way to kill a man faster is verbal violence as they capitalize it with full gears to shatter our emotions. There is no woman, whether virtuous or not who doesn't possess this act just that the level differs. We got no choice than to manage them but kudos to the calm and positive vocal women out there

ChoCho54:
Yes misunderstanding, because folks here failed to see how bad she's feeling and her resolve to be better, even though we don't know what this man actually do to her daily.

For all the tea in China, I'm sure I won't last beyond 24 months with a husband like hers (the worst on the planet). But there she was coping in her own way which she acknowledged was wrong and wanting to be better.

I don't do feminism. I just want the best for everyone.

how can your husband by annoying you per second? Is that even possible? She's just bitter. Maybe he's not living up to her expectation, which is normally the case.

Emperordynasty:

You are the one that seems like the most annoying human being on Earth here..
Such an insultive person u are,
And the fact your husband is still with you shouldn't make u relaxed and keep abusing him, better change instead of just telling urself that u are trying to,whilst u keep draining his life with your bad mouth,
He might secretly be regretting that he married you and wondering were the humble and cultured girl he married went to...
May God not give me a wife that will insult me at home and call me the most annoying person in the world online..tufiaaa

Another woman just made a comment that this lady said that her husband is the worst on Earth. What some people won't do to get cheap likes from people who doesn't give 2 shits about their life does not exist sha.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

Hmmm... women! Please take it easy on him. You might be killing your hubby slowly without realising. I don't pray it gets to a point where he packs at 3rd mainland bridge...... To be continued.

MNDY:


You have spoken very well. I don't think a man can just start beating a woman unprovoked. Verbal abuse (and emotional abuse) initiate physical abuse. When there is a problem, you look at the root-cause.

Words so soothing... It's divine. Like how hard can the concept be.

Just being solution driven, where both parties are not unnecessarily thrown under the bus.

Jeferious:
We are gradually getting there...that era where marriage would be unattractive to all and sundry. Na "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" till the death parts the couple.

But this my gender sef...if women are economically empowered more than men in our current society, you'd be shocked at how they'd thrash the idea of marriage. But since it's the other way round, they won't want to lose grip on the "cows" they are milking emotionally, psychologically, sexually and most importantly, financially. How men don't still get this memo up till now shocks me. Maybe some of them do, but their sexual thirst clouds their reasoning till it becomes their undoing.

The world is MAD. Everyone is playing safe in other not to get hurt. I don't see why the institution of marriage, as we know it to be today, should not be extinct by the next 50 years. I expect other forms of male-female relationship that won't require such high level of commitment to displace it.

You nailed it when you mentioned men sexual thirst, Many Many can do anything to please a woman when the urge rise, many come back to their senses when they cum

Double0h7:


You're absolutely right but I'm just staying on topic. This thread is focused on the pain of husbands and it is insensitive to drag the focus away from that and discuss the pain of wives. That is another thread. Verbal abuse damages anyone on the receiving end whether it's a husband, wife, child, brother, sister... all humans are impacted by verbal abuse. So let's acknowledge the pain of husbands and condemn wives who verbally abuse their husbands.

This thread is making it seem that only men are verbally abused as against majority of women being domestically abused and that was what I tried to correct.

Hmm.

VictorUSA:
I swear no girl ever tore my heart to shreds.I only did that to them.The last time I did that was dumping a married woman and never responded to her calls, texts and pleas.

Are you dating a married woman?

VictorUSA:
The reason why I hate women is the rate at which I see married women flirting with me.Could you believe that imam wife was just casting seductive looks at me? She does things I don't understand, saying somethings that tells me clearly that she's interested in me.Imam's wife.Women are all useless regardless of their origin.

Have you shag one before?