Pls sirs and mas am not really in my right frame of mind.......

We cohabited for 7years and have suffered several domestic abuse so I decided to quit this January. So he left the house and took all the amenities the kids are enjoying since February...

So this, easter he called to tell the kids to come do easter with him in his village.. Getting to Kogi state, he sent me house and harrassed me with security officials. So he has apparently taken the kids from me and trying to take them to another state.

He has made attempts to buy the children from me by offering me 400k but I said noooo. He is a Deputy retired commissioner of police and ex director of EFCC and currently working in Dangote as their cso.

The kids here are minors age 3 and 5years.... where can I get justice and the authorities to report to. The kids are supposed to be in school today. He is 66years and am 30years.

Pls elders on family issues help me and how to get the custody of my kids back cos am ready to be taking care of them without his contribution. Am fighting for the kids becos of the motherly love I have for them not because of child support fee etc.

Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and that is how he has been collecting the kids from his wives. He has a brother he puts in EFCC and they all threaten me to fight me cos they have the money to spend...

You knew he did this to his other wives but yet you looked away and that traditional marriage is your power honor and respect but you looked away, also the most important, he has won the heart of your kids so my advice is because he is rich and powerful you should be very careful and take his compensation but always communicate with your kids because you don't have the resources to fight him..... Well my opinion

They are his kids as well and will obviously fare better with him than with you.If he’s not denying you visits then I see no case here.

Women always calling kids you both birthed and raised as theirs is always annoying. ‘My kids’, ‘my children’ like is he not their father too? You can only take the case to court and hope you win the custody battle.

How did you manage to live with him and have two kids for him ma’am?

What happened that made you separate from him?

how come it took this long to realize you don’t need him in your life?

Women would only claim domestic violence when the marriage is no longer good or in their favor but have been f**king each other prior and birthing kids every other year. When you knew he was a violent person why didn’t you leave at first? Maybe the money and small power he is using against you was what you was enjoying and using against other people, now everything has turned sour and you’re screaming domestic violence. SMH

It’s best you look for a person he respects and have the person talk to him so you both can be co-parenting, but this your idea of “my kids” is super annoying.

I just had migraine while reading this.


Cohabiting for 7yrs? Birthing children without doing as little as paying your dowry?

The elders are coming.

the kids belongs to the both of you...so none of you have a right to sole custody except it is given BY A COURT OF LAW...it's even easier since you too ain't married(it's common law relationship you had)...so presently the man is wrong...he can't forcefully take those kids...get a lawyer and serve him the necessary papers(if you have the resources)...it's only the court that has the right to give sole custody to any parent...MIND YOU THE GOVERNMENT HAS A STAKE IN THOSE KIDS AS WELL...so get a lawyer...but if you can't file a lawsuit then I'm sorry cus you will be at the mercy of the man and he will be taking all the decisions...use the law... nothing like any intimidation from them once the case in in court...if it gets too messy file for an EPO(emergency protection order) against the man...all you need it's resources and the law...good luck


you may go to legal aid council in your state capital Federal Secretariat...to see if you can get a lawyer there...I should be cheaper I think...

RedCentaur:
I almost got migraine reading this.


Cohabiting for 7yrs? Birthing children without doing as little as paying your dowry?

The elders are coming.

cohabiting for 7yrs ain't the issue... it's called COMMON LAW...i.e living with someone not legally married to you...it exist in law

rickpat:
the kids belongs to the both of you...so none of you have a right to sole custody except it is given BY A COURT OF LAW...it's even easier since you too ain't married(it's common law relationship you had)...so presently the man is wrong...he can't forcefully take those kids...get a lawyer and serve him the necessary papers(if you have the resources)...it's only the court that has the right to give sole custody to any parent...MIND YOU THE GOVERNMENT HAS A STAKE IN THOSE KIDS AS WELL...so get a lawyer...but if you can't file a lawsuit then I'm sorry cus you will be at the mercy of the man and he will be taking all the decisions...use the law... nothing like any intimidation from them once the case in in court...if it gets too messy file for an EPO(emergency protection order) against the man...all you need it's resources and the law...good luck

....

Thank u sir, am finacially stable to take care of them
D kids are minors and am capable to take care of them...
He categorically stated dat he tricked me to kogi state. So he he his no longer to be trusted with d kids....
D kids are supposed to be in school today, he even bundles me out and i av fact against him he his no better person for d kids.

Movingon5:
....

Thank u sir, am finacially stable to take care of them
D kids are minors and am capable to take care of them...
He categorically stated dat he tricked me to kogi state. So he he his no longer to be trusted with d kids....
D kids are supposed to be in school today, he even bundles me out and i av fact against him he his no better person for d kids.

go to federal Secretariat in your state of residence..ask of legal aid council office...if you are not okay with a lawyer from there...then go to welfare...if you ain't okay with welfare...then get a private lawyer(usually more expensive)...this case with be duly treated...he can't forcefully gain sole custody if the kids without getting it from a court

First mistake you made, you knew about all these, and you still went ahead of getting pregnant for him��

May God help you retrieve back your kids.

rickpat:
cohabiting for 7yrs ain't the issue... it's called COMMON LAW...i.e living with someone not legally married to you...it exist in law

Oga wake up, this is Nigeria. And where in this "law" was it stated that a woman not legally married has all the right to keep the kids when their father is still very much around?

Justkatty:
First mistake you made, you knew about all these, and you still went ahead of getting pregnant for him��

May God help you retrieve back your kids.

Amen........ was just 22years den. But as am growing older i really now no wat i want...

rickpat:
go to federal Secretariat in your state of residence..ask of legal aid council office...if you are not okay with a lawyer from there...then go to welfare...if you ain't okay with welfare...then get a private lawyer(usually more expensive)...this case with be duly treated...he can't forcefully gain sole custody if the kids without getting it from a court

Sir u are really on point cos dis are d advices am getting offline.... dat if he had a valid point to take d kids he should has come legally


But am going to d O P D at western Avenue now sir.

Movingon5:


Sir u are really on point cos dis are d advices am getting offline.... dat if he had a valid point to take d kids he should has come legally


But am going to d O P D at western Avenue now sir.

no problem...just use the law on him ..that's the only strength you have....he is already on a very wrong path ...I wish you the best

Go legal, let his legal team prove before the court that he has the right to sole custody of the children. You can also check out FIDA
(International Federation of Women Lawyers) office in Lagos as I presume that is where you are based, to seek their counsel.

Below are their contact details:

FIDA Lagos
Office Address: 14/16 Makoko Road, Off Herbert Macaulay Way, Yaba, Lagos.
Phone No: 08033092056, 08098557254

RedCentaur:


Oga wake up, this is Nigeria. And where in this "law" was it stated that a woman not legally married has all the right to keep the kids when their father is still very much around?

I'm sure you don't understand my point....the law gives sole custody to either a man or a woman that it sees fit...if not the law grants them co-parenting.. these laws are there...you may feel it doesn't exist in Nigeria..till the day you are caught in that web....so it's only MARRIAGE that brings kids right?.. you're funny though...child custody is either co-parenting or sole custody...sole custody comes into play if one of the parent is not capable financially or mentally or not interested in taking care if the kids...so sole custody can be given to a man or a woman... sometimes a visiting plan is set up...so mr. "this is Nigeria"...know the law and stop this mentality of Nigeria is lawless...we may have problem of implementation but the laws are there ..have a great day

Another "Seun must not starve" thread.

Movingon5:
Pls sirs and mas am not really in my right frame of mind.......We cohabited for 7years and av suffered several domestic abuse so i decided to quit dis January, so he left d house and took all d amenities the kids are enjoying since February... so dis easter he called to tell d kids to come do easter with him in his village.. getting to kogi state he sent me house and harrassed me with security officials. So he has apparently take d kids from me and trying to take them to another state. He has make attempts to buy d children from me by offering me 400k but i said noooo. He is a Deputy retired commissioner of police and ex director of efcc and currently working in dangote as their cso. D kids here are minors age 3 and 5years.... where can i get justice and d authorities to report to. D kids are supposed to be in school today. He is 66years and am 30years. Pls elders on family issues help me and how to get d custody of my kids back cos am ready to be taking care of them without his contribution. Am fighting for the kids becos of d motherly love i av for den not because of child support fee etc. Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and dat is how he has been collecting d kids from his wives. He has a brother he puts in efcc and they all threatens me to fight me cos they have d money to spend...


@mynd44
@lalasticlala. Pls help move this to the front page

You can't fight this man because he is rugged

You dated him simply because he was flashing all sort of wealth and comfort to you so you were just ok with him

For the fact that you are the forth woman having kids for him would have made you not to have any child for him

Assuming you used your head very well and get a bachelor to cohibit with and have those kids even if he has no money to give you, you will be in charge of the home

I will advise you look for people he respects and go to them to talk to him to allow you have the kids or better still get a place for you and the children then he can be visiting you guys there

Because they are minor, they are supposed to be with you, that's all the court can do for you

Wether he did any marriage rites on you or not, he is not supposed to trickly take those kids away from you

Involve your family while going through some one that can talk to him

Alternatively, if he allows you to be coming to see the children, but won't allow you to take them away from where he wants them to be, that's still OK

Be visiting them and start another life

This time around, look for a bachelor, even If he is poor, start life with him, struggle and have a say in your marriage

frozen70:


You can't fight this man because he is rugged

You dated him simply because he was flashing all sort of wealth and comfort to you so you were just ok with him

For the fact that you are the forth woman having kids for him would have made you not to have any child for him

Assuming you used your head very well and get a bachelor to cohibit with and have those kids even if he has no money to give you, you will be in charge of the home

I will advise you look for people he respects and go to them to talk to him to allow you have the kids or better still get a place for you and the children then he can be visiting you guys there

Because they are minor, they are supposed to be with you, that's all the court can do for you

Wether he did any marriage rites on you or not, he is not supposed to trickly take those kids away from you

Involve your family while going through some one that can talk to him

Alternatively, if he allows you to be coming to see the children, but won't allow you to take them away from where he wants them to be, that's still OK

Be visiting them and start another life

This time around, look for a bachelor, even If he is poor, start life with him, struggle and have a say in your marriage

This is the counsel she seeks for, that is if only she's open-minded in dealing with life and the harsh realities.

RedCentaur:


This is the counsel she seeks for, that is if only she's open-minded in dealing with life and the harsh realities.

She just realize that, all flowers are not a symbol of love

Let her deal with it

Movingon5:
Pls sirs and mas am not really in my right frame of mind.......We cohabited for 7years and av suffered several domestic abuse so i decided to quit dis January, so he left d house and took all d amenities the kids are enjoying since February... so dis easter he called to tell d kids to come do easter with him in his village.. getting to kogi state he sent me house and harrassed me with security officials. So he has apparently take d kids from me and trying to take them to another state. He has make attempts to buy d children from me by offering me 400k but i said noooo. He is a Deputy retired commissioner of police and ex director of efcc and currently working in dangote as their cso. D kids here are minors age 3 and 5years.... where can i get justice and d authorities to report to. D kids are supposed to be in school today. He is 66years and am 30years. Pls elders on family issues help me and how to get d custody of my kids back cos am ready to be taking care of them without his contribution. Am fighting for the kids becos of d motherly love i av for den not because of child support fee etc. Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and dat is how he has been collecting d kids from his wives. He has a brother he puts in efcc and they all threatens me to fight me cos they have d money to spend...


@mynd44
@lalasticlala. Pls help move this to the front page

You knew this would happen. Not judging but you were probably in it for the money. Take the money he offered or negotiate higher and leave the kids with him. Keep constant communication with your kids though. And move on with your life. Very simple.

U guys cohabited and u knew his character all along...u didn't find your way earlier.

I am sure u enjoyed all the nwa tinti.

Women matter self.

U were not smart madam.

davidmoyes:


You knew this would happen. Not judging but you were probably in it for the money. Take the money he offered or negotiate higher and leave the kids with him. Keep constant communication with your kids though. And move on with your life. Very simple.

Cohabiting and having children with the man was an unwise decision on her part, knowing the man's history but there is nothing simple in getting paid off in exchange for not being actively in the lives of the children she shares with him and expectedly the man would make sure he drills it into the children' minds that their mother collected money (sold them off), so she can move on with her life....that would create lifelong hatred in their hearts.

She should go legal and let the law assign she and the kids' father, responsibilities of each parent. how custody would shape up for the best interest of the children.

Movingon5:
Am fighting for the kids becos of d motherly love i av for den not because of child support fee etc. Am not married to him legally or traditionally...... we cohabited for 7years. And am his 4th wife and dat is how he has been collecting d kids from his wives.

Contradiction. You are not his wife in any way or form

Mindlog:


There is nothing simple in getting paid off in exchange for not being actively in the lives of the children she shares with him and expectedly the man would make sure he drills it into the children' minds that their mother collected money (sold them off), so she can move on with her life....that would create lifelong hatred in their hearts.

She should go legal and let the law assign she and the kids' father, responsibilities of each parent. how custody would shape up for the best interest of the children.

Thank u sir.... exchange my kids for money, no matter d price.... the children are already saying they don't miss me whenever i call dem. Just 5days of staying with him niyen ooooo

Ishilove:

Contradiction. You are not his wife in any way or form

7

Ok so how should dis be addressed

Ishilove:

Contradiction. You are not his wife in any way or form

She was never a wife but a live-in girlfriend.

Mindlog:


Cohabiting and having children with the man was an unwise decision on her part, knowing the man's history but there is nothing simple in getting paid off in exchange for not being actively in the lives of the children she shares with him and expectedly the man would make sure he drills it into the children' minds that their mother collected money (sold them off), so she can move on with her life....that would create lifelong hatred in their hearts.

She should go legal and let the law assign she and the kids' father, responsibilities of each parent. how custody would shape up for the best interest of the children.

Anything legal would require money bro. And I can see only one winner here. The man is connected and will definitely manipulate his way to make it all favor him. If she goes to the court, she'll end up losing both ways. Na naija we Dey bro.

Mindlog:


She was never a wife but a live-in girlfriend.

Very correct.

Movingon5:


Thank u sir.... exchange my kids for money, no matter d price.... the children are already saying they don't miss me whenever i call dem. Just 5days of staying with him niyen ooooo

Do you know where they are been kept?