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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave (24881 Views)
My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help / My Uncle Doesn't Want Me In His House / Help! My Wife Doesn't Want To See My Best Friend In Our Apartment Again (2) (3) (4)
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Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 3:23pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon: You are not a weak man but a good man. And that your goodness dey interfere where e no suppose. As you find job give the guy, e refuse, na im you for change am for am. Fling e load. I despise Yahoo Yahoo before R.ed Demon pillers! As your wife answer you like that, na im you for change am for her! Na she dey pay rent? You no go lay hands on her o, but she go see your red eye. You for tell her THAT day say if you come back work the next day, you no wan see that boy for your house. E no get any Inlaw court wey them go drag the matter go, na you go win. Why? Because you give am job e say e no go do, not under your roof. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Olumaeme: 3:38pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Go straight into his room and send him out immediately. Dear Men, always be In charge of your home, never ever be afraid to voice out whatever you are not cool with and enforce it strictly. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 3:43pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Bobbyjay001: This is the problem. Your wife "seems" to be ebbing away right before your eyes and you are REFUSING to take action EVEN when your head says you must take action now. Call a meeting of all the children away from Mama's hearing, may or may not be physical. Use conference call any phone can do it. Give them options: Suggest you all donate for Mama to get a new accommodation, a help will be gotten for her and you all will take turns to spend a day or two or weekend in her house. But she needs to leave your home. Say it to their hearing. OR Every one takes turn housing Mama. One person has done it already. You have done your round, the next person must now take over from you. Then keep quiet and let them contribute. The next person must be picked before that call ends or the meeting closes. If they drag their foot, Take your wife and the kids and take time off to a place where you all can just breathe. The guy living in one bedroom has no excuse except he is not in good terms with Mama. You have done your round, who is next? |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by AlieninPH: 3:46pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Bobbyjay001: If you are sure that your wife's medical condition is ulcer. Then go and buy Esomeprazole tablets for her to swallow one in the morning and one at night before sleeping. The ulcer will disappear within 1 week to 2 weeks, I am assuring you. This is an advice from me, who had ulcer for several years, wasted lots of money before I finally solved the problem. Buy Esomeprazole, let her use it, and come back to Nairaland to thank me. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by theamazonguru(m): 3:48pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
It's one of 2 things. It's either you are man enough to speak up your man or continue to die in silence, only to run to nairaland to seek for advice. or It's either you are able to feed an additional mouth or you are not. In which case, it is only wise to call for a family meeting and make this known. or it is either you are willing to let him stay and look the other way or you are not willing to do so. or it is either you are ready to appear as a good BIL and thus tolerate all the nonsense, or you are not willing nor ready to do so, in which case I expect you to know what to do. or it is either you are a pussy man, who has no balls to make rules in his own house, who is taken for granted by his wife and her families or you are just a disgruntled husband who will complain yet take no action. Mr OP, this is what I would do if I was in your shoes. How much do you drop for house upkeep before? Let's say you drop 80k. And this is always enough for the month, going forward reduce it to 70k or keep dropping the same amount. This will never be enough. Never, with that guy around, and I suspect he would be a glutton, eating every now and then, burning the prepaid meter because he is constantly indoor and thus makes use of electronics & fan. One way or the other, your wife will feel it, directly or indirectly. She wont be able to save anything from that feeding allowance again. She has to be adding her own cash to augment the one you drop. If she complains, you know what to say. But trust me, an she go send that guy commit once her own her don dey enter for feeding. Some women can be that funny. But if she doesn't complain despite all this, let them be. It shows she really loves her brother and would not mind making that little sacrifice. And you begin to see accommodating his as your little contribution to his life. It is not easy to accommodate in laws. Speaking from experience. My in law will finish garri that 5 normal people will eat, yet be complaining that his sister (my wife), is suffering him with small food. A 30 yo guy, has no focus, no direction, no plan no purpose. Always on phone 24-7, browsing. You date not leave any cash around, omo the cash must develop wings and fly away. Let Nepa take light small, he will complain like kilode. Meanwhile baba wey dey recharge the prepaid is happy that at least his units will be conserved small. He cant do house chore whatsoever. If no be say my wife change am for am, you don't work in this house you don't eat, that guy is ready to turn everyone to his slave. Choiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii people dey this life sha. So I totally understand you. Receive the GRACE you need to stand up and stand your ground on whatever decision you make. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by abeniagbon(m): 3:54pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Ddworld:He always hide when he sees me coming pretending like he is sleeping and all...you know doing hiding when you're coming |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 3:57pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
AlieninPH: Thanks boss. Is the bolded same as Omeprazole? |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by theamazonguru(m): 3:57pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Tradegood: God bless you. And you will see from his story that some of mama's other children are just plain selfish. What excuse on earth do you have not to be able to accommodate your own mother for a season. Even if it is rotational. So the sick lady is the best person to do so. This was how we lost my sister to the hand of something similar. Not exactly the same situation but here she was sick. Her husband was jobless, she was the one working and doing everything. Paying the rent, feeding and all. Yet she was dieing of cancer. She was undergoing chemotherapy, she was loosing her body immunity and strength everyday. Yet the husband was not supportive, this sick woman would go to work, from their go for her chemo appointment, return home only to meet the house dirty. She would do all house chores and still cook. Yet the husband was there. Never offered a helping hand, never assisted, chaiiiiiiii. This lady died eventually. So so so painful. Well God sees and knows all. But we self, make we dey take action when we are supposed to. It is well for married couples with similar cases. 2 Likes |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 4:05pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Tradegood: This is another suggestion I need to look into. Thanks for this. The last child who happens to live in a one bedroom self contained apartment is the only make among them. He comes around at least twice a week and he's the one in charge of their mother's account and spendings. He gives my wife money for upkeeps and buys necessary things mama needs. His only complain is that his apartment is too small to accommodate mama and his family of three. He got married last year. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 4:06pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
GboyegaD:Thanks |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 4:06pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY: Thanks |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by cavreek: 4:08pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Pls don't make anyone make u feel like u're a bad person. Just remember that the only people who will have ur back on a good or bad day is ur wife and children. Make a reasonable decision now that its till fresh or else be prepared to be labeled a bad person no matter the help u have rendered him Similar case happened to someone I know very well when things were alright u could imagine the crowd that were living with him, but guess what things went south and his house is as empty as a cave Pls make the right decision now or better still u xould give him a responsibility to be taking care in the home |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 4:08pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
theamazonguru: I will call a meeting. 1 Like |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by delman88(m): 4:32pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon: These are things you should have discussed before marriage or even before he came over on the duration any guest can spend with in your house. I believe at this time you should speak with your wife and tell her your views. If she respects and love her home, she would do the needful. 1 Like |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by space9880: 4:36pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon:Are you not the man of the house? You should be ashamed of yourself to bring this here… Tell the young man to get ready that he will leave in 3 days. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Damilolly(f): 4:59pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
@Abeniagbon sorry you're going through this. You wife needs to understand that you're a team. If you have a relative in your home you have every right to have an opinion and express it. You are the leader in your home. You lead by serving, protecting and providing. You must not allow any illegal, unethical or immoral activity in your home. What you permit sets the tone for the experiences and the reality yourself and your children will have in your home. You have served by providing accommodation and hospitality to your BIL. You need to discuss with your DW. Tell her you're giving your BIL 1month within which to get a job and find alternative accommodation. Where do you live? |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 5:15pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Bobbyjay001: Okay, the guy in a single room has a family too, I thought he was single. There is another suggestion for you, After the meeting, because they would all drag their foot, (this is all if by GOD's grace you have the wherewithal), rent another flat for you and your Family. If the one you are in is about to expire, pay upfront like say 6 months. You move out. Let Mama have a help. After you have moved out, let everyone know that you have paid for the rent 6 months upfront, and there will be need to discuss maintenance and upkeep before its expiration. The reason I advice this way is because your peace of mind is not what it used to be. Protect your Family. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Bobbyjay001(m): 5:19pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Tradegood:Thanks. Family first. 1 Like |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 5:24pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
theamazonguru:That was why I logged in and typed that response. The devil is very subtle, it takes the Spirit of the wisdom of GOD's spirit in a man to sniff it out. Selfishness. Even when they can see one breaking under the weight, it does not come into their mind to step in. GOD has not given us a spirit of timidity but of love, power and a sound mind. Bobbyjay001 learn to involve GOD more in your life. You are a good man and calling the meeting may not be natural to you or may be, but that is where you say, O LORD JESUS, give me the strength and the right order to pull this through" and watch how the wisdom of GOD will overflow you. 1 Like |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by abdulwassi(m): 5:27pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon: I just watched a similar movie with same story line.. Maybe is only ur dick that make u a man. Nonsense |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 5:30pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Bobbyjay001:Thanks for loving your wife enough to notice she needs help she may not even realise she needs. 1 Like |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by tamdun: 5:44pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Kimiso:I fit wozzz u slap for this comment, @op kick that lazy fool at of ur house |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Scarletjr(m): 5:44pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
This one don become landlord |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Tradegood: 5:51pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
theamazonguru:Sorry to hear about your Sis. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Poleski: 6:07pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon: We all have useless in-laws. Mine threatened my wife (his own elder sister), and I banned him from coming to my home. He eventually apologized. Give him an ultimatum to get a job or leave your home in a month. You have to take control of your home now. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Olatech01: 6:54pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
[quote author=AwesomeDuru post=112245834]It's idiotts like you who comfortably leech off someone else's sweat. Why not ask him if he's earning enough to be able to cater for another fully grown adult? [/quote God bless u for that reply.... |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Obainomilano: 6:59pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon:...the house is yours and as a man anything you do not like don't tolerate it make it very clear to him that he must get a job as soon as possible and that you do not support Yahoo Yahoo . because I am �% sure if he was your own younger brother and your wife is not happy with him he will not last beyond his holiday in that house ..you are married to the woman so if you are not comfortable with his behavior walk up to him and let him know that he must get something doing or leave unless of course you are not in charge of your home .. |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by purejustice36: 7:04pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
234GT: Mehn that’s his prob , I no fit get that kind wife na why I no fit ever marry from poor home |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by Aimerosa25(f): 7:10pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
Since he's too big to do a menial job, he should look for where to perch ,not live in your house, simple . |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by litaninja(m): 7:14pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
"Her family matters"? Na who dey pay rent abeg? abeniagbon: |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by LondonDating: 11:16pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
abeniagbon: You don't hate it enough. Maybe you will hate it when he is arrested for yahoo yahoo and he leads the police to your house to arrest you and knowing Nigerian police, they will believe that you and your brother in law are into Yahoo Yahoo together. Even my own blood brother will not be allowed to live in my house if he was into Yahoo yahoo. Regarding your wife asking you not to put mouth into her family matter, she is not yet ready for a marriage that lasts and I think you have to man up and put your feet down in YOUR own house. Your wife seems to value her family's opinion above yours and that tells me your marriage is a bit shaky as 2 have not become 1 yet. Anyone, man or woman who values their family's opinion above that of their husband or wife should be ready for that marriage to collapse because their family members intentionally or unintentionally will be feeding him or her bad thoughts about the wife or husband and most times these selfish inlaws and outlaws will slowly but steadily EVENTUALLY drive a permanent wedge between the man and wife. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: A Guest That Doesn't Want To Leave by 9182736455O1999(m): 11:38pm On Apr 25, 2022 |
fergieboy:Underrated comment |
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