Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by MtDave55: 4:22pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
Abobi your problem is bigger than you and you don't need to involved the innocent girl in it. In just 3 months you have beginning to consider yourself better or more important than the girl. I think you are yet to open up on the real reason you want to break up with the girl. Anyway whatever it is make it fast before she gets too involved in your phobia palaver
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by UjuJoan2: 4:30pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. I’m not going to make light of your phobia because I know it’s a real problem. But since you have lived abroad, you should know the dangers of having such a mental disorder. And yes, that’s what phobia’s are. Things like this degenerate fast. Sooner or later you will stop leaving your house entirely. It will only get worse. I think you should seek help. I don’t blame you though, Nigeria is a mess. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by sterlingD(m): 4:31pm On May 03, 2022 |
ImpactBooks: Well, In all fairness to you Op, having lived abroad for some time should be enough reason for you to be fearful of traveling on Nigerian roads. Your reason may sounds petty but he who wears the shoe knows where it pinches.
By the way, it's funny how some people regard Nigerian roads very fearful. Going by the nature of my job, I do transverse the length and breadth of the country by road more than anything. There is hardly any month I won't be on Nigeria roads for a minimum of two weeks: North-South-East-West. Infact, the last trip I made lasted 3 weeks as follows:
Lagos - Owerri
Owerri - Abuja
Abuja - Kano
Kano -. Minna
Minna - Abuja
Abuja - Calabar
Calabar - Uyo
Uyo - Benin
Benin - Abuja
Abuja - Lagos
All trips were made by ROAD to the glory of God. Infact, in the next one week, I will be on the road again for another two weeks as follows:
Lagos - Porthacourt
Porthacourt - Calabar
Calabar - Uyo
Uyo - Umuahia (Abia)
Umuahia - Enugu
Enugu - Abuja
Abuja - Kano
Kano - Kaduna
Kaduna - Abuja
Abuja - Kano
These trips will.be made by ROAD.
On a lighter mood, it's mind-buggling that an average Nigerian now has fear for Kidnapping than accident. In conclusion, what is very important is that one should have a positive mindset when planning to travel on Nigeria roads. More so, start your journey early in the morning so that you can arrive at your destination early enough.
Op, abeg na once man pickin dey die o. Go see your babe! If road dey fear you take flight. And if all these options no suit you, allow another man take control of the innocent girl timely enough. Last last, it's gonna be a win-win situation for both of you.
Cheers!
Wow wonderful |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by 07kjb: 4:33pm On May 03, 2022 |
This is what we call silly excuse,u can't travel on Nigerian roads is Nigeria a warzone rubbish |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Collins4u1(m): 4:33pm On May 03, 2022 |
Msteeeeeew... Next useful topic please. |
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Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Loreettaa: 4:39pm On May 03, 2022 |
Cooooooks see this.... Abroadian phobia is worrying him ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Richy4(m): 4:40pm On May 03, 2022 |
Slimdan360:
My question is what is so bad about Nigerian roads that would make op to develop phobia. Don't say kidnapping and terrorism cos a very large extent, these problems are not peculiar to Nigeria alone. Firstly, he doesn't reside in Nigeria...He has been reading about the happening in Nigeria...
Secondly, If you check the statistics of people that resides abroad, and how they usually come back during the festive period, it has reduced dramatically especially in 2021..His fears are valid
Yes, terrorism is everywhere but we all have to be careful... It's also very cool if u can tell him that what he has been reading is not always how it was online.. That's what a dude can do for one another... We all wanted a solution for him...
I have seen a lot of phobias including the fear of going to the hospital...So yea, if u have some thing to tell that can help to achieve his goal, please say it..
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Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by UjuJoan2: 4:40pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie:
Is it possible for me to tell her to bring her family to where I am ? ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) If you were the one your guy told you he loves you but he is unable to bring himself to travel to your parents because of the risk of the road (which by the way is a very valid risk) what would you do ?
To even think of bringing my family on that route and expose them to the dangers of the Nigerian roads even puts me in a difficult state.... My husband had a phobia for flying. He saw a plane crash site as a child, with all the burnt bodies and destruction. He had nightmares for years. So yes, I understand your phobia. But trust me, it’s not an excuse. Not when it comes to spending your life with someone. If you were my man, I will not proceed with the marriage if you don’t travel. I mean you not traveling means she and her family has yo do the travel right? So you will rather risk her and her family? Think about it? Does it even make sense to you? Do you know how many women die is childbirth, even pregnancies? Every woman has a phobia for childbirth, but we do it over and over again for you men to continue your legacy. Life is give and take. Sometimes we NEED to do things we really don’t want to do for the sake of our families. You may marry someone close to your location today, but what happens if tomorrow you absolutely need to travel on those roads. How would you feel knowing you gave up the one you truly loved for something you will eventually end up doing? Just suck it up and be a man!! |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Dheco(m): 4:46pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. When you are ready to settle down pls let us in.. But from my own point of view you are not ready yet 1 Like |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by cletz991(m): 4:47pm On May 03, 2022 |
Wetin happen to flight? ...I mean travelling by Air ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Dumeiby(f): 4:47pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie:
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the phobia is strong. I know how hard it is to come across good girls in Nigeria, at the same time the thought of being on that road, especially when it's time to bring my family on that journey kinda scares me. Are your families having same phobia? If your answer is No, go ahead with the plans of marrying her |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by GloriousGbola: 4:54pm On May 03, 2022 |
What is all this empty false pride I am.seeing here? Travelling by road in Nigeria has always been dangerous.
And it is much worse because of kidnapping. You think it is only high profile kidnaps going on?
The Nigeria of today, you have to double and triple think any journey. If you pass away, babe will cry for you and then move on. Same as you would do.
I cannot tell the op what to do in this case. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by alphaNomega: 5:11pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie:
Finally someone that understands my thoughts. I have googled Ondo State tire and the kind of reports I see are very distressing, the city is 1 hour away from Akure that has an airport and looking up Akure by air, it does seem like no airline goes to that place.
I spent hours searching for flights to Akure didn't see any.
Ofcourse I do love her and value her, but like you have said, living in Nigeria is like being in an active war zone and the risk of being on that stretch of road for 4 hours to and fro and about 3 times thats really making me feel discouraged. The funny thing be say she go read this your post come conclude say you no love am. lol. women. ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) I think you should just marry someone that lives in your abroad country because if you are ever going to marry a Nigerian, you are very likely to use our dangerous highways one way or another unless you do not plan to fulfill her traditional rites of marriage. On a brighter note, you can still visit your girl's parents even if they live 2km from a boko haram camp. When you get to Nigeria, make adequate preparations for security during your stay and trip, you will involve the police. Thank you. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Honestfrend: 5:11pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. It's better to die for something.. If I were in ur shoes I will not leave her.. I am still single at my age I should have been married like 5years ago.. But u see too many LovePeddler out there. They re all useless. But lucky have someone special.. Don't let her go. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by habsydiamond(m): 5:12pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. there was an old woman, that my dad told me her story of her phobia to transport by car, she always said she will always trek by foot to anywhere she's going...do u know what killed her ![](/faces/huh.png) One day, she was working in her farm that was not that far from the road side. An accident happened where a car on a high speed tyre removed on the motion and killed her in her farm. Whatever will be will be.. No matter the precautions we take. Just be prayerful. Stay blessed |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Sunny2034: 5:12pm On May 03, 2022 |
You've dated for just 3 months and you're thinking of going to see her parents already? Why so soon? Abeg give yourselves at least a year to date and be sure you guys want to take it further before you embark on any trips to see her parents. Yes, it's dangerous travelling on Nigerian roads so you need to be sure you guys are getting married before making the trip. If she's pressuring you to go see her parents, sit her down and explain that the relationship is still new. Have fun together. Spend time together. Meet her friends and let her meet yours first. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by babaalagbo11(m): 5:19pm On May 03, 2022 |
Op I understand your concerns |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by dontrulee: 5:39pm On May 03, 2022 |
blazingblender: My friend go and sit down Your girlfriend is the one who doesn't deserve you sef You are having phobia travelling on Nigeria road Asif the country you live in you guys fly around.. Secondly I believe the abroad you are even talking about may be one of this closeby African countries like Cotonou Si if you don't come back home where do u wanna retire?? Or you think we living here are asshol*$? Alaye, don't be toxic. Calm down. If you no fit help the guy, free am. True true, some people get phobia Sha |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Spain007(m): 5:42pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up. Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.
I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.
I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.
Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.
But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me. bro..even if you hide under ur bed,when death knock its inevitable |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by meobizy(f): 5:46pm On May 03, 2022 |
Why do these moderators keep pushing girlfriend and boyfriend issues to the front page? With the false chastity we always form here na man and wife matter suppose grace front page tire. You Nairalanders are sick pretentious perverts. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by GoodIsGod: 5:53pm On May 03, 2022 |
People like you will give you advice. I have got none for you.
Sex outside marriage is sin.
You gave the first belle You will soon give this one too belle, then you will come for another advice.
SECOND CHILD FROM SECOND GIRLFRIEND- WHAT SHOULD I DO? Will be your next thread in few months to come.
Alágbèrè Ẹ̀dá |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by cooooooks(m): 5:59pm On May 03, 2022 |
Saw this. Fear is valid, but he's being a drama queen. Loreettaa: Cooooooks see this.... Abroadian phobia is worrying him ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by obyrich(m): 6:00pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie:
You are missing the point, I have a phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, I avoid it as much as I can. Infact I have been in Naija almost 6 months and am not planning to travel out of this city. When going to Lagos I use the train or fly if thats an option.
Now to bring all my family on that route for an occasion like marriage, would mean I have to ply that road up to 10 times at least going back and forth with family. That scares me. You don't need to break up. Let her know your fears. You can work things out. Why would you travel up to 10 times on the road? |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by iamdapsyj(m): 6:18pm On May 03, 2022 |
frozen70:
My dear, I pity the girl but I blame the man not his parents
He is the one that will wear the shoe not his parents
If he realy loves her. He can bring her over there and the parents can do the needful on his behalf
Security is in God's hand not human To be honest, I feel his parents doesn't like the girl. Unfortunately, as a man, he is not ready yet for marriage if he can't make his own decisions. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by oldienavie: 6:24pm On May 03, 2022 |
Thanks to everyone that commented, special thanks to those who took their time and provided very great suggestion on how to manage the risk. I think the suggestion of getting a police escort sounds very plausible, not sure why this didn't even cross my mind. My fear is about the risk of kidnapping and bandits on the road, I think paying for police escort will be the choice I will be going with. Once again, thanks to everyone for your suggestion. 1 Like |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by rickleye: 6:43pm On May 03, 2022 |
Slimdan360:
My question is what is so bad about Nigerian roads that would make op to develop phobia. Don't say kidnapping and terrorism cos a very large extent, these problems are not peculiar to Nigeria alone. For people that read all the time of kidnapping on Nairaland and the amount of money exorted Richy4:
Firstly, he doesn't reside in Nigeria...He has been reading about the happening in Nigeria...
Secondly, If you check the statistics of people that resides abroad, and how they usually come back during the festive period, it has reduced dramatically especially in 2021..His fears are valid
Yes, terrorism is everywhere but we all have to be careful... It's also very cool if u can tell him that what he has been reading is not always how it was online.. That's what a dude can do for one another... We all wanted a solution for him...
I have seen a lot of phobias including the fear of going to the hospital...So yea, if u have some thing to tell that can help to achieve his goal, please say it..
Exactly ! To everyone his own. Just suck it up is not the solution. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by kasim155: 6:48pm On May 03, 2022 |
kingemaker:
It's a one off journey I presume. You could as well get adequate security or better still insist her people come over and all costs and logistics will be on you. If you truly value her, these options won't be a big deal That will be an insult to the family, because u want to marry their daughter they should come n meet u in ur place for the introduction and other marriage right. That will be an insult. 1 Like |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by RaptObserver: 6:59pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie:
Finally someone that understands my thoughts. I have googled Ondo State tire and the kind of reports I see are very distressing, the city is 1 hour away from Akure that has an airport and looking up Akure by air, it does seem like no airline goes to that place.
I spent hours searching for flights to Akure didn't see any.
Ofcourse I do love her and value her, but like you have said, living in Nigeria is like being in an active war zone and the risk of being on that stretch of road for 4 hours to and fro and about 3 times thats really making me feel discouraged. Go to the park and enter vehicles loaded at the park as an ordinary citizen and you will enjoy the journey. Don't ever travel on private car on Nigerian roads cos that is the main target of kidnappers. Secondly, travel in the morning. make sure u travel light. If u have to sent marriage items to her family just go to the park and charter a vehicle to deliver it alone as far as it is from park union got u covered |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by kasim155: 7:03pm On May 03, 2022 |
oldienavie: Thanks to everyone that commented, special thanks to those who took their time and provided very great suggestion on how to manage the risk. I think the suggestion of getting a police escort sounds very plausible, not sure why this didn't even cross my mind. My fear is about the risk of kidnapping and bandits on the road, I think paying for police escort will be the choice I will be going with. Once again, thanks to everyone for your suggestion. Now u are talking. Thumb up 1 Like |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by marcopollo(m): 8:19pm On May 03, 2022 |
I have the same phobia of traveling anywhere northern Nigeria. But when did you start to have this phobia? Before or after you met her? If before, then it means the phobia may not be as serious as you think. |
Re: About To Break Up With My Girlfriend Because Of Risk Of Travelling In Nigeria by Nekky5(f): 8:24pm On May 03, 2022 |
Wow!!!! what a reason. . . |