oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

Abobi your problem is bigger than you and you don't need to involved the innocent girl in it.
In just 3 months you have beginning to consider yourself better or more important than the girl. I think you are yet to open up on the real reason you want to break up with the girl. Anyway whatever it is make it fast before she gets too involved in your phobia palaver

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

ImpactBooks:
Well, In all fairness to you Op, having lived abroad for some time should be enough reason for you to be fearful of traveling on Nigerian roads. Your reason may sounds petty but he who wears the shoe knows where it pinches.

By the way, it's funny how some people regard Nigerian roads very fearful. Going by the nature of my job, I do transverse the length and breadth of the country by road more than anything. There is hardly any month I won't be on Nigeria roads for a minimum of two weeks: North-South-East-West. Infact, the last trip I made lasted 3 weeks as follows:

Lagos - Owerri

Owerri - Abuja

Abuja - Kano

Kano -. Minna

Minna - Abuja

Abuja - Calabar

Calabar - Uyo

Uyo - Benin

Benin - Abuja

Abuja - Lagos

All trips were made by ROAD to the glory of God. Infact, in the next one week, I will be on the road again for another two weeks as follows:

Lagos - Porthacourt

Porthacourt - Calabar

Calabar - Uyo

Uyo - Umuahia (Abia)

Umuahia - Enugu

Enugu - Abuja

Abuja - Kano

Kano - Kaduna

Kaduna - Abuja

Abuja - Kano

These trips will.be made by ROAD.

On a lighter mood, it's mind-buggling that an average Nigerian now has fear for Kidnapping than accident. In conclusion, what is very important is that one should have a positive mindset when planning to travel on Nigeria roads. More so, start your journey early in the morning so that you can arrive at your destination early enough.

Op, abeg na once man pickin dey die o. Go see your babe! If road dey fear you take flight. And if all these options no suit you, allow another man take control of the innocent girl timely enough. Last last, it's gonna be a win-win situation for both of you.

Cheers!

Slimdan360:

My question is what is so bad about Nigerian roads that would make op to develop phobia. Don't say kidnapping and terrorism cos a very large extent, these problems are not peculiar to Nigeria alone.

oldienavie:

Is it possible for me to tell her to bring her family to where I am ?
If you were the one your guy told you he loves you but he is unable to bring himself to travel to your parents because of the risk of the road (which by the way is a very valid risk) what would you do ?

To even think of bringing my family on that route and expose them to the dangers of the Nigerian roads even puts me in a difficult state....

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

oldienavie:

I know it sounds ridiculous, but the phobia is strong. I know how hard it is to come across good girls in Nigeria, at the same time the thought of being on that road, especially when it's time to bring my family on that journey kinda scares me.

oldienavie:

Finally someone that understands my thoughts.
I have googled Ondo State tire and the kind of reports I see are very distressing, the city is 1 hour away from Akure that has an airport and looking up Akure by air, it does seem like no airline goes to that place.

I spent hours searching for flights to Akure didn't see any.

Ofcourse I do love her and value her, but like you have said, living in Nigeria is like being in an active war zone and the risk of being on that stretch of road for 4 hours to and fro and about 3 times thats really making me feel discouraged.

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

blazingblender:
My friend go and sit down
Your girlfriend is the one who doesn't deserve you sef
You are having phobia travelling on Nigeria road
Asif the country you live in you guys fly around..
Secondly I believe the abroad you are even talking about may be one of this closeby African countries like Cotonou
Si if you don't come back home where do u wanna retire??
Or you think we living here are asshol*$?

oldienavie:
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is perfect, actually she is a virgin, well behaved and very respectful. The relationship is going very fine but I am starting to really think deeply and I may just break up.
Why ? I have lived abroad for a while and do have a very serious phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, her parents are a journey of 4 hours from where I am and I understand the area is rife with kidnapping and robbery of all sorts.

I find myself obsessing over having to make that trip to her parents place and also have my family embark on that journey and I always shudder at the thought of it.

I am seriously considering breaking up with her and looking for a lady whoose parents are here in the same city I reside, cos one of the things that gives me serious head ache is travelling on Nigerian roads.

Since I got back to Nigeria I have not travelled outside of the city that I am and it is because of how serious that phobia is.

But how do I tell her I am breaking up with her for this reason, it sounds very trivial but its a serious issue for me.

Loreettaa:
Cooooooks see this....
Abroadian phobia is worrying him

oldienavie:

You are missing the point, I have a phobia for travelling on Nigerian roads, I avoid it as much as I can. Infact I have been in Naija almost 6 months and am not planning to travel out of this city.
When going to Lagos I use the train or fly if thats an option.

Now to bring all my family on that route for an occasion like marriage, would mean I have to ply that road up to 10 times at least going back and forth with family.
That scares me.

frozen70:


My dear, I pity the girl but I blame the man not his parents

He is the one that will wear the shoe not his parents

If he realy loves her. He can bring her over there and the parents can do the needful on his behalf

Security is in God's hand not human

Slimdan360:

My question is what is so bad about Nigerian roads that would make op to develop phobia. Don't say kidnapping and terrorism cos a very large extent, these problems are not peculiar to Nigeria alone.

Richy4:

Firstly, he doesn't reside in Nigeria...He has been reading about the happening in Nigeria...

Secondly, If you check the statistics of people that resides abroad, and how they usually come back during the festive period, it has reduced dramatically especially in 2021..His fears are valid

Yes, terrorism is everywhere but we all have to be careful... It's also very cool if u can tell him that what he has been reading is not always how it was online.. That's what a dude can do for one another... We all wanted a solution for him...

I have seen a lot of phobias including the fear of going to the hospital...So yea, if u have some thing to tell that can help to achieve his goal, please say it..

kingemaker:

It's a one off journey I presume. You could as well get adequate security or better still insist her people come over and all costs and logistics will be on you. If you truly value her, these options won't be a big deal

oldienavie:

Finally someone that understands my thoughts.
I have googled Ondo State tire and the kind of reports I see are very distressing, the city is 1 hour away from Akure that has an airport and looking up Akure by air, it does seem like no airline goes to that place.

I spent hours searching for flights to Akure didn't see any.

Ofcourse I do love her and value her, but like you have said, living in Nigeria is like being in an active war zone and the risk of being on that stretch of road for 4 hours to and fro and about 3 times thats really making me feel discouraged.

oldienavie:
Thanks to everyone that commented, special thanks to those who took their time and provided very great suggestion on how to manage the risk.
I think the suggestion of getting a police escort sounds very plausible, not sure why this didn't even cross my mind.
My fear is about the risk of kidnapping and bandits on the road, I think paying for police escort will be the choice I will be going with.
Once again, thanks to everyone for your suggestion.