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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Properties / Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help (21794 Views)
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Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 2:52pm On May 14, 2022 |
Hello all, This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first. The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait. I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes. I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused. One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 2:54pm On May 14, 2022 |
If am completely my mom's house I be restarting it from the scratch, the only advantage is the land that's already available. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by blazingblender(m): 2:56pm On May 14, 2022 |
Dude build your own first Ask your mom to stay with you in the mean time Then call for a family meeting and then ask everyone to contribute for the completing of the family house Evn if your own will be the biggest atleast let everyone add something 217 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:06pm On May 14, 2022 |
blazingblender:I understand, but they are still in school one about to round up though. Nice submission sir 15 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by MrBrownJay1(m): 3:07pm On May 14, 2022 |
how many sibling you got? if you are an only child, build your mom's house 1st (it will be yours anyway at the end)....if not, build your 1st and let your mom stay with you in the mean time....OR start building on both equally (longer process) 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:09pm On May 14, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:we are 3 and yes am the eldest. |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by yuping(m): 3:14pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:this is not the time to be confuse oga build ya own house, your mother can come anytime and will be welcome but you see her house it belongs to everybody, you wil be drag for this in the end you have your own property. 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by 9182736455O1999(m): 3:14pm On May 14, 2022 |
We can't tell you which one you should build first but for me, i'll build my mum's first. 111 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:16pm On May 14, 2022 |
yuping:One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way. As for my mom she's aged already. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 3:27pm On May 14, 2022 |
. The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. You asked your girlfriend advice for something relating your mum A girl you met recently will tell you what to do regarding your mum? A girl you're sharing with different guys told you to discard your mum's happiness? What sort of men are we breeding these days? 301 Likes 25 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by yuping(m): 3:32pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:Nothing will make sense when you don't have your own property and the one you build for your mom will not be hers anymore, nobody will even consider you, but from the look of things you just want to do something for your mom. But the truth is with time you will not be able to visit there, when your mom is no more. 15 Likes |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:34pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216:I can't believe you actually booked space for this just to gather cheap likes Don't you think it's better for me to confide in an olosho I sleep with, than to come online to ask random people who some are demented lunatics like you who find every loopholes to ridicule people online. Kriss the whole nairaland knows you and your silly post, your Just a small boy who still feeds on mama thank you. The funny thing is your mates are out there doing better things for themselves, winning daily. 69 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:36pm On May 14, 2022 |
yuping:Why won't I visit my mother's compound? Something that is a trek able distance from where I currently reside. I was even there yesterday for a family meeting 5 Likes |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by yuping(m): 3:40pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:Time will tell. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 3:42pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:I'm glad you know me and how I'm trying my best in trying to emancipate silly boys like you from the shackles of that evil gender. Please my brother, never take family advice from a girlfriend. It's foolishness. Happy weekend. 106 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:43pm On May 14, 2022 |
yuping:Time won't tell my friend, if you come from a family who disregard mother side. We are not like that, if I tell you I still have access to my grandmother's compound you won't believe or my great grand father mother's compound. It's what oyibo calls extended family 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Smile4mee01: 3:52pm On May 14, 2022 |
Long before I built my mum a house on her land. I had finished 1 rental property and bought a few other piece of land. It was when the land was about to be taken that I finished it. Funny enough i live there for 1 yr before i left Nigeria. Listen to me. I beleive every man should Put himself first. Your mum has options. She currently lives somewhere, she has siblings. She has other children. The govt, church and community pity women. Life can be cruel on men, you did not mention your father . I.suppose he may not be alive just like mine. Don't be emotionally blackmailed oo. I know its.hard because of the connection we have with our mums. Worse case scenario. Build yours and give her a free flat in it. While you work on setting up your life for better. 71 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 3:55pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216:Okay, run along now to see if that boser you sunned outside is dry. I don't know you, I only see some silly post and shake my head like who born this one. 29 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 3:57pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:You don't have to insult me... advice is not a curse. Be guided please 28 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 4:01pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216:Are you tired? I'm giving it to you back wotowoto. Keep it coming, small boy. When grownups who have gone far in life are talking you are supposed to sit your assz down and learn not to run just to comment with your normal Simp line. looking for who to tag..it's staled already. This is a mature conversations for the elderly, na run along and go play with your phone. 37 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 4:05pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:I know why you're vexed...you believed your girlfriend is the best and you're not sharing her with anyone that's why you flamed up when I mentioned her. Calm down egbon, she's just a girlfriend not your wife yet. Don't give her too much opportunity to dictate what happens in your family. Treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend before you ruin your life. 111 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 4:08pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216:I asked a closed pal of mine, who is in his early forties, and he said almost same thing. I guessed you didn't see that. Don't you see how pathetic you sound? 27 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 4:11pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:I got no problems with you asking a man in his 40s, my problem is you asking a girlfriend. What nonsense? There are things you shouldn't ask a girlfriend until she turns to your wife. Stop giving these girls leverage to use against you. 106 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 4:16pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216:Boy call your English teacher and ask him the meaning of "fiancee and your normal "girlfriends" I might even be talking with a teenager, your post is giving you out big time. You reason so immature that's what annoys me on every front page just to gather likes. This my last response to you, I won't indulge any further. 30 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Biglittlelois(f): 4:17pm On May 14, 2022 |
Kriss216 the roasting and gbas gbos never do you? Thank God almost everyone knows you are an irredeemably slimy human Go and rest.... 30 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 4:18pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026:Fiancée is just a word devised by greedy and evil men to drill the kpekus deeper...chill guy. 61 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Kriss216: 4:22pm On May 14, 2022 |
Biglittlelois:Not today Satan, not today. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Biglittlelois(f): 4:27pm On May 14, 2022 |
13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by cavreek: 5:22pm On May 14, 2022 |
This ur situation is tricky and needs wisdom but just know that completing ur mother's house is a long term goal while urs should be short term. However, I suggest you get the land needed to build ur house and reason with ur mother pending on when ur siblings will be financially buoyant enough to help u. And if where she currently stays is not rented pls u know what to do 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by GboyegaD(m): 5:40pm On May 14, 2022 |
Barrister026: You make it sound as though it's a competition of who builds it. Please, don't put yourself under unsure pressure competing with anyone. That said, as for which one to build first, decide your scale of preference and follow it. The circumstance should dictate which one you should do first 11 Likes |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Nobody: 5:42pm On May 14, 2022 |
GboyegaD:No it's not a competition, it's just common reason every elder son of a family is supposed to reason. My younger brother can't complete my mom's house, then maybe later I start to drag with him, it doesn't sound right. Besides I want to complete it because it's been there for a long time now. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Complete My Mother House Or Build Mine First? I'm In Dillenma Pls Help by Magnoliaa(f): 6:30pm On May 14, 2022 |
You said other relatives do call her to come and clear some pests and snakes? So that means she isn't staying there presently? I don't understand that part. 2 Likes |
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