Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over with.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

Prettylitlady:
Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

What's your birthdate?

zexy2030:

What's your birthdate?

Why?

Prettylitlady:


Why?

Then you don't need an advice.

zexy2030:

Then you don't need an advice.

My birthdate has nothing to do with Advice, Drop one if you have any. Thanks

You'll get over him eventually. But, can someone say the words out of my mouth?

your current bf aint the "right" one, he is just the current toto warmer....but then again, what you have for the ex is genuine love/care, and as much as he is no good, you gave a few years of your life to him, thus it will take a while to get him off your skin.

TIME is all you need to forget your ex. so take your time and eventually you will find someone right for you.... but whatever you do, NEVER EVER go back to your ex.

Hmm I have been they before
The only way I got over her was to keep thinking about her
I thought about her to the extent that I became tired of thinking about her it became boring
She became normal
Anytime I want to think about her I will just feel bored
So I will advise you to just think about him
Don't try to force your self to stop cus it will make you keep thinking
Allow it flow till it becomes normal

Prettylitlady:
Why?

he probably thought you were HIS gf (undercover) and he just want to make sure that you aint, lol!

Prettylitlady:

My birthdate has nothing to do with Advice, Drop one if you have any. Thanks

This is the reason you can't make a good decision, foolish things becloud your senses. I pity u, if how you approach life, is being used to a pattern. You don't even have Idea of who u r chatting with. I wish u d best. Maybe others will advice you, as for me, I feel u r self opinionated, advicing you is a waste of effort. Because you won't listen.

MrBrownJay1:


he probably thought you were HIS gf (undercover) and he just want to make sure that you aint, lol!

See how insecure you sound. How does that relate.

zexy2030:
See how insecure you sound. How does that relate.

you are the one who is asking the OP irrelevant questions...as if her birthdate is of any relevance to this issue. she already said she was in her mid 20s, that should be more than enough info for you.

dont be scared, she aint your gf....or is she?!?!

MrBrownJay1:


you are the one who is asking the OP irrelevant questions...as if her birthdate is of any relevance to this issue. she already said she was in her mid 20s, that should be more than enough info for you.

dont be scared, she aint your gf....or is she?!?!

Did I ask of her age? As matured as you are, u r still dumb. I pity ur kids..they've got nothing to learn from you. Foolishness has been your template.

MrBrownJay1:


he probably thought you were HIS gf (undercover) and he just want to make sure that you aint, lol!

I swear.. He is asking as if he knows me personally

Olasyke:
You'll get over him eventually. But, can someone say the words out of my mouth?

Which words

Don't worry, you'll get over him with time.

MrBrownJay1:
your current bf aint the "right" one, he is just the current toto warmer....but then again, what you have for the ex is genuine love/care, and as much as he is no good, you gave a few years of your life to him, thus it will take a while to get him off your skin.

TIME is all you need to forget your ex. so take your time and eventually you will find someone right for you.... but whatever you do, NEVER EVER go back to your ex.

Thank you. I appreciate your contributions. So how do I know the "right" one

Sora f'obirin ooo.. Olorun a wa pelu e.

The things you listed against him are enough to encourage you to move on. The right man will come and please learn not to build your life around humans.

blazingblender:
Hmm I have been they before
The only way I got over her was to keep thinking about her
I thought about her to the extent that I became tired of thinking about her it became boring
She became normal
Anytime I want to think about her I will just feel bored
So I will advise you to just think about him
Don't try to force your self to stop cus it will make you keep thinking
Allow it flow till it becomes normal

Thank you. Truly it is hard to stop thinking about him. Maybe it will become boring with time like you said. Thanks

zexy2030:

This is the reason you can't make a good decision, foolish things becloud your senses. I pity u, if how you approach life, is being used to a pattern. You don't even have Idea of who u r chatting with. I wish u d best. Maybe others will advice you, as for me, I feel u r self opinionated, advicing you is a waste of effort. Because you won't listen.

Who are you please

zexy2030:
Did I ask of her age? As matured as you are, u r still dumb. I pity ur kids..they've got nothing to learn from you. Foolishness has been your template.

you ask for the date of her birth, so YES you are asking for personal information that is irrelevant to you (or this thread)... we can only assume that you want to confirm that she is/aint who "you" think she is... to the point where you got butthurt when she refused to give you her birthdate, lol!

Prettylitlady:
I swear.. He is asking as if he knows me personally

he thinks he knows you (or he believes that you are someone he knows) thats why he asked for your personal informations...in order to confirm whether you are "that person" or not. see now how he is throwing insults left right center, like a childish teenager who got grounded!

Prettylitlady:


Thank you. Truly it is hard to stop thinking about him. Maybe it will become boring with time like you said. Thanks

you are welcome
And I noticed that maybe you accepted your new boyfriends proposal because you wanted to get over your ex
And that's wrong
Give love some space and heal

Prettylitlady:
Thank you. I appreciate your contributions. So how do I know the "right" one

it will come naturally... his actions, your feelings towards him, the bond you have, the life you share and experience you guys have together etc....you cant order these things, and some people out there can be perfect and still not be the right one (for you).

the best thing to do is to live your life fully and enjoy whatever blessings you got....and dont focus on finding that person. if they come, great and if they dont GREAT AGAIN. its when you least expect it that it happens. most people who are desperately searching for "the one" ...eventually settle for the "other" because they are tired of waiting.

blazingblender:
you are welcome
And I noticed that maybe you accepted your new boyfriends proposal because you wanted to get over your ex
And that's wrong
Give love some space and heal

Yes that's true. It was like a rebound relationship to me buh he fell deeply in love and I don't want to hurt him at all considering he is a good guy too

Prettylitlady:


Yes that's true. It was like a rebound relationship to me buh he fell deeply in love and I don't want to hurt him at all considering he is a good guy too

well sympathy cannot keep a relationship going
You gats explain to him that you need some space he will understand

Prettylitlady:
Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over with.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

Never settle for less
With all what you listed, your ex doesn't worth your worries. It takes time to move on.
You will be fine las las

Uniquetani1:



Never settle for less
With all what you listed, your ex doesn't worth your worries. It takes time to move on.
You will be fine las las

Thank you for your contributions

Go back to your ex and leave the good guy alone.

Your present guy have already told you to leave him alone. So leave him,you don't love him

Go back to your ex. He owns you.

No matter the amount of guys you will meet he’s still going to be in your head forever. It’s a bond.

MrBrownjay1 said the current good guy is the “Toto Warmer” HAHAHAHAH

Silly boy

If you listed all these red flags and you still feel like going back to him, then you have a problem.

Please move on.

Being lazy means he may use you for rituals if his friends follow a similar path.

Beating you means if you return and you mess up, he will treat your mess up properly. He may even delay the beating to make you feel comfortable, then when your guard is down, he will descend on you mercilessly.

He cheats and that's okay with you? Like you could easily get infected because you have an attachment to an irresponsible fellow.

Is that the kind of life you would like to live?

Prettylitlady:


Thank you. I appreciate your contributions. So how do I know the "right" one

You have listed the qualities already and you are still asking how do I know the right one instead of where to find the right one or which other qualities are needed in addition to the ones you penned down.