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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Dignity Is Crushed (2064 Views)
Disappointed:nigeria Dignity Is Below Par / Married Men Who Cook For Their Wives Have Lost Their Dignity / Dear Ladies: It’s NOT Malice. It’s Dignity. An Open Letter (2) (3) (4)
My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 2:46am On May 15, 2022 |
I'll try to summarize. I recently came across good fortune, after lots of hardwork. The type that upscales your standard of living by a huge percentage. Good right? But the problem now is my spouse. For reasons known best to her, she doesnt want her family to have any idea of this. I understand times are wicked and you gotta be careful. I understand this. but the approach is what mesmerizes me. When they ask after us, she sometimes tell them we've not eaten for days. That we had to go beg for food etc. That somebody lent us piecemeal amounts etc to eat. That i'm sick and we cant pay the hospital bill. She even goes as far as asking siblings to send her recharge vouchers like 100, 200, etc. And sometimes sends her account number to them and beg for 1k, 2k etc. Now this puts me off because, in so doing she has dragged my respect to the mud. Probably they all now see me as a church-rat, no do-good. If you want to hide your finances, must you tell them that we havent eaten for days, and beg them to send you 1k to eat. It hurts my reputation alot. Not only her siblings, her friends and all. Did she think about the image of me she is portraying by doing such? I'm really cnfused and it hurts me alot because you would think she's trying to be smart to save money. But the reverse is the case; cos she doesnt blows through money like hot knife through butter. The problem now is why she had to rubbish me inthe mud for this? I didnt ask for any of this. 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Nolimitz: 3:13am On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175:Talk to her, there's nothing we can do 7 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Nobody: 4:11am On May 15, 2022 |
I can understand that times are tough and all, but this is wayyyyyyy too extreme ... Tell her that... If people ask about your well-being, there's nothing wrong in telling them "we're fine" or "we're managing" or "God is helping us", those details are not necessary!!!! What she is doing is ruining your image in the eyes of her friends and family ... And what's a man without a sound reputation? .... 12 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by gaby(m): 4:37am On May 15, 2022 |
Jesuuuuuu-with my two hands for my head. Are you worried about your image when you should be more worried about your life, well being, and destiny? What a wife, woman, sister, and a being. This is the height of ingratitude and what life, nature, and the owner of it all detests the most. Ingratitude is a huge negative force and a positive repellant. I'd be more worried about your finances and source of livelihood going forward with such a mindset of ingratitude. Gratefulness and gratitude unlock doors of encompassing prosperity while ingratitude and u gratefulness are an aberration to life and prosperity. For your good and in your general interest, help her to change this mentality ASAP. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Karleb(m): 4:48am On May 15, 2022 |
I can't even be friends with people that think like your wife. Dignity is very very important. You need to shout for that woman. You are her husband, so correct her. 2 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Bluntguy: 5:29am On May 15, 2022 |
Oga you don't know her people more than her. Let her be. When they grant their people access to you you cry about how they are exposing you to their people. They try to protect you from them you complain of how they are not allowing their people come near you. You don't know what her family has been demanding from you behind you which she may not want to reveal to you. Wait until that your little success begin wane na that time you go kota sign. 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by oilmane(m): 6:43am On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: There's power in our tongue, stop her b4 she uses her tongue to call poverty into your home, remember the spiritual controls the physical. 6 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Candidlady: 6:51am On May 15, 2022 |
Going bout begging is something icant do. As a lady it can never happen. But idoubt this your story. You can't be that made or seeing enough mula and your so called wife will still go bout begging for 100 naira top ups . Anything to paint women bad. 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Candidlady: 6:55am On May 15, 2022 |
oilmane: See believe No matter how dangote, Elon musk, otedola, and even my pop shouts/screams/says they poor ibet their tongue would go powerless. She is using her tongue to call poverty See it is Sunday morning Do have a lovely Sunday service |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 8:41am On May 15, 2022 |
Bluntguy: Everybody knows Dangote is rich but can everybody access him for help? if you followed me you'll notice, I have no qualms with concealing your finances; but the method is what I frown at. It's one thing for her family to demand, it's another for me to give in. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 8:42am On May 15, 2022 |
Candidlady: The story is legit; i assure you. 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by ambient: 8:46am On May 15, 2022 |
Your wife is seriously embarrassing you,what nonsense,was she a professional begger before? Pls caution her.she is not even grateful that things have changed for good. 2 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 8:47am On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by ambient: 8:50am On May 15, 2022 |
[quote author=himir42175 post=112847661][/quote] You don't have to,tell her to go and redeem your image in her family,while women are redeeming and hyping their husbands everywhere this one is muddying her husband's name...o chi! 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Aaaaarghmed(m): 9:55am On May 15, 2022 |
She stingy o..why is she making you look too poor. 2 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by cavreek: 10:08am On May 15, 2022 |
Pls there is a limit to things, caution her now and find out d main reason behind such behaviour Sit her down and explain how it hurts ur reputation and come to an agreement about how giving should be down. Learn to live within ur means as u can only give what u have and try not to over explain urself No matter how small u give there is a little respect that follows it 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by DontBullshitMe: 10:39am On May 15, 2022 |
Maybe she thinks you are wasteful. 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Chasegb(m): 10:44am On May 15, 2022 |
If only you know how lucky you are to have such a wife. “Oga dem dey hide dey grow”. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by dahmie2013: 11:19am On May 15, 2022 |
She is trying to prevent people from begging for money from you or her. Just ask her why she does it. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 11:29am On May 15, 2022 |
DontBullshitMe: Perhaps so; but I'm far more prudent than she is. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 11:31am On May 15, 2022 |
Chasegb:I dont think this is luck. At this rate; nobody would want to do anything with me in the furture; because they will think i'm too poor to the extent that i'll elope with their money. they wil think i'm living on borrowed money and stuffs. that's the impression she is creating which i dont really fancy 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by cooooooks(m): 1:45pm On May 15, 2022 |
Tell her: "Do not be ostentatious, but do stop begging". Lifestyle creep is a problem that keeps people poor. They assume that they are rich now, increase their spending, and never save (enough). himir42175: |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Mariangeles(f): 2:13pm On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: Since you claim she's creating a false impression that you don't like, what is keeping you from creating the one you like? Could it be that you're truly stingy and she's helping you out by making it easier for you, so that you don't have to give because you don't like giving in the first place? And now, you turn around to put the blame on her? Did you ever tried to give and she stopped you or didn't like it? Do you even need permission from her to give in the first place? Or you're only good at accusing? As far as I'm concerned, you and your wife are both in on the scheme. Our modern day Ananias and Saphirra! 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Chasegb(m): 2:19pm On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: I understand and just maybe she’s over doing it. Talk to her with an open mind then you would understand why she’s doing it. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Ishilove: 3:17pm On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175:Talk to her, not your Nairaland in-laws. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 4:35pm On May 15, 2022 |
Mariangeles: Without going into too much details, I am not stingy. You don't have to believe me though; but I'm not If I were, I wouldnt have created this thread in the first place. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by NoToPile: 5:08pm On May 15, 2022 |
Bluntguy: Thank you. She might have her reasons it might be extreme but she knows the people she's dealing with and why she's creating that impression. Though I don't fancy about lying about stuffs I would rather not say anything or just say we thank God for everything. I have actually seen people do this with the thought of "If I create the impression that I am lacking you won't have the guts to ask me for anything" and "By the time ai am begging you for 50naira you won't be able to beg me for 10 naira" You can talk to her and ask why she's creating the impression you guys are lacking. |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Mariangeles(f): 5:21pm On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: Then talk to her about it. Make her understand that that isn't who you are and it makes you uncomfortable. Even people wey no get shishi never lament reach your wife. Abi na she write the book of Lamentations ni? |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Richy4(m): 6:47pm On May 15, 2022 |
She is Sooo "poor in heart"... The good book says blessed are the poor in heart... But she's taking her own poverty literally to the next level What she's confessing about u guys feeding from hand to mouth might just start happening... There's no need or justifications for such negative confessions for real.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by frozen70(f): 9:33pm On May 15, 2022 |
himir42175: Whatever her reasons for behaving in such a dirty manner is no longer your business now Your business now is how to put a call through to all those people she lied to especially your inlaw Let them know that this call is on speaker and that you condemn what she has been telling them about uoir family as they are never through and that you want her to tender unreserved apology before you will a decision that she won't like Just stop at that junction When she wants to apologise, let her go back to her call logs and all those people she swindled and disgrace you as a man She will call them to ask them to apologise to your on her behalf for causing you shame ams disgrace by reducing you to a church rat Thats the kind of apology that will clear the mindset of those people who made those donations to her that you are not what she has been telling them to make money from them 1 Like |
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by fineboynl(m): 10:03pm On May 15, 2022 |
She is avoiding village people wahala. |
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