Chat me for counseling

Omo, the thread don long. Anyway, the best thing to do is to focus your mind on his negative behaviour towards you whenever you think of him. Think of how he used to beat and cheat on you. Go a little further and get some of his badly taken/ ugly pics( everyone has them) and look at it whenever his thought comes to your mind. Soon your mind will register him as not worthy of you and move on.

Hack your mind till it sink in. Works every damn time.

Don’t go back to your ex,don’t even try it, stay with your current boyfriend and give it time you will get over your ex

Prettylitlady:
Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over with.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

Babe, Just make a conscious effort to forget and delete your ex from your memory. He is in your past and you should teach yourself to "live with the past" and to "live in the past". The past is history.

Cultivate the habit of developing feeling for your new boyfriend because he is your future. The greatest mistake you would make to break up with your present boyfriend because of "crazy feelings" for ex that has tendencies and potentials to maltreat you right now. Your future is better than your past unless you want your past to mar your future.

MrBrownJay1:


then a simple :" whats your zodiac sign?" question, will do...

Perhaps, he doesn't want us to know that he uses zodiac to define the lady's situation

No be every girl get sense.

It's too bad you are one of them.

Bukola94:
that may happen between them, I hope I and my ex won't jam, if we ever meet again, I may cheat on my spouse.

Are u having similar issue

Prettylitlady:
Goodday NL members.. I am here for any matured advice I can get as I understand we have matured people here who can talk senses into my head and make me realise one or two things.

I am in my mid 20's, I dated my Ex for few years, we were both students then in one of the West Universities (graduates now) and I really loved him, it was true love I felt for him to be honest, he wasn't working, I don't demand for money from him or anything, I sell clothes, shoes, bags and do other small businesses while schooling, that's how I foot my own Bills and also give him money sometimes when in need. His family knows me, my family knows him like we were so much in each other(or so I thought). I saw no other guy except him, I built my world around him, we were best of friends as I am an introvert and really don't keep friends so he was my all.
Even though it was a tough decision to make, I had to break up with him due to the following reasons;
1. He has beaten me once and promised not to do it again but he still slapped me in every slightest provocation.
2. He wanted to go into yahoo yahoo. That's not the kind of partner I want, I want a legit hustler not a fraudster.
3. He sometimes cheats on me and I will forgive him always. He tells me I am the main while the others is just for cruise that every guy cheats
4. He suddenly started smoking and drinking due to friends influence I guess (Eew, I don't want that)
5. He is Lazy, always wanting big money buh doesn't want to work. I told him to Start from somewhere after our graduation no matter how little buh he won't heed.
6. He always talks dirty with his female friends even in my presence, I wonder what happens behind me.

I ended the relationship after so much talking, pleas and counselling hoping he will change but he didn't. I dated another guy 2 months later, I know nobody is perfect but trust me when I say my current guy is all I ever wanted in a man. But the truth is I really do not love him that deep, He treats me fine and all but I still feel something for my ex maybe because I was already soo used to him. My boyfriend has told me to go back if that's what I want because he doesn't want a divided attention. I know I can't break up with him because it will hurt him so badly and my conscience won't even allow me because he has done literally nothing wrong, yes we normally have our ups and downs but he hasn't done anything worth breaking up over with.

I just need advice on how I can get this my ex off my head for good. We don't communicate, I have deleted all his numbers, We have been separated for few months now but I still think of him every single day even when I have a good guy already. I don't know what is wrong with me pleasee

Good morning OP, hope you alright today? regarding your post, with your kind permission, I have some small contributions to make.
firstly I need you to understand that it is absolutely okay, to still miss your ex the way you do... this is so because the feelings and memories you had with your ex are still very fresh (I know it has been almost 2 months already since u broke up)... you see feelings do not just die, time is the only thing that erases feelings and makes memories fade...
what you are going through right now is simply because you didn't give yourself ample time to completely heal and do away with the feelings and memories you shared with your ex before going into another relationship... you can not get over an ex (you have dated for years, created and shared so much memories with, built your walls so high around him) by getting into another relationship with another man without taking adequate time to properly heal first... this type of things doesn't work with people who believes in love and the doctrine of sticking to a partner, it may work properly for some other type of persons...
OP I will conclude by suggesting that you stay with your current bf (it's better than being with a man that hits you) and not be bordered about the way you currently feel... with time that feeling will go away...
you also need to help yourself too, take a decision on what u want, stick to it and learn to train your thoughts to respect that decision regardless, and let time do the rest...

good luck....

Slynation:
I like your current guy, nigga doesn't want that drama, he already told you to "Go back to your ex if you still miss him... Perhaps you have been disturbing his ears with constant stories of your ex...

Once you have that notion that no one is indispensable in your life, thoughts like this won't come into play...Distract yourself and watch yourself moving on

She won't listen. They don't listen. If that ex comes again, he'll still sleep with her. Even ten years after today. She already created a special place in her heart for the thug. That's the kind of man most of them want. She met a more responsible guy but her thoughts are still on the one that disrespects her to the point of dishing her occasional slaps.

Pharaoh4rin:
Perhaps, he doesn't want us to know that he uses zodiac to define the lady's situation

the exact same way that... perhaps a person on a faceless forum do not want to give their personal informations to total strangers.

He beats you
He slaps you
He cheats on you
He's lazy
He started smoking and drinking

Do you think this guy has value for you the way you have value for him? Ask yourself this question
Because I don't understand the reason why you should go back into a abusive, toxic and maltreatment relationship. You are not built for that.
If he values you wouldn't have broken up.
Kill that feelings for him and focus on your life if you can't love your present bf.

Prettylitlady:


Thank you. I appreciate your contributions. So how do I know the "right" one

You don't,you will get the natural feeling when he comes,don't ever go back to your ex,his a time bomb awaiting explosion,God will help you

MrBrownJay1:


the exact same way that... perhaps a person on a faceless forum do not want to give their personal informations to total strangers.

E don do. Must you argue all the time?

What kinda redpiller is this sef

*Walks off*

luminouz:
E don do. Must you argue all the time?
What kinda redpiller is this sef
*Walks off*

shut up you E-fool... what argument are you talking about?! its called discussing an issue while having an opinion. if you dont like it then walk off and dont quote me, you ignoramus.

MrBrownJay1:


shut up you E-fool... what argument are you talking about?! its called discussing an issue while having an opinion. if you dont like it then walk off and dont quote me, you ignoramus.

I love your pain on this post. I pinched you to trigger to see how matured you are. The energy is delicious. It will warm my fowl eggs for a week.

Bye nigga

luminouz:

I love your pain on this post. I pinched you to trigger to see how matured you are. The energy is delicious. It will warm my fowl eggs for a week.

Bye nigga

mature?! abeg, go masturbate on someone else's post.

Prettylitlady:


Yes he was the one that deflowered me. How do I do that??

Since he deflowered you, there's a tie/bond between the both of you causing the emotional bond. As it is well known that sex goes beyond the physical. It involves emotional connection, spiritual connection through the exchange of body fluid and blood

If you are a Christian that attends a living church. Kindly go for a deliverance to break the emotional ties/bond.

And if you are not a Christian you can do accordingly to what is takes in your religion to break the ties.

From your own end as well, delete his contacts and any means of communication between the both of you.

Free yourself intentionally from his thoughts that could be growing in yours mind and at the same time. Give yourself some times before having anything to do with the opposite gender in order to heal your soul, body and mind.

hardon1:

Are u having similar issue

lusting for my ex, we dated for good 6 years. But I have to let it go

Bukola94:

lusting for my ex, we dated for good 6 years. But I have to let it go

If you love him so much... Why let him go

hardon1:


If you love him so much... Why let him go

hot temper, anger issue and only get angry easily with small things. But very caring, responsible, loving and an introvert and extrovert. So simple, intelligent and interesting to be with, God fearing and hardworking. The relationship just crash and I find it hard to let it go.

This OP seems like a good woman. Its rare to find them.

But then, naturally women tend to be more attached to men that abuse and treat them harshly. This is why good men are perpetual loosers.

The new boyfriend should man up and leave the relationship because if OPs ex decides to get in touch with her and succeeds, it's over. I have seen this scenario play out alot. Its usually a good guy catching a falling knife( broken woman) ...treat her well and heal her broken heart, only for the bad guy that shattered her to surface out of no where to snatch her away again.

Good men are loosers.

Wow!!! Never knew this got to front page. I just came online now and saw many mentions and comments. I will definitely read and go through it all. I appreciate y'all contributions honestly. Thank you

Cutehector:
A woman can never ever remove the part where she gives her man money...she will always boast about it . That is why i can never collect financial help from a woman .the whole world will know that she gives her man money when they break up..mchew..

Lol, I didn't mention it to boast, like I said I give him sometimes not all the time, I didn't mention the amount or anything. Just added that part here so NL people won't think it is because of his money I was with him and then start insulting me.... I don't go out telling everybody that I gave him money, I am not like that

TheSociopath:
I don't know if OP will see this comment, but if you do, please never go back to your ex. I use God to beg you, please. Even if later seems fine and he has money and all, please do not go back.

Mo fi Olorun be eh

Seen, thank you for your Contributions

Bukola94:
[color=#990000][/color]
Believe u me, I am in the same situation. Though I am married. We dated for more than 6 years, I still have feelings for my ex, my first love. Eventually we broke up. I will advice u to move on with the new guy, please don't compare them, be thanking God for showing u the true colour of your ex and the red flags he exhibit. He will never change. Learn from cases of spouses beating themselves to death. There is a recent case of domestic violence which lead to the death of someone. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. You will regret it, if you go back to him, you may never be happy and it will be too late. My own case is complicated, if not because God 8 divorce, we will have go our separate ways.

I am sorry but you are confusing me. Did you go back to your ex and married him and now regretting?? Is he the one you are currently married to and wish to divorce Or you get married to a new guy entirely and regretting it

Prettylitlady:


Lol, I didn't mention it to boast, like I said I give him sometimes not all the time, I didn't mention the amount or anything. Just added that part here so NL people won't think it is because of his money I was with him and then start insulting me.... I don't go out telling everybody that I gave him money, I am not like that

but nobody asked you if you did give him money. You just needed worship and praise from strangers. Keep it to yourself

Cutehector:
but nobody asked you if you did give him money. You just needed worship and praise from strangers. Keep it to yourself

I already said why I mentioned it. If you can't read and comprehend then the gtfo please

Connected1:
No be every girl get sense.

It's too bad you are one of them.

K

MrBrownJay1:


he probably thought you were HIS gf (undercover) and he just want to make sure that you aint, lol!

Nigerians!

zexy2030:

This is the reason you can't make a good decision, foolish things becloud your senses. I pity u, if how you approach life, is being used to a pattern. You don't even have Idea of who u r chatting with. I wish u d best. Maybe others will advice you, as for me, I feel u r self opinionated, advicing you is a waste of effort. Because you won't listen.

Savage!!

Prettylitlady:


I swear.. He is asking as if he knows me personally

Not really. I think it's something that has to do with astronomy. You know people's personality can sometimes be linked to their birth months.


For instance, people who are born April are mostly known to be extroverts and has no time to worry themselves with little things like this.

Prettylitlady:


I am sorry but you are confusing me. Did you go back to your ex and married him and now regretting?? Is he the one you are currently married to and wish to divorce Or you get married to a new guy entirely and regretting it

got married to a new person but I can say I really regret it, but we don't have anything in common and misunderstanding as been happening in the marriage between father in law and mother in law.