Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by womenareapez: 12:02pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
IamMobisola:
Everybody is ambitious, there is no man or woman in this life that is not ambitious in life. She chose the second job because it pays higher than the first one and she gets a higher position. The guy doesn't want her going far away from him so that he can keep an eye on her which speaks Insecurity . He is her boyfriend and not her husband, he doesn't have any right to make decisions for her. If they were married then she would need to stay close to her husband but their relationship was barely three months when he told her to not take the second job because it is far from him.
The reason why he mentioned that she was ambitious was because she said the second job was like a promotion for her in her career plus the higher salary. That's why he said that I perceive you are a woman! Danm why did I even continue this conversation with you ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) What make you instantly comes up with this conclusion when you haven't heard the other side of the story Typical mentality of a vagina entity, they don't think logically. Don't mention me you vagina entities ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) 2 Likes |
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Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Connected1: 12:04pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Shugargal:
With all due respect, You guys should stop making marriage a priority or do or die thing, that's why many women fall into wrong hands just because of marriage pressure. Life is more difficult now when you're broke. Where in my statement did I tell you marriage is a priority in life. When too many persons say they need shelter to avoid rain/heat from falling on their heads, then we assume it's a necessity in life. Too many unmarried women complain about husband's scarcity, now tell me what we have to say? From my experience with my family and the women of the society, I believe it's every woman's dream to be in the arms of her dream man. Not getting married won't make you less of a human but I have seen unmarried women secretly wish they had husbands like their peers. Just imagine, you will have no companion, no one to give your headaches and bill for money too. Marriage is good for women oh. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by HopeNeverDies: 12:05pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
A joke right?
Nope!!! Damnn!!! It's not a Joke. I'm being serious. Have you been in that kind of position before ? |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by bukatyne(f): 12:07pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
HopeNeverDies:
Nope!!! Damnn!!! It's not a Joke. I'm being serious. Have you been in that kind of position before ? @bold: Why would I be in such demonic position? 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Glozaglobal: 12:09pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
gaby: I would have said to hear his side of the story before passing judgement.
However, if it is indeed as you have narrated here, I wonder what it is you are disappointed in when it is clear as day that you are dodging a missile here.
Dude is clearly a narcissist and isn't hiding this fact one bit.
This kind envy and jealousy na witchcraft own...
He doesn't deserve you....
Dude is no ‘’narcissist’s’, dude is in love but knows what goes on in the corporate world in Nigeria!!! Corporate prostitution, as the MD’s or Chairmen of most companies in Nigeria are sleeping with both single and married women in their organizations. Poor corporate practise that goes unchecked. As they feed on the women's ambition (or what do you ladies like to call it), use what you have to get what you want. Women in Nigeria are shameless!!!!!! The truth here is no one knows what hanty has done to get the offer and what price Hanty will have to pay to keep the offer. But bros perhaps wants to start a family with Hanty, but has from his experience of being in a managerial position pictured speeding of legs on large office tables and many hotel beds in the city. Ambition, offer, pay increase , benefits, promotions all come these days with paying a price. It’s sad the narrative looks like the man does not want the woman to succeed or progress but it’s far from it. He just wants to continue to date a good girl or marry a woman that’s for him alone and not a boardroom pass around. Think!!!!!! 5 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by womenareapez: 12:10pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
bigpicture001:
It's. Not complex. If. U understand women... This. Same lady here typing this story will dump him. On flimsy excuses when she settles with the. New job.. sh will want a man who earns far higher than him... That is how. Women think
Now ask yourself , who was her guy before sh started dating this high earning boifrend of hers.. yes.. sh be someone in the. Lower wage structure.. sh moved higher.. same way sh will also move higher with another man..
Women rate men only by what they earn.. if u don't believe this theory.. mark. My moniker.. u will. Later relate this with me in ur lifetime...
The guy did the right thing... What sh would HV done is to show the. Guy string desire sh will not change. Or dump him.. you said the purest truth and not everyone will believe this truth! The fellow men criticising this man are the reall low self-esteem poverty sinking men to that particular y tribe who will go so far to married their white grandmother as wife just for visa That op will never date anyman below her pay income and will probably dumb him in the future! This the man has seen and worked on it 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by meobizy(f): 12:10pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Yeah, right. Seun Must Chop. Seun Must Survive. |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by TheGift: 12:10pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
So sorry to hear this, but it’s better it is happening now than during marriage.
Before we married and even after, I have never discouraged my Wife from any thing that advances Her as a person. I need a partner that is solid. I need a mother for my children that is empowered , that has sense. My life has been better for it, sometimes my cash flow is better than hers sometimes Hers is better than mine.
I can’t be judged strictly by my bank account, but by my willingness and ability to handle my responsibilities.
Many Men imagine a marriage where they are always on top, whatever that means. But the truth is there is no guarantee that you will always be on top. Companies close down, people loose their jobs, people get pay cuts, people fall sick, sometimes people die.
In Nigeria men have a lower life expectancy, if as a Man you die before your wife, do you want to leave your children or your legacy in the hands of some broke woman who is not empowered?
My Sister, take it in good faith. Try not to fight. Try not to be bitter. Respect His choice. Respect yourself and move on with your life. Yes marriage requires some compromise but You should never be less of yourself for anyone else.
The one that can handle you will surely come. Amen. 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by chubbyswit(m): 12:12pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Candidlady:
While having this INEXCLUSIVE relationships with the MULTIPLE lab rats are they allowed to get intimate with em ? you are likely a bitter lesbian to hate men this much, reason why you have no shame calling your fellow humans lab rats. |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by HopeNeverDies: 12:12pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
bukatyne:
@bold:
Why would I be in such demonic position? Damnnnn!!! That's definitely not a demonic position. Well I can say, that depends on the type of Relationship you guy's have had. So wait, your u can't make sacrifices for your man or something? |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by SmartyPants(m): 12:13pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
bukatyne:
1. If you drop the competitive mindset, there would be areas you are better than her that she can look up to you. There would also be some areas she is better than you & you would look up to her. The idea of marriage is for both of you to harness all your resources and emerge better than either of you.
2. Good. There is a way ambition makes a person looks alive.
Fair points. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by TheGift: 12:14pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
womenareapez: you said the purest truth and not everyone will believe this truth!
The fellow men criticising this man are the reall low self-esteem poverty sinking men to that particular y tribe who will go so far to married their white grandmother as wife just for visa
That op will never date anyman below her pay income and will probably dumb him in the future!
This the man has seen and worked on it The person with the low self esteem is the one who . 1. Measures himself with someone else including His wife & 2. The one who needs someone to be lesser than Him in order to feel important. Sounds like you? Instead of telling His wife not to take the job why not go and get a better paying job, since that’s what His manhood is tied to? The answer is poor self esteem, and lack of confidence in His capacity to handle a strong woman. 3 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by ashawopikin(m): 12:15pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
The guy get problem 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by PlaYaJones: 12:15pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
julie90: I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.
Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.
Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.
I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.
I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.
This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.
Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious? ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by TheGift: 12:15pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
GreatVocalist:
It seems you failed to look beyond his words. I think the main problem here is the feeling that you don't think he's capable enough to fulfil his duties as a man. He offered to take care of the needs, and he didn't ask you to quit your job.
It's surprising how his feelings for you depreciated, right? Yeah, one of the things that attracts a man more to a woman is her ability to listen when he speaks. Your constant and firm rejection of his suggestions doused the fire. He even suggested you took the first offer which wouldn't take you far from him. Meaning another reason is he didn't want you to go far from him, he treasured the closeness. Yet, you refused.
He was perturbed with the thought that you would hardly listen to him on important matters if he had decided to get to the next stage with you. So to him, you chose your career over his authority as a man.
These are natural laws that God has set for humans. We can't change them. Sometimes, you have to let go of some ambitions to make things in life work out for you. A man who wants to be the lord of his house won't take in a woman who doesn't listen to him. I don't think it was really about the salary. If it was, he wouldn't have asked you to go with the first offer. Show me where God set a natural law that the Man must always earn more than His wife? Show me one? Please? 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by PlaYaJones: 12:16pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
julie90: I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.
Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.
Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.
I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.
I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.
This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.
Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious? are u lightskin? ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by cococandy(f): 12:16pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
He’s a destiny killer. Men like him are wicked. When you reject a better offer because you want to believe him that he will provide for you, he will still turn around in future and blame you for making yourself a burden to him. Run far away from such a person. There are men who will support your growth. That’s the kind of person you should be with . julie90: I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.
Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.
Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.
I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.
I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.
This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.
Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious? 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by womenareapez: 12:17pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
TheGift:
The person with the low self esteem is the one who . 1. Measures himself with someone else including His wife & 2. The one who needs someone to be lesser than Him in order to feel important.
Sounds like you?
Instead of telling His wife not to take the job why not go and get a better paying job, since that his what His manhood is tied to?
The answer is poor self esteem, and lack of confidence in capacity to handle a strong woman.
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Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by GloriousGbola: 12:18pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
cococandy: He’s a destiny killer. Men like him are wicked. You know coco don vex when she goes full Mummy Go ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by cococandy(f): 12:21pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
GloriousGbola:
You know coco don vex when she goes full Mummy Go ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) I’m annoyed because some support men who behave like this and then will turn around and talk about how most women are burdens bla bla bla. Like pick a struggle already ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 4 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by kwasoly(m): 12:22pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
julie90: I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.
Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.
Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.
I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.
I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.
This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.
Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious? Insecurity is bad!!! |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by seanwilliam(m): 12:22pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Believing women is the last thing for Me 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by cococandy(f): 12:22pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) I pity people who listen to you folks GreatVocalist:
These are natural laws that God has set for humans. We can't change them. Sometimes, you have to let go of some ambitions to make things in life work out for you. A man who wants to be the lord of his house won't take in a woman who doesn't listen to him.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Unshackled: 12:23pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Khoielvis:
Hypocrite. Ofcourse you won't be able to stomach your hypocrisy. C'mon get lost stop being emotional. Kiss the hard truth |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by cococandy(f): 12:24pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Thatwasepic: You have to find a trade off between your career and your life, don't sacrifice your life because of your career or you might wake up one day 40 years with no kids. You are a woman you have a biological clock. If you are in your 30s your chances of finding a high value man or the man of your dream diminishes by 50 percent from when your are in your 20s you might have to settle for less and that's where marital problems start, thinking you should have had better. Don't ever sacrifice your life because of a career is not worth it at the end . Good luck This man is her life? And what makes him high value please? 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Khoielvis: 12:24pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Unshackled: stop being emotional. Kiss the hard truth Hypocrite. Go and marry your road side girls |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Nobody: 12:27pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Khoielvis:
Woe betide your father. Iwo omo ale la sa n la San. Don't bother quoting me for the rest of your miserable existence. Oto Le jati jati Asewo olobo town council 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Khoielvis: 12:28pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Unshackled: stop being emotional. Kiss the hard truth Hypocrite. Go and marry your road side girls. |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by womenareapez: 12:28pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Connected1: Are you sure if you earn more than your future husband you will give him his maximum respect.
Men value respect more than Food, if you are certain you won't change then he's totally wrong. NB: how you treat those under you goes a long way here, if he had noticed you treating them very bad then he's right and understands how most women are.
It's very rare for a woman to respect a man she's above his level.
Most guys who go for women richer than them or above their class are golddiggers.
Personally I don't admire women richer than I am, even if she's madly in love with me, I value my sanity first, who get time to dae argue about equality and gender roles.
Mtchewww. not everyone will know this truth! Her last statement shows how disrespectful she will be to the man in the future ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) I know a lot of career women living in there 40s still looking for husband here and there but couldn't find and in a deep regret ! 4 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by deytoongee: 12:29pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
As much as I get the idea of this but how practicable is this? Can you totally exhaust all the possible future events and cover all of them especially within a limited time frame? Would you inform all three parties that they're in a love "rectangle" in this case? What if you don't find up to three people who have taken interest in you? How do you set boundaries with three people? How do you give all three people an equal playing ground when they are clearly different individuals with different realities? I'm really curious to understand this model of dating. Khoielvis:
When you start to date, do not date exclusively so you don't self assume that you met your soulmate just like that.
Start by dating inexclusively with up to 3 person's. Then discuss such issues early and watch each person's response and attitude during t hose discussions. Their response will reveal the best fit.
I've come to realize that in relationships, most people who come into our lives only come to waste time and take space. At the same time, hinder us from meeting more meaningful person's.
The same lady above would have ignored better person's while sticking with this only to meet this disappointment. Because from the onset, he was never the one, but a time waster
To move fast in thesedays where time is scarce, we must quickly identify people who only want to take space and waste our time and cut them off |
Re: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Got A High Paying Job by Unshackled: 12:31pm On Jun 03, 2022 |
Khoielvis:
Hypocrite. Go and marry your road side girls. Khoielvis:
Hypocrite. Go and marry your road side girls. you quoted me twice. You're beginning to lose control. |