Truthfully it is not the popular thing to do even if it seems normal or right. I believe it's already common in this part of the word(Nigerian) for a man to be financially better of relative to his wife or girlfriend as it serves as a measure to his worth,sad truth!!.
In the case of a woman her beauty or physcal features is the guage.

in this harsh economy of naija that tables can turn at anytime his saying u shouldn't work u beta don't ans him/ else ul end up marrying ur enemy who wish no progress 4 u www.cattylove.com

n this harsh economy of naija that tables can turn at anytime his saying u shouldn't work u beta don't ans him/ else ul end up marrying ur enemy who wish no progress 4 u www.cattylove.com

pocohantas:


The Nigerian man’s definition of submissive sure stems from a place of gross wickedness and anything evil you can think of.

The word you are looking for is pre emptive failure.

No plans to self-upgrade, so the only way it can work for him is if he has someone he has forced down

Lies

GloriousGbola:


The word you are looking for is pre emptive failure.

No plans to self-upgrade, so the only way it can work for him is if he has someone he has forced down

The online world is so funny and highly dominated by people living probably another life ... perhaps you people don't know r/ship is all about compromise & sacrifices,in these case both parties could not compromise and the man freed her how does it amount to force, did he blackmail her ?
A man must know what he wants, chasing career demands time, family requires time, unfortunately a big career alway comes with bogus task that demand time @ the expenses of the man/family, at the end of day you we hear, her money is her money naa the man go still dey foot major bills.
most times he won't be available, due to workload she will alway be tired, her salary is solely for her ... we must accept not all men can live with that, as long as he didnt blackmail or force her to stay the man did nothing wrong

reddingtonblack:



The online world is so funny and highly dominated by people living probably another life ... perhaps you people don't know r/ship is all about compromise & sacrifices,in these case both parties could not compromise and the man freed her how does it amount to force, did he blackmail her ?
A man must know what he wants, chasing career demands time, family requires time, unfortunately a big career alway comes with bogus task that demand time @ the expenses of the man/family, at the end of day you we hear, her money is her money naa the man go still dey foot major bills.
most times he won't be available, due to workload she will alway be tired, her salary is solely for her ... we must accept not all men can live with that, as long as he didnt blackmail or force her to stay the man did nothing wrong

Nothing in your post history indicates that you have started earning money or raising a family or providing support for anyone, so I'll pass on your attempts at advise

julie90:
I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

He knows he's about to lose you, he doesn't know how but he knows it is coming.

I wouldn't know how much you did to distil his fears but if above is not the case then maybe you better off leaving.

bukatyne:


I should show you my ring and a five years wedding certificate to prove myself?

You are a clown!

Let's assume I am nuts enough to show you, how do you prove my stand?

And this stand that seems strange, you don't know women offline who have standards?

I do know women with standards, but realistic ones. Yours is way too extreme for anyone to consider you seriously. If your man doesn't want you to work and he can take care of you and his kids, does that mean his ego is fragile or he is insecure?

OP has points but I'm not one who judges from ONLY ONE SIDE OF THE STORY

wagzy37:


Exactly! God bless you. Why would a man insult a woman by calling her childless. He's not in a competition with her. Only women shame themselves by using words like slut, barren, single etc.

Bro, they think with emotions. Most of the time, it's flawed.

You nailed it

Cc saintmary

Leave that man and run for your life

julie90:
I

run away from men like that, you are not married you have family to take care of.

God forbid! I will not break up with the half my heart Sweetplum because she gets a high paying job.Sweet Sweetplum are you in the house?

RichProminent:
God forbid! I will not break up with the half my heart Sweetplum because she gets a high paying job.Sweet Sweetplum are you in the house?

Sweetplum:

You are my joy.Do you know that?

Eprincess:
It is because of men like you that the world is still the way it is. This is the 21st century and a man is still bragging, " I can't marry a woman who is more ambitious".

It is men like you that will end up getting married to women with no ambition and when irritated, you get a divorce and start looking for an ambitious woman to marry.

What's wrong in getting married to a woman who is more ambitious, as long as you she respects you and fulfills her responsibilities as your wife.

Your mindset is weak... sorry

sorry dear I agree with him..that's the way most of we men are..we want to take the lead and run the home,not the woman doing so..u women starts getting annoying, defiance and rude when u take a step higher...don't reply me

Mikester:
I agree with him. It isn't low self esteem or whatever a pained mind chooses to term it. It is doing what you feel is right. He has his reason for leaving you. There was no love between you both in the first place. It was just casual dating which I personally deem to have no value.

I personally cannot marry a more ambitious lady because I know what marriage entails and that different minds cannot run a home successfully. Either she unites with me exclusively and follow my lead as a real woman should or she moves on. Else, why do we term ourselves as one body?

We all make decisions based on what we know and what we feel. He knows why he left you and no one here has the right to criticize him on that, besides I'm certain a lot who are criticising him here are the actual failures in the real world, hence the bitterness.

You've spoken well �

GloriousGbola:


Nothing in your post history indicates that you have started earning money or raising a family or providing support for anyone, so I'll pass on your attempts at advise

Your parent must have called i moved in, that was airtel fast

reddingtonblack:



Your parent must have called i moved in, that was fast

behave yourself before i tell your dad to off the gen and take your phone from you.

julie90:
I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

do you & accept whatever consequences. Humans are illogical and sometimes we can't put a perspective to an action because it basically doesn't make sense, but ok, it's what, it is, We meuve.

GloriousGbola:


behave yourself before i tell your dad to off the gen and take your phone from you.

cut the long talk, do you have difficulty pronouncing or spelling "Kid" which ?? love to see you try

RichProminent:
You are my joy.Do you know that?

I m just finding out

GloriousGbola:


behave yourself before i tell your dad to off the gen and take your phone from you.

@Julie90, stay away from that man forever.

I believe he felt insecured with your new achievement. I will be very happy if my partner earns as much as me cuz we will end up becoming a power couple in terms of finance.

It's not wrong for a lady to earn as much as a man as far as she will support in running the home financially.

As it stands, it has been a norm in this part of the world for men not wanting their partners to earn higher than them or up to their level.

It's quite wrong. As a man, I want a woman that will assist to lessen the financially burden in the home with me.

That's why women were created to be helpers.

Sweetplum:
I m just finding out

What do you say about it?

Khoielvis:




Okay,career women are problematice, why try to date from that mix. Why was it okay until the salary growth? Be objective brotherly. After devil, I fear career women,but this situation, the guy's motive no pure brotherly

Think about it bruh,
The highlight of that whole post is that she got an increase in salary, My speculations are, he realized that she was earning more than him and we know what happens when women earn more in MOST relationships.
Attraction diminishes slowly, only few women retain respect and love for their man in such a situation.
Now I'm not judging the female in this context cause it's not my business, I'm just stating observation from real life samples. Tbh I respect the dude for calling it quits regardless if y'all think he is insecure, hater, narcissistic etc. Bruh actually knew what he could handle

nastynic:


Think about it bruh,
The highlight of that whole post is that she got an increase in salary, My speculations are, he realized that she was earning more than him and we know what happens when women earn more in MOST relationships.
Attraction diminishes slowly, only few women retain respect and love for their man in such a situation.
Now I'm not judging the female in this context cause it's not my business, I'm just stating observation from real life samples. Tbh I respect the dude for calling it quits regardless if y'all think he is insecure, hater, narcissistic etc. Bruh actually knew what he could handle

So she should be static. That guy has serious personality complexes that needs psychiatric care. Same goes for every guy with such mentality. Anyone opposed to growth is a witch. Simple

pocohantas:


May I never be attractive to a man for my brokeness.

How does a broke chick glow up?

I knew some diamond in the rough chicks in school, plain looking becuase no money.

You meet same chicks a few years out of school, or just see their WhatsApp and you're like whoa!.

It's just empty naija male talk.

I love ambitious determined women with a goal who are loyal to the development and establishment of the family. If the ambition is self centered then wahala go dey. In this case. I presume you are the former and not the latter.

GloriousGbola:


Nothing in your post history indicates that you have started earning money or raising a family or providing support for anyone, so I'll pass on your attempts at advise

Kai! This is cold sha.

GloriousGbola:


behave yourself before i tell your dad to off the gen and take your phone from you.

And you had to add this? Hahahahaaha

Khoielvis:




So she should be static. That guy has serious personality complexes that needs psychiatric care. Same goes for every guy with such mentality. Anyone opposed to growth is a witch. Simple

Did he beat her? Did he cheat?
Bruh broke up quietly,
He knows what he can handle and a career woman is not one of them simple