Kobojunkie:
Such things are meaningless in a partnership.

Did your mother pay your fathers grooms price? Yes or no?

blinking001:

Did your mother pay your fathers grooms price? Yes or no?

Like I said...Such things carry with them no more than the symbolic meaning they were meant to have in a partnership.

For instance, do you tell your business partner that because you paid the business registration fee when registering the business, you are not really equal partners?

Kobojunkie:
I never did any of that.

Instead, what I continue to do is point out to you to even a good portion of non-feminist complaints fall under the same two categories which you ascribe manly to feminists invalidating your claim. Basically, since both feminists and non-feminist related complain fall under those two categories, it is wrong to assume that feminism has anything to do with what you accuse the women of.

The "good porti0n " came from imaginary Nairaland threads, and you me and other sane people to subscribe to your bogus reasoning that's not even robust enough to cover 1/10000000th of what happens in reality ? Lol...abeg no disturb my mentions with your joblessness

Kobojunkie:
Such things carry with them no more than the symbolic meaning they were meant to have in a partnership.

For instance, do you tell your business partner that because you paid the business registration fee when registering the business, you are not really equal partners?

I asked you a polar question that requires a yes or a no for an answer.

Jashub:
The "good porti0n " came from imaginary Nairaland threads, and you me and other sane people to subscribe to your bogus reasoning that's not even robust enough to cover 1/1000000000 of what happens in reality ? Lol...abeg no disturb my mentions with your joblessness

Imaginary threads? Right here in romance section alone you mean these issues are all imagined?

Basically, what you are insinuating is the average Nigerian has IQ greater than that of the average posters here in Romance section?

blinking001:

I asked you a polar question that requires a yes or a no for an answer.

Yes, he paid the bride price which was symbolic.... or was that not clear in my retort?

Well not married, but dating a feminist. They are the best kind of women to be with, that if she is truly a feminist. Not the hypocritical ones we all dislike. My ex, for example, does take me out and pay for herself, or for us sometimes. She recognized my struggle as a man and doesn't even believe in nonsense such as patriarchy, because she is aware of and acknowledges her female privilege.

We dated when I was in uni, and of course, broke like hell. She made my life far easier in school, as she will bring all kinds of food stuff from her mother and grandmother and land at my place. She is a good person, feminism or not. Also, many of these so-called feminists are just fronting, they usually melt when real men show up, especially when they won't tolerate that toxic feminism.

She does domestic stuff since it's one of the ways she can show that you love and cares for me. I will probably call her the type of feminist that was preached in the 90s, the older, matured, and humane version, not the idiots that populate feminism now. She even hates what feminist has become these days and will rather call herself an egaliterian. If you meet this kind of woman, then go ahead and marry her.

Kobojunkie:
Yes, he paid the bride price which was symbolic.... or was that not clear in my retort?

Anyhow you want to rationalise your father paying your mothers pride price, reality won't change the fact that he paid your moms bride price wether it's symbolic or not.
If your father paid your mother's bride price and he still saw his marriage to your mom as some sort of partnership then I'm afraid your father was emasculated by your mom, its evident in your views about marriage that your father was a looser.

blinking001:

Anyhow you want to rationalise your father paying your mothers pride price, reality won't change the fact that he paid your moms bride price wether it's symbolic or not.

No attempts made here to rationalize anything since my own parents taught me it was paid as a symbolic gesture and not meant as an actual purchase of the woman as a slave by the man.

Kobojunkie:
No attempts made here to rationalize anything since my own parents thought me it was paid as a symbolic gesture and not meant as an actual purchase of the woman as a slave by the man.

Your father cooking, cleaning, providing and doing the dishes didn't make him a slave to your mom?

blinking001:

Your father cooking, cleaning, providing and doing the dishes didn't make him a slave to your mom?

As I already explained to you, theirs was a partnership, not a master/slave relationship.

Kobojunkie:
As I already explained to you, theirs was a partnership, not a master/slave relationship.

Okay. so your father doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning, washing your moms clothes and providing for you all is a consequence of the partnership between him and your mother and not a slave/master thing right?

Pierocash:
Don't try entering a relationship with a feminist,not to talk of marriage. They are cursed with ego ,and will never submit. They act like you are both dragging for supremacy.

This is exactly what my ex does... And in d end sh told me she is feminist.... Just like u read thier book

blinking001:

Okay. so your father doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning, washing your moms clothes and providing for you all is a consequence of the partnership between him and your mother and not a slave/master thing right?

Do you understand what a partnership is? A partnership is such where no one partner bears all of the burdens. There is a huge divide between a partnership and a master/slave relationship.

So. My dad did chores, and so did my mum. He provided for us and so did my mother etc.,

pansophist:
Well not married, but dating a feminist. They are the best kind of women to be with, that if she is truly a feminist. Not the hypocritical ones we all dislike. My ex, for example, does take me out and pay for herself, or for us sometimes. She recognized my struggle as a man and doesn't even believe in nonsense such as patriarchy, because she is aware of and acknowledges her female privilege.

We dated when I was in uni, and of course, broke like hell. She made my life far easier in school, as she will bring all kinds of food stuff from her mother and grandmother and land at my place. She is a good person, feminism or not. Also, many of these so-called feminists are just fronting, they usually melt when real men show up, especially when they won't tolerate that toxic feminism.

She does domestic stuff since it's one of the ways she can show that you love and cares for me. I will probably call her the type of feminist that was preached in the 90s, the older, matured, and humane version, not the idiots that populate feminism now. She even hates what feminist has become these days and will rather call herself an egaliterian. If you meet this kind of woman, then go ahead and marry her.

My ex possessed all this traits u just mentioned and says sh is feminist.. buy sh spoilt her with ego and never apologizing when sh is wrong and acting constantly like sh is dragging superiority with u.. okay not forgetting that from the first day sh start acting like sh is preparing for the last day...

E.g sh would never want Tru to HV anything on her .for example sh can never buy u gift. But if u do buy her. That same week sh will buy URS in return..

If u take. Her. Out..sh must find ways to take u out soon just to equalize...I find that strange and uncomfortable with it...


I really pray sh finds the perfe t understanding and rich man sh always. Seek

pansophist:
Well not married, but dating a feminist. They are the best kind of women to be with, that if she is truly a feminist. Not the hypocritical ones we all dislike. My ex, for example, does take me out and pay for herself, or for us sometimes. She recognized my struggle as a man and doesn't even believe in nonsense such as patriarchy, because she is aware of and acknowledges her female privilege.

We dated when I was in uni, and of course, broke like hell. She made my life far easier in school, as she will bring all kinds of food stuff from her mother and grandmother and land at my place. She is a good person, feminism or not. Also, many of these so-called feminists are just fronting, they usually melt when real men show up, especially when they won't tolerate that toxic feminism.

She does domestic stuff since it's one of the ways she can show that you love and cares for me. I will probably call her the type of feminist that was preached in the 90s, the older, matured, and humane version, not the idiots that populate feminism now. She even hates what feminist has become these days and will rather call herself an egaliterian. If you meet this kind of woman, then go ahead and marry her.

One question: was this your ex a Nigerian?

Nigerian feminists are bunch of wicked and hypocritical creatures with no sense of direction.

True feminism have been rubbished today. Fela's mum was a feminist, but her ideology of feminism was quite different from the nonsense we have today.

98% of Nigerian feminists are Wickedist.
No wonder their senior colleagues like Mercedes ekwu who saw the rubbish in their yeye ideology always rush to get married before it's too late.

If Nigerian girls can live up to the true meaning of feminism, I'm sure a lot of us will want to date feminists.

I'll never marry a feminist. Never

Kobojunkie:
Do you understand what a partnership is? A partnership is such where no one partner bears all of the burdens. There is a huge divide between a partnership and a master/slave relationship.

So. My dad did chores, and so did my mum. He provided for us and so did my mother etc.,

Your father wasn't a high value man. No high value man allows his wife to share in the responsibility of providing for his family. now this is where you got it all wrong.

Your mother perpetually washing your dads clothes, doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning etc didn't make her a slave to her husband. she was only fulfilling her own part of the bargain.

Your fathers portion of the pie was to ensure he provided everything your mother needed, including her emotional needs and to ensure the family never lacked anything.
Marriage isn't a business organisation. Too bad you were raised to see it that way.

blinking001:
1. Your father wasn't a high value man. No high value man allows his wife to share in the responsibility of providing for his family. now this is where you got it all wrong.

2. Your mother perpetually washing your dads clothes, doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning etc didn't make her a slave to her husband. she was only fulfilling her own part of the bargain.

3. Your fathers portion of the pie was to ensure he provided everything your mother needed, including her emotional needs and to ensure the family never lacked anything.

4. Marriage isn't a business organisation. Too bad you were raised to see it that way.

1. Your "high value" standard is meant for fathers who are insecure in themselves. My father isn't one of those..

2. As I explained, she was a partner in her marriage so she definitely didn't care what insecure folks thought of her or her marriage as well. And you must understand, raising kids is 70s/80s/90s Nigeria, there were lots of insecure beings who felt it their place to dictate to others how their marriage ought to work instead. None of that dettered my folks in anyway..

3. For the umpteenth time now, what they had was a partnership, not a master/slave relationship. So, you claim here's makes little sense as far as the reality of their marriage.

4. That is exactly what a marriage is like. It is a contract/ an agreement between a man and a woman. Those who understand the basics of what that mean go on to experience the best of marriage, irrespective of gender.

The business which you invest your time and efforts into building and maintain is your family, you and uour your are both owners and employees who ensure the company is run successfully.

Kobojunkie:
1. Your "high value" standard are meant for fathers who are insecure in themselves. My father isn't one of those..

2. As I explained, she was a partner in her marriage so she definitely didn't care what insecure folks thought of her or her marriage as well. And you must understand, raising kids is 70s/80s/90s Nigeria, there were lots of insecure beings who felt it their place to dictate to others how their marriage ought to work instead. None of that dettered my folks in anyway..

3. For the umpteenth time now, what they had was a partnership, not a master/slave relationship. So, you claim here's makes little sense as far as the reality of their marriage.

4. That is exactly what a marriage is like. It is a contract/ an agreement between a man and a woman. Those who understand the basics of what that mean go on to experience the best of marriage, irrespective of gender.

The business which you invest your time and efforts into building and maintain is your family, you and uour your are both owners and employees who ensure the company is run successfully.

Partnership exist in a marriage when the man is of low value.

blinking001:

Partnership exist in a marriage when the man is of low value.

Given that you grew up watching your mother serve your father, this rather than live as his equal in life and stand, I can understand why an equal partnership in marriage is hard for you to fathom.

Neither my father nor my mother considered themselves of low value. They never considered such meaningless classifications as it only applies to those who struggle with their identity as individuals.

Kobojunkie:
Given that you grew up watching your mother serve your father, this rather than live as his equal in life and stand, I can understand why an equal partnership in marriage is hard for you to fathom.

I can say thesame for you. Since you grew up watching your father serve your mother, i can understand why having a high value man for a father is difficult for you to fathom.

blinking001:

I can say thesame for you. Since you grew up watching your father serve your mother, i can understand why having a high value man for a father is difficult for you to fathom.

See what I mean?

I never said I grew up watching my father serve my mother since that never happened. You can't seem to wrap your mind around the Idea of a partnership in marriage, can you? Because in your understanding if the woman is not serving the man then it must mean the man is serving the woman. It is hard for you to imagine that instead of a woman serving a man or a man serving a woman, the two can both exist as partners, companions with a shared goal and life.

For the umpteenth time, I never had a "high value" father since he never subscribed to such idiocy. He was confident as a man and a father,and raise his children to be as well.

Kobojunkie:
See what I mean?


I never said I grew up watching my father serve my mother since that never happened. You can't seem to wrap your mind around the Idea around what a partnership in marriage is because in your understanding if the woman is not serving the man then it must mean the man is serving the woman. It is hard for you to imagine that instead of a woman serving a man or a man serving a woman, the two can both exist as partners.

For the umpteenth time, I never had a "high value" father since he never subscribed to such idiocy. He was confident as a man and a father,and raise his children to be as well.

Your father was confident as a man to serve your mother and still provide for his family. Hold on a sec, is your father serving your mother now a crime? Are you shifting the goal post already?

Reading all the commentaries i can deduce is best to avoid marrying a feminist because of the back and forth arguments on whether its should be done this way or that way. I feel it should be one direction.

I once was attracted to a girl only to find out she's a feminist and I had to leave. Surprisingly she didn't want me to leave but she didn't play d emotional or sentimental card in asking me to stay.



But again I have few observations, could be wrong though

1. Most feminist especially the toxic once are born as a result of ill-treatment gotten from men, so the want to get back at men by attempting to be men so the can enjoy the privileges and of course avoid the responsibilities of men and most notably to spite me just to get back at them

2. Most feminist who are genuinely angry, sad and mad at men would usually give in to a loving strong willed man

3. Most feminist that an average reasonable nigeria man would frown at are those born out of bitterness and frustration. And the ones that bring their feminism into the family. Most men don't have issues having female as their superiors in the office or workplace or society at large. But in the family structure the man is the boss, the authority and is in charge.


Again no here as answered why feminist in this our clime are mostly unmarried, most don't have suitors, men run as soon as the see the feminist in them I want pro feminist here to answer this

blinking001:

Your father was confident as a man to serve your mother and still provide for his family. Hold on a sec, is your father serving your mother now a crime? Are you shifting the goal post already?

Again...See what I mean?

I never said I grew up watching my father serve my mother since that never happened. You can't seem to wrap your mind around the Idea of a partnership in marriage, can you? Because in your understanding if the woman is not serving the man then it must mean the man is serving the woman. It is hard for you to imagine that instead of a woman serving a man or a man serving a woman, the two instead both exist as partners, companions with a shared goal and life.

Pierocash:
Men don't submit. Submission is for women not men. If you have lost your identity,real men have not

Correct!
Women are to submit to their husbands in everything. Total submission.

Men are to love and respect their wives
As Christ loves the church and gave up His body for it.

Ephesians 5 vs 22-33

For any marriage to work, it needs love, understanding, cooperation, tolerance and compromise from both partners.

Feminism will mean you sticking to one ideology that'll make you not wanting to shift ground. Naaaah! Life is dynamic not static. No relationship thrives on rigidity. Treat every life issues as they come and remember, if you care about the other partner, you'll most probably be inclined to doing things that won't hurt them. That's how to sustain a marriage.

I think men run away from feminists, especially the very toxic ones, because they'll never submit. Men love to be respected, it's an ego booster for them.

My cousin is a feminist married to a Simp. The other day she slapped him for a misunderstanding they had and the simp of a husband kept mute.

Op, see you see fire!

There's no feminism in marriage.

Kobojunkie:
He had no problems doing chores, if that is what you are asking. He even taught me how to cook om several occasions..

This corroborates my earlier assertions that your father was a low value man. You're a complete evidence of how growing up in a dysfunctional family looks like.

Your father didn't only serve and submit to your mother like the emasculated dog that he is, but he also served and submited to the authority of his manipulative daughter, a characteristics only weak and low value men possesses. He clearly lacked testosterone. No wonder positive masculinity scares the living daylights out of you since it's a phenomenon you never experienced as a child while growing up.

Your father taught you how to cook, a duty your mother clearly neglected. How do you rationalise your father doing the dishes in his own house? It's never a slave/master relationship since it's your father that is doing the dishes but if the gender are switched then it automatically becomes a slave/master relationship. Lol

I'm quite certain that while he was teaching you how to cook in the kitchen, your mother was probably in the parlor watching TV.
Your father never taught you about gender roles because he was too busy doing the dishes and licking your mothers boot.
Don't be like your mother, turn a new leaf and be a proper/ better woman to your man if only you can ever have one.

Novemberaura:
Is there anyone here married to a feminist lady.

I need inputs.

What are the challenges and benefits. Is it really as awful as people say it is

Why do feminist ladies end up not married or have failed marriages.

Benefits:
Support in every area

Challenges: They try to dominate every argument, decision making etc