Thantayo:
So in summary... you value court wedding(which is just paper and signatures) over your potential husband and you are ready to be single again till you get that paper?

Why not ask her to just pack into the man's house and assume the title of a wife? Oga, it is not just paper. It is a legal identification of marriage. If the value you have in your man is all thar counts, why do people bother getting married? Why do you guys give women all the wrong advice just to bend thier will? A man vehemently rejecting court marriage is a huge red flag. He doesn't want to have constrains. You wouldn't accept that if you were a woman.

Persephone1:
Last I checked she wasn't holding a gun to his neck for marriage. Why call her name because she seeks advice.

She's a bitch that's all I know...

The young man is wise

FahBuLous:
She's a bitch that's all I know...

The young man is wise

Hope you are not already low on your medication.

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Because when you hoth travel out of the country, getting papers through oyinbo will be difficult for you both. You will have to pay huge amount of money to get divorce papers here while you are abroad because you will need to present the divorce papers before you can get a white man or woman to give you green pali or residence permit. So take the traditional marriage like that, as that's the most important one. Ire o

Mindlog:


Hope you are not already low on your medication.

Keep crying, I have said what I said and there is nothing you can do about it kid...

FahBuLous:
Keep crying, I have said what I said and there is nothing you can do about it kid...

Okay, Mzee.

FahBuLous:
Keep crying, I have said what I said and there is nothing you can do about it kid...

Okay, Mzee.

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

He doest trust you enough. He is just trying to take necessary precautions so he doest get fvcked up like some women do other men. We seen it a lot. You can't really blame him much. If you love him then why not marry him the traditional way? With time he will trust you in the marriage because he seam like a realistic kinda guy

60% of Nigeria women didn't do church/court marriage except for the traditional one with is most important.

If you cant deal pls give him back the ring and everyone move on the next persons but if you must continue then be ready to accept his decision wholeheartedly.

satandeterrible:

Only a very foolish man will opt for court wedding when he intends to travel out with his spouse.

How many stores do we read here day on day out about men that have been rendered homeless and penniless by their Nigerian wives abroad.

When in Nigeria, the act like innocent, little princesses. Once you marry her in the court's and travel out, she transforms into a devilish tigress.

Your man is an indeed very wise man.
From the look of things, your plan is to ride on his finances to travel out of the country, then after some time, rape him in the divorce courts.

You are very wicked and demonic.
Tell me, why are you insisting on court wedding if not for your devilish and evil intents.

God will punish you pig.
May God help that man not to marry a wicked and scheming devil like yourself

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Pls relax your mind and plan the wedding that he wants

A time will come he will know the value of registry, especially regarding Change of name in documents and other related things

For you to do change of name in national ID, obtaining a passport and bank modification with change of name and documents for visa processing you need marriage registry certificate

By then he will know that he shot himself

Just go ahead with the traditional marriage

I don't care about his fears about court registry

If he is genuine, he shouldn't be acting funny

Marriage is an institution that is difficult to understand and govern. And there is never a formula for a successful marriage. You just have to both work it out as you go. Atleast this is what I have seen so far. How can two people be together for over six years and yet you don't have a definite marriage process to work with. What have you guys being doing over those years. I guess just sleeping with each other regularly without no proper plan for the future. Pls you guys should just stop the marriage and go your separate ways if after 6 years, both of you cannot do a marriage that you can agreed to.

etrange:


Why not ask her to just pack into the man's house and assume the title of a wife? Oga, it is not just paper. It is a legal identification of marriage. If the value you have in your man is all thar counts, why do people bother getting married? Why do you guys give women all the wrong advice just to bend thier will? A man vehemently rejecting court marriage is a huge red flag. He doesn't want to have constrains. You wouldn't accept that if you were a woman.

But the man and woman would have no constraint, so why are you talking like it only favours the man?

MadarasBlade:


But the man and woman would have no constraint, so why are you talking like it only favours the man?

Because the society/culture already gives the man the upper hand. He can wake up tomorrow and decide to kick the woman out and nobody will do anything about it.

etrange:


Because the society/culture already gives the man the upper hand. He can wake up tomorrow and decide to kick the woman out and nobody will do anything about it.

And the woman can also wake up the next morning and decide tp quit the marriage and no one will do anything. So you see.

MadarasBlade:


And the woman can also wake up the next morning and decide tp quit the marriage and no one will do anything. So you see.

How can you compare what you just typed with what I typed? Did I mention quiting the marriage? I said "kicked out". Women are the ones that normally get kicked out from the house when there's an issue. You hear things like "I'll send you back to your mother's house" once it's no longer rosy.

etrange:


How can you compare what you just typed with what I typed? Did I mention quiting the marriage? I said "kicked out". Women are the ones that normally get kicked out from the house when there's an issue. You hear things like "I'll send you back to your mother's house" once it's no longer rosy.

This is not a time to argue.

When two people are bound by law, it affects both of them just as when there's no constraint, it favours both of them as well. Stop making it look like it favours men only.

MadarasBlade:


This is not a time to argue.

When two people are bound by law, it affects both of them just as when there's no constraint, it favours both of them as well. Stop making it look like it favours men only.

You are the one that just wants act blind and argue. Stop pretending as if you are not African. In the absence of any law to bide them, the man has the laissez-faire in Nigeria. You and I know this. Why do you think the OP's fiance doesn't want the court wedding? I just gave you a reason above, you ignored it and came back with 'it's not time to argue'.

etrange:


You are the one that just wants act blind and argue. Stop pretending as if you are not African. In the absence of any law to bide them, the man has the laissez-faire in Nigeria. You and I know this. Why do you think the OP's fiance doesn't want the court wedding? I just gave you a reason above, you ignored it and came back with 'it's not time to argue'.

And in the presence of laws in the western countries, women hold more power, you and i know this, or why do you think the OP wants a court wedding?

beautyhd:


Don’t wanna discourage you, that dude is up to something fishy.
He has plans for the future you aren’t aware of.

lies from the pit of hell. Man is just been careful with his life before tomorrow he will end up in front page of nairaland complaining about how his beloved has changed.

DeusMagnus:
lies from the pit of hell. Man is just been careful with his life before tomorrow he will end up in front page of nairaland complaining about how his beloved has changed.

Simple.

MadarasBlade:


And in the presence of laws in the western countries, women hold more power, you and i know this, or why do you think the OP wants a court wedding?

That's another argument. Have you accepted that in the absence of the law, men have the upper hand?

I don't do directionless discussions. You guys always do that when you are cornered. I argue that in the absence of such laws, men have the upper hand. You said that's not true. We can move to what happens when the law is in place, but that will be after you've accepted that my statement is the reality. Let's not chat for the sake of sounding smart. Let's separate concerns and put logic before emotions.

I'd gladly tell you how it works in the western world cause I live here. I'd also remind you that millions of Nigerians have court marriage already. So if court marriage actually gives women the upper hand, then it would imply women have the upper hand in all these marriages. But then again, that's after we've agreed the initial bond of contention.

etrange:


That's another argument. Have you accepted that in the absence of the law, men have the upper hand?

I don't do directionless discussions. You guys always do that when you are cornered. I argue that in the absence of such laws, men have the upper hand. You said that's not true. We can move to what happens when the law is in place, but that will be after you've accepted that my statement is the reality. Let's not chat for the sake of sounding smart. Let's separate concerns and put logic before emotions.

I'd gladly tell you how it works in the western world cause I live here. I'd also remind you that millions of Nigerians have court marriage already. So if court marriage actually gives women the upper hand, then it would imply women have the upper hand in all these marriages. But then again, that's after we've agreed the initial bond of contention.

Ok.

MadarasBlade:


Ok.

Better.

MadarasBlade:


And in the presence of laws in the western countries, women hold more power, you and i know this, or why do you think the OP wants a court wedding?

If the guy ends up getting married there or have a baby mama, the same law is applicable and so he is better off staying back in Nigeria where he is to a large extent, protected.

Mindlog:


If the guy ends up getting married there or have a baby mama, the same law is applicable and so he is better off staying back in Nigeria where he is to a large extent, protected.

Or travel alone.

MadarasBlade:


Or travel alone.

That is what I meant, travel alone and when he feels ready, start a family there with a local either as a wife or baby mama thus eliminating the talk of "after I suffered to bring her from Nigeria".

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Return the ring. Two cannot walk except they agree. If he says no court wedding then respect his wishes just as you expect him to respect your wishes too. You should have discussed this with him before spending 6 years with him. It makes me wonder what you have been discussing and doing for 6 solid years when in just 6 months you could have obtained this information and moved on. You just wasted your time.

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Six yrs and so what?

Court marriage and traditional marriage which is more important in African society?

More over, you Nigeria's woman cannot be trusted for you love reaping where you do not sown.


Why are you insisting?
Is there an ulterior motive behind your insistence?

cococandy:
if the potential husband doesn’t value her enough to commit without keeping one leg out, then she should definitely value that piece of paper more than him. It’s not just a piece of paper

Yes is not just a paper but an instrument to oppress a man on the other side of Atlantic.


Very smart man, never trust a Nigeria girl especially when they cross to the other side.

efficiencie:


Return the ring. Two cannot walk except they agree. If he says no court wedding then respect his wishes just as you expect him to respect your wishes too. You should have discussed this with him before spending 6 years with him. It makes me wonder what you have been discussing and doing for 6 solid years when in just 6 months you could have obtained this information and moved on. You just wasted your time.

I think BIM that six years the man saw somethings that made him to be skeptical court marriage.

etrange:


Because the society/culture already gives the man the upper hand. He can wake up tomorrow and decide to kick the woman out and nobody will do anything about it.

And so with the western woman, she can just wake up one day and divorce the man leaving him stranded.

wis3:
I'm not one to so but he's probably onto something. So he wants to get married but not make it official

How do you want to marry and not do court registration or wedding? Something definitely is not right!

You will even need the court certificate of your marriage to be able to travel. That is the main legal document, the embassy considers before you can be granted visa.

I advice that you stand your ground for the security of your marital future.

By the way, how can you date a man for 6 years? It's a waste of time and life! How old are you ma? I really wish you well.