Younger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve ever been in generations, and it’s probably going to get worse.

This is not my typical rosy view of relationships but a reality nonetheless. Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people. And while you don’t actually need to be in a relationship to be happy, men typically are happier and healthier when partnered.

Here are three broad trends in the relationship landscape that suggest heterosexual men are in for a rough road ahead:

Dating Apps.
Whether you’re just starting to date or you’re recently divorced and dating again, dating apps are a huge driver of new romantic connections in the United States. The only problem is that upwards of 62% of users are men and many women are overwhelmed with how many options they have. Competition in online dating is fierce, and lucky in-person chance encounters with dreamy partners are rarer than ever.

Relationship Standards.
With so many options, it’s not surprising that women are increasingly selective. I do a live TikTok show (@abetterloveproject) and speak with hundreds of audience members every week; I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.

Skills Deficits.
For men, this means a relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities, less patience for poor communication skills, and longer periods of being single. The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love. Emotional connection requires all the skills that families are still not consistently teaching their young boys.While there’s probably no chance of stemming the rising tide of unintentional single men, there is still good news.

The algorithms are becoming increasingly more complex on dating apps and other online platforms. One benefit is that great matches are on the rise. Hinge, one dating app, found through beta trials that 90% of users rated their first date positively, with 72% indicating wanting a second date.

How can men reap the benefit of the algorithms? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap. It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively. It means seeing intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.

Ultimately, we have an opportunity to revolutionize romantic relationships and establish new healthy norms starting with a first date. It’s likely that some of these romances will be transformative and healing, disrupting generational trauma, and establishing a fresh culture of admiration and validation.Men have a key role in this transformation but only if they go all-in. It’s going to take that kind of commitment to themselves, to their own mental health, to the kind of love they want to generate in this world. Will we step up?

siofra:
A redpiller who's miserable and lonely will come here to and try to threaten nairaland women with spinsterhood and Shiloh. Wonders shall never end

Romanoff:
For a woman who is financially stable and is not driven by hunger to settle for anyhow guy, yes, I agree.

fman:

How many women are financially stable.
All of them are into billing.
Na client them dey hustle for.
We know the matter

Romanoff:


Change the women in your circle. You are obviously dealing with very young and unemployed women.

Jennyclay:
Just imagine A man without a job, house, car, business and money is professing love to me. Nawa oo!! Who wants to settle for less with Mr Nobody, Am i going to eat Love? Sir put your love inside your pocket. Biko.

Personally, I'm allergic to broke and poor men. Their wahala is just too much!!

Jennyclay:
Just imagine A man without a job, house, car, business and money is professing love to me. Nawa oo!! Who wants to settle for less with Mr Nobody, Am i going to eat Love? Sir put love in your pocket. Biko.

SarutobiEky:
you yap too much. It's unattractive af.

siofra:


I wonder if this applies to romantic relationships in Nigeria too because as for me, I'm not settling for any ashy, emotionally immature guy like these redpillers.

Jennyclay:
Please keep quiet!

Just saw your profile now, You've been looking for a cheap phone to buy. I hope you've bought the cheap phone already?

Your mate are buying iPhone 12 and above you're here looking for cheap phone to buy. Mtchheew!!

Broke men everywhere!!

Jeon:


The reason why I love Simps

BenDo63:

Jeon dear, have you recovered from your rape trauma?

Jennyclay:
Please keep quiet!

Just saw your profile now, You've been looking for a cheap phone to buy. I hope you've bought the cheap phone already?

Your mate are buying iPhone 12 and above you're here looking for cheap phone to buy. Mtchheew!!

Broke men everywhere!!

Jeon:


The I experienced from ur dad right?

Jeon:


I heard that your dad love rapping and inserting his fingers into his little neices. The nephews are not safe in his presence.

BenDo63:


You cousins raped you.. accept the reality.. it shouldn't make you into a beast that get aggressive at everything male.

Infact I really sympathize with you.

Like I always say to you.

A lot of things can happen to certain people when it comes to the issue of culture, Islam and Allah.

The other day, a Muslim was complaining that his sisters and mum were taunting his wife because he did not choose from one of his cousins or neices to marry.

I cried for him.

The day I knew they forced some cousins on you so you might be forced to pick one as your man, I also quietly in me sympathized.

Don't let the rape trauma eat you up dear

siofra:
A redpiller who's miserable and lonely will come here to and try to threaten nairaland women with spinsterhood and Shiloh. Wonders shall never end

BenDo63:
You can't threaten my Jeon with Spinsterhood and Shiloh... Never.
She is a Muslim... She cannot go to Shiloh
They will force her and one of her cousins to marry

Jeon:


All I knew is that I was raped by ur Daddy that happened to be the follower of Jesus with your mom that also claimed to bear the Cross of Christ on her forehead who was the masterminder.