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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily (42097 Views)
The Cousin My Mum Brought To My House Has Destroyed My Son / My Childhood Was So Bad ...am Now Depressed / I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job (2) (3) (4)
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My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ablemed: 6:57pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I'll like to make my story short as possible without much introduction tho. And also a lesson parents/ new couples should learn from my ordeal, Pls read to the end. Alright So I'm the only male born of my parent among 4 girls, i also happen to be the last born at it. my problem started when growing up, cause my parent aged bfr getting a Male child which was my Dad and his parent cravings, I was pampered when growing up such that my parents would never watch me do stressful things, dictate when I go out and who I moved out with (My mum's own was even worse cause when growing up, if I want to go out, she'll always send me back inside) even during secondary school they had to get a school very close to our house. my sisters were only the ones that would go to mum's shop and make sales while mum would either stay with me at home or if I eventually go the shop sef I'll always sit and just watch. Literally, I'll say I was denied the right to be exposed to lotta things and real issues about life. And cause I was not the sociable type cause I'll literally stay at home, watch movies, eat and my movements limited, I was exposed to pornography and masturbation at a very young age and I battled that bad habit thr my University days (Did I say my Parents also dictated the University I went to cause it was close to our House to and any small riot in school then the next hour they'll come and pick me back home till every thing dies down) So guys over time, I've grown to be this boring guy who is shy, timid, suffering from low self esteem and can't give vibe even when gisting with my fellow guys, in which most of them just relegate me to this small boy level. Did I also say I've never had a Girlfriend all my life cause the truth is ion always know what to say or how to maintain talking vibe. At first I decide not to care and just always console myself with I was created like that and just continue my boring life, it has now gotten to the point I'm not rated in anything at all, most people just make friends with me cause of what they can gain from me, I'm not even good in anything, I can't speak clearly, I'm kinda literally mentally dumb and ion see me useful for anyone or anything, perhaps maybe God only, No business sense, no work skill or experience, no trade experiences to I'm currently a Corp member serving and before then I rebelled against my parent cause they wanted to dictate the state I serve which is our state of residence so I go to my ppa from home but I told them No and even got to a fight to my Dad cause of this issue and we din speak for like 2weeks, he eventually called me and we settled. But the issue now is guys I've got less than two months left for my POP for service and you don't expect me to return home useless to my parent house again?? Tho sincerely thr my service year, I din touch my allowee so I've saved up to 270k so far. the issue is ask me what I want to do with the money? I've got no idea, what business sense or idea? Nothing is coming to my head, infact I don't know. The funny thing is, my roommate is exactly my opposite, very outspoken, bold, full of vibe and bring back different female friends each day, this guy is not really financially buoyant but you see girls cook and travel all the way to give him for us to eat. I just wish I was like him, i wish i had the vibe ![]() I'm 24years now and at this age, no idea bout my future, bout life, I can't even relate with people, I'm just so sad, depressed and frustrated. At the moment the only job coming to my head is the military cause I served in a military barrack cause I choose it myself but most of the junior officers are trashing my interest by telling me not to waste my time say I no go survive am with my nature, that military needs tough people and endurance bla bla and on the other hand, my mum is saying Never she'll never allow me join the military not over her dead body and she's bout recruiting my Dad to and Sincerely I'm frustrated and my depression have taken another turn that over the past weeks I've been thinking suicide and it's getting really high, I say I should type this here bfr the worse happen cause if I can't be useful for myself what really is the point living?? Please this advice is to parent and intending parent/couples, pls and pls expose ur children to life, don't over pamper your kids, work on them to make them sociable and outspoken, I swear you'll be doing them a great favour. For me I thought my parent loved me, I thought they were trying to protect me but they've put me in a deep mess I have to face alone and just I pray I get the opportunity to make things right with me ![]() 180 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Tonypen247(m): 6:58pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
If there is one thing I picked from the whole explanation you made is that you are self-aware and conscious of your current state. That is a positive side of helping yourself out. The truth remains that you are no longer a kid and it's high time you decide to create a meaningful life for yourself. I will employ you to seek the help of a therapist if you can afford one or just take a bold step to turn a new leaf. You can get this done by constantly believing in your potential and ability and never looking down on yourself. You are not too old, not young to learn a skill. Engage in activities that will promote your well-being and confidence and never believe that you are not old enough to take decisions for yourself. Finally, your parents are not the cause of your current state of mind. You are only trying to project your shortcomings and backdrops to them and don't want to blame yourself. The first bold step is being a man of yourself. Man up bro. It is well. Avaliable for your academic research assistance; assignment, assessment, proposal, statement of purpose, etc. 324 Likes 19 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ablemed: 6:58pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Can therapy work for me?? isn't it to late at 24years of age?? I just finished calling mum now and accused her of everything that has happened to me, I told her I don't want to hear from her, not anytime soon. I've tried calling my Dad to but his line is switch off, I just wanna cut both of them off, They put me in this mess that I have to fight alone now ![]() 11 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Michelle70(m): 6:59pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
It was painful reading this. You are just an unfortunate guy who was bullied into being timid by the same people that were suppose to help build ur self esteem Parents should learn that their actions and inactions have consequences that may affect the life of their children. I dont know what to say to advice u but let me call mods to help u seek more help 85 Likes 6 Shares
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Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by TheWorldNearEnd(f): 7:05pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Sad. May you find peace. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Michelle70(m): 7:13pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: i think its very immature of me to say this but i hate ur parents. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by gaby(m): 7:19pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Sad to see how parents try to live their own lives and dreams through their children and end up traumatising or outrightly destroying these children's lives in the process. 85 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Lonestar124: 7:26pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I wish this is WhatsApp I can advice you in length with voice note... Before I go further don't join any military and village people compelling you to become a military man I rebuke them in the name of God...............you can say amen to that if you want.... Now listen fella, don't be depressed bro, you are still young for that, thank God you were able to save 270k, that is huge and can sustain you for some months, if you decide to leave your parent house, you can rent a room and start your life from there, make friends bro, it is important to some extent... I don't know what you studied in school, and possibility of you getting job, but you have start somewhere, that is leaving your family partially and hustle for yourself......don't be timid, you can get yourself a monthly work for a start.... Be bold, just step in and you find out in every impossiblity there is always possibility.... 74 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ulunne777(f): 7:26pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
They meant well even though they did it the wrong way.Forgive them and focus on the solution to it. Military is a no no for me though unless you are a northerner.We can't be sacrificing our able southern man in the name of Nigerian Army coupled with the fact that you are an only son which takes us back to square one of what they were avoiding. Find one skill that interests you and start learning. 83 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Lonestar124: 7:29pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ulunne777:Not only for that but for the fact he is the only son of the family..... 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Michelle70(m): 7:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ulunne777:If military interest him, i think he should go for it. He is broken and he should be adviced to go for what he finds joy in. If u finds joy in what u do, happiness will come at no cost, but if u do not like what u do, it will just break u down fully until u feel like there is nothing to lose in this life. Believe me, that feeling is deadly 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Blue86(m): 7:33pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Just two months with the King of kings, and He will show you what you were made for. I am speaking of Jesus Christ. You are still young. Do not waste your youth, seek the Lord. Ablemed: 41 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Kiddogarcia(m): 7:34pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
You'll snap out of it soon,life has a way of teaching everyone. You'll naturally bend to harsh teachings of mother-earth, soon na you go dey ask yourself, shey na me don change like this. Na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement tho 11 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ablemed: 7:35pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Lonestar124: Making friends is not issue, the thing is even you as a person, a boring friend will bore you out that's just how my relationship with my friends are atm, I've got no vibe to maintain a discussion. in short I'll literally bore you out and that's just my case. About work, I bet you any manager will sack me after 2weeks or a month highest, there are some ethics that i'm seriously lacking Bro I swear you won't and can't understand me 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Michelle70(m): 7:40pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:i really understand what u are going through. Find something that interest u, and build a career in it. If u dont have anything that interest u, then i suggest u to watch videos of "alux". Alux videos has a way of making u become aggressive in ur fight for success. You will see example of people that started like u 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Ablemed: 7:40pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Michelle70: They really did not shape me and groom me for Adulthood tbh and as a guy that I am, the society expect so much from me and I can't seem to find my bearing in Life. the funny thing is, my sisters are doing very well, bold, network and can handle business properly and I'm just opposite, it's quite depressing for me 6 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Michelle70(m): 7:44pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed:why do i feel so sad for u? Guy abeg try get girlfriend, at first it will be boring as fvck but when u both connect, she will always give u a reason to smile. The problem is now finding a girl from all these jezebels 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by detectivejones: 7:56pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I think its cruel for you to totally blame your parents for what happened and not share in the blame. For starters you were not home schooled. You went to public or private school which would have given you the opportunity to interact and build your social life. About learning a skill, job experience and other things that is why you have an android phone its everything at your disposal you can learn, read and watch things online that'd help you revamp your life. About the self esteem do well by speaking words of confidence to yourself. You can still get it right because you're young. And do not cut your parents off they deserve better. My 2kobo. 68 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Idonweak: 8:06pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
![]() Wow That was a long read. I'm not really good at giving advise. So just take it as e dey come. ![]() You and I have a lot common. I'm also the only son of my mum and dad. I lost my dad at a very young age which made my mum overly protective. I'm a year older than you and also Serving corps member. Corper wee Anyways, Firstly, I want you to forgive your parents. Honestly hating/keeping malice with them won't solve any of the problem you're facing. It's a good thing that you're self aware of the issues you have. Where you got is wrong is what you're doing right whining and complaining like a b!tch. Work on yourself. You're still young and it's not late for you. You can become sociable bro but it's not going to happen overnight. It's good you were able to save a little, I'll advise you find a business that will make you engage with people on a regular basis. These will improve your social skills in no time. Try to also work on your mindset as well as your esteem. If you're religious, find a church and join their workforce. If you can afford it go to the gym. DESIST FROM PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION. It will ruin your esteem and fuçk with your mental health. For now stay away from relationship. Just try to be friends with everyone till you begin to see positive change in your social life. In everything you do stop b!tchin. Get to work 45 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by NA1RALANDER(f): 8:16pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
In whatever you do, do not cut your parents off.. Some of dearly wish we had both parents alive.. What they did might not be the best.. but they wanted the best for you... Chart your own course but don't hate nor cut them off.. My 2 cents.. 25 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Hollykid: 8:16pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Learn programming 3 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Nobody: 8:30pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: You may not have had a good start but at least you're aware of your strength and weaknesses which is a good start so now is not the time to blame your parents...you're no longer a child and you still have time to chart your own course and take charge of your life...your parents did the best they could in their own way for you to even go to school and come up to this point means they have at least supported you...remember there are some people who dont have father or mother..now you're of age...you get to decide what you become 11 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Lonkeuo(m): 8:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Damn it |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by OgboniMan(m): 8:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ok |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Tayorshd2(m): 8:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I guess peter obi sides must have trained your parents in the past and that's why they brought u up wrongly ... I have a pistol at home i can lend you to kill them almost immediately ![]() |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by naijaguy123456(m): 8:31pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
They need to send you to IDP camp , ya eyes will clear ! 6 Likes |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by happney65: 8:32pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
I dont even think your parents disciplined or beat you when you were growing up. You know if they beat you, you will die or something will do you.. You know they were sounding woke. ![]() |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by wealthpreach(m): 8:33pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Ablemed: Stop blaming your parents, this is the time to turn around, learn something and become useful. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by worksmart(m): 8:33pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
SMH |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Bollinga: 8:33pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Dear Op, there are many people who are exposed to all these things you claimed you were denied yet they are not outspoken or sociable. You are just an introvert by nature. Stop blaming your parents. These thing has stages, soon you will out grow it. 45 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Parents Destroyed My Life In Guise Of Love, I'm Now Depressed Daily by Hndrrxxx(m): 8:34pm On Sep 13, 2022 |
Bb |
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