sunnyp20:
Till date my babe thinks I earn 120k. My basic is actually 510k. I no dey tell woman my correct salary o. Never

very good.

ednut1:
Sometimes you cannot tell your partner everything about your finances to avoid trouble and problems. The 50k may be for savings towards a project or to take care of some family issues. Your husband or wife may frown at you doing that but when they dont know the wahala is not there. Marriage and relationship in its simplest form is transactional

..
I love this take

OP, why do women always want to know the true financial worth of a man? It's really for billing purposes. There's no other explanation. In this modern era of feminism and high divorce rates, no sane man would want his missus to know his true financial worth. Women are very good at using this sort of thing against the men. Look at Slyvester Stallone. After 25 years of marriage, his wife files for divorce so that she can have access to his assets. You then wonder why men nowadays prefer baby mamas to full-time wives. Marriage is not an asset for men. It's a depreciating liability as the man can lose all he worked for in one go.

Women try to guilt trip men with the notion of "love and respect". "If he really loves me, he would never hide anything from me." "When two people marry, they become one". My dear, those words don't work with woke guys. Only SIMPS fall for that rubbish. You lots talk about love when it suits you. If the man you are with was not capable of financially taking care of you, would you give him your time of the day? You see the double standards? The best thing for any married couple is to have joint and separate accounts. Joint account for the family and separate account for personal purposes.

[quote author=Islandlady post=116298693] Whatever, as a woman I am entitled to have my personal money for upkeep and also to take care of my parents n siblings!

Case closed.
We know the type of lady the op is.
She wants to stalk up her own monies for herself, siblings and parent.(note, her kids not inclusive).

While use the husband's money to run the home-front. Like her husband doesn't have his own parents and siblings.

Pathetic!!!

This life is just complicated.
I was watching a program the other day where people are been screened before they enter into a country. A kid from another country though who got admission to learn English in that country was suspected and was interrogated.
When asked about his father's pay, the guy knew exactly what his dad earns.
He came into the country legitimately and was freed.
Imagine a kid knowing his dad salary but coming back home it's difficult for spouses to know that.

Anyway I don't know which side to be because I am not married. Everyone has a reason for their decision.

BRATISLAVA:


If a man should keep his earnings secret, why shouldn't a woman keep her earnings secret and refuse to pay any bills, too?

Your analogy doesn't click , "the man supposedly keeps his earning secret and pays bills and then you assert is same thing as woman keeping her earning secret and not paying bills".

Partnership in business is when the owners pull their resources together in order to make the business better. It is different from sole proprietorship where an individual takes decision necessary for the betterment of the business taking little consideration from his employees.

It depends on where the marriage is heading, is it a partnership relationship or a sole proprietorship relationship. If it is a sole proprietorship relationship the woman has no right to ask for the man's income but if it is a partnership she doesn't even need to ask all secrets will be revealed to her. That's how life works.

One can't expect to lay emphasis on padding the recurrent expenditure of the family simply because she doesn't know what it is to make money and make financial contribution to the home front and still expect that the budget will be accented to by the president in subsequent years.

In synopsis, a person who is ready is partnership is ready to be given top security clearance to all classified information.

Almost all male folks are truly afraid of exposing their salaries/incomes to their female relations or spouses.

No man wants a repeat experience in the Garden of Eden!

ExudeLoveToAll:


Your analogy doesn't click , "the man supposedly keeps his earning secret and pays bills and then you assert is same thing as woman keeping her earning secret and not paying bills".

Partnership in business is when the owners pull their resources together in order to make the business better. It is different from sole proprietorship where an individual takes decision necessary for the betterment of the business taking little consideration from his employees.

It depends on where the marriage is heading, is it a partnership relationship or a sole proprietorship relationship. If it is a sole proprietorship relationship the woman has no right to ask for the man's income but if it is a partnership she doesn't even need to ask all secrets will be revealed to her. That's how life works.

One can't expect to lay emphasis on padding the recurrent expenditure of the family simply because she doesn't know what it is to make money and make financial contribution to the home front and still expect that the budget will be accented to by the president in subsequent years.

In synopsis, a person who is ready is partnership is ready to be given top security clearance to all classified information.

Why should women be expected to pay bills and not also hide their incomes, like men are saying men should do, so that everyone in the relationship will pretend not to have money for things that need to be paid for? Or is it only men who know what it means to work for their keep?

Let everyone lie about their incomes, and nobody should complain that the other doesn't want to pick the bills.

Islandlady:
Whatever, as a woman I am entitled to have my personal money for upkeep and also to take care of my parents n siblings!

They will definitely be my kids but I need my personal money to take care of myself too! So that is why I will lend their father the money and collect it back! Simple

So your money will finish if you choose to help your man pay YOUR kids school fees? Why are women wicked like this? God abeg o

Tzar:
They lie because most Nigerian women are greedy & selfish parasites. They think all the guys money belongs to them, but all their money belongs to nobody else.
Once these kinds of Nigerian women decide to date you, your income is budgeted as part of their revenue.

Bro, u just make me laugh with your analogy

mediclife1987:


Then you'll never marry.
What you said up there about your sisters affected me with them till today. I just realized how stupid I've been revealing and helping them so far, by telling them how much I collect.
I remember then my brother acting the broke guy and saving up to Japa, while I was busy helping my sisters.
The same sisters refused to help me when I was in need and swore that I NEVER sent them anything before in my life.
My mouth was left ajar like this
This same blood sisters would fast and pray and be singi church song upadan oh.
The thing dey really gimme trauma till now sha, cos I no really gbadun women again, na just fvcks I dey see sey dem useful for, nothing else again.
Them no too geh sense at all...

A wonderful experience...

DHaran:

Why collecting the money later is your son not your responsibilty too
dont be selfish, pls pay bills too.
what do u ladies really offer in marriage sef

Actually, they offer sex and food.

FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, WOMEN ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW WHATEVER YOU DO FOR YOUR PEOPLE BUT ALWAYS PUT A LID ON ISSUES CONCERNING THEIRS. THEY ARE UNUSUALLY BIASED...

brosom:
U get luck sef say him tell u 200k,

If na me na 100k I go tell u gaskia .


Some wife's no deserve to know the actual earning of their partners because e get why

henrijin:
Imagine ordinary interview wey I go. Tell madam how much I bill them. Madam say instead make we change apartments (this is what we wanted to do all this while o), she say make I build house. I never get the job o.

My rib....

BRATISLAVA:


Why should women be expected to pay bills and not also hide their incomes, like men are saying men should do, so that everyone in the relationship will pretend not to have money for things that need to be paid for? Or is it only men who know what it means to work for their keep?

Let everyone lie about their incomes, and nobody should complain that the other doesn't want to pick the bills.

Bills are meant to be taken care of by both.

There are some bills the man takes care when he was single. Hence, any other bill that affects, surface or come up or increments as a result of marriage are to be shared by both...etc Child cares, House Projects, Cars, Family welfare, School fees and Feeding will be taken care of from their common pool of savings to avoid issues if both are working class, in which I believe no man wants a liability as helpmate but assets.

Corporate2020:
Why do you want to know my Salary? Did I ask for your own? Is it your money? Ole Oloshi Ologogoro

smokeyupu:
FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, WOMEN ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW WHATEVER YOU DO FOR YOUR PEOPLE BUT ALWAYS PUT A LID ON ISSUES CONCERNING THEIRS. THEY ARE UNUSUALLY BIASED...

exactly bro.!!

Just like my gf, her her brother bought and changed some few house apparatus, I asked her how much her brother bought those things, she said she doesn't know. After few months, her brother again got a new car and I asked her again but she said she doesn't want to ask her brother such question, mind u she's very close to her brother and I'm asking her all that to be inclined generally in the market world just in case I needed to get some for myself.

Just last month I changed my phone, a very classy one for that matter that isn't up to 200k, boom my girl beging dey heep me questions, where did I buy it? I told her, when? I told her, for how much? I told her. But the one wey make me change am for her was she asked me how did I get the money?? Omo I mad oo. Since then she just dey on low the play emotional victim but me no dey even see am..

Very baised set of people..

This isn't about marriage or dating, generally people don't dislcose how much they have in their account don't blame them,even the OP is guilty of this

When someone knows exactly how much you earn, it battles the amount of love they have for you, so keep it a secret

advanceDNA:


Its like u dont know women...

My ex told me to buy her wig of 160k..i say i never collect salary say i nor get

..she told me to allow her lend me the money from her own pocket to buy the wig and pay her later.....it was that day i knew she was sent from hell....

..some women are not relationship material let alone marriage material...no team mentality.. they just see their man as an ATM...

Bro a quick question , was she joking when she told you those words?? Cos it sounded like a big joke to me

lawrenzooo:

I don't think it's a stupid advice since it's workings for him.
Every marriage is unique I guess couples would just have to find out what works for them and make their choice.

What he didn't tell you was that his wife assumes he is ten times richer than he truely is. And the wife never believes him when he says "he is broke or have no money!" He didn't also say that the major cause of problem in their marriage is money!

Wawelexy:
The other gender are manipulative..... they want to know how you go about spending a dime and what you spend it on, as if they were there during the hustle and bustle..

Imagine you earning 150k, and you been faithful with her, trust me she will give you billing of 120k and still claim she's helping you to manage.... even to take care of yourself and siblings will be hard.

And these sets of creatures will have 2milli sitting in their account doing nothing and yet still spend your salary with you to the last penny claiming they re broke... but if God help you with a good one, she go just unexpectedly surprise you by lifting some of your burdens off your shoulder, might be kids school fee or rent, but only 10% of them can do that....

well said

lordally:


Bro a quick question , was she joking when she told you those words?? Cos it sounded like a big joke to me

Im telling u real life...ddnt u read a lady's comment say who said...if she pay school fees for her child..she will get it back from the husband..??
u have not heard the saying..."my money is for me alone, but my husband money is for the whole family"

chitheo:
I'm not married though.

However I feel people should do what works for them and this should be based on the type of partner they are involved with.

I know what comes into my boyfriend's account at every point in time.

Infact, I'm currently keeping some money that he intends using soon.

I think he trusts me so much with his money because I would never ask him for money.
He gives me money whenever he pleases and I'm always satisfied with whatever he gives.

Afterall no be him born me.

If this your attitude can pass the test of time then, you will really be respected.

For an intuitive man, a spouse who doesn't ask unnecessary billings deserve everything.

Even aside family and except in some rare cases, it's still not ideal for the man.

One can generate enemies appearing as friends.

advanceDNA:


Im telling u real life...ddnt u read a lady's comment say who said...if she pay school fees for her child..she will get it back from the husband..??
u have not heard the saying..."my money is for me alone, but my husband money is for the whole family"

Jesus Christ!! So she actually meant it when she told u those words!!! Omo my head don scatter.

Apart from their wide and tastles pusi many women are useless to men both married and single.

TenQ:

What he didn't tell you was that his wife assumes he is ten times richer than he truely is. And the wife never believes him when he says "he is broke or have no money!" He didn't also say that the major cause of problem in their marriage is money!

No the wife knew how much he was earning when they got married; he just realised she keeps making demands until the money is finished so he didn't tell her about subsequent promotions and the pay rise that comes with it.

lordally:


Jesus Christ!! So she actually meant it when she told u those words!!! Omo my head don scatter.

Thats not even the first time or only time she did something related to that..... .. she came to my place on a weekend....she has key so she arrived before me on a friday....she ddnt want to stay without light ..so she bought fuel enjoying DSTV ...i was shocked when she demanded for the 2k for the fuel....she did it another time that my debit ddnt work when we go hang out for bar...but i just lock up give am the money...but she no say all those behaviors just destroy her rating for my side..

very sorry to tell you that you have problems what if he tells you that is 50 thousand nairas and you now find out that is 250k what are you going to do? 250 and 200k what is the difference between the two? Please don't trust him or what of if the 50k is for something known to him nko it is his money so let him enjoy his life in pleasure and good health

Islandlady:
Actually most people are guilty of lying to their Lovers and partners about the actual amount they earn from their salary.

I believe most partners especially the Men have a reason for doing it, I think this can cause disunity and lack of trust if the other partner finds out about the actual amount you earn! What are the reasons behind this lie?

I came across the screenshot below from my IG story while scrolling about this lady asking for advice on this issue!
Experienced Nairalanders should share reason for this secret abeg!

trust him

How much are you bringing to the table abi na only consumption be your part ?

lawrenzooo:
Here is what my married friend told me "don't ever allow your wife know how much you are earning because if she knows she would keep demanding until she is sure you salary is finished".
That was his on personal experience. According to him he didn't tell his wife about subsequent promotions.

Yes, I can tell you from experience that your very absolutely right.
My wife understands that my monthly salary is around 180-200k. Yet my monthly spending around the house is around 260k or more as the case may be.
Just imagine if she knew I was making an extra 1mil? Just imagine