| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ndukwechinasa: 6:55am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. From what I understand here, the land as he said was actually bought and the land document given to you. Though, the land should be #400k and he billed you #600k. But if the man really provides for the family I don't think you should be bothered about it cos in one way or the other you will get your money back. What if he has used the whole money? Land you didn't see and money no where to be found. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ndukwechinasa: 6:56am On Oct 25, 2022 |
ndukwechinasa:
From what I understand here, the land as he said was actually bought and the land document given to you.
Though, the land should be #400k and he billed you #600k. But if the man really provides for the family I don't think you should be bothered about it cos in one way or the other you will get your money back.
What if he has used the whole money? Land you didn't see and money no where to be found. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by underpinna: 6:57am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Justkatty:
I don't really know o, but while reading this, I was eager to see if I'll see something like a side chick abi mistress but I didn't which I am glad.
Since there's no woman involved or domestic violence just don't trust him with money anymore and go back to him.
Maybe you'll start building yourself on how to absorb shock from anyone. Absorb shock like Buhari?  But this life no balance o. Singleness no good at all be it a man or a woman. Single mother come be the worst. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Obidient4life3: 6:57am On Oct 25, 2022 |
odiinsgrace:
Pray and ask God for divine wisdom because u and ur father and everyone that supported ur leaving ur man's house are such a toxic human...Na ur type they make me fear marriage with Naija gal, selfish proud humans. Can you hear yourself? How low can you get? A man duped his wife and this trash is what you have to say? Toxic human? Do you even know the meaning of toxic? What is more toxic than scamming your wife to the turn of 200k! You are absolutely shameless |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by chinae(m): 6:58am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we )
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told
No insult please, I have cried enough. As much as I frown bitterly when friends try's to profit from his friend, talk of wife. But similar act from the wife will be called 'Aproko'. These are very terrible acts we just nickname to suit us |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Obidient4life3: 7:00am On Oct 25, 2022 |
wirinet:
What do you mean he cheated no doubt. A man that built a whole house, just 2 years after paying for marriage rights will want to cheat his wife, and he will take only N200k? Is 200k money in todays Nigeria? Even if it's 5k. It's morally wrong and shameless wrong too. Did he build the house for wife or for his family? Did anyone force him to build house or marry wife? Some women buy properties without their husbands knowledge, the woman was open enough to say she wants this in her name. All the man needs to do it either say no. Not dupe her! That's extremely low! |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Fearyourcreator: 7:00am On Oct 25, 2022 |
rickleye:
True repentance- return the � with interest. Be the bigger man. Make she go find another husband... If woman don dey make money like this na wahala... Turn the table around ... What would you have said or to your wife If you the man 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Moshphil: 7:01am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. Packing out of your husband house is too much There are other ways you can handle this whole situation You choose to leave ur hubby house because you feel you have the right to What d man did Is very wrong and both families are aware and they have tried to settle you guys but you get strong head and an unforgiven spirit You took the decision to leave my house and you go swallow ooo If na me .., you are not coming back into my house again Aswear. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by semanose: 7:02am On Oct 25, 2022 |
When I see the comments so far, I shake my head.
This is why the likes of Osinachi never came out to tell people what she went through.
People will still give her reasons to go back.
When you are married, those with horrible traits start showing theirs gradually. If left unchecked it becomes worse.
This man is just getting started, watch him he'll do much worse.
Op knows her man better. For behaving the way she did, she has alerted the world.
Even she goes back, he'll be careful with such acts in the future.
For those saying they see nothing wrong in what they man did, watch it.
That means you find nothing wrong in defrauding your fellow man, be it your spouse or someone else.
The world has lost it.
Dishonest people everywhere. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by voiceoftruthNG: 7:03am On Oct 25, 2022 |
To me, you have trust issues. Your husband wanted both of you to get the property but you wanted it all for yourself,? Why? You have been laying the foundation for separation long before now so go ahead and make yourself happy. I come in peace 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Fearyourcreator: 7:06am On Oct 25, 2022 |
iamwhat:
This is by far the best answer I've read in a long time
Firstly, your husband messed up big time.
However, you've destroyed your home forever due to ego and lack of patience.
I am 100% sure your husband will live 20yrs longer if you guys don't get back together but if he naively take you back, he'll die before his time.
You're a big time trouble maker. You're considering to go back to him not because you've forgiven him or love him because of a your children... in other words, you're going back just to use him as a father placeholder for your children.
The man has used everything to beg you even his father came from the village but it's not enough punishment just because you want to flex your muscle of being the richer one between you two.
All I can sense is a selfish and egotistic woman, I pray your children shouldn't take after you, if not that man will live the remaining of his live being miserable.
I pray you don't go back to him and God gives him a better woman to help him live longer. Just turn the table around ... People will say na woman na ... And even make jest of you saying you no be man see wetin you dey drag with woman... People will like at one less of a man if a man should drag his wife this way ... The husband messed up and he has been begging to the extend his parent got involve ... She should find another man abeg... Most Women can't handle power ooo |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by FireUpNow(m): 7:07am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. From your narrative it shows that your husband inflated the price of the land, instead of N600k he bought it for N400k and he swallowed a whole N200k which is not good for a husband to do to his wife, I blqmed him. Also for him to say a woman cannot build a house under him that too is also bad but I will say that you forgive him even though he snitched on you. He is your husband and his baby is inside of you. My advice is that when doing any financial dealings with him next time be wise like the serpent who knows the secret of the earth more. Whenever you have a financial dealing with hubby don't trust him anymore and always remind of him of his previous dubious dealings with you. My wife betrayed me too that I wanted to divorce her but I told her I have forgiven her but with serious warning and letting her know what she she did as she was surprised as she thought I was in the dark. Your children need their father you too need him. Think about his good sides as well and forgive then move on |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by MeetDx(m): 7:07am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Sunnyshinylight:
You seriously embarrassed your own husband because of 200k haba,
What do you want to do with the land you purchase all to yourself, wow most of you are married but are not really married. You forgot that both of you are one now?
You need to understand what's the meaning of marriage. You lack common sense.
You allow your flesh to control you, now you have told your siblings and parents and family members how weak, stupid, and wayward your husband is, what's your gain now?
You should be the one begging your husband.
God is not happy with you sweetie, learn to make your marriage work, you have seriously embarrassed your own husband in and out.
I feel so sorry for you. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by blesdman(m): 7:08am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Very painful decision from the OP. Egocentric action. A man gives a woman alot in the course of her life, and the man finds nothing wrong in the woman getting some extra from what is given her. Just for the mistake of taking so much from what the woman gave, hell is let loosed.....hmmm...am shocked at such decisions. Apparently it seems u want to be separated from the man by ur ownself cos u have funds. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by bagirajoseph(m): 7:12am On Oct 25, 2022 |
You are very foolish and selfish woman may God punish you forever |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by michlins(m): 7:13am On Oct 25, 2022 |
InvertedHammer:
/
There is zero trust in your marriage. You insisted on owning a property away from your husband. What kind of man will condone that? He ended up scamming you of N200k. It seems like a marriage made in heaven between two individuals who cannot trust each other.
You can go back to him for the sake of your children.
But you know that the marriage is over. The summary is that it is not going to end well if you do.
Betrayal by an insider is the worst of its kind and can never be erased from your natural hard drive, try as you may. You are being emotional and we know that living in denial or hoping for change is what got Osinachi six feet under.
Some people deserve to be left alone. Both of you need to stay away from each other.
/
all I see here is someone bitter about "nzama" Land agents do that thing alot. They inflate the cost of a property if you're desperate enough to have it |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by wirinet(m): 7:14am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Obidient4life3:
Even if it's 5k. It's morally wrong and shameless wrong too. Did he build the house for wife or for his family? Did anyone force him to build house or marry wife? Some women buy properties without their husbands knowledge, the woman was open enough to say she wants this in her name. All the man needs to do it either say no. Not dupe her! That's extremely low! You have no idea of the real meaning of marriage. The house belongs to the wife too as long as their legally married. No one also forced the wife to marry the husband. Since she is not ready to let go of her self (selfishness), she should never have said I do to "two becoming one" in the marriage vows. Why will she want a property in her name? Who owns the property if she dies unexpectedly? Her father, brothers or the children? If a woman buys property without the husbands knowledge and later the husband gets to know, that's the end of the marriage. What will you then say if husband buys a property without the wife's knowledge? The breakdown of the family unit is the greatest contributor of the decay of the Nigerians society. Selfishness and greed is now the order of the day. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by richie240: 7:15am On Oct 25, 2022 |
1. You acted as a 'woman' by confronting him and quarrelling over the (mere) 200k. Once u knew he had played u over d 200k, u shd've known that he is a financially untrustworthy fellow. Despite that flaw, you ursef knows he's good in other areas of life. You shd've 'managed' those areas he's good in whilst ensuring u don't entrust ur finances with him henceforth. By so doing, you would've saved ur marriage whilst saving ur finances. 2. The second problem u have is 'pride'.You so much want him by ur side but u've so much done slot of shakara dt u are so ashamed and don't know how to come down from ur high horse. Is d 200k worth what those innocent kids will lose in terms of a father-figure? I and my siblings are products of a broken marriage and even decades later, I'm still feeling d effect of a missing father-figure in my life as a kid. No matter how much a mother tries over her kids, he can't take d place of their father. There's always be that area where only a man can fill. My adviceIn economics, we were taught dt "opportunity cost is d alternative forgone in d process of making a choice". Weigh ur options well-well. Ask urself if d seperation/divorce as a result of d 200k 'defraudment' is much more mbetter/effective than having a husband/father for your kids. Choose d better option, dassol! Have it at the back of ur mind that he (your husband) can remarry today-today and start another family sharp-sharp, but can u do d same? Know ds and know peace: any (single) man dt shows interest in u (with 2 Pikins) only wants to chop (ur money and ur pussy) and clean mouth!  |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by underpinna: 7:15am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Passionate888:
Your husband bring idea for both of una to buy land together, you say no, you want to buy it alone! Na wa o, na real wa She doesn't know that idea these days cost so much money. Every transaction is for profitability. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by semanose: 7:16am On Oct 25, 2022 |
voiceoftruthNG:
To me, you have trust issues. Your husband wanted both of you to get the property but you wanted it all for yourself,? Why? You have been laying the foundation for separation long before now so go ahead and make yourself happy. I come in peace We have different kind of families. She might not tell us some details. In 2016, I chose to buy land with my husband. We started building together. I don't know how his mom got to know. She called that she knows about the land. That we are building her burial ground. That's where she'll be buried and its hers. His brother called to say it's their brother's land . I abandoned the project. Till now it's there, unfinished. I am not going to go into details the horrible things I have gone through. Will you say I have trust issues? Will you advise me to continue with such a project? The fact that one is married does not mean you need to co-build with your partner. For instance, when I first bought I wrote Mrs my Husband surname. But I was told my husband's family, Mrs could be another future woman. Even if you plan to build with your partner, if you sense greed on his/her side (from the individual or family side) abandon ship. Choosing to buy in your name alone has its future benefits. What if that partner leaves you or the family claims it from you. We should stop blaming OP and look at this situation from all perspectives. Only her knows her situation, God will direct her to make the wise decision. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by tonyson010(m): 7:17am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Fahvvy:
How do you forgive him?
By forgiving him na  ...
Marriage is not relationship o that you can brezz in and out as you wish  ...
Marriage will test and stretch you farther than anything else will ..
On a more serious note...
It's clear and glaring that you don't consider yourself as a team? ...
Let's look at your write up ...
I have always helped him in his house projects,might not be much 100k,50k,20k when need be,I never siphoned my money to myself,as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head,(3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that "we" should buy it together,I told him no,I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it,( just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller."we" did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
So even when "two have become one" you still act as if you guys are not a team ...
The only time the word "we" appeared there, it was because it was suggested by your hubby ...
So while he sees you guys as a team, you see yourself as competitors ...
Until you change your mindset, it's best you don't go back ...
I'm not trying to excuse your hubby's actions, however, if you intend to go back with this mindset of unforgiveness, disunity and distrust, just be prepared for everyday quarrel ...
And that too will affect your kids ... like the way u looked at it. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by underpinna: 7:18am On Oct 25, 2022 |
richie240:
1. You acted as a 'woman' by confronting him and quarrelling over the (mere) 200k.
Once u knew he had played u over d 200k, u shd've known that he is a financially untrustworthy fellow. Despite that flaw, you ursef knows he's good in other areas of life. You shd've 'managed' those areas he's good in whilst ensuring u don't entrust ur finances with him. By so doing, you would've saved ur marriage whilst saving ur finances.
2. The second problem u have is 'pride'.
You so much want him by ur side but u've so much done slot of shakara dt u are so ashamed and don't know how to come down from ur high horse.
Is d 200k with what those innocent kids will lose in terms of a father-figure? I and my siblings are products of a broken marriage and even decades later, I'm still feeling d effect of a missing father-figure in my life as a kid. No matter how much a mother tries over her kids, he can't take d place of their father. There's always be that area where only a man can fill.
My advice
In economics, we were taught dt "opportunity cost is d alternative forgone in d process of making a choice".
Weigh ur options well-well. Ask itself if d seperation/divorce as a result of d 200k 'defraudment' is much more mbetter/effective than having a husband/father for your kids. Choose d better option, dassol!
I will only agree to the fact that the man can't be trusted with money if he has been collecting his wife's money from her all the time. But for the transaction, I think the man collected profit for business done. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by jmichael259(m): 7:18am On Oct 25, 2022 |
No matter what we tell u, u go still return later if u really wanted.
forgiveness is not by force and not by proxy e.g. Forgiving because of papa dey beg na wash. If e no come from the heart, na time bomb u dey plant. We don't want to read man beats wife to coma or woman bathes man hot water.
so far, the man hasn't done anything to make you forgive him, even the family members didn't disturb you for months despite the pregnancy news and you have not found a place to forgive him so, there's nothing for us to tell you. These things come naturally. Don't let sentiments or loneliness cloud your judgement or make a hurried decision.
Time heals and when it's right, you guys will resolve smoothly or move on with your separate lives. Personal space, safety and mental health first for now. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by olympianares: 7:18am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Obidient4life3:
Even if it's 5k. It's morally wrong and shameless wrong too. Did he build the house for wife or for his family? Did anyone force him to build house or marry wife? Some women buy properties without their husbands knowledge, the woman was open enough to say she wants this in her name. All the man needs to do it either say no. Not dupe her! That's extremely low! Who is this Child? |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by adecz: 7:19am On Oct 25, 2022 |
You pack comot from your matrimonial
home because your husband chop
200k commission on your property❓❓❗️❗️
Seems you must be an Amaka as una
love money pass anything. Simple matter
like this, you involved outsiders to come
and give you wrong advice.
What if you found out he impregnated
another woman, you for kill am❓
You want to be a single mother with
two kids❗️❗️who is on the losing side❓
Better calm down and return to your
husband. Both of una dey unnecessarily
strong-headed & proud.❌❌❌❌
He who is without sin should cast the
first stone.☹️☹️☹️☹️
I come in love ♥♥ & peace ✌️✌️✌️ 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Saig: 7:20am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. Have you ever asked God for forgiveness? How many times? Did you still sin after asking for forgiveness? Of course yes!. Even refusing to forgive is part of sin. People make mistakes and change. If your husband has apologized, forgive him and go back home. Learn to let go, build your home. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Nobody: 7:22am On Oct 25, 2022 |
You are the problem. You are competing with your husband. How can you decide to buy a plot of land for yourself in a union?
If the man dies today, who inherits all the hardwork if not you and your children?
You need to beg him to forgive you. You are the problem. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by fluffybaby(f): 7:23am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. My only advise, if you go back go with the mindset of forgetting the past and moving on. Forgive him the way you would want to be forgiven if you genuinely ask for it from someone you love and who claims to love you |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Ayemileto(m): 7:24am On Oct 25, 2022 |
eyinjuege:
The woman checked her husband's phone and realised 200K has been sent to her husband, from the person she bought the land from.
Definitely, the husband was colluding with the person selling the land to swindle/ overinflate the price for his wife.
NoToPile:
It's one thing to inflate price for your partner, it's another thing to take your partners money it's a different ball game entirely when your partner connives with an outsider to scheme money out of you. Someone like that can plan for you.
Obidient4life3:
Can you hear yourself? How low can you get? A man duped his wife and this trash is what you have to say? Toxic human? Do you even know the meaning of toxic? What is more toxic than scamming your wife to the turn of 200k! You are absolutely shameless Have you thought of the possibility that the land seller might be giving referral commission normal normal, and not necessarily that the husband planned it with him/her? Getting commission for referring people is something common in our society today, and you don't have to plan it with any seller to get the commission. In fact, most people already include price for paying referral commission as part of their goods price. This is the reason why you'll see stuffs like, "Refer someone and get X amount". For all we know, there might not be any "conspiracy to defraud" her. The seller could have sent him the commission, as he might have done if any other person he refers buys a land. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by olympianares: 7:25am On Oct 25, 2022 |
voiceoftruthNG:
To me, you have trust issues. Your husband wanted both of you to get the property but you wanted it all for yourself,? Why? You have been laying the foundation for separation long before now so go ahead and make yourself happy. I come in peace why would a woman want a separate house solely in her own name? She doesnt see a lasting working marriage.. Due to the fact that she might fear the death of the man or she doesn't trust him not to have another woman outside it all balls down to trust she is PARANOID |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by JohnOkolo: 7:25am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Rozross:
You readily forgive those you love without a doubting spirit. You are kind of toxic, even me that like trouble dont know how to keep grudges, before the next day as e long reach, i've forgotten that we even had issues. Marriage isnt relationship, learn to accept your partner's flaws and weaknesses and forgive them each time their weaknesses is taking it's toll on them. This one isn't even a big issue sef, its you who has been complicating things. He's sorry and begging you for forgiveness and you still dont want to forgive him, what else do you want? His head? Abeg work on your unforgiven spirit. She's not in love with the Man. If you need a father figure and don't know how to forgive a Man who you called your husband for something that can be ironed out and forgotten and still you will still collect your money double. I don't see Love in the marriage. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by membranus: 7:25am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Slynation:
Curiosity kills the cat, she was insecured as well, she get luck say nobi my type she wake up from sleep just to ask that useless question "why did the man sent back 200k"
I am curious, wetin you for do am if na you she ask the question? |
