Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

omo kukuma dey for nigeria where u get better authority to stamp ur feet as a man.

abroad no send you and at a yielding point, ur wife go take advantage of that society cos seeing it as she is, she get strong head and “i can do it on my own head”.


stubbornness dey her blood

i’ve dated her type

Why am I here? Ok..after enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3kids behind until she can secure accomodation b4 we leave. I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

All I can read here are
1. A lady who isn’t straight forward
2. A man who feels insecure

i rather stay in nigeria and be average rich and have my authority as a man than abroad and be more financially comfortable with a “strong-head wife” who will be more empowered to give me more trouble.

OP if you must go on with relocating to join her, swear with your mama life you’ll never hit her, secretly put CCTV ( very tiny) cameras all around your house just in case when she starts lying against you in court that you beat her, become more humble, cook more as the husband, and reduce your air of authority.



these are the only ways you can co-exist as a man in the abroad, if you know you can’t do any of these, stay back in nigeria.

You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

.
.
.
OP, sorry in advance. Not saying she’s going to cheat on you but she’ll so pepper you that you’ll be forced to become a SIMPle gentleman.


I can imagine how you’ll feel when She tells you her new man friend or Mr Mike is coming to help her set up the new TV and then her phone becomes unreachable till the next day because her phone died and Nepa took light in the UK.


PS. Please we need to see picture of her assx for complete data assessment.

That means the person that stated that women are only loyal to their feelings... No lie at all... She's not straightforward with you at all...
She's already exhibiting the same traits of married women sleeping with male corpers in the NYSC camp...
Just zero your mind and install spy cameras as leverage because problems must surely emerge...not cursing you but telling you reality.


If the cold could prevent her from taking your calls, what other things could the cold do to her in your absence.
Her meeting the guy in the church again isn't coincidental...na arrangee...
Add 1+1 and you'll be alright.

Heathrow44:



U are very stupid, Thats why women are a bit wiser, they have set objectives when they enter into relationships and marriages,.that's how men should be, ur no1 priority is to get to the UK with ur kids as dependants, Start making connections and if its not working BTW u do, u sort urslf out in London, Thats ur main objective, this is a SMO and ur objectives should be ear and precise, dont be distracted, play along till u get to UK

Is you that's displaying maximum potent of stupidity. It seems you don't know what marriage is all about. Lies, trickery are all part of what western marriages entails. Remove children and sex, I don't see anything valuable marrying a WOMAN

HardBishop:


Is you that's displaying maximum potent of stupidity. It seems you don't know what marriage is all about. Lies, trickery are all part of what western marriages entails. Remove children and sex, I don't see anything valuable marrying a WOMAN

oga a typical naija girl would take all ur Bs just t make sure she gets to UK, once she's in UK, she can't go bk to naija even if u force her to, that's how thorough they re towards executing their set objectives, the man should do d same

HardBishop:


Is you that's displaying maximum potent of stupidity. It seems you don't know what marriage is all about. Lies, trickery are all part of what western marriages entails. Remove children and sex, I don't see anything valuable marrying a WOMAN

No he’s right. The OP is really stupid. The more he’s on about all this, the more he’s giving the wife reasons to be whatever She wants to be over there.

Just ghost her for sometimes, no call no text. Act like you care less about her then observe.

If she doesn’t call or notice your ghost mode, then sorry man, her feelings for you is a goner.

Hmmm. How do people manage in marriages like these?
If your story is true, these are signs that there are many things going on with and in her that you probably dont know about. If this continues, you guys would separate at last.
Be a man, take the hard decision. Let her and your kids be the dependent ones, not you.
Also, it is better to live a good and peaceful life in Nigeria than a bad one - which you would later regret - in the UK.

Stay back in Nigeria while the kids join their mother... You can be visiting them ....and vice versa where they can be visiting you in Nigeria

I don’t know how you men agree to become dependent to a woman and follow her to UK, aren’t you a man. The African in you says you are the man and a woman should follow and support your dreams not the other way. You cannot import western standard to an African, there won’t be balance. When Nigerian girls get abroad, the freedom run them crazy and they can’t sustain it.

dazzlingd:
I don’t know how you men agree to become dependent to a woman and follow her to UK, aren’t you a man. The African in you says you are the man and a woman should follow and support your dreams not the other way. You cannot import western standard to an African, there won’t be balance. When Nigerian girls get abroad, the freedom run them crazy and they can’t sustain it.

Mayb the guy no pass well....or mayb he don too old....and mayb e make better sense for the lady to apply for the masters because of higher chances of getting in....thats the sacrifice some men make for family yet women commonize it as their right and nothing

Wotoporiously speaking

A storm is coming but I pray for your sake it doesn't

I couldn't get through the long story. So I will just tell you the truth. Women in Nigeria are subservient because there is no opportunity to make money and cater for themselves. Man is king because women have to depend on men. However that is not their true heart. Women have the same feelings as men, but they still like to be cared for. When they get power they exercise that power. In the UK, your wife will exercise her power as a human being, but still be expected to be catered to.

My advice to you is to find as much work as you can and/or get a VALUABLE degree. No matter where you live in the world, a woman cannot respect a man that is not out earning her. You must earn more than your wife in the Western world, if you want peace. Unfortunately that can often be difficult, because women have the same opportunities to make money as men.

At this time, your wife is trying to survive her new environment. She will take any opportunity she can. You would do the same if you were in her shoes. Just prepare yourself for the first 2 years, that you will take anything anyhow to survive.

I feel sorry for you, because you are a good principled husband whose family interest is number 1.
I learnt never to be at the mercy of a Woman, Las Las you will be disgraced. Reason why you can't find a woman picking up a man from the trenches and transforming his Life. But 70% of men are stock with broke women but joy giver.
It is natural, women are attracted to superior men and men are attracted to weak and shy women.Reason why one particular Religion subdue women, they know the exact power of a woman in whoring around (sorry that might be too harsh and I intend no disrespect, but it is a fact for some good amount of women)
Her recent display is of serious concern and to be honest, it won't be an easy ride for you. Marriage is like a Ship and you the man Is the captain never for once hand this over to a woman, that you just did.

Nawa!

Ds mata no be here o

Ds one pass me

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty. Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that its not too much because am a responsble father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok..after enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3kids behind until she can secure accomodation b4 we leave. I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didnt take enough money and going back home might not be possible,I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registeration, I was like thats wrong, you dont form familiarity with someone you just met in another mans country, i said I will call la friend in liverpool to send you money and u could get ur train ticket, she fumed, but I stood my ground and said thats how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, i was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didnt make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didnt u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to luton, over an hour journey at night. Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and shes using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she wont be having access to internet, etc whatsapp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of gps google map, thats what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself , I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that shes leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up. Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didnt even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you dont need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this london nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating. The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate. I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly, i have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Say bye bye to your wife, the truth be say, you will never step foot there.

Just forget it, your wife is gone.

Go another country bro, go start your life new. You been Dey live with a monster all these while and also try do DNA test on those kids.

Ladies like them na karma dey catch up.
Na hiv/aids dey always end them..

This is likely what is going to happen, the guy in question will get the accommodation even if he doesn't get references through you. He will bond very well with your wife and probably be her closest friend. He has started lusting after her and your wife knows that well.
She will likely be visiting him, in his new accommodation just to survive and get herself going. Sex or whatever may not come now because the guy will be afraid to do anything nasty to avoid being jailed.
BUT..... You will keep having issues if you are not careful and the guy will be fueling it just to get to her pants..

One day she wont come home because of the wahala you are giving her and will sleep in that guy house. That's how it will start. The whole thing will begin when you have big quarell which is close by. Just let her settle very well first and also the guy. It will likely go on and on and you won't know.

You are the second class in your own house now either you believe or not. You are a nanny now in your own house.
As you allow her to be the primary holder, then expect alot of shitz in the coming weeks and months when she is totally settled.
She has interest in that guy too may be to update her account and meet up expenses.
Sorry for now, there is nothing you can do than to work your self out personally not minding what ever she does. Zero your mind totally. Abroad is difficult now to survive and every opportunity thrown to a naija girl, she will accept not minding if she is married or not. The handwriting is there. Abroad is different from naija. If you over step your boundaries with her, you might land back to naija in a tinkle of an eye And loose all.
The choice is yours. You can't control her and she won't listen to you either.

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty. Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that its not too much because am a responsble father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok..after enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3kids behind until she can secure accomodation b4 we leave. I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didnt take enough money and going back home might not be possible,I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registeration, I was like thats wrong, you dont form familiarity with someone you just met in another mans country, i said I will call la friend in liverpool to send you money and u could get ur train ticket, she fumed, but I stood my ground and said thats how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, i was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didnt make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didnt u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to luton, over an hour journey at night. Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and shes using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she wont be having access to internet, etc whatsapp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of gps google map, thats what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself , I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that shes leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up. Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didnt even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you dont need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this london nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating. The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate. I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly, i have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Oga allow your wife breathe mehn. Your own is too much, person wey Don born 3 for you, wetin else you dey look. You are just battling insecurity, nothing else

I feel sorry for you cos right now your peace of mind is out of your hands..

'Your wife' intends to mingle and hustle for a better life and will most likely be a prey, unfortunately, at your detriment alone.

Do all you can to relocate as soon as you can cos the clouds are gathering pretty fast...

May God help you and give her wisdom...

Ebubu:
omo kukuma dey for nigeria where u get better authority to stamp ur feet as a man.

abroad no send you and at a yielding point, ur wife go take advantage of that society cos seeing it as she is, she get strong head and “i can do it on my own head”.


stubbornness dey her blood

i’ve dated her type

I cant stay here, we have sold almost everything, visa is running, accommodation already secured. But I know sey God dey sha.

Just follow the objective first get your family your kids out of this hell hole.

Carcholce:


No he’s right. The OP is really stupid. The more he’s on about all this, the more he’s giving the wife reasons to be whatever She wants to be over there.

simple, isn't it much better he's over there than over here? He should take his time, very soon if he pushes too much, she would use dat as excuse to quit d relationship and marry a Brit or a well to do Nigerian man there, and Op has lost many things
1. Japa to the UK
2. His beloved wife
3. Shared custody with children and if care is not taken when it gets to divorce half of his assets would be shared and he mandated to pay monthly Upkeep for his wife and children, which makes it hard for him to even talk of marrying again or starting up a business

Okonandmary:
You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

This is exactly what I did over the last 2 days now, and guess what, she has been stalking me with calls. I only call her when there is something important to discuss, but calls based on, i miss u and all of that nor even dey again, the moment she noticed I have drifted from showing affection over calls, she started bombarding me with calls complaining that I dont call her.