Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

At least you have an example of the kind of man you shouldn't be, thanks to your dad.

Romanoff:
At least you have an example of the kind of man you shouldn't be, thanks to your dad.

She is a woman,, read again

Worriedwife:


She is a woman,, read again

I didn't know that.

The post didn't say but at least, she now has an example of the kind of man to stay away from.

Without digging too far,I discovered you are the kind of girl that disrespects your dad,and fight proxy wars for your mother

You have to humble yourself,and go apologize genuinely. Why will you reject the money in the first place? That is rude

After beating your "3-year-old" niece, your dad tried to correct you by using same stick you used on the little girl, you pushed him thereby brushing his ego.

A girl under the tutelage of her parents pushing her father and still got the nerves to ask if she should forgive the innocent man

I'm even sure you fought him that day and you expect him to continue training you . He's even benevolent to give you 50K for your school fees. You should be grateful

[[color=#000099][/color]quote author=Pierocash post=118254882]Without digging too far,I discovered you are the kind of girl that disrespects your dad,and fight proxy wars for your mother

You have to humble yourself,and go apologize genuinely. Why will you reject the money in the first place? That is rude[/quote]
I rejected the money not because of anything but my dad is the kinda person that talks alot he might probably tells everyone how he paid my final years school fee all by himself which I don't like and where did he expect me to get the rest with the fact that I did my project myself and he knew I don't have any souce of income as at that time. I'm not fighting for my mum as at the time the fight happened I was frustrated and his refusal to give me a room to myself whereby we have an almost empty room at home,I stay in the same room with my dad and mum, whenever I want to change I will have to go to the bathroom to change and the bathroom is in the midst
of the tenants rooms.

[color=#000099][/color][quote author=Zonefree post=118255023]After beating your "3-year-old" niece, your dad tried to correct you by using same stick you used on the little girl, you pushed him thereby brushing his ego.

A girl under the tutelage of her parents pushing her father and still got the nerves to ask if she should forgive the innocent man

I'm even sure you fought him that day and you expect him to continue training you . He's even benevolent to give you 50K for your school fees. You should be grateful [/quote
As at the time the fight happened I was frustrated, restricted to a room because he locked the sitting room, I was feeding myself with money from my friends and other things he was making me go through and I just lost an elder brother too. I never rejected the money in a straight way I only him the money isn't enough to pay my school fee. The problem is my dad has always seen me as an inferior being because I'm a girl whatever my brother says is the final,I don't have an opinion to the extent of me requesting for a room which he didn't give me but he went ahead to build a new room for my elder brother because he needs a privacy for himself and his girlfriend, which they have a room to themselves already.

So, how can we help?

Why did you beat a 3 years old baby?

She poured her urine inside the room and the beating wasn't anything serious.

You need to forgive your dad, not for his own sake but for your own sake.

You should not be carrying a load of bitterness against your dad as this may seep into your marriage.

You have reached the age to eliminate a sense of entitlement, and manage your expectations it only from your dad, but lao from everyone.

If your anger and frustration at your dad would change him, I would have advised you to nurture it, but you know that not possible.

I advise you face your life. Thank God you have completed schooling. Plan to leave the house as soon as you get a job. Then you can have a whole apartment to yourself rather than changing your dresses in the bathroom.

You can also take your mum along if that would be possible.

It is not healthy for your mental health to hold any form of grudges.

By the way, do you have other siblings? How does your dad relate with them?

Yes I do,my parents first born is an introvert doesn't even talk much, he just accept anything,then my immediate brother is kinda very okay on his own I can't dare say 1% of those insultive words he says to my dad and he embarrasses him anywhere yet he accepts all this things and even calls him from time to time cos he gives him money. My dad accept anything from him, sometimes my brother shouts at him yet he won't get mad cos my brother is a no nonsense person. I think it because I don't have money thou�

Enacto:
Good evening,this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.
Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad,and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years. My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home. After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now,then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own. I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid. Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler. Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

I think you should forgive him, so that you will have peace of mind

Having done that, if possible stop asking him for money

Continue your hustling so that you can raise your mum financially

Your dad may go for another wife

Don't dare stop him

I don't want him to see you as his perceived enemy in the family

Your mum must have been tired of him and she is patiently waiting for you guys to stand on your own

What is this world turning into?

So you disrespect your father and come online to come and ask us if you should forgive him?

Go and apologize to your father. Stop disrespecting him for whatever reason. And stop fighting your father because of your mother.

If you present yourself as a humble, respectful daughter to him, you can go close to him and table what you think he should do better about the family. But you are going about it the wrong way.

At 24,you should be thinking of how to become less of a burden to your Dad, meanwhile,I feel there are
some important details about your relationship and issues with your father that you didn't enlist in your write-up.

Oga go and use your old account you scammer

..........he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it

You take style stubborn sha.

E be like today na for family wahala..


Just let him be, try and cater for yourself because that man has no regard for you

U need to forgive your dad and stop supporting your mum whenever any issue happen between your parent. Let them sort it out within themselves

..

i dey come

That's what wicked Nigerian men do to their daughters.


Best thing to do is to become financially independent and leave that house because clearly you're not welcome there anymore.

Hmmm

Learn from your Dad and be a better Dad to your unborn kids.



Keep on learning bro!


In 30 years time when your kids would have grown to be adults, you would be glad to have had this experiences.

Something must have cause all of that. You and you mother is disrespecting him. When this type of things keep happening he will find happiness else where.

:-
Op, @ 24 you are still at your parents house dictating for them, I left my parents when I was 14 yrs.... if I were your father na to disown you be the koko.

You are among the lazy youths buhari is taking about.

Use your head

Apostle Paul says:
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13 Vs 11