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My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by tunize(m): 9:22pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Even b4 having issues with my dad you don't want to imagine how many times my brothers and I have tried settling things even both families the issue has gone beyond the way you see it that every person in this town knows everything about my family all because my dad never stopped talking.
Still on still is a family issue u guys should settle it, Now you need to learn how to make your own money.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by salem1996: 9:38pm On Nov 10, 2022
Helpout12345:


So we should encourage people to be disrespecting their parents?

If disrespecting of parents by their children is accepted then everyone will be disrespecting everyone in the society.

This same man must have raised her till now, done so many good things in her life and will still do more in future in her life.

But because he scolded her because she beat a 3year child, now he is a demon that must be disrespected.

In as much as I blame her for some parts she played wrong, I won't excuse the fact that the dad has his side of wrong and that's what an average african parents hate; to tell them they are wrong.

Most people judge the story from one end and forgetting the other. According to the story, the dad was hitting her on a corner and in a bit to defend herself, she pushed him so she could get space to escape and he fell down. So she should have allow the man to keep beating her right? Secondly, according to the story, the man cheats and at times would not provide for the family, (or am I the only one that read that part?). If he really was a father figure who wishes his daughter well and want peace, why didn't he bother asking her why she beats the younger sibling first? Secondly, if he wants the daughter to apologise, he should be the one to create space for it as a father which will enable her to feel free to apologise.

I saw people saying she has received advice from her mum to disobey him that's why she acts the way she did. But no, tell me, who will watch his mum cheats on his dad and still maintain same respect for the mum like the dad?
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 9:42pm On Nov 10, 2022
After apologising to him and me not collecting the 50k which I didn't even say aside "daddy the money isn't enough to pay my school fee" and he said and I quote" go and look for it" the question that came to my mind there was where did he wants me to get the money whereby he knows deep down that I don't have anywhere to go look for it or probably prostitution. Ever since then my dad had new tenants in the house which I know and since then I made a decision to look for it which I started working.

Me leaving home for a year, on a good term thou, I don't really come home cos there is nothing to come home too, no happiness at home because of dad and mom thou we the children are good. Just that I make sure I come home every December and January because it will be a full house but since I lost my brother I didn't bother coming home.During that time I was away I called him several times and he picked up but never called me on his own.



Most times I planned on giving up sometimes committing sucide because it not easy from my end atal. Even till not I have not seen the person I'm dating for a year now all because I have been busy trying to fix myself ,my mum and taking care of my niece too.

I really wish to apologise again and again and again but it will change nothing because my dad is someone that when you apologize you will regret ever doing that. I know what I meant
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by tollyboy5(m): 10:08pm On Nov 10, 2022
Romanoff:


I didn't know that.

The post didn't say but at least, she now has an example of the kind of man to stay away from.
Sorry to say. You d0nt have sense!
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Everbryte: 10:55pm On Nov 10, 2022
I empathise with you for the situation you find yourself. Pleaseeeee, do not commit suicide; It can only get better and you will be fine.
From my perspective, you cant just sit on your own & say Iv forgiven my dad, and it ends there(that might just be for your own sanity).

You all have to sit down and talk as a family. Pushing you Dad was a no, no. You have to keep reaching out to him until he sincerely forgives you(write a hard copy apology). If all personal effort fails, get a mediator (your uncle/aunt/neighbor/pastor/imam, his friend or if you are close to any of the concubines - someone that he has a lot of regards for. you need his forgiveness.

Also, you sure need some crucial conversation as a family, that your father restricted you & your mum access to some part of the house and that includes the fridge & drinking water shows how bad things were, what made him do that;we know in parts. This portrays a very toxic situation that is not healthy for anyone; your father himself cannot be happy or healthy in that situation, I suppose he did that out of frustration to ensure everyone is frustrated as well.

First you have to engage your mum to know if your father has been like this from 'get go', else when did he change? what could have made him to change. your mum has to understand that if your dad is into women, she cant totally control that, she can only manage that with wisdom/attitude and self awareness - actions/attitude and self worth will pull your dad or push him and that will determine how she is treated, which to a large extent will determine how her children are treated.

For the school fees thing, your father was wrong not to have given you the complete fees, even if he did not have, it was his responsibility to explain that & perhaps commit to when you can get the balance, you felt entitled, yes! it is your entitlement & you were trying to hold him accountable to his responsibility, but you did it the wrong way. you can not fight your father, No.
All things being equal, your mum would have smoothen things out here, talk your father to give you the money or engage him & if he does not have explain to you & of course commit to when they can sort you out. Given that he does not give your mum this room in his life you should have looked for your grandma/aunt/uncle our someone he is close to.

Walking out on your dad (with money in his hand) in other words - throwing his money at him, is a nau nau. your father is the King.
As a student, you walked out on your dad with money in his hand at that instance, going forward where do you want to start from? - The suffering you wet through was a self inflicted injury.

You cannot move through life this way, it is a lot of baggage, although it comes from a little problem that can easily be sorted, you need peace, real peace. Hurry while there is life; everyone is alive.
Start from the place of faith - pray, talk with God, if you have a little money, seek the service of a professional counselor, the counselor might even go with you to your father/parents, i have no idea of their fees but it might be worth the investment for you.
It is a little problem can be solve with minimal effort. Shalom!

1 Like

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Helpout12345: 11:38pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Yes I might have disrespected him by pushing him that night but i don't think I ever did or spoke back to my dad whenever he is talking most times I just remain silent .I'm not a baby why will I be fighting for my mom most times I fight for my dad whenever there is a disagreement or I don't even interfere at all. Most of the things my elder brother does to my dad and he will not talk, I dare not say 1% to him. I have changed churches at home all because he said if I don't follow him to every church he changes to he will disown me yet I always follow him to those churches but never made it mandatory for my elder brother

Just go and apologize to your dad. As for your elder brother, is he married with children?

Because most young men don't understand what their old men are going through until they get to that stage of their life too.

1 Like

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Nobody: 11:40pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
The kinda work I'm doing is extremely hectic and standing for 9hours is affecting my legs.Im a lady thou

Forgive me, I thought you are a guy.

Just take it easy with your dad even though he seems unreasonable. Try to plead with him until you are done with studies and able to stand on your feets and then you can pay him back in his own coin.
For now, just be diplomatic with him. I am a dad as well and would never teat my daughter that way.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by IncredibleWrite: 1:38am On Nov 11, 2022
Every man should stay away from ladies like the OP who disrespect their dad and take sides with their mum when issues arise.

A girl who's not on good terms with her dad is a big red flag.

1 Like

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by sulakishop(m): 6:32am On Nov 11, 2022
I pity your future husband

1 Like

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Romanoff(f): 6:57am On Nov 11, 2022
tollyboy5:

Sorry to say. You d0nt have sense!

So na you get sense with wetin you type there.

No apologies, na coconut water dey your brain.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by tollyboy5(m): 7:02am On Nov 11, 2022
Romanoff:


So na you get sense with wetin you type there.

No apologies, na coconut water dey your brain.
Agbaya 0shi, an ignorant young girl is being misled because she's fighting proxy war on behalf of mum.

You're here typing trash. You're no different from those kind of women. I only pity the man for ending up with a woman that cannot separate her children from personal conflict with her husband. Rubbish!
Na person go marry you too like dis now?!
Men don suffer
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by tollyboy5(m): 7:20am On Nov 11, 2022
Enacto:
After apologising to him and me not collecting the 50k which I didn't even say aside "daddy the money isn't enough to pay my school fee" and he said and I quote" go and look for it" the question that came to my mind there was where did he wants me to get the money whereby he knows deep down that I don't have anywhere to go look for it or probably prostitution. Ever since then my dad had new tenants in the house which I know and since then I made a decision to look for it which I started working.

Me leaving home for a year, on a good term thou, I don't really come home cos there is nothing to come home too, no happiness at home because of dad and mom thou we the children are good. Just that I make sure I come home every December and January because it will be a full house but since I lost my brother I didn't bother coming home.During that time I was away I called him several times and he picked up but never called me on his own.



Most times I planned on giving up sometimes committing sucide because it not easy from my end atal. Even till not I have not seen the person I'm dating for a year now all because I have been busy trying to fix myself ,my mum and taking care of my niece too.

I really wish to apologise again and again and again but it will change nothing because my dad is someone that when you apologize you will regret ever doing that. I know what I meant
Look! I'll mention you like I'm a friend to you.

Try to contact an elderly person from your community that your daddy respect so much.
Or maybe his elder brother or elderly family member.

Beg them to help you plead with your dad. The path you're heading to might not help you.

I've learnt lesson in life, ladies who choose to be enemies with their dad are not good for serious relationship at all.
I've noticed it tho but not until I got first hand experience with one I would have want to really love I couldn't help but accept.

Your mum to me failed to separate you from her problem with your dad. She keeps telling emotional stuff base on your dad maltreatment of her.

Since I started taking responsibility of my self to some extent I've decide to start respecting my dad even tho he's not all that right.

I don't get emotional with issues involving my mum and my dad. Women that feels their daily feeding are tied up to the responsibility of men end up not having a lucrative job to fend for themselves.

Now that you're almost a graduate the devil want to use your head lol.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Romanoff(f): 7:21am On Nov 11, 2022
tollyboy5:

Agbaya 0shi, an ignorant young girl is being misled because she's fighting proxy war on behalf of mum.

You're here typing trash. You're no different from those kind of women. I only pity the man for ending up with a woman that cannot separate her children from personal conflict with her husband. Rubbish!
Na person go marry you too like dis now?!
Men don suffer

Like I said, coconut water.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Tzar(m): 7:22am On Nov 11, 2022
You are an entitled spoilt brat! At 24yrs, you are still expecting handouts from your dad?! SHAME ON YOU!
The poor man is probably just tired of you & your mum milking him dry.
He gave you 30% of your fees and you rejected it? What does your mum do? Isn’t she supposed to fund you too?!
Madam you are an ingrate & I pity the unfortunate man to marry you if you don’t change your perspective about life and your entitlement mentality!

Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Psoul(m): 9:32am On Nov 11, 2022
Enacto:
My mom didn't make up anything she doesn't even know I knew somethings, my dad that borrowed more than 200k for a woman and she eventually ran away when it was time to pay my dad was the one who paid the money or the one he rented an apartment for another woman yet he hasn't completed his own house. 2weeks ago he gave my neice his phone to see movies on it and went out but when I saw her with the porn she was seeing porn cos he has lots of it in it, I had to collect the phone and went through his pics and saw his pics with the woman he is with cooking for him
and you still want me to be happy?

I know I don't have any reason to justify my attitude towards him but I still greet him any time we are opportuned to meet inside the house cos my work has taken most of my time at home and still do all my necessary house chores at home but nothing has brought us together

You can go on and on to tell all the evil your father is into. You can be right.
One thing I want you to understand is that that man was first your father before he became whatever you can describe him as now.
He loves you and he is still showing you love.
You are still under the roof of his house.
You are still bearing his name.
Please, don't draw a battle line between you and him.
You may lose it at the end.
I am not in any way justifying his actions.
Focus more on building a life that will be better than what he is doing now and not fighting him.
Let your mother handle her husband.
I believe that they were once best of friends before whatever that is happening between them now cropped up.
Your mom or ur dad may not be telling you the whole truth.
Always be on the side of the truth, but allow those couple to sort out their issues.
GO AND RECONCILE WITH YOUR FATHER BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE.

You don't have any personal beef with your dad.
You are angry cos of his characters towards his marriage.
Allow your mother to carry that headache.
Only try to make your mum happy and tell her to focus on you children and pretend as if she is not aware of the man's dirty characters.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by magictonic(m): 12:54pm On Nov 11, 2022
Everbryte:
I empathise with you for the situation you find yourself. Pleaseeeee, do not commit suicide; It can only get better and you will be fine.
From my perspective, you cant just sit on your own & say Iv forgiven my dad, and it ends there(that might just be for your own sanity).

You all have to sit down and talk as a family. Pushing you Dad was a no, no. You have to keep reaching out to him until he sincerely forgives you(write a hard copy apology). If all personal effort fails, get a mediator (your uncle/aunt/neighbor/pastor/imam, his friend or if you are close to any of the concubines - someone that he has a lot of regards for. you need his forgiveness.

Also, you sure need some crucial conversation as a family, that your father restricted you & your mum access to some part of the house and that includes the fridge & drinking water shows how bad things were, what made him do that;we know in parts. This portrays a very toxic situation that is not healthy for anyone; your father himself cannot be happy or healthy in that situation, I suppose he did that out of frustration to ensure everyone is frustrated as well.

First you have to engage your mum to know if your father has been like this from 'get go', else when did he change? what could have made him to change. your mum has to understand that if your dad is into women, she cant totally control that, she can only manage that with wisdom/attitude and self awareness - actions/attitude and self worth will pull your dad or push him and that will determine how she is treated, which to a large extent will determine how her children are treated.

For the school fees thing, your father was wrong not to have given you the complete fees, even if he did not have, it was his responsibility to explain that & perhaps commit to when you can get the balance, you felt entitled, yes! it is your entitlement & you were trying to hold him accountable to his responsibility, but you did it the wrong way. you can not fight your father, No.
All things being equal, your mum would have smoothen things out here, talk your father to give you the money or engage him & if he does not have explain to you & of course commit to when they can sort you out. Given that he does not give your mum this room in his life you should have looked for your grandma/aunt/uncle our someone he is close to.

Walking out on your dad (with money in his hand) in other words - throwing his money at him, is a nau nau. your father is the King.
As a student, you walked out on your dad with money in his hand at that instance, going forward where do you want to start from? - The suffering you wet through was a self inflicted injury.

You cannot move through life this way, it is a lot of baggage, although it comes from a little problem that can easily be sorted, you need peace, real peace. Hurry while there is life; everyone is alive.
Start from the place of faith - pray, talk with God, if you have a little money, seek the service of a professional counselor, the counselor might even go with you to your father/parents, i have no idea of their fees but it might be worth the investment for you.
It is a little problem can be solve with minimal effort. Shalom!


God bless you. You are wise and unbiased. Your words seek to make peace, not vilify the poster. Nobody here knows everything that may have transpired in that place. It was wrong for her to push her father down. I won't do that. I blame the lady for doing that. On that one, I think she should apologize to her father.

Having said that, I'm aware of the toxic habits and transferred aggression of many parents (including mothers), especially when they want you to go a certain direction in Life, but you know that direction is not good for you.

Others transfer the aggression to their children to provoke their loathed spouses. When those children react, those same parents will beckon on the world to see how their children are insulting them. Some even go as far as cursing their children, just to spite their spouses.

I have personal experiences on these issues:

8 years ago, a friend of mine and I were going to get something in a store. His mother accosted him on the Road (in public glare) and fought him physically, slapping him like a baby and tearing his shirt, almost stripping him naked. He couldn't fight back (because say na him mama). Everybody did what we could to extricate him from the clutches of this woman. the woman no gree.

What was the problem: She claimed to have raised my friend and his siblings alone (with no help from my friend's father). Now, my friend was grown and wanted the family to unite. He reached out to his father, bought things, and visited his father. He truly wanted PEACE. Take note, he also gives his mom o (sometimes double or triple portion sef).

Mama heard it and came to publicly fight him. Imagine where a 40-year-old man is being slapped and dragged by his trousers by his mother, yet he couldn't do anything about it (unto say, na him mama).

Bottom Line: Some Parents are toxic and belligerent, therefore staying in their area is a breeding ground for more conflict.

My advice to the young lady:

1) Go and apologize to your father. Kneel down before him if you must.

2) Try whatever you can, and get a better job. Round off your schooling, without depending on him. Move out of the house and fend for yourself.

3) Make Peace with yourself and God.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 4:05pm On Nov 11, 2022
I have read all through and I blamed myself for everything. I wish I had endued and prevented my frustrations from getting to me to the extent of pushing him that night.

I wish there is someone or an elderly person I can go to, to help me talk and apologize but there is actually none, even when an outsider comes to report my dad there is only one person (his elder brother) we tell them to meet in other to talk to him but now both of them are like mouth and pepper.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by achimendy(m): 4:46pm On Nov 11, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??


I got into the university at age 18, and i sponsored my throughout till I graduated at age 22. I know my parent dont have so I don't bother asking them for money. I've been hustling since my secondary school days and uptill now am still hustling at age 28, my mum praise me for that.

My point here is that, you're not suppose to be depending on your irresponsible father for assistance at this age. You need to hustle on your own and dont depend on anybody ,that's exactly what I did and it really helped me alot.

So my advice for you is ignore your father and hustle like you have nobody In this world except God. Thanks.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:20pm On Nov 12, 2022
Did u see me complaining on not spending money on my mum? Pls don't quote what I didn't say�
Awesome01:
Instead of you to appreciate all the good things your father has done for you for like 24years while depriving himself and your Mum a lot of things. You are here to paint him as a devil.

You claimed that your dad doesn't spend money on your Mum, so you didn't see that he is prioritising you kids education and future over his and your Mum's comfort at home?

If its so easy to make money and carry all the family burden alone, you are an adult now. You will soon see how easy it is. Just thank God you are a female , you will soon drop all your burden on the head of a man. If you are a male, you go hear am.

If you believe in Karma, then know that whatever you do to your parents will come back to you through your children. So to me, it is you that needs to beg your father for forgiveness. Because all your former apologies are just because you needed his money.


Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:23pm On Nov 12, 2022
I'm my dad's responsibility not my brother
manmade:
any are you then disturbing the old man instead of talking to your brother to help you pay for the school fees and other expenses?
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:24pm On Nov 12, 2022
U lack brain for referring to my mum like that ,my mum isn't jobless.
Amumaigwe:


You obviously teamed up with your jobless mum to attempt to frustrate your father and he fought back and rightfully so. The locking of the fridge is only a symptom.of a bigger problem which you did not mention. He has seen that any investments on you is a wasted one and has faced his front enjoying his sweat alone. He owes you nothing not with your disrespectful attitude towards him. Go meet your feminist mum for succour. Men with unappreciative wife that are using her children against their father have so much to learn from your dad.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:26pm On Nov 12, 2022
Try making a good father to your children first
Camberlo:
Sincerely speaking, you can't make a good wife And it's clear that you are interfere in a dispute between your dad and mum.

Go and apologize to your dad and let your mum know you don't have to pick side.

To the men in the house, Hussle well and plan for your old age.

Most mother make life miserable for their old husband during old age.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:28pm On Nov 12, 2022
I never took sides with any of them infact the fight has gone way back as 15years why should I be taking sides now? I'm not fighting for my mum I'm only fighting for myself.
Bussydaniel:
You didn't tell us what happened between your dad and your mom before you decide to take side, try and make peace with him ask for forgiveness and then settle your parent, they have issue to settle you are in good position to do that
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:31pm On Nov 12, 2022
I didn't just go anywhere I went back to school and it not in my usual thing to come home often thou.
Anonymoususher:



From what I read your dad may be hot tempered but cares about his kids. Maybe he has fallen out of love with your mom but not with his kids.

You sound like a spoilt and disrespectful girl. You ran out of the house and for one year you didn't comeback but expected your father to call and beg you.

He even tried to have given you 50k after what you did yet you still disrespected him


Girl you are a brat
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:32pm On Nov 12, 2022
I didn't come home because of money I came home because it December and my mum and brothers want me to come home
Anonymoususher:


Irrespective why did she leave the house for one year?

She came back to demand for money, they gave her part and she rejected it.

What other clue do you need to accept that the babe is a spoilt and rude brat
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:39pm On Nov 12, 2022
Entitled! I don't remember it wrong for me to be entitled to my father's money or anything wrong for him to pay my school fee? If I had asked a my boyfriend of done something illegal same nairalanders with still have questions to ask me. And for d water in the fridge , have u been accused of doing something u didn't do and getting punished?
Originalsly:
It all started with a little fight about drinking water out of the fridge.

Are we to believe you drank water from the fridge and your father decided to lock the parlor? ... just like that? ...he said nothing about It before?... no warning ... no instructions ... nothing? We would like to know ... since this is the root of the problem ... according to you.
Why would you even fight your father over anything? ... is it because your no nonsense brother disrespects him you feel you are also entitled to do same? ... to the extent you can fight him? Do you realize your brother is independent? ... and is a man... like your father? Since you want to behave like a man .... at the age when you should be in courtship ... which man would want to be with a woman with a no nonsense man attitude? .... and a woman who fights her father?
Your father gave you N50K .... you refuse it because it is not enough.... you are entitled to N150K .... you will accept no less. In fact that N50K was like an insult. In the end ... you're asking if you should forgive your father. Really? I don't blame you... I blame your parents for allowing you to grow and mature in your entitlement mentality. The last opportunity your father had to reset you was with the fight over water.... he should've really rolled up his sleeves and beaten the shit out of you ... instead here you are ... still full of it and be up in here in NL dropping it in our face.
You are 24 years old ... go look at yourself in the mirror and you will see a whole lot is wrong with you. It is never too late to start working on yourself ... unless you believe you are flawless.



Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:43pm On Nov 12, 2022
Thank you for this, deep down I know my father loves me and I love him too. The problem I am just having with him is he gets angry easily and wouldn't even bother to listen to you ,he doesn't mind burning the whole house down.
Sleyanya1:


My dear, not everyone will understand your story or frustrations. We are mostly quick to judge. The truth is you don't need everyone's opinion.

Facts: Your dad cares less about you. May not be because he hates you but because of his mentality and past experiences (psychology).

The only escape here is for you to find a way to spend less time at home (good you're working) to dodge the space and interferences.

Desire to have money, but much more desire wisdom. Renew your respect for him and tender a genuine apology from your heart. After that, focus more on yourself and peace.

So many things to say, but I believe these would help.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:53pm On Nov 12, 2022
My dad has been like on and off caring and not caring for a very long time sincerely I don't have any concern about what is going on between them they should sort it infact most times I blame my mum because she is the only person I can confront, I dare not say a word to my dad . I know I'm wrong for pushing him it was out of frustration him knowing too well that I don't have any other means of survival and refusing to give me feeding money for me not my niece at first I was not bothered but anytime I thing about it to me it just purely wickedness. It was just a bottles up anger inside of me towards him that made me push that night.Im not certain there is anyone my dad respects atal he does anything he wants to.
penocrat1:
Psychology 101
Has your father always been like this?
Have you sat your father to discuss this issues with him and how things can get getter?
Is there something you are doing that your father does not like?
Is there something that your mother is doing that your father does not like?
Have you called your mother aside and asked her what she thinks is the course of this recent development?
You are 24 years old, If home is not conducive, leave home but maintain constant communication.
You rejected your father's 50k, how do you want him to feel low key. Be grateful for every little gesture. What if he was testing you?
You should have collected the money and gifted you mother or use it to restock the house.
Is your father looking happy? What do you think changed?
Is he in debt?
If he is a business man. How is his business fairing?
If he is a retiree, has he been happy since retirement?
Who does your father respect,fear or listen to his words be it religious leader, relative or friend. Talk to the person to talk to your father and when you are narrating the ordeal do not make your father look bad in their sight. Just tell the person that there is a recent development that you want the person to talk to your father for positive change.
Don't take sides all the time with your parents especially when you don't really know the root of the problem.
Finally forgive your parents.there is no law that said you should love them. The law only said you should respect and honour them.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 11:55pm On Nov 12, 2022
Entitlement kwa! If I'm not feeling entitled to my parents money my school fee who else's money should I feel entitled to?
Ephemmm:


She is seeing her father in the way he was painted by her mother, and this has lead to unconscious disposition of hatred towards her father. A father who has been responsible so far can't just stop to doing so overnight; something might have caused it.

You can also see that her entitlement mentality is second to none and she need to work on this.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 12:00am On Nov 13, 2022
Please just shut up and stop pushing anything to my mum, my mom never said anything to me ,I used to be 24 now I'm 26 u still tell me my mum as been
brain washing me? Am I blind have I not been seeing things? The person who I fight mostly is even my mom because I do tell her she knows the kind of person my dad is and still getting angry with him is just uncalled for
Ephemmm:


Your son will punch you when you grow up and you will learn in hard way. So, are you telling me that a father who has been responsible so far will just stop overnight without a cause?

She feels comfortable beating a three year old kid, but has the gut to raise her hand against her father when corrected. Yet, you are here spewing rubbish.

Her relationship with her father got severed due to the hatred and complaints handed over to her by her mother. Imagine, she even have a right to reject 50,000, but she is finding it difficult to realize 1,000 per day as a grown up adult.

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Awesome01(m): 12:02am On Nov 13, 2022
Enacto:
Did u see me complaining on not spending money on my mum? Pls don't quote what I didn't say�

Eyaaaah, @OP Sorry o. You don't need to transfer the aggression to me o. But, but, Maybe you should check the last paragraph of your write-up.

Enacto:


Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

Anyway, @Enacto. Follow the advices you've been given on the thread. Try and make peace with your Dad, even if your Mum had to plead with him on your behalf. Do this because of your piece of mind and not really his.

Moreover, pray for God's help and hustle. My parents abandoned me to fend for myself at 11. I trained myself up to where I am now (Not easy at all). But I'm contributing over 60% to their upkeep now.

Life is neither easy nor fair. Wish you the best of luck
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Enacto(f): 12:04am On Nov 13, 2022
No one is telling him to bow, he should just do the right thing, my dad is a good man I have always loved him than my mum , somethings are just very hard to explain untill you witness it
Ayomivic:


She talked about what her father was doing that she did not like but she did not boder to know what herself and her mom were doing that the father doesn't like.

You must submitt yourself to the control of your father. No man would want to bow to the command of his wife or his daughter or son. He is the head of the family. The king of the family. Yo enjoy him , you must accept him as that.

Are you into wook up what do you people called it. O don't know how to take survive in school when your parents did not send money to you.

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