ahnie:

It's a very lucrative business, that's one of my side hustles.
It gives you some sense of independence monetary,

Yes it is very lucrative for my mum too, thanks to the business my mum is able 2 train my 2 brothers in the university and my daughter to school , she is also feeding me and my irresponsible guy and his children. May she live long to reap the fruit of her labour in Jesus name amen

Red pill baby daddy. Typical weak man.

He's not man enough and wants your mother to woman up to his responsibilities.

You should be blamed for not seeing him for who he is. He probably controls you with his emotional baggage. This is why women must have standards. Forget the nonsense that deadbeats post here: pick a man who will provide for your family.

If he's not able to, he's a doorknob.

You're a very confused individual. It is the same bible that you are quoting that mandated "mutual partnership" and that the man should "be submitted to and respected" and regarded as the head of the house. It was not man who decided that for himself. It's like someone said earlier: you take from the bible only what supports your point of view. You even go further and distort what the bible says for your own benefit.

It is women like you who are sounding the death knell on marriage.

You go to work everyday and you submit to and respect your boss at work, since you are part of a team with the aim to achieve results. Then you go home and you decide you will not submit to your husband who is also a member and leader of your "home team" which is seeking to achieve a goal.

God did not say anywhere that you should submit to your husband so that your husband will carry you as a liability and take care of you. He says you should submit to your husband because both of you are members of a team and there must be a leader in any team if the goals of the team are to succeed, just as you need to submit to your boss at work in order to achieve team goals. As women with your mindset are refusing to submit to team leadership, that is why marriages are crashing every second and we ourselves have decided not to bother getting married.

Just as He requires you to be submissive, He also has requirements for your Team Leader(husband). He should love you as he loves himself, listen to you and understand where you are coming from and take your interest into consideration in all things. It is your responsibility as a woman to do your homework before you get married and be sure the man you want to marry is going to be the right boss for you. When you indiscriminately open your legs and get entangled with a man who turns out to be a nightmare boss, you don't get to come here and ridicule God and men. You made that choice of a boss.

I know a number of friends who declined the offer of good jobs simply because they examined the individual who will be their boss before they took the job and decided they didn't want such persons as their boss. Do your homework and change your mindset. Stop twisting things.

God also said that if you a woman, does not work, you should not eat. You should go hungry.

England is playing Iran at the World Cup. So, today I have time for all of you.

faithfull18:


So, you want mutual partnership yet you still want to be treated as the Lord and saviour.

You want mutual partnership, you want to be submitted to and respected.

You want mutual partnership, you want to be regarded as head of the house.

Now, tell me how it sounds to you.

Well, that's what the Bible says, if you don't like it, go and remove it.

NemoDatQuod:
You're a very confused individual. It is the same bible that you are quoting that mandated "mutual partnership" and that the man should "be submitted to and respected" and regarded as the head of the house. It was not man who decided that for himself. It's like someone said earlier: you take from the bible only what supports your point of view. You even go further and distort what the bible says for your own benefit.

It is women like you who are sounding the death knell on marriage.

You go to work everyday and you submit to and respect your boss at work, since you are part of a team with the aim to achieve results. Then you go home and you decide you will not submit to your husband who is also a member and leader of your "home team" which is seeking to achieve a goal.

God did not say anywhere that you should submit to your husband so that your husband will carry you as a liability and take care of you. He says you should submit to your husband because both of you are members of a team and there must be a leader in any team if the goals of the team are to succeed, just as you need to submit to your boss at work in order to achieve team goals. As women with your mindset are refusing to submit to team leadership, that is why marriages are crashing every second and we ourselves have decided not to bother getting married.

Just as He requires you to be submissive, He also has requirements for your Team Leader(husband). He should love you as he loves himself, listen to you and understand where you are coming from and take your interest into consideration in all things. It is your responsibility as a woman to do your homework before you get married and be sure the man you want to marry is going to be the right boss for you. When you indiscriminately open your legs and get entangled with a man who turns out to be a nightmare boss, you don't get to come here and ridicule God and men. You made that choice of a boss.

I know a number of friends who declined the offer of good jobs simply because they examined the individual who will be their boss before they took the job and decided they didn't want such persons as their boss. Do your homework and change your mindset. Stop twisting things.

God also said that if you a woman, does not work, you should not eat. You should go hungry.

England is playing Iran at the World Cup. So, today I have time for all of you.

A man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel.

Same bible says so. Why can't men read that part? Nowhere was it said that a woman should earn her keep by sweat.

It is men who are cursed to do that in that bible. So why should women have to toil the way you expect them to?

A lot of you only want the bible when you need a slave. Not when you need to be men. Submission isn't the part of the bible that teaches deadbeats to be men so it is pointless to drag women through what men should do for themselves to make themselves better.

Submission isn't the cure for deadbeatery.

Religious opiate.

Franciscabless:


He is the Head of the family it's his responsibility to provide for me and our children

Which law states that. I wonder how men date ladies like you though.

GboyegaD:


Which law states that. I wonder how men date ladies like you though.

According to Nigerians, what does "head of the home" mean? Or it suddenly doesn't apply to finances? What is "submission", according to Nigerians, and why does it apply to finances?

Who told you it is his duty to take care of you and the kids? It is the duty of both of you.

The One who created you says you should not eat, if you do not work. He also described a good woman as one who works hard not just at home, but also outside. Did you see where He stated that she manufactures goods by herself and sells to merchants and other business people for profit? That was four millenia ago. Yet in the 21st century you are waiting for the man to feed you. How is that working out for you?

I will not say "hello" to, let alone have even a one night stand with a woman who's sole identity is " I am a woman and I have something in between my legs". That is such a turn off. That may be the reason why your relationship is also in trouble. A woman whose sole identity is being a woman is not attractive at all.

Franciscabless:


Am not depending on him but it is his responsibility to provide for me and the children even if i starts working he must still have to provide 99% for us. I want him to do his duty because it is not my mum duty to be taking care of his children when he is working I am my mum responsibility but his children are not my mum responsibility

GboyegaD:


Which law states that. I wonder how men date ladies like you though.

Even myself I wonder how women date irresponsible men like you , didn't you read your bible where it stated the man is the head of a woman?

faithfull18:

A man who can't provide for his family is worse than an infidel - Bible talk am, I just helped you out.

That is a wrong quote. People knocking without dowry been paid shouldn't be judged by the Bible. While I do not agree with him not providing for his family, one should also ask why she thinks it is only his responsibility to do so.
Such Bible verses encourage some entitlement mentality.

Franciscabless:


He is the Head of the family it's his responsibility to provide for me and our children

So because he's the head of the family you want to fold your arms and leave the whole burden to him so you can have time to spend the whole day watching Telemundo abi?

Franciscabless:


Even myself I wonder how women date irresponsible men like you , didn't you read your bible where it stated the man is the head of a woman?

Aunty, you are fornication and mentioning the Bible? Carry your double standard go front.
That said, you don't know me nor my story thus, concluding I am irresponsible is fine provided it makes you feel better.
With this mentality of yours, I pray you don't end up an "alabodo" as the Yoruba's will call it as times have changed and every human should be independent to some great extent.

Kobicove:


So because he's the head of the family you want to fold your arms and leave the whole burden to him so you can have time to spend the whole day watching Telemundo abi?

Yes it is his duty to provide 99% even if I was working he still have to provide 99% , me as his helper I can help only help him with 1%. My duty is to stay at home and take care of his children while he is out there hustling hard to provide for me and our children

GboyegaD:


Which law states that. I wonder how men date ladies like you though.

Buddy...There are some reasoning that one need not to talk but use emoji to express how shocking it was...
To avoid being insulted, just zip it and keep reading..

Franciscabless:


It was my mum fault she choose implant , of course i I will take care of them along with their father by the time I take him to welfare they will deal with well well and he will provide by fire by force

Lol. This woman, "by fire by force".

This forum

May your God see you through. And don't have any more kids for any other irresponsible men, because you haven't yet learned to assess responsibility. Follow your mother to her business and everything will be alright.

So according to Nairaland men, a woman is the one to give birth, care for the kids, nurture them and also be the one to financially provide for them. E reach to ask what exactly is the usefulness of the average Nigerian man in this 21st century? Why won't a woman opt for an anonymous sperm donor when she knows she's expected to be both the mother and father to her child? Not one man here has berated the op's irresponsible baby daddy for neglecting his children. They said he's not married to her. So until he marries her, his children should starve and live at the mercy of their grandma? Utter nonsense!

As much as the op is wrong for giving birth without getting her life on track, the man is also wrong for refusing to provide for his children. How can you be living your life knowing that you have children with a mother who is unable to provide for them at the moment? Height of irresponsibility!

@op Franciscabless, don't let these deadbeat apologists discourage you from seeking upkeep for your children from their father. They his responsibility as much as they're yours. Just go about it politely, don't do gragra and appreciate whatever he gives. After this baby you lock up PERMANENTLY!

Franciscabless:



Your mum was so dumb that she did not abort you and here you are jobless idle and pathetic you can't wait to contribute to any thread just to get busy. Get a life

Aunty, you need a life. As a mother of 2 and expecting another depending on your mom and baby daddy is a big shame. Your smart mom raised a grown up baby who is lazy in all ramifications. Your laziness is irritating that your mom even had to choose your family planning option.
My advice, once you put to bed, zip up and wear the big girl panties as you need it. Work your ass off to ensure your children do better than this.

BRATISLAVA:


Lol. This woman, "by fire by force".

This forum

May your God see you through. And don't have any more kids for any other irresponsible men, because you haven't yet learned to assess responsibility. Follow your mother to her business and everything will be alright.

Amen thanks I am not having anymore kids I need to focus on my life and make sure I deal with him well well for child support. Even if we will not be together anymore he should at least be taking care of his offsprings

No. You did not have a better plan for yourself. Else, you would have stayed away from d..ck.
The plan you had for yourself was to enjoy what you were not ready to enjoy. You must have had your first child at 17. That means you got in the family way at 16.

There is no 16 year old who has a clear vision of what good she will achieve in life who will focus on the thing you focused on. You must start with taking responsibility for where you are and acknowledging that you went off the rail in an astonishing manner(Imagine hanging out with a dude with the heart and mindset to commit a crime that will send him to prison). Your continued sense of entitlement from your boyfriend and your mother do not seem to indicate that you have come to terms and acknowledged your significant mistakes and taken responsibility for them. It means you will continue to make further serious errors of judgment. It is such a shame because your written English posits that your mum spent resources, time and attention to give you a moderately good education.

When you finally come to your senses(whenever that will be) and have a clear vision of what good things you want out of life, that vision MUST include taking very good care of these three human beings you have brought into the world.

And stop wasting your time telling everyone how you're gonna leave your boyfriend. He left you a long while ago. So if staying under the same roof will give you the time to reflect on your life, then do it. That guy left you a while back. You're not the one going to leave him.

Franciscabless:


I had better plans for my life but lust has destroyed it. Am only 21 it is not over or too late for me to become a better person in the coming years.

dominique:
So according to Nairaland men, a woman is the one to give birth, care for the kids, nurture them and also be the one to financially provide for them. E reach to ask what exactly is the usefulness of the average Nigerian man in this 21st century? Why won't a woman opt for an anonymous sperm donor when she knows she's expected to be both the mother and father to her child? Not one man here has berated the op's irresponsible baby daddy for neglecting his children. They said he's not married to her. So until he marries her, his children should starve and live at the mercy of their grandma? Utter nonsense!

As much as the op is wrong for giving birth without getting her life on track, the man is also wrong for refusing to provide for his children. How can you be living your life knowing that you have children with a mother who is unable to provide for them at the moment? Height of irresponsibility!

@op Franciscabless, don't let these deadbeat apologists discourage you from seeking upkeep for your children from their father. They his responsibility as much as they're yours. Just go about it politely, don't do gragra and appreciate whatever he gives. After this baby you lock up PERMANENTLY!

It is good to want to support your gender but please do it reasonably. It is the joint responsibility of parents to take care of their offspring and waiting on welfare is a very lazy mentality.

Do not encourage her to keep been lazy waiting on the mom and husband because life could happen to anyone at any time thus, the need for her to be self sufficient.

As for your question on the average Nigerian man, even in the West, child support is often not sufficient to raise kids this, moms who choose to be lazy depend also on other welfare packages like food stamps and community pantry fir some free groceries that we don't have.

When you talk about what the scriptures say, you should quote it. Else, I won't listen or respond. I don't have time for so called men of god.

You should also read my comments well. Maybe you will understand. I use the logical part of the brain I have been blessed with.

BRATISLAVA:


A man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel.

Same bible says so. Why can't men read that part? Nowhere was it said that a woman should earn her keep by sweat.

It is men who are cursed to do that in that bible. So why should women have to toil the way you expect them to?

A lot of you only want the bible when you need a slave. Not when you need to be men. Submission isn't the part of the bible that teaches deadbeats to be men so it is pointless to drag women through what men should do for themselves to make themselves better.

Submission isn't the cure for deadbeatery.

Religious opiate.

ahnie:

Na you know wetin you dhey talk.
Na look I dey look you.

Mind you...we're not from same place.

oh we are...No vex Oh I know you

Franciscabless:


Go and die jobless irresponsible fool. if you've got an issue with my post , take sniper to end your mystery. Stop taking paracetamol for my headaches

You are the one who is in misery. You are the one crying and seeking public sympathy. Perhaps, living on nairaland is my job and Seun pays. At least, it is worth something. You can also apply since you have hands to type.

Some were asking why the men left you, hasn't your character shown your kind of person?

dominique:
So according to Nairaland men, a woman is the one to give birth, care for the kids, nurture them and also be the one to financially provide for them. E reach to ask what exactly is the usefulness of the average Nigerian man in this 21st century? Why won't a woman opt for an anonymous sperm donor when she knows she's expected to be both the mother and father to her child? Not one man here has berated the op's irresponsible baby daddy for neglecting his children. They said he's not married to her. So until he marries her, his children should starve and live at the mercy of their grandma? Utter nonsense!

As much as the op is wrong for giving birth without getting her life on track, the man is also wrong for refusing to provide for his children. How can you be living your life knowing that you have children with a mother who is unable to provide for them at the moment? Height of irresponsibility!

@op Franciscabless, don't let these deadbeat apologists discourage you from seeking upkeep for your children from their father. They his responsibility as much as they're yours. Just go about it politely, don't do gragra and appreciate whatever he gives. After this baby you lock up PERMANENTLY!

[b][/b]

All of them are irresponsible men who only knows how to give belle but they don't know how to take care of their offsprings in the name of the child will come looking for me when she or he grows up nonsense . I know the law say every fathers should be responsible for their offsprings and irresponsible man like him should be taking to welfare for child support and I will take him to welfare that's my final decision.

GboyegaD:


That is a wrong quote. People knocking without dowry been paid shouldn't be judged by the Bible. While I do not agree with him not providing for his family, one should also ask why she thinks it is only his responsibility to do so.
Such Bible verses encourage some entitlement mentality.

I never said there was anything bad in a woman earning to take care of herself, infact, I am all out for a woman harnessing her potentials and earning a living without being dependant on anybody.

A woman is an help mate, excusing the irresponsibility of the man who also fathered children he isn't ready to cater for is what I am against.

Klass99:


The Brat .

At the bolded, she shouldn't be having any more kids period. Whether with responsible or irresponsible men.

Motherhood is not for everyone and she clearly lacks the mentality, resources and spine to handle it. It goes beyond fcking and giving birth.

Why do some women sabotage and short-change their lives like this? We need to make better choices with self care and self preservation in mind.

Shut up barren you that have the mentality to be a mother how come you have been barren all your life ? Idiot

NemoDatQuod:
You're a very confused individual. It is the same bible that you are quoting that mandated "mutual partnership" and that the man should "be submitted to and respected" and regarded as the head of the house. It was not man who decided that for himself. It's like someone said earlier: you take from the bible only what supports your point of view. You even go further and distort what the bible says for your own benefit.

It is women like you who are sounding the death knell on marriage.

You go to work everyday and you submit to and respect your boss at work, since you are part of a team with the aim to achieve results. Then you go home and you decide you will not submit to your husband who is also a member and leader of your "home team" which is seeking to achieve a goal.

God did not say anywhere that you should submit to your husband so that your husband will carry you as a liability and take care of you. He says you should submit to your husband because both of you are members of a team and there must be a leader in any team if the goals of the team are to succeed, just as you need to submit to your boss at work in order to achieve team goals. As women with your mindset are refusing to submit to team leadership, that is why marriages are crashing every second and we ourselves have decided not to bother getting married.

Just as He requires you to be submissive, He also has requirements for your Team Leader(husband). He should love you as he loves himself, listen to you and understand where you are coming from and take your interest into consideration in all things. It is your responsibility as a woman to do your homework before you get married and be sure the man you want to marry is going to be the right boss for you. When you indiscriminately open your legs and get entangled with a man who turns out to be a nightmare boss, you don't get to come here and ridicule God and men. You made that choice of a boss.

I know a number of friends who declined the offer of good jobs simply because they examined the individual who will be their boss before they took the job and decided they didn't want such persons as their boss. Do your homework and change your mindset. Stop twisting things.

God also said that if you a woman, does not work, you should not eat. You should go hungry.

England is playing Iran at the World Cup. So, today I have time for all of you.

I think you sound more confused, the OP talked majorly about a man not bothered he fathered children and he is suppose to fend for them.

You guys always find a way to excuse your irresponsibility, at the same time, you want to maintain the status quo, lol, laughable.

So, as the head of a woman or home, what are your responsibilities?

If OP was properly married, the Bible says a man will leave his father and mother, cling to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

Will a man who sees his wife as the female version of himself decide to starve and maltreat himself??

A man is supposed to be the head financially, spiritually, emotionally, infact in every way.

And the woman is suppose to play her role accordingly.

OP, find legal means to earn, you aren't married to this man, also find ways to make him take up his responsibility. There's no gain in 'I trained them all by myself', the children are you both responsibility.

GboyegaD:


You are the one who is in misery. You are the one crying and seeking public sympathy. Perhaps, living on nairaland is my job and Seun pays. At least, it is worth something. You can also apply since you have hands to type.

Some were asking why the men left you, hasn't your character shown your kind of person?

Tell yourself the truth first fool. You are a disgrace to manhood. I never asked you to pity me. You are an idiot and the shit you wrote confirmed that.

faithfull18:

I never said there was anything bad in a woman earning to take care of herself, infact, I am all out for a woman harnessing her potentials and earning a living without being dependant on anybody.

A woman is an help mate, excusing the irresponsibility of the man who also fathered children he isn't ready to cater for is what I am against.

There are tell tale signs of irresponsible men and I can conclude you are not in the OPs position likely because you are responsible at least to yourself and you are not putting the carts before the horse.

We shouldn't blame the irresponsible men only because the women in most cases either .ade excuses for them or empowered them.

That said, at the brunt of it is the woman because it is always the case of "mother's baby, father's maybe". This is one of the reasons every lady should watch out for herself in a relationship.