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A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. (1268 Views)

Dear Men, DNA Test Is Around ₦100 To ₦200k. Don't Be Unfortunate. / I Made A Mistake For Asking My Wife For An Open Marriage (story For The TL) / I Had A Child With My Brother's Ex Wife. Please Read And Advice Me (2) (3) (4)

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A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Solitechworld(m): 11:53am On Dec 19, 2022
The husband is 64 now. Wife is 58 now. They married in Ibadan when the husband worked for PHCN.

When he met his wife, money was good. He was stealing from PHCN and stealing from communities at which he installed transformers and meters.

Wife had just completed OND at Polytechnic Ibadan. No job. Husband set her up with a provisions shop. Husband himself had OND from the same school.

They had the first child. Then the second. Then the third. All girls. They put them all through private schools, starting with kindergarten. Of course, husband, being a well-to-do guy at the time, picked 100% of the bills.

He bought a plot of land in the Olomi area of Ibadan and started to construct a four-flat building on it.

Boom! His father-in-law died and the wife inherited a building at Oke-Ado and a two-plot vacant parcel of land around Akobo. Akobo, at the time, was little more than a village but it was better planned...an estate.

(By the way, husband and wife are Ijebu from Ijebu-Ode and Ijebu-Remo respectively. But both were born and raised in Ibadan.)

They JOINTLY...as in...TOGETHER...decided that husband should abandon the Olomi project, which was at foundation level, and build a duplex on the land around Akobo. If you know Ibadan well, you will know that Olomi is to Akobo what Surulere is to Ikoyi.

Husband sold off Olomi and built a nice duplex on the front side of the double-plot land. So, they had (HAD) a huge garden in the back.

Or so he thought!

Are you following me?

Good.

Twenty-two years ago, while two of their children were still teenagers and one a pre-teen, wife convinced the husband to let her take the children to Manchester in the UK for summer holiday. She had a friend there.

Husband scrounged around for money. Things were no longer easy at work and he was at risk of being sacked. But he bought their tickets and gave them pocket money for two-months stay.

On getting to London (not Manchester as the wife had told him), wife called and told husband she was no longer returning to Nigeria!

That was the beginning of his ordeal.

He tried several times to get a visa to go meet his wife and try to settle the matter. He was denied visa. Apparently, his wife had named him in a petition in London as a wife-beater and child-abuser (thankfully, not child-molester), an accusation he said she never levelled against him while she was in Nigeria.

The narrator of the story to me is the husband. I asked him if he ever abused his children. He said both he and his wife used to beat them as parents whenever they deserved it but denied abuse.

I asked if he ever beat his wife. He said he'd slapped her twice in almost 40 years and both times were in the second year of their marriage.

I asked if she ever caught him cheating. I know he did (does) cheat. He answered in the affirmative...multiple times.

His wife stopped calling soon after she got to London. After a few years, his children also stopped calling.

Once PHCN folded up, he took a job with IBEDC but was soon let go.

He became an electricity contractor with an unsteady, unpredictable income.

So, last year January, tired of living alone, he moved a "young" 37-year-old divorced mother of two into his house. They had been dating for a while but the children are not his.

Wife, in London, who had not spoken to him since forever, found out and sought to evict him from the house.

How she found out, husband couldn't tell.

All he received were letters from lawyers and a court in Ibadan. Area boys too started threatening him and his new woman.

To cut this long story short, bulldozers came one Tuesday morning in August this year while nobody was home and pulled down the house.

This man has no single document linking him to the property. He doesn't even have an approved building plan although the house was nice. I have been in it.

At 64, after working for so long, risking jail to provide better life for his wife and children, they all abandoned him. The "little" attempt to enjoy the short time left for him in this world...bringing another woman into a house abandoned by his wife...cost him the house and he is now renting a place with money donated by friends.

At 64!

NB - 1: Agbejo-Apakan da, agba osika ni. This is just the husband's side of the story...except for the little bit about philandering that I witnessed and the fact that I knew the house. I never met his Londoner wife but I met the new woman twice or so. I am sure the wife's side of the story will be significantly different but I have no way of knowing.

NB - 2: The husband is no longer my Facebook friend. (He is one of those Yoruba Nesan people I removed a while back.) But we remain good friends off Facebook. I had no idea his house was demolished until a mutual friend reached me for contribution to his rent money.

NB - 3: The mutual friend is here reading this. And by the way, I have the husband's permission to share the story. He swears with the Quran that his "sins" were that his wife caught him cheating when she was not satisfying him sexually.

Ko je bo se je.

Oyeniran Damilola narrated the story

Ile aye, Ibudo ola
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Aareakinwunmi: 12:10pm On Dec 19, 2022
What a wicked wife...
At least he deserves an explanation for her hatred towards him. But it's a lesson for we men, still contemplating if I should marry or not.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by ikeno(m): 1:04pm On Dec 19, 2022
It's ludicrous to paint the woman as a wicked woman without hearing her own side of the story.

One thing I know is that someone that think he's unfairly punished/victimized gives a positive narrative about himself.

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Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Tayorshd2(m): 2:33pm On Dec 19, 2022
Truly is bad to judge without hearing the other side of the story from the woman ..

But with my little idea I believe no matter what happened the woman shouldn't have done that to the extent of using lawyer to vacate him from the house they both agreed and huold from young age when things are still booming for them ...


Woman fear them

2 Likes

Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by ikeno(m): 2:53pm On Dec 19, 2022
Tayorshd2:
Truly is bad to judge without hearing the other side of the story from the woman ..

But with my little idea I believe no matter what happened the woman shouldn't have done that to the extent of using lawyer to vacate him from the house they both agreed and huold from young age when things are still booming for them ...


Woman fear them
The man should have gone to court too to stop his eviction and demolition of the building

1 Like

Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Businessman1986(m): 3:01pm On Dec 19, 2022
I have very little sympathy for men who conform eagerly to society's standards. Love hardly lasts. Almost never. And the biggest investor in a relationship has the most to lose when things go south. Be measured in your dealings and feelings.

Your wife is a whole other human. They are not your blood. You are meant to be very prepared and rational when dealing with them.

2 Likes

Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Tayorshd2(m): 4:24pm On Dec 19, 2022
ikeno:

The man should have gone to court too to stop his eviction and demolition of the building

According to the writer he has no book or land title about the properties all is with the wife due to love
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Solitechworld(m): 5:41pm On Dec 19, 2022
ikeno:

The man should have gone to court too to stop his eviction and demolition of the building

Without necessary documents ?
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Curiouscity(m): 7:13pm On Dec 19, 2022
This is one of the reasons I always advise modern Nigerian men, try to know the exact motives behind your wife's suggestions and demands.
Most of their suggestions have selfish and sometimes wicked motives.

Many good women out there, but also many wicked/hardened ones.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by DontBullshitMe: 10:19pm On Dec 19, 2022
Fiction. . .but continue.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by faceLAGOS: 3:11am On Dec 20, 2022
After snake, fear Nigerian women.

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Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Musty112: 8:48am On Dec 20, 2022
Imagine your spouse being the reason that you end up in hell. Oh lord please grant us with those that will be the coolness of our eyes
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by world123: 3:44pm On Dec 20, 2022
The anger of woman has the power to pull a man down. The worst set of people to deal with are people who don't express themselves when you hurt them; they act like all is good. When they are ready for you, you won't see it coming.

2 Likes

Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Solitechworld(m): 6:09pm On Dec 20, 2022
Musty112:
Imagine your spouse being the reason that you end up in hell. Oh lord please grant us with those that will be the coolness of our eyes

Aamin
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Curiouscity(m): 6:40pm On Dec 20, 2022
DontBullshitMe:
Fiction. . .but continue.

To you it sounds fake. But people are going through this quite often. I have a similar case very close to me.
Some women can be mean when they want to hurt you or take revenge.

1 Like

Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Ovieemmanuel: 6:42pm On Dec 20, 2022
Very wicked woman. I pray he finds his feet again.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by fyzaila: 10:35pm On Dec 20, 2022
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by sisisioge: 11:11pm On Dec 20, 2022
Hmmmm.....couples must know that they both need protection from each other no matter how sweet their relationship is. Imagine if he had properly documented the property to belong to himself and the madam at the start of the construction? Simple common sense. I cant shout biko.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by culf: 11:53pm On Dec 20, 2022
its unfortunate. please plan for your old age, don't ever depend on children, pension or property alone.
Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by ibkayee(f): 12:05am On Dec 21, 2022
You’re painting this like the guy was a total saint.

He said he has admitted to being a serial cheater and has also hit her before, the way you’ve glossed over any form of culpability he has is so typical. Only God knows what else has been downplayed or omitted from the story

I was expecting to feel really bad for the guy but then just ended up shrugging.

There’s likely a lot more to the story that you may or may not be aware of but your bias is glaring

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Re: A Real Life Story For Everybody To Read And Digest - May We Not Be Unfortunate. by Pootle: 2:57pm On Dec 21, 2022
elders on NL summon the Londoner wife before its panel on this forum by 8am tomorrow cool

failure to appear mean she his guilty

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