If your husband can do this...he will end gambling..chat me up on WhatsApp. 07031646274

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Have a personal time with him to discuss this situation and see if he is going to change and if doesn't coordinate himself threaten him with a divorce for his bad habits and see his brain will reset but please don't divorce just help him out of the situation, it's not easy to quit gambling it takes the grace of God and encouragement from people like you to help him out. My 2cent.

Zetty177x:
Hmmm very serious matter. Don't even know what to advice. I was told that one of my uncle did same. ..his wife ended up doing most things. He later stopped gambling when he turned 80. The wife still de with am...they should be above 80 something..maythe old generation de do this kain love. Gamblers don't stop. If u fit stay, stay. If not, waka

lies gamblers stops,if you are ready to path with ur loss you can stop it

Kobojunkie:
Keep enduring to what end?

babe its not easy any were o,the list u can do is try talking to sombody he listened to o a close pastor,if nothing happens, i always tell my wife that nomatter how i change reach stil continue to be a good wife,and one day i will reflect on change.if worst ,then u too use the feeding money and also too, go and play bet niga in the near shop, and when he comes back and ask of food,put the ticket inside the plate n cover it saying breakfast is served.

He is probably going through stress and you are in a position to help yet you complain.. what heart of wickedness will say she will not leave food for him when he returns from work.. WICKED SOUL.. To marry, you will pretend once married, you reveal your soul.. How can you condescend so low because of food.. You are sick and wicked but you just don't know it.

HEAR YOURSELF FOR CHRIST SAKE. FOOD OF ALL THINGS..

edunaragold:
■ babe its not easy any were o,the list u can do is try talking to sombody he listened to o a close pastor,if nothing happens,
■i always tell my wife that nomatter how i change reach stil continue to be a good wife,and one day i will reflect on change.
■if worst ,then u too use the feeding money and also too, go and play bet niga in the near shop, and when he comes back and ask of food,put the ticket inside the plate n cover it saying breakfast is served.

1. Talking to someone close to him will make him change?

2. If your wife changed in the same way, will you yourself continue to be a good husband to her until the day she too "will reflect on change", no matter how many years that will take?

3. So, if the wife uses feeding money to gamble too, what will become of the kids? How will they feed at that point?

latolz:
■He is probably going through stress
■and you are in a position to help yet you complain..
■what heart of wickedness will say she will not leave food for him when he returns from work.. WICKED SOUL.. To marry you will pretend once married you reveal your soul.. How can you condescend so low because of food.. You are sick and wicked but you just don't know it.

HEAR YOURSELF FOR CHRIST SAKE. FOOD OF ALL THINGS..

1. You say that he is going through stress and the way to handle his stress is to gamble away money meant to feed himself and his family?

2. She is in a position to help him because he is a child that she is meant to care for and raise?

3. So never mind that the man gambles even feeding money away, her soul is wicked for refusing to share the little that she was able to get for her kids with him?

Kobojunkie:
The children are already torn in the marriage living anxious as it is. Op told you her kid does not go to bed until the dad comes back home. Don't tell me that you think that is normal behavior?

The family is already broken and the man's habit is one of the major cause.

You are not being rational in thought here. Reason why the kid doesn't go to bed till his dad returns is because he has a strong attachment to his father. Now if the father has to be separated from them, you know how bad that will be?

Why are you even like this. So because he is a gambler, you think he is doomed and a way to help him should not be considered. Come on!

Kobojunkie:
Why must she pray because she doesn't want to leave? All the others wey don pray, millions of them are still at it so many years on. Why must she join their ranks?

The chances of prayer resolving this seems same as chances of winning the lottery. So why give prayer as a probable here?

It's like you like to rant unnecessarily.
What do you suggest for her to do?

For all you know, you will leave him and finally his ticket will click

Gambling addiction is a terrible disease.

And there are triggers everywhere. online, offline, no escape.

ibechris:
Gambling is one of the most destructive habits in Nigeria.

It has rendered men and women useless,inefficient,lazy and terrible,spoilt and some armed robbers.

There is always this tendency for stealing anything around them,that which most of them indulge in.

I pity u real good and i can tell what u have gone through to still keep the family going.

MY advice is for u to Google and seek ways to solve this problem or u report him to his family as soon as possible.

Note: that some would advice wrongly because they own naija bet shops,so be careful of the kind of advice they will give u here.

Kobojunkie:
1. You say that he is going through stress and the way to handle his stress is to gamble away money meant to feed himself and his family?

2. She is in a position to help him because he is a child that she is meant to care for and raise?

3. So never mind that the man gambles even feeding money away, her soul is wicked for refusing to share the little that she was able to get for her kids with him?

Your kobo thoughts are funny.. I am specifically refering to food and you are busy speaking gibberish... I am in no way supporting gambling but i am categorically against the intentional act of hunger..simple

"For better or worse" should be removed from wedding vows.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Speak to him about it..if he doesn'tsn't head to your advice then i'd advise you file for a divorce!
The thing is pathological gambling has the potential to destroy marriages – and if your soon-to-be-ex has a gambling problem...you know how difficult it can be to deal with...When you're divorcing someone with a gambling issue..you're up against many obstacles...You might even question whether your companion has a gambling problem or is simply reckless and irresponsible...

Many people have misconceptions regarding what constitutes problematic gambling... Your partner may have a gambling addiction even if he does not gamble every day or can afford to lose money..

Gambling addiction is frequently marked by:
• Feeling compelled to keep gambling a secret..

• When there isn't enough money to spare he gambles..

• Having difficulties keeping his gambling under control..
Spouses and children frequently pay the price for one person's gambling addiction...Bills may go unpaid..budgets may have to be stretched, and gambling can even result in job loss...

It may sound cliched.. but gamblers must desire to seek help...You won't help your spouse stop gambling unless he recognizes that there is a problem and is eager to seek treatment... Even so..your companion must adhere to the treatment plan and in most situations refrain from gambling...
If you're considering divorcing someone with a gambling addiction.. the first thing you should do is go to a divorce lawyer..

Your lawyer can explain how alimony is calculated and how your marital property (or debt) will be shared. He or she will also respond to any of your inquiries about the divorce process taking into account your specific circumstances... Enjoy!

kingthreat:
■You are not being rational in thought here. Reason why the kid doesn't go to bed till his dad returns is because he has a strong attachment to his father.
■Now if the father has to be separated from them, you know how bad that will be?
■Why are you even like this. So because he is a gambler, you think he is doomed and a way to help him should not be considered. Come on!

1. Strong attachment that causes the kid to be unable to sleep when the father is not home? Are you certain I am the one who is not being rational at all here?

When I was a kid, I used to have such anxieties too. I would stay up late waiting and hoping my dad would come home. Now, I and my father weren't close at all but because of his "extramarital activities", I worried and worried and worried, and many nights, I would wait until I finally collapsed out of exhaustion. Kids aren't stupid. Many a time those young minds already know what is going on with their parents and they know it is bad, and they worry about their parents. That worry is what keeps them up waiting, and even gives them nightmares, eventually eroding their waking lives.

2. Worse than it already is with the kid having anxieties when the father is not home yet?

3. The only one who can help him is himself. Fighting mental illness in a loved one is like fighting a monster carrying multiple bombs around. Each time a bomb explodes, you will get hurt by it, and your loved one happens to be the monster that caused it. Now, the monster is hard to control as it has to decide on its own when it has had enough of the painful experience. Until then, there is nothing you can do.

This woman has children to raise and is strapped for money to raise them. She has to work hard to make money to feed her boys and maintain her home and sanity. On top of that, she has a husband who continuously comes to bill her every so often in order to feed his gambling demons. Do you think separation or divorce is worse than what she is currently having to deal with at this point?

latolz:
Your kobo thoughts are funny.. I am specifically refering to food and you are busy speaking gibberish... I am in no way supporting gambling but i am categorically against the intentional act of hunger..simple

So the man who intentionally gambles away the money meant for feeding his family, you have excuses for. Rather, he woman who refused to feed a man who intentionally gambled away money meant for feeding his family is the one you choose to blame.

prophetfire:
It's like you like to rant unnecessarily. What do you suggest for her to do?

I believe OP already knows what she wants to do.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

I wish i could provide you with a shoulder to cry on and strong arms to protect you.
Sweet words to affirm to you that everything will be alright.
God knows I've got the broad shoulders to do just that.

every relationship has some quirks - Some will say Thank God he comes home and that he doesn't beat you.
I am sorry but leaving /divorcing him will only address one of the Issues which is you'd be at liberty to find true love again and hopefully building an economic foundation . Dont worry about your kids - they are resilient and will get over easily than you think.

He would need to reach rock bottom before he comes to his senses and apologizes but personally I find the environment toxic at the moment. Maybe first step be separation as there's a chance of reconciliation.

Best of Luck

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhap

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

https://www.nairaland.com/7138507/not-marriage-mind
This is me just that my own husband's addiction is alcohol. I have learnt to find happiness elsewhere (not with another man o). I find joy in myGod, children,my job and my family members. I no dey look him side because I refuse to die of hypertension. I keep my money very well
And make myself as happy as I can. When he saw the change he started getting worried that may be I am up to something and I have been noticing small changes in him, he has gotten much better

The problem is an addicted person has to first of all realise that they have a problem or else no amount of help will help them

lawzolk:

I don't need to argue this. If I tell you my whole story, u will know where I am coming from.

Help is on the way brother.


You'll smile and be yourself again.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Speak to him about it..if he doesn'tsn't head to your advice then i'd advise you file for a divorce!
The thing is pathological gambling has the potential to destroy marriages – and if your soon-to-be-ex has a gambling problem...you know how difficult it can be to deal with...When you're divorcing someone with a gambling issue..you're up against many obstacles...You might even question whether your companion has a gambling problem or is simply reckless and irresponsible...

Many people have misconceptions regarding what constitutes problematic gambling... Your partner may have a gambling addiction even if he does not gamble every day or can afford to lose money..

Gambling addiction is frequently marked by:
• Feeling compelled to keep gambling a secret..

• When there isn't enough money to spare he gambles..

• Having difficulties keeping his gambling under control..
Spouses and children frequently pay the price for one person's gambling addiction...Bills may go unpaid..budgets may have to be stretched, and gambling can even result in job loss...

It may sound cliched.. but gamblers must desire to seek help...You won't help your spouse stop gambling unless he recognizes that there is a problem and is eager to seek treatment... Even so..your companion must adhere to the treatment plan and in most situations refrain from gambling...
If you're considering divorcing someone with a gambling addiction.. the first thing you should do is go to a divorce lawyer..

Your lawyer can explain how alimony is calculated and how your marital property (or debt) will be shared. He or she will also respond to any of your inquiries about the divorce process taking into account your specific circumstances... Enjoy!

Ode ni baba ati iya e. Osinwin ni e gan gan. Omo ale tun ni e pelu. Someone said that her husband is addicted to gambling and you are here spewing nonsense. Is divorce the solution? Na so divorce easy?

Kobojunkie:
So marriage na lifetime shackle?

I don't give a hoot whatever you may call it...
What I'm saying is they it's her choice.
Who chose him for her?

So, let her take accountability and responsibility for her senseless choice

Most Nigerian youth intense hunger for easy money, because both in church,mosque, politics, the home front value is not modeled to people. Pray he see reasons to turn a new page?

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

kaymart:
■I don't give a hoot whatever you may call it... What I'm saying is they it's her choice. Who chose him for her? So, let her take accountability and responsibility for her senseless choice

So, by taking "accountability and responsibility for her senseless choice" you imply that she is to remain shackled to a man whose mind and behavior work against her and her family? Basically a sort of punishment for her choosing him to begin with?

If you ended up in a bad marriage yourself, are you willing to apply the same logic and stick it out no matter what hell your woman dishes out to you?

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even s
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Ask PO shebi na him want become presido

Kobojunkie:
So, by taking "accountability and responsibility for her senseless choice" you imply that she is to remain shackled to a man whose mind and behavior work against her and her family? Basically a sort of punishment for her choosing him to begin with?

If you ended up in a bad marriage yourself, are you willing to apply the same logic and stick it out no matter what hell your woman dishes out to you?

I won't end up in one...
Did u?

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

If what you said is the true,I'll advice you run away from that man before you kill yourself of high blood pressure. People with betting habit hardly change o, only God can help them.

I have a friend who have being playing that betting since 2013 till date, and he hasn't changed. I gave him wide distance because he became an interruption to my focus.

Cut that man off pls, before something bad happens to you.

kaymart:
I won't end up in one...
Did u?

Again, If you were to end up in a bad marriage yourself, would you be willing to apply the same logic and stick it out no matter what hell your woman dished out?

Kobojunkie:
Wow... so the woman's life amounted to not much else?

Old school de bear. But I nor understand ur response.

Truth is some women don't leave gamblers. Some do. In the past things were cheap , so it won't matter...now bread na #900...egg-#100, it's tough

Kobojunkie:
1. Strong attachment that causes the kid to be unable to sleep when the father is not home? Are you certain I am the one who is not being rational at all here?

When I was a kid, I used to have such anxieties too. I would stay up late waiting and hoping my dad would come home. Now, I am my father wasn't close at all but because of his extra activities, I worried and worried and worried, and many nights, I would wait until I finally collapsed out of exhaustion. Kids aren't stupid. Many a time those young minds already know what is going on and they know it is bad and they worry about their parents. That worry is what keeps them up waiting, and even gives them nightmares, eventually eroding their waking lives.

2. Worse than it already is with the kid having anxieties when the father is not home yet?

3. The only one who can help him is himself. Fighting mental illness in a loved one is like fighting a monster carrying multiple bombs around. Each time a bomb explodes, you will get hurt by it, and your loved one happens to be the monster that caused it. Now, the monster is hard to control as it has to decide on its own when it has had enough of the painful experience. Until then, there is nothing you can do.

This woman has children to raise and is strapped for money to raise them. She has to work hard to make money to feed her boys and maintain her home and sanity. On top of that, she has a husband who continuously comes to bill her every so often in order to feed his gambling demons. Do you think separation or divorce is worse than what she is currently having to deal with at this point?

You have a point on your first and second. However, on the third. I beg to differ. I am happy you stated it is a mental illness. And if it is an illness, it can be treated yes or no? Or do treatments for mental issues not work? I was once treated for depression and I came up stronger. So sir, let them try to get him treated. A degenerate gambler can become a more responsible father. Unfortunate there are few professionals that can actually handle cases like this. Come to think of it, offering a service to chronic gamblers can be a new side-hustle for shrinks to make extra cash.

Your point on how bad habits can destroy one's partner is very valid. I have been through that on someone with a way worse mental illness than gambling and it is a kind of hell. Please see reason in the man getting help. If the help doesn't work, then she can leave for the sake of her life and her children because he can be on a path to destruction and willing to drown everyone else with it.

God will see you through. It's a challenge and two of you must face it together. If he be coming a millionaire today, will you say you want to Divorce him? He is poor and you know the reason he is poor. Why can't sacrifice by invite pastor and his family on him? He has a bad habit and two of you must work together to solve the problems.

kingthreat:
■You have a point on your first and second. However, on the third. I beg to differ. I am happy you stated it is a mental illness. And if it is an illness, it can be treated yes or no? Or do treatments for mental issues not work? I was once treated for depression and I came up stronger. So sir, let them try to get him treated. A degenerate gambler can become a more responsible father. Unfortunate there are few professionals that can actually handle cases like this. Come to think of it, offering a service to chronic gamblers can be a new side-hustle for shrinks to make extra cash.

■Your point on how bad habits can destroy one's partner is very valid. I have been through that on someone with a way worse mental illness than gambling and it is a kind of hell. Please see reason in the man getting help. If the help doesn't work, then she can leave for the sake of her life and her children because he can be on a path to destruction and willing to drown everyone else with it.

1. How long did you suffer this depression you say you were treated for? With mental health, treatment is meant as a method of managing the problem. It is not to be confused with complete healing of the situation.

Why would it be a side hustle when it is part of their job as psychiatrists to tend to those who have problems with addictions?

2. I believe everyone who has a mental problem should get help but sadly help costs money and right now Mrs. there is already strapped for cash as it is. I don't think the man will consider saving up some of the cash he gambles away to help himself. So?

Kobojunkie:
Again, If you were to end up in a bad marriage yourself, would you be willing to apply the same logic and stick it out no matter what hell your woman dished out?

I take responsibility for the outcome of
every decision that I make in life however it may turn out (good or bad)