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I Am Depressed - Family (3) - Nairaland

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I Am Depressed Due To Excess Billing From Home / I Am Depressed About My Marriage. / Am Depressed And Keep Thinking About Dieing (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Depressed by LadyRosa(f): 9:29pm On Jan 13, 2023
drdeath:

Chinchin Dey yr head

Groundnut sit-down for ya own head.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by spiceadole: 9:29pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

Marry a new wife.
Afterall,women are everywhere.

Yeye dey smell

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Mrkumareze(m): 9:30pm On Jan 13, 2023
Jashub:
Op, forget her and move on . When hunger and shame torture her she'll come crawling back. Secondly , it won't be easy for her to find someone willing to marry her and bear the burden of carrying the financial responsibility of her son .

Lol...Infact , I pity this woman . She's deluded and doesn't know that being a single mother is the worst sentence a woman can give herself in this harsh economy.

You should be bold enough to tell OP about his anger too. Anger is fvcking bad, I'm a member of that team but I learnt to manage mine to a bearable minimum

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by HIPROFILE(m): 9:30pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



Tell me what you would have done if this happened to u .

I just want to learn from you .The fact that my wife is not someone who like saying sorry .

See ehn, ordinary SORRY would have saved all these dramas .She didn't accept she was wrong

As simple as it sounds and is written, it is just too difficult for some persons to utter even when thats all it takes to save a potential calamity amongst the people involved…WHY

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by Rapht933: 9:32pm On Jan 13, 2023
patient is every thing in this life. it's risk taken decision when u are angry ask questions before any decision is taken.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by kaywhy09(m): 9:32pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



Tell me what you would have done if this happened to u .

I just want to learn from you .The fact that my wife is not someone who like saying sorry .

See ehn, ordinary SORRY would have saved all these dramas .She didn't accept she was wrong

This is exactly one of the issues.

You have your faults too.

Above all, this mess happens when there's no sustainable financial buoyancy.

Be strong, you'll find your peace.

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by favour32(m): 9:32pm On Jan 13, 2023
Recent marriages be like home videos.
If them act finish, everybody enter e house.

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by Lucrativress(f): 9:33pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


I didn't chase her away ,She did herself .If she doesn't come back,I will move on .I will always be there to help financially

I don't blame you OP
If she had resources of her own from time, you'll respect her and not scare her with those "pack out of my out rants"

Her messages sounds like that of a woman who has bottled up hurts for years, the tone of her text seems like that of a woman you've made to cry.

Don't you trust your wife?
Don't you know if she is capable of cheating on you or not?
Have you ever caught her cheating?

Do you know the meaning of benefits of doubts at all?
When she explained why she didn't pick your calls, why not give her the benefit of doubt?

You are now seeing money, next thing is shouting at flimsy stuffs for her to leave your House

I pity you
You don't like peace of mind, a woman that stayed since 2013, built up and persevered with you, I'm sure there were other men asking her out as at then but she decided to stick with you.

If you follow those saying dump her and stuffs, truth is, you'll never come across someone who loves you internally on a crude emotional level.

That her texts shows you've hurt her, better cry and kneel and beg her to come back, win her back and work on your silly trust issues.

Stop taking out your financial anger on her, learn to be a gentleman..

29 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by descarado: 9:33pm On Jan 13, 2023
Very toxic man.
Kudos to those who manage toxic relationship.
Yours truly can't.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Prechgold1180(m): 9:35pm On Jan 13, 2023
WhoDeyHause:
Just forget about her. She has found someone new.

Shut up kid

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Nicepoker(m): 9:37pm On Jan 13, 2023
Op go ahead and marry another woman. I will support you financially grin
Re: I Am Depressed by sorextee(m): 9:38pm On Jan 13, 2023
Nice one. I like this your response. This is why if I call you twice and you didn't pick up, if it's an important call, I will send an SMS to let you know why I was calling. If it's not an important call, I will let u be till u call back. That man has serious anger issues. He needs to work on himself first. Just as you said earlier too, seems it ain't the first time he's doing such to his wife.

Kobojunkie:
1. Is the phone meant to be some sort of leash on her? Phone etiquette is that if you try to reach someone and the person is unavailable, you allow the person to call you back when the person is able to. According to your story, she explained that there was a power outage, and she couldn't charge the phone. So what exactly what she supposed to apologize to you for? undecided

2. Is the name she saves your number on her phone part of your marriage agreement or something? Why does it matter if she saves your number under "Douchbag"? undecided

3. You need to get yourself to a professional anger management class first. This new year, please endeavor to get a book on logical/critical reasoning/thinking so you can grow your mind and as such become able to logically analyze your decisions, and the world around you, including your relationships for yourself. I recommend the book Being Logical. However, any other text that sufficiently teaches you how to critically reason day-to-day issues out will work too. the key is to put into regular(continuous) practice what you learn so you become a more logical being than you are today. undecided

9 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by IamMobisola(f): 9:38pm On Jan 13, 2023
abbey621:
Mr. man do you want to hear the truth or gibberish from people whose homes are not tidy itself? Concentrate on your son, hire a good lawyer, go to court and sue for custody. In Nigeria, the father gets to keep the child 90% of the time especially if the child is no longer a baby. Why did I say forget the woman? It is simple, she can be a nice lovely wife but her family's behavior is unacceptable. A good parent would call the husband over and find ways to resolve the issues not pour kerosene on it!

See, it is clear that they don't rate you and the best you can do is be a man and not show weakness in this situation. Yes you have anger issue, yes you said hurtful words but a wife that cannot discern the difference between anger and hate deserves to be single. Give her what she wants, time at her father's house but make sure you fight for your son, nothing more, nothing less.....RUBBISH!

Lie of the century. Na him born the child with his womb? Lol. Except there’s a case sickness or mental disorder with the mother or if the mother poses a danger to the child(ren). The mother always gets custody of the child(ren), even here in Nigeria except of course the father is wealthy and dirty person who would rather bribe a judge to get custody.

16 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Isabi4lov: 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
undecided some men sef , i don't just know how you people will bring stories that sound irritating online and expect online in-laws to clap for you There are somethings one need to be ashamed of especially in public , this story is one of such , you guys are just three in the house yet you can't coordinate your home.

You're just saying I love my wife , I love my wife guess you don't know the true meaning of love . We are tired of hearing all these stories in marriages , we want to hear stories that will encourage the singles to see the need of getting married.

Maybe you guys are just cooking up these stories to spite the female gender . My wife is this and that , what about you the husband undecided

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by chris51(f): 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
TheGoodAmerican:
You told her you don't want to see her anymore simply because she couldn't pick up the phone the first few times you called her. This is a woman you're married to and the mother of your child, and you're talking to her anyhow. From your post, this was probably not the first time you're telling her such words. You also mention nagging. You cannot be verbally abusive towards your wife repeatedly and be difficult to live with and expect her to not get fed up one day.



God bless you for your mature advice. You are very honest, it's now left for the angry man to accept your advice

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by chris51(f): 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
chris51:




God bless you for your mature advice. You are very honest, it's now left for the angry man to accept your advice

2 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Iamthoney(m): 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
Person wey dey calm and reserve go gently probe him wife how the phone was able to ring when there was power outage and from then gauge her response. Op just run conclude by himself cos that is how he’s being treating his wife. Baba your Bleep up pass your wife own

8 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by ZINNYBANKS: 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
make person just give birth jare all these marriage wahala too much ..

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by Father254: 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
[quote author=breakthrough22 post=119912002]Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.


This is the problem of marrying a beautiful wife and maybe she feels she can take care of herself without you.

If a woman wants to cheat on you nothing can stop her and that's the more reason to guide your heart by trusting what she says about her location. To safe yourself from HB.
Never give room to negative imagination.
She may be saying the truth of being faithful since it's easier for a man to cheat than a woman.
Just trust her until her sins finds her out openly.
When a woman cheats, love is gone and in a short while it will show.

Call the father and speak with him that is if you have finished everything about her traditional rights. She will come back if you press the family button.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by grandstar(m): 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
Jashub:
Op, forget her and move on . When hunger and shame torture her she'll come crawling back. Secondly , it won't be easy for her to find someone willing to marry her and bear the burden of carrying the financial responsibility of her son .

Lol...Infact , I pity this woman . She's deluded and doesn't know that being a single mother is the worst sentence a woman can give herself in this harsh economy.

Na wa oh! You have zero empathy for the woman. She's miserable and tired of the abuse. I feel for her.

Your own be say "She is a woman. She should even be happy that a man has to even put up with it". When I say 'it', I mean the woman.

They are human and have a right to be treated decently (Read Matthew 7:12). Men who maltreat their wives may have their prayers hindered by God.

18 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Mrkumareze(m): 9:39pm On Jan 13, 2023
OP, there's no marriage without lapses. From your explanations, you have accepted bn guilty . Please , work on your Anger, I was once in that team but I'm currently doing well in its management . Learn to keep calm, giving room to exchange of words causes much anger. Also learn to tolerate certain things, once a man get married, he must accommodate some nonsense and sense. Even those who claim to be Alpha, when u view their secrete in marriage, u will be wondering if its d the same man or another version.

So for now, just let her relax, she will be back to you. Her parents she ran to ll still provoke her someday . Any woman who once enjoyed freedom from her parents, ll hardly survive going back to them.
On Sunday, you can get a matured man to accompany to her parents house, just tell them you came to check if your wife and kids actually returned to them.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by chinonyinye: 9:40pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.



So, you opened your mouth to tell somebody that she is your biggest mistake in life and that you have never achieved anything in life because of her?
And you are wondering why she left.

Why are you complaining now? I thought you'd be very happy that the mistake has decided to right itself and leave. You are not even feeling remorseful about your behavior. You claim you get angry easily yet you destroy someone's happiness and self esteem and the most annoying part is that your cronies on nairaland are supporting you that you are right even when it is very clear that you are very toxic.

You are even feeling arrogant and can't apologize.
Please change your keys oo. You wife doesn't deserve an inconsiderate and verbally abusive person like you.

16 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by angelboy01(m): 9:40pm On Jan 13, 2023
abbey621:
Mr. man do you want to hear the truth or gibberish from people whose homes are not tidy itself? Concentrate on your son, hire a good lawyer, go to court and sue for custody. In Nigeria, the father gets to keep the child 90% of the time especially if the child is no longer a baby. Why did I say forget the woman? It is simple, she can be a nice lovely wife but her family's behavior is unacceptable. A good parent would call the husband over and find ways to resolve the issues not pour kerosene on it!

See, it is clear that they don't rate you and the best you can do is be a man and not show weakness in this situation. Yes you have anger issue, yes you said hurtful words but a wife that cannot discern the difference between anger and hate deserves to be single. Give her what she wants, time at her father's house but make sure you fight for your son, nothing more, nothing less.....RUBBISH!
Bros see for this life everything no be gra gra. Doing all that might lead to regret later, I will advice he frees her for now. He should take care of his son. The guy sef get anger issues bros. Just because you are broke you start nagging, the thing is irritating bro, very irritating. The best is to control your emotions and put it in check. If after a while she doesn't accept coming back then it's up to him to move on or divorce her.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Lucrativress(f): 9:40pm On Jan 13, 2023
Her text said a lot, seems he blames her for his misfortunes, like she holds his destiny.

Your tears have not started, emptiness is coming, go ahead and marry someone who won't see beyond the money you have, your old age will be hollow, you will fear death than hell Fire.

Better flow with peace and familiarity, you're familiar with her, I hope you look after your child also or you probably left only her to put him to bed daily.

If you don't want to cry, go and beg her and fix your marriage.
Respect her

12 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by nkemdi89(f): 9:40pm On Jan 13, 2023
Broke men knows how to hurt their partners with words, even when their partner stay put to all the emotional , physical and financial torture, ego won't make them to appreciate it. Better go and beg her.

14 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by riverbird: 9:41pm On Jan 13, 2023
Jashub:
Okay na...nice one. But hope say you dey chop ? No let that stupid thing call depression enter you and kill your motivation

Op don't play with this particular advice....
And I only wanted to read posts at the beginning but I felt the need to say something, you said you called her from 2pm down to 8pm and all through the phone rang but she did not pick the calls and when she later did all she told you was that there's no light (that woman was lying), and never apologized, see ehn...since she was the one who packed her own kaya and left don't ever make the mistake of begging her to come back to your house, and don't ever send a dime either as upkeep.....when she feels the heat her brain will reset back th factory default.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Prettychild(f): 9:41pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



Tell me what you would have done if this happened to u .

I just want to learn from you .The fact that my wife is not someone who like saying sorry .

See ehn, ordinary SORRY would have saved all these dramas .She didn't accept she was wrong
What’s she apologizing for? You always use words to hurt her? Do you know how painful that is? Sir please work on your temperament, no one wants to stay with a nagging spouse biko.

4 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Meandmycrew(f): 9:41pm On Jan 13, 2023
Re: I Am Depressed by Eromzi(m): 9:41pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



So your wife is not supposed to say sorry if u called her for 6 hours without picking her calls?

And your wife changes your name from SWEETHEART to your son NAME on her contact that particular hours u are calling her ?

Do you mean I don't deserve explanation for all these ?
Op it's clear from the chat you pushed your wife to the wall. there is no justification for some things you say in anger,

what is the meaning of you are the biggest mistake I ever made
you are the reason my business is not going well

your wife action is as a result of bottled up pain you have passed her through, and you are saying by January ending if she does not come you will not take her back, you are not serious bro....you never repent.
when you make people feel worthless they react to situations in various , TRUST ME THIS IS THE CHEAPEST OF IT YOU GOT thank God she did not commit suicide and kill your son too. you need give her time to heal and prove to her that you will love her and respect her. I am not also justifying her action. but you be man no mean say you go take mouth reduce your wife to crayfish

just my two cent

10 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Anakazo22: 9:41pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


I didn't chase her away ,She did herself .If she doesn't come back,I will move on .I will always be there to help financially
Your ego will kill you there, what do you mean that you didn't chase her or did I read something different. You use your anger to chase her away because I believe this is her first time of moving out of your house... even if you don't send her a dime her family will cater for her till she stands on her feet...who knows she might see some other man who will be ready to foot her bills. You better humble yourself and go and apologize to her period and stop forming strong man

10 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by IamMobisola(f): 9:42pm On Jan 13, 2023
I hope women have learnt to be financially independent of their husbands so they won’t be listening to threats like “pack your things and go back to your father’s house” like the national anthem, something like “because of you things have gone bad for me” Or things like “You are the worst mistake of my life”
Very toxic human being and even has the audacity to come and post such online.
Mumu

17 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by AMI3(m): 9:42pm On Jan 13, 2023
Op, u Fu"k up bro.

It is like u are too arrogant.

U can not control your emotion when u are angry u will talk too much.

This is a woman u have spend so many years with.

Did u pay for her bride price?

She has endure with u when the going was tough yet u never value her.
As the say goes u never what u have until u lost it

8 Likes

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