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I Am Depressed - Family (4) - Nairaland

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I Am Depressed Due To Excess Billing From Home / I Am Depressed About My Marriage. / Am Depressed And Keep Thinking About Dieing (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Depressed by ZooOga: 9:42pm On Jan 13, 2023
Mumu doesn't know the difference between his and her. I tire of many of these NL illiterates sha. undecided
Re: I Am Depressed by albanikeh001: 9:42pm On Jan 13, 2023
Oh chimo! Marriage wahala everywhere. God abeg o. I am not asking for much. Just a homely woman that will be a wife, friend and supporter. That's all I am asking for. Dear God, take away from me all these woke, highlife feminists girls with touch of ashawo vibez. undecided

4 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Elizmife: 9:43pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


So if there was power outage as u claimed, how come the phone rang?

What if the phone was at the last battery and it rang and went off before she could pick.
See with her message to you of how she has being enduring, you have anger issue and seems you do disrespect your wife, there are way you talk to people or ask questions which will trigger, have you being ask her questions with respect? Or in love? And she still does that.. you have actually said your wife is good. You are saying if she stays till Feb you won't accept her back, haven't you heard of couples you separated for year(s) and when they were able to resolve they came back?
See when you are thinking of maybe she. Can't cope without you cos of the economy forget it, with what I read your wife is not lazy she will survive. And try to work on yourself and try to see if you guys can settle and you work on yourself, if you are thinking of you will see another girl to marry, hummmmmm I pray you don't meet the one that will make you regret life. Advices you are seeing here, you need to think ooo because not everyone will tell you the truth about how it is in their own marriage. When you did not meet her at home and your in laws are not picking why not go to them first before they charge you for what is not. Ireeeeeeeooooo

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Lucrativress(f): 9:43pm On Jan 13, 2023
Iamthoney:
Person wey dey calm and reserve go gently probe him wife how the phone was able to ring when there was power outage and from then gauge her response. Op just run conclude by himself cos that is how he’s being treating his wife. Baba your Bleep up pass your wife own
As in ehn ..

Countless reasons why she couldn't pick
If she was charging, she sure won't guard her phone like a bodyguard
She'd leave it to charge

She probably was elsewhere when it rang
Things happen, if she has cheated before then yes, I get the scepticism, but if not, op is just an emotional bully.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Dogalmighty17: 9:43pm On Jan 13, 2023
OP. Relax yourself. They always come crawling back. Ignore the initial gra gra she and her family are doing. Bet me, if your wife senses that you are planning to move on, she will rush back and get pregnant.
You ma get skushes for head sha. Anyways, just be calm, don't fret. Your wife thinks there's joy in the streets. She go soon know say nothing dey there.
In the meantime, enjoy your new found freedom. F(u)ck plenty plenty. Reward yourself.
Re: I Am Depressed by flexyrule(m): 9:43pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


If she stays too long in her father house,I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them
You sef. E be like say you be assistant Pharaoh.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Nobody: 9:44pm On Jan 13, 2023
Now listen to someone who has gone through the same ordeal!

I got home few weeks to Christmas and met the house empty, she ran away with my son who was just a year and 5 months old to her family house, after she attempted to stab me because I was broke unknowing to her I had my phone video recorder on, I ran out and reported to the police who came back with me after seeing the video and asked her to follow them to the station with the knife.

I wept bitterly at the station because my son never knew he was at the station, but my joy was that the knife was collected from her, and she was made to write an undertaking that she will not slaughter me when I sleep at night. This was how I technically defeated her, she knew this and ran away with my son.

I first went to the police station to report that my son was missing then I went to a den of carpenters that someone needed his roof changed at once, so I arrived at their house with about 15 carpenters and 5 ladders without giving a Bleep that I would die.

To cut the long story short, I got my son back that day. So go and get your son back and stop this fucking love script, if you love your son, get him back! She is fucking another man already! That is the trend now once you go broke my brother.

Bleep the law of custody bullshit! If you want your son by your side, get him back, even if you have to become a Spartan! Be a Spartan for your son! Let him see that you did everything to have him back!.

Attached herewith is my son, I backed him and changed his pampers from 1 year 6 months till he was 2 years 6 months... I once fainted backing him because the stress was unbearable for me, but I was determined not to give up!

Bleep those bitches claiming to be in love to escape their poverty stricken life!

2 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by buzorcharles(m): 9:44pm On Jan 13, 2023
Oga depression go and learn good manners and approach. Why come here crying when u were insulting and demoralising her. Gettat

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Re: I Am Depressed by fykes(m): 9:44pm On Jan 13, 2023
Bia all this married babies sef..."I love my wife" yhen yehn yehn...

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Re: I Am Depressed by JOYIS190(f): 9:44pm On Jan 13, 2023
TheGoodAmerican:
You told her you don't want to see her anymore simply because she couldn't pick up the phone the first few times you called her. This is a woman you're married to and the mother of your child, and you're talking to her anyhow. From your post, this was probably not the first time you're telling her such words. You also mention nagging. You cannot be verbally abusive towards your wife repeatedly and be difficult to live with and expect her to not get fed up one day.
You just said it all.

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Re: I Am Depressed by Mrkindness: 9:45pm On Jan 13, 2023
WhoDeyHause:
Just forget about her. She has found someone new.
take your time and read the lady's message to him. The guy is a bully he has pushed the good girl God give am back to her greatest fear. Nagging, badmouthing her, telling her she is his biggest mistake in life, telling her he has never achieved anything. Good since he married her. Haba she is a human too.

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Re: I Am Depressed by dontrulee: 9:45pm On Jan 13, 2023
You dey do your wife's role.
You dey shout and nag. grin grin

You no be man, you be woman.

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Re: I Am Depressed by flokii: 9:45pm On Jan 13, 2023
@OP Why were you insulting and saying hurtful things at your wife if truly you love her?. The biggest fear most people have now is not the institution called MARRIAGE but fear of entering marriage with a wrong and immature person.

Judging from the msgs she sent, you didn't allow her work and have a sense of purpose, you just wanted her to be under you. Look around you my friend, times have changed.

It's because of terrible behaviors as this one that is making the number of single mothers /fathers and divorce cases to be on the increase. Just sad.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by kelvinovie25(m): 9:45pm On Jan 13, 2023
I understand your pain, the fact that you are angry she didn't come back home without explanation doesn't make you wrong, but for her to come and pack her stuff from your home, except you didn't marry her, cus it's her being stupid, honestly if my wife pack out from my home herself no matter the love I won't let her back, the parents should take care of her.
Re: I Am Depressed by grandstar(m): 9:45pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


If she stays too long in her father house, I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them

You drove her away and you have no regrets about your actions (Read Proverbs 28:13). You need to change. The fault is entirely yours. Start working on yourself.

When you remarry, the same problem will crop up again and again. The broom that chased the first wife away will still chase the new one away too. (Read Proverbs 21:9). Do something about your leaking roof. Stop feeling entitled to have your cake and eat it too. The woman wants her peace of mind before she runs mad.

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Re: I Am Depressed by abbey621(m): 9:46pm On Jan 13, 2023
angelboy01:
Bros see for this life everything no be gra gra. Doing all that might lead to regret later, I will advice he frees her for now. He should take care of his son. The guy sef get anger issues bros. Just because you are broke you start nagging, the thing is irritating bro, very irritating. The best is to control your emotions and put it in check. If after a while she doesn't accept coming back then it's up to him to move on or divorce her.

I have no issue with the wife, it is the in-laws that get problem. Man can get angry but as long as he is not physically abusive, the situation can still be resolved. Responsible in-laws find a way to resolve things not make it harder. The man has a right to fight for his son, it would be irresponsible for him to not do so.

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Re: I Am Depressed by reddingtonblack: 9:47pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



So your wife is not supposed to say sorry if u called her for 6 hours without picking her calls?

And your wife changes your name from SWEETHEART to your son NAME on her contact that particular hours u are calling her ?

Do you mean I don't deserve explanation for all these ?



In as much as you deserve an Explanation you shouldnt have nagged her out, making her feel she brought ill luck into your life, bro you went too far.
Remember is not as if you caught her red handed cheating, naa suspicion you just get nd all you need do is guilt trip her, by simply raising that observation then just move with a silent treatment, that beg you dey find she for endup begging you.
I keep telling men there are mature ways of punishing a woman, without violence or insults.

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Re: I Am Depressed by TheZeezle(m): 9:47pm On Jan 13, 2023
Freedom is yours bro. Enjoy and take care of your son. Lobatan!

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by andyblinks05: 9:47pm On Jan 13, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Is the phone meant to be some sort of leash on her? Phone etiquette is that if you try to reach someone and the person is unavailable, you allow the person to call you back when the person is able to. According to your story, she explained that there was a power outage, and she couldn't charge the phone. So what exactly what she supposed to apologize to you for? undecided

2. Is the name she saves your number on her phone part of your marriage agreement or something? Why does it matter if she saves your number under "Douchbag"? undecided

3. You need to get yourself to a professional anger management class first. This new year, please endeavor to get a book on logical/critical reasoning/thinking so you can grow your mind and as such become able to logically analyze your decisions, and the world around you, including your relationships for yourself. I recommend the book Being Logical. However, any other text that sufficiently teaches you how to critically reason day-to-day issues out will work too. the key is to put into regular(continuous) practice what you learn so you become a more logical being than you are today. undecided
I've read all your replies to him and I was impressed on how logical you were. People make action and can't accept the outcome whereas each action comes from our thought process. To make it worst the let thier minds to decive them by making them the victim. All can be reduced with the help of more knowledge that's why I liked it when you suggest a book for him.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Greatechng(m): 9:48pm On Jan 13, 2023
WhoDeyHause:
Just forget about her. She has found someone new.

Clear road, chief adviser
Re: I Am Depressed by Dogalmighty17: 9:48pm On Jan 13, 2023
Lucrativress:


I don't blame you OP
If she had resources of her own from time, you'll respect her and not scare her with those "pack out of my out rants"

Her messages sounds like that of a woman who has bottled up hurts for years, the tone of her text seems like that of a woman you've made to cry.

Don't you trust your wife?
Don't you know if she is capable of cheating on you or not?
Have you ever caught her cheating?

Do you know the meaning of benefits of doubts at all?
When she explained why she didn't pick your calls, why not give her the benefit of doubt?

You are now seeing money, next thing is shouting at flimsy stuffs for her to leave your House

I pity you
You don't like peace of mind, a woman that stayed since 2013, built up and persevered with you, I'm sure there were other men asking her out as at then but she decided to stick with you.

If you follow those saying dump her and stuffs, truth is, you'll never come across someone who loves you internally on a crude emotional level.

That her texts shows you've hurt her, better cry and kneel and beg her to come back, win her back and work on your silly trust issues.

Stop taking out your financial anger on her, learn to be a gentleman..

I think you need to apply for thunder to fire you.
Re: I Am Depressed by abbey621(m): 9:48pm On Jan 13, 2023
IamMobisola:


Lie of the century. Na him born the child with his womb? Lol. Except there’s a case sickness or mental disorder with the mother or if the mother poses a danger to the child(ren). The mother always gets custody of the child(ren), even here in Nigeria except of course the father is wealthy and dirty person who would rather bribe a judge to get custody.

I'm not here for the sentiments, go pull the data and check for yourself, grandfather was a judge and I also have two family members that are lawyers, please don't argue without doing adequate research!

1 Like

Re: I Am Depressed by Elizmife: 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



So your wife is not supposed to say sorry if u called her for 6 hours without picking her calls?

And your wife changes your name from SWEETHEART to your son NAME on her contact that particular hours u are calling her ?

Do you mean I don't deserve explanation for all these ?


Why are you even asking for our opinion on this when it is shown in your reply to comments of who you are truly and what your wife has been facing, and if if I may ask in which constitution is it or religion book of why daughters should not visit their family members and spend weeks after marriage. I want to know please.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Burgerlomo: 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
Another SIMPle dude spotted

Re: I Am Depressed by Kingsean(m): 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.



look bro you have anger issues. just accept the fact. work on yourself. it's not too late. whenever you are angry, don't utter any word. this is the same thing that happened to my boss at work. he has anger issues and utters damaging words at that moment. he told his wife to move out cos of a little issue and now he misses her so much. it's 2yrs now since she left. drop your pride and work on yourself for the sake of your son

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by Vulcan24(m): 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
Hey, people say all sorts of things when it's going tough for them, I can't judge you base on your testimonies here cos so many things happen btw couples that is best understood by theirselves.

Trust me, don't let anyone judge you, the first person to walk away from marriage is not always the right person. It dosent make you less guilty too.
First it's your marriage you want to save, do what is necessary to save your marriage.
I see threats of loosing your son in her text, it's dosent work that way. Probably both of you have been engaging in fight before now.
Nonetheless your wife action is calculated to hurt you and it's a revenge for your actions.

It's a dicey situation but you can still save it if you humble yourself because you will be ridiculed severely in the process of begging her.
Be a man and talk nicely to her first and not to her family.

If she refuse ...... Let go.

You are a man, nobody's perfect

5 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Kobojunkie: 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
sorextee:
■Nice one. I like this your response. This is why if I call you twice and you didn't pick up, if it's an important call, I will send an SMS to let you know why I was calling. If it's not an important call, I will let u be till u call back.
■That man has serious anger issues. He needs to work on himself first. Just as you said earlier too, seems it ain't the first time he's doing such to his wife.
1. I hate having to deal with people like OP who assume their short fuse my obligation. Na that kain person I do dey think twice to discard as friend at all. undecided

2. I hate drama and I hate dealing with individuals who, rather than deal with their personal stress, look to offload it on others just for the sake of it. Why go out of your way for make others miserable because you have a problem that you refuse to deal with. undecided

9 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by Mrkindness: 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
Baddosqqi:
Now listen to someone who has gone through the same ordeal!

I got home few weeks to Christmas and met the house empty, she ran away with my son who was just a year and 5 months old to her family house, after she attempted to stab me because I was broke unknowing to her I had my phone video recorder on, I ran out and reported to the police who came back with me after seeing the video and asked her to follow them to the station with the knife.

I wept bitterly at the station because my son never knew he was at the station, but my joy was that the knife was collected from her, and she was made to write an undertaking that she will not slaughter me when I sleep at night. This was how I technically defeated her, she knew this and ran away with my son.

I first went to the police station to report that my son was missing then I went to a den of carpenters that someone needed his roof changed at once, so I arrived at their house with about 15 carpenters and 5 ladders without giving a Bleep that I would die.

To cut the long story short, I got my son back that day. So go and get your son back and stop this fucking love script, if you love your son, get him back! She is fucking another man already! That is the trend now once you go broke my brother.

Bleep the law of custody bullshit! If you want your son by your side, get him back, even if you have to become a Spartan! Be a Spartan for your son! Let him see that you did everything to have him back!.

Attached herewith is my son, I backed him and changed his pampers from 1 year 6 months till he was 2 years 6 months... I once fainted backing him because the stress was unbearable for me, but I was determined not to give up!

Bleep those bitches claiming to be in love to escape their poverty stricken life!
your own is a different case brother, this very guy was abusive to his wife.

7 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by loliapoopy2013(f): 9:49pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


Oh u didn't follow and u started judging abi

Wahala dey your body. No wonder she left and you still have not learned. Don't come here shouting love when you are not yet mature for it. Thank God she has men in her family who are by her side.

4 Likes

Re: I Am Depressed by captainjoh(m): 9:50pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:


If she stays too long in her father house,I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them


You still dey make mouth, don't go and repent and turn a new leaf. You will end up single and alone for the rest of your life. With the chat up there you have been the problem of the house and you're here still been prideful. Men need to learn how to take responsibility of their homes and leave social media opinions alone.

My advice for you, don't force her to come back but let her know you're still expecting her back and the door is always open if she wants to return back. Try dey pray for God wisdom too

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Depressed by grandstar(m): 9:50pm On Jan 13, 2023
breakthrough22:



Tell me what you would have done if this happened to u .

I just want to learn from you .The fact that my wife is not someone who like saying sorry .

See ehn, ordinary SORRY would have saved all these dramas .She didn't accept she was wrong

You should simply have welcomed her back and forgot the matter. When coming in the evening from work or business, buy her and your son some fast food. Call her parents and thank them for taking good care of your wife. And don't bring the matter up. Once she's back from her travel, the problem died that very second.

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Re: I Am Depressed by Belleful: 9:51pm On Jan 13, 2023
Have you legally married her? Because I don't think her family will just support her to leave over one trivial issue. I don't think the problems you two is having started with this issue. There is more to it. For her to make up her mind and pack out of ur house, and her family is in support show's how far she has been bearing. She accused you of blaming her of ur misfortunes. But you didn't address that. Now I will advise you learn to control your anger and mouth. Watch what you say to use woman. Words hurt some women than being beaten. Try and work on yourself. Your love is wicked to her. Go and apologize and show her real love. U can't be missing her and at the same time giving her condition, that if she doesn't come back before Jan ending, you are done. Were is the love?
And don't listen to those unmarried kids advising you to move on, that she can't survive as a single mom. That no man will marry her and take care of her and the kid.
She already told you she is going to look for a job. God can bless her with a good job. There are many single moms doing well for themselves out there.
There are many men out there that will gladly take her in.
As you think of the negative, you also think of the positive for her. It's 50-50. WHO KNOWS TOMORROW?

7 Likes

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