When I'm having strong feelings or being in love with someone and she doesn't feel the same way about me, I ghost her completely, so whatever I feel for her will fade into oblivion eventually. But the case I'm dealing with presently is unique. I'm in love with her but she doesn't feel the same way about me. We once worked together sometime last year which was how I met her. She seems decent and responsible. I love her and want a serious relationship with her but she said she is concentrating on her career and just want us to be friends. I later deleted her number from my phone and decided to ghost her and move on with my life hoping my feelings for her will eventually fade away. But whenever I thought I've forgotten about her, she'll reach out to me - she'll call me on the phone, we'll talk, she'll ask me how I'm doing and that I've forgotten about her and all. She always keep in touch with me from time to time. Personally, I just want to forget about her since she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, but whenever she'd reach out to me, my feelings for her just keeps rushing back. She called on Saturday, she complained I've forgotten her. I told her I've not forgotten her, that I still have her in my thoughts.
So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

Winterhaven:
When I'm having strong feelings or being in love with someone and she doesn't feel the same way about me, I ghost her completely, so whatever I feel for her will fade into oblivion eventually. But the case I'm dealing with presently is unique. I'm in love with her but she doesn't feel the same way about me. We once worked together sometime last year which was how I met her. She seems decent and responsible. I love her and want a serious relationship with her but she said she is concentrating on her career and just want us to be friends. I later deleted her number from my phone and decided to ghost her and move on with my life hoping my feelings for her will eventually fade away. But whenever I thought I've forgotten about her, she'll reach out to me - she'll call me on the phone, we'll talk, she'll ask me how I'm doing and that I've forgotten about her and all. She always keep in touch with me from time to time. Personally, I just want to forget about her since she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, but whenever she'd reach out to me, my feelings for her just keeps rushing back. She called on Saturday, she complained I've forgotten her. I told her I've not forgotten her, that I still have her in my thoughts.
So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

She likes you and want to date you. A girl that doesn't will never call you on phone if you don't have money to spend on her lol even if you're dating her, she will still hardly call you expect to demand things from you.

Just act like you're already dating her in your mind, reconnect the vibes once again, check up on her often... Take her out on dinner more often and find a way to lay her.
The day you sleep with her is the day she will say yes to you.

Some girls like mind games bro and you got one already!!!

Real Men don't keep female friends,you only keep females you working with to make money, if you ain't fucking her, stop talking to her or block her, get yourself a girlfriend your feelings towards her go vanish

She is only trying to keep you plan C, should incase plan A or B fails.

Which one is, she is trying to concentrate on her career.

Bra the shima no value you and deep down, you know say she no send you, why kee ya sef?

tochez24:


She likes you and want to date you. A girl that doesn't will never call you on phone if you don't have money to spend on her lol even if you're dating her, she will still hardly call you expect to demand things from you.

Just act like you're already dating her in your mind, reconnect the vibes once again, check up on her often... Take her out on dinner more often and find a way to lay her.
The day you sleep with her is the day she will say yes to you.

Some girls like mind games bro and you got one already!!!

Ok thanks. I will keep what you've said in mind.

Ikennaford:
Real Men don't keep female friends,you only keep females you working with to make money, if you ain't fucking her, stop talking to her or block her, get yourself a girlfriend your feelings towards her go vanish

It'll be childish for me to block her, me think.

She's playing serious mind game with you. Block her and move on with your life or better still concerntrate on any girl who seem available and likes you

Winterhaven:

So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

You Know What To Do, So Stop Whining Us Joor

Observing...

I once had this kind of experience.
Delete her number (don't block her).
when she calls,pick and talk as before but don't fall into her trap of getting you to apologize for not reaching out to her.
You may talk about what she already knows about you but don't talk about any new thing that is happening in your life .
And realize that there's nothing really special about any human which your hormones have blinded you to.
Eventually she'll start calling less and less untill she finds another guy friend to get her dose of male attention from.
Thanks.

When she's gisting with you, if the gist is going in a romantic direction, call her out. Keep it strictly platonic and cordial. Not intimate. If she wants more than that, she will have to put a ring on it. If you can do this, delete her number without blocking her.

Seun:
When she's gisting with you, if the gist is going in a romantic direction, call her out. Keep it strictly platonic and cordial. Not intimate. If she wants more than that, she will have to put a ring on it. If you can do this, delete her number without blocking her.

Have to share this

Winterhaven:
When I'm having strong feelings or being in love with someone and she doesn't feel the same way about me, I ghost her completely, so whatever I feel for her will fade into oblivion eventually. But the case I'm dealing with presently is unique. I'm in love with her but she doesn't feel the same way about me. We once worked together sometime last year which was how I met her. She seems decent and responsible. I love her and want a serious relationship with her but she said she is concentrating on her career and just want us to be friends. I later deleted her number from my phone and decided to ghost her and move on with my life hoping my feelings for her will eventually fade away. But whenever I thought I've forgotten about her, she'll reach out to me - she'll call me on the phone, we'll talk, she'll ask me how I'm doing and that I've forgotten about her and all. She always keep in touch with me from time to time. Personally, I just want to forget about her since she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, but whenever she'd reach out to me, my feelings for her just keeps rushing back. She called on Saturday, she complained I've forgotten her. I told her I've not forgotten her, that I still have her in my thoughts.
So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

Dont contact her ...when she contacts you reply her casually. Na she go find her way

Not like you're enemies but since she wants to be a friend then she has to endure or leave
Then you can bring in the mind games. Wish her happy birthday, merry Christmas and yunno all those festive seasons na . Just she'll become confused herself


Maybe genuine friendship might come later but you need to kill your feelings first . And dont go back when she says she's ready or you'll be like a toy with no options
( tested and confirmed by me )

Winterhaven:
■I later deleted her number from my phone and decided to ghost her and move on with my life hoping my feelings for her will eventually fade away. But whenever I thought I've forgotten about her, she'll reach out to me - she'll call me on the phone, we'll talk, she'll ask me how I'm doing and that I've forgotten about her and all. She always keep in touch with me from time to time. Personally, I just want to forget about her since she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, but whenever she'd reach out to me, my feelings for her just keeps rushing back. She called on Saturday, she complained I've forgotten her. I told her I've not forgotten her, that I still have her in my thoughts.
■So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

1. What most people consider love is really obsession which is fueled by brain chemicals confusing their logical centers. See Are you in love or just high on chemicals in your brain? Answer: Yes. Since the lady in question has told you that she is instead interested in her career, the foolish thing to do is to decide to ghost her as that is immature behavior in itself. Rather, consider that she may turn out a valuable accept in your future somewhere and a possible networking connection that may prove of value to you.

2. Once you have decided on whether she may be valuable to you, what you need to do is deal with your brain's obsession with her. The way to do that is to switch from considering your relationship with her in an illogical manner to a purely logical one. To break from the brain chemicals-driven obsession requires work, the same sort of work you would need to build self-control, etc. See breaking an obsession. Note that if you decide to ghost her, you would need to do the very same work in order to completely forget her anyways, so why not do the work and keep her as a contact and possible network for your future.

Autobot05:


Dont contact her ...when she contacts you reply her casually. Na she go find her way

Not like you're enemies but since she wants to be a friend then she has to endure or leave
Then you can bring in the mind games. Wish her happy birthday, merry Christmas and yunno all those festive seasons na . Just she'll become confused herself


Maybe genuine friendship might come later but you need to kill your feelings first . And dont go back when she says she's ready or you'll be like a toy with no options
( tested and confirmed by me )

Thanks.. your advice is making sense

Seun:
When she's gisting with you, if the gist is going in a romantic direction, call her out. Keep it strictly platonic and cordial. Not intimate. If she wants more than that, she will have to put a ring on it. If you can do this, delete her number without blocking her.

Thanks. I can do this only when I no longer have feelings for her. But for now, it is easier said than done.

Don’t let anyone string you along; cut her off completely.
She’s not oxygen.

Winterhaven:
It'll be childish for me to block her, me think.

Then continue the emotional torture!!! What is the use of banana one can't eat? Some girls are like that, they are time wasting device, are you telling me she doesn't have a guy "vandalising" her on the low? She is not into you, block her and move on, don't waste " hope " on her.

I'm kind of in the same situation right nw.. She's really working me up right nw..

Houseofglam7:
Don’t let anyone string you along; cut her off completely.
She’s not oxygen.

cutting her off is proving tricky for me.

Winterhaven:
When I'm having strong feelings or being in love with someone and she doesn't feel the same way about me, I ghost her completely, so whatever I feel for her will fade into oblivion eventually. But the case I'm dealing with presently is unique. I'm in love with her but she doesn't feel the same way about me. We once worked together sometime last year which was how I met her. She seems decent and responsible. I love her and want a serious relationship with her but she said she is concentrating on her career and just want us to be friends. I later deleted her number from my phone and decided to ghost her and move on with my life hoping my feelings for her will eventually fade away. But whenever I thought I've forgotten about her, she'll reach out to me - she'll call me on the phone, we'll talk, she'll ask me how I'm doing and that I've forgotten about her and all. She always keep in touch with me from time to time. Personally, I just want to forget about her since she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, but whenever she'd reach out to me, my feelings for her just keeps rushing back. She called on Saturday, she complained I've forgotten her. I told her I've not forgotten her, that I still have her in my thoughts.
So I want to ask, is it advisable for me to keep in touch with her despite the fact that my love for her is unrequited?

Suck in your feelings and move on. She likes you as a friend not as someone she can date. Redirect those energy to people that love you. 5yrs from day, u will look back and regret on the time,energy and resource you spent chasing the wrong people.

Winterhaven:
It'll be childish for me to block her, me think.

You are very very correct about that.

Bro


You are new in this dating game


You supposed to dey chop her steadily


Na she go ask her if you are dating .



Up ur game man

Winterhaven:
cutting her off is proving tricky for me.

Look, whether you cut her off or not, the fact is you will need to deal with the emotions you still harbor for her. If you want to keep her as a connection but are having a hard time dealing, let her know this so she can give you space. Once you are sure you are over her, you can call her back up and resume as friends from there.

.

IamtheTruth1:
■Suck in your feelings and move on. She likes you as a friend not as someone she can date. Redirect those energy to people that love you. 5yrs from day, u will look back and regret on the time,energy and resource you spent chasing the wrong people.

Do you only relate in life with people who love you?

Had a similar experience sometime ago....She even swore never to take our friendship for granted.....But guess what,I deleted her number but didn't block her..... About a month ago,she boarded my keke as a passenger and she started complaining About why she hasn't been seeing my statuses on whatsapp of late,I just lied to her that I have been busy of late and hasn't been uploading any status.....

Life too sweet abeg .

Seun:
When she's gisting with you, if the gist is going in a romantic direction, call her out. Keep it strictly platonic and cordial. Not intimate. If she wants more than that, she will have to put a ring on it. If you can do this, delete her number without blocking her.

OP,

You don hear? The Elon Musk of Nairaland has spoken abi written.

Seun:
When she's gisting with you, if the gist is going in a romantic direction, call her out. Keep it strictly platonic and cordial. Not intimate. If she wants more than that, she will have to put a ring on it. If you can do this, delete her number without blocking her.

Let me just quote Seun for the first time in the history of nairaland. I can't believe I will find him here. Always thought he's somebody that doesn't even enter nairaland again, just somewhere outside the country enjoying his money.

tochez24:


She likes you and want to date you. A girl that doesn't will never call you on phone if you don't have money to spend on her lol even if you're dating her, she will still hardly call you expect to demand things from you.

Just act like you're already dating her in your mind, reconnect the vibes once again, check up on her often... Take her out on dinner more often and find a way to lay her.
The day you sleep with her is the day she will say yes to you.

Some girls like mind games bro and you got one already!!!

Very big lie, she may keep him for what she gain from him

Winterhaven:
cutting her off is proving tricky for me.

It's you who is finding it tricky. You don't want to offend her. You don't want to be just her friend but still want to be her friend. You see how confused it sounds? That's how confused you are. I'm also in a situation like that. This one doesn't even call she just send good morning on WhatsApp, fine and you kind of message, that's all but will always do that especially when it's already looking like I've moved past her. Just sit her down and talk with her like i want to do. Tell her no problems being her friend and you wouldn't look at her sexually again(don't say romantically, sexually will drive home your point more and pain her, trust me girls love to be perceived sexually) ever again. Then tell her she should only call when she needs or give important information not checking up and those useless chitchat. That you guys are just friends do you don't owe her attentions or commitment. This just an advise sha, you may or may not use it.

Qatar2022:

Very big lie, she may keep him for what she gain from him

Exactly, all the girls have dated, either they guided me to that part or told me yes immediately. No playing mind games.