Evolutionlove:


This Is very Insightful. Thanks.

I think I need to learn some things from you. Thanks once again and stay blessed.

Welcome aboard my train. Believe me you will learn A LOT.

cooooooks:
All good points.

Men, do not lead with money for the woman you want to marry, unless you're ready for that your entire life.

Men, do not cheat (wily-nily). Only exception is if your wife has children and is able but totally unwilling to be intimate. I highly suggest you divorce or be open with her about it before seeking outside.

Believe in love but shine your eye.

Men, marry a woman who is working or can work. A woman who can carry the family along IF you died unexpectedly. Please.

Great points.
I'd say to men to have a FIRM plan from day one. Never dabble into marriage.
Decide the type of marriage you want, and then seek out the type of woman that fits into that.
If you find a woman that fits into your plan, marry her. Else, don't marry.
Most of the problems in marriage can be foreseen, and even when unforeseen can be handled if you have the right spouse.
Assuming, for example, that you want to "travel across the desert" (and this is your marriage goal), why choose a horse because of its majestic looks and beauty, when a camel is more capable, though it is not as good looking?
Food for thoughts.
Unless you are a king and never plan to travel across the desert, then get a horse!
Most of us are not kings, and camels fit our needs more!

Believe in love but shine your eye.

Like one famous American president said, "Trust, but verify!".

Enuff said.

I agree with one modification:
Be ready to modify your plan slightly for the right person.

Do not change plan o, modify.

In your plan, have very very few absolute non-negotiables, a few negotiable, and that's it.

Life throws curve balls all the time. Be ready to adapt within reason. t

onumadu:


Great points.
I'd say to men to have a FIRM plan from day one. Never dabble into marriage.
Decide the type of marriage you want, and then seek out the type of woman that fits into that.
If you find a woman that fits into your plan, marry her. Else, don't marry.
Most of the problems in marriage can be foreseen, and even when unforeseen can be handled if you have the right spouse.
Assuming, for example, that you want to "travel across the desert" (and this is your marriage goal), why choose a horse because of its majestic looks and beauty, when a camel is more capable, though it is not as good looking?
Food for thoughts.
Unless you are a king and never plan to travel across the desert, then get a horse!
Most of us are not kings, and camels fit our needs more!

cooooooks:
I agree with one modification:
Be ready to modify your plan slightly for the right person.

Do not change plan o, modify.

In your plan, have very very few absolute non-negotiables, a few negotiable, and that's it.

Life throws curve balls all the time. Be ready to adapt within reason. t

Hmm.. Oga you be genius o.

The greatest secret to marriage is FLEXIBILITY with the RIGHT person.

It breaks down like this: Once you married the right kind of spouse, Be ready to NEGOTIATE any situation with your spouse. ANY SITUATION.
The only problem with this ideology is that the couple must be intelligent and mature enough.

A lot of "grown up" married people you see today are actually "grow up little boys and little girls".
Hence, at the hint of even the most pedestrian of problems, everything falls apart!
Some of such people even have advanced university degrees, and yet are seriously immature (I know one Professor like that).
I can write a book on this issue.

But I still maintain that choosing the right spouse ab initio is KEY.
People are unique and different. You just need to get the right person, and then go from there.
With the right person, flexibility is a no-brainer. With the wrong person, flexibility can lead to fatal consequences.