Akorkor:
Ignore them. Do not let anyone force you into getting married. Being married is not a success.
Most important thing in life is for you to be happy. When you are ready, do your thing. Do not let them push you into making a grave mistake.

Hypocrisy

neztar:
can you stay with one woman?

I have been married to one woman for over 20 yrs now?

So what is the question about staying with one woman?

Tribalism123:
Nne, Let me be frank.
I was introduced to a girl this December because I intend marrying this year. She will be 26 on her birthday this year. I realized she opened her nose, double ear and has a waist bead. I told her that those things off men. She starts conversation with argument of you have not called me. I kept mute for a while and keep swallowing the pill so that I can see if I can correct some of her path before saying goodbye at least to prepare her for marriage. The day I traveled she called me that I should send her some data and I am on transit. She didn't call all through my long journey. I kept quiet. She called two days later. I sounding polite and told her I will call her at night. The night was yesterday. So when I called she rushed me the way she will always do. I listened to all her rubbish. Then I took my time to talk to her and whenever she wants to interfere the my talk I WILL SHOUT ON HER HEAD "keep quiet and listen!". I did this until I spent 15 good minutes on her head. She was so sober. She told me good night in soberness. This morning her call woke me up to ask me her will my day be and wish me good luck for the day. All her sense of entitlement diminished immediately.

So I will ask, have u checked your path?
Are u looking for already made guy or someone you can assist with advise to make it.
There are some guys that need only a lady who can look into what they are doing wrong and encourage them to do it right. Some guys are suffering but at the edge of making it. Ladies throw away these guys because they don't see what the future holds for such guys.

If it is standard, work on it. Men have standards but when it comes to marriage, their standards is aligned to character first before beauty.

Take it slow, u will get it right soon and get the cool guy for u.


And as for your people, look for something that annoys them and ask them anytime they bring forth the topic. Don't complain. There must be there weak point. Let them see it as insult. But u will have ur peace henceforth.

So, what is your resolution? Are you diving in with your eyes wide open?

Wiliyanahalowin:
You see, the prevalent challenges in most African society/home is trying to force a young lady into marriage. And when you do because of pressure and ended up with a wrong man they will start admonishing that God hate divorce! My candid advice to you is, if you are a Christain please seek the Will of the Almighty. It is not everyone that must marry biko. And if you have been having sexual intercourse in your previous relationships please avoid it. Better late, than now or crash in the future! Do have a blessed weekend.

when are you getting married?

Akin1212:

You cannot help but prove further that you are just a child, a mannerless one at that. Obviously, no content, so you have to reference my parents. What does that have to do with this?

Normally, it's a lack of depth that causes things like this and no surprises there, you don't have anything to say or a solid philosophy to back up your thought process. I honestly find it hard to fault you, child.

Now, because my parents did what they did, does not stipulate that anyone must do what they did, I am not really surprised you do not realize that, you may not even after reading this. Because the lady in question has parents who got married, does not mean she must follow in their footsteps. We are all individuals first, we have different desires and values, and virtues. And every individual should be allowed to live how they want without pressure. She is 31 years and is able to make her own decisions, by herself!

Now, if you do things because your parents did them, more grease. But not everyone will be docile like you are. Everyone is different, if you got married because your parents did, it goes to show how weak a person you are. Many people will get married on their own terms and time, whether their parents did this does not direct what they will or should do.

So, all those weak, kindergarten philosophies should only live in your head. You should not be posting stuff like this online, for real.

You are here talking about experience and determining age limitations on women, in 2023? Have some shame. There is nothing like a biological clock. A family should not be in the business of their relatives on how they want to live. Obviously, it has skipped you that pressuring people to do what you want against what they actually want can also cascade into a psychological mess. Let people live their lives and deal with the consequences, focus on your own life! Her family should focus on their problems, they can only discuss what she wants with her and not pressure her, it is her life. Learn from this, and stop singing about the experience you don't have.

from my revelation, I can see a product of single(mother) parenting.

Your parent(s) obviously didn't show you enough love as a kid.

We are not mates!

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

You really deserve better my dear. Just don't have it on your mind to weigh you down. They are your family, so you can't avoid them forever. Just pray that God will bless you with the type of husband that you need. Whatever they say, will not kill you only if you attach much to it.

Just cheer up, don't get fed up easily haba!

Earthstorms:


I have been married to one woman for over 20 yrs now?

So what is the question about staying with one woman?

how do you do it? For us that are used to frolicking with multiple women

How old are you?

.

tiswell:
from my revelation, I can see a product of single(mother) parenting.

Your parent(s) obviously didn't show you enough love as a kid.

We are not mates!

You have seen many things that do not exist, it only proves that you are blind.

We are definitely not mates, at least in the department of thinking, you are way below. All you do is project your whims, caprices, and conjectures on strangers online. It must really hurt to be you.

If your parents had shown love to you when you were a kid, you would know very well that human beings are supposed to be given the freedom to live their lives on their own terms and not pressured to live the way others want. I am guessing you are one of those kids your parents hit every time you express your desires, hence you grew up with that attitude that everyone must do this or that, instead of doing what they want in line with their desires.

You will be fine, or not, it may be too late, I only pity you.

lereinter:

Be deceiving yourself

go and research. You are a buffoon.

neztar:
how do you do it? For us that are used to frolicking with multiple women

It is simple, do unto others what you want others to do to you.

You need to realize that sex is sex, so why get it from several women when you can get it from your wife.

To me, successful marriage is about mutual respect and people being responsible. It starts with selecting the best partner that you can find and both of you agreeing to try your best to make the marriage work.

ukaface:
do I need to be married before being responsible

you are a two face mofo. You are advising sb but you dont want to get married. I pity people taking advice from you

tiswell:
So after the peak years,what next?


sense is really far from you!

go and read. you reek of abject ignorance. Spits and smh

Nowadays to see a guy that's serious for marriage is also difficult, na pipe and swipe with baby mamas mentality full outside. God will help we the single ladies .

neztar:
you are a two face mofo. You are advising sb but you dont want to get married. I pity people taking advice from you

Na you be the real mofo
Who be this one?
Did you read what I wrote? I Dey tell person that no matter what she should find happiness this one Dey here Dey blab rubbish.
Abi foolishness be your attribute?

No be you get thread, but na you Dey scatter thread are you this stupid? Don’t you know when to stop?

No carry your rubbishness come my side o, onye ezi

Earthstorms:


It is simple, do unto others what you want others to do to you.

You need to realize that sex is sex, so why get it from several women when you can get it from your wife.

To me, successful marriage is about mutual respect and people being responsible. It starts with selecting the best partner that you can find and both of you agreeing to try your best to make the marriage work.

what about see finish?

neztar:
you, when are you getting married and be responsible?

For you to even think you are worth me telling when I will be getting married is laughable.
People just get unnecessary confidence

neztar:
what about see finish?

You want to prevent "see finish" with your wife?

You can not avoid it, with time your wife will know almost everything about you. She will go through your stuff when you are at work.

Like I said both of you should agree to make the marriage work and both of you should agree to separate if it is not working. Ensure your wife is empowered enough to take care of herself in case of divorce.

ukaface:

For you to even think you are worth me telling when I will be getting married is laughable.
People just get unnecessary confidence

you are a woman for godsake and your place is in the kitchen. My mind is telling me you are into hookup

NutFunny:
Are you a Guy, Girl.. L,G,B,T or Q?

So we know the particular prayer point you need

You no well!!....lmao!!!

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

How old are you?.

JASONjnr:

Tell me the difference?

No one's gonna tell you.
You're gonna tell yourself by yourself.
After then, come here.
Okay?

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

yousef go marry because I know no watin you want make we tell u here. If ur parents are pressurising u, it because they know u are long over due for marriage.
The present life expectant of a Nigerian man right now is 65 years if u get to that point u will be living ur life by the day. Telling you this to encourage u to marry on time and give birth ontime sothat u won't die and leave little children without care at the hands of the people in this wicked world. Don't think u have all the time.

enonche85:


You no well!!....lmao!!!

A good bad question right?

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

Just tell them you will cut off from them if they continue to pester you.

They want a good Wedding rather than a good Marriage !

But, you too should up your game.
Dress right
Present a cheerful- happy countenance
Be in the right venue where men of same value go
Be financially independent
Advertise your qualities
Pray and Serve God well

Bluezy13:

Write to the understanding of your audience.

Who told you they didn't understand the msg?

Ideservebetter:
I'm 31

I was looking for this in your write ups but it was not there.
Everything is all about time. I would advise you depend on God on whom to marry, rather than leaning on your own understanding. You only see the outward but God sees the inward. God knows you better than you do. Please tell God to guide you on the choice of partner. Remain bless.

Isabi4lov:
Nowadays to see a guy that's serious for marriage is also difficult, na pipe and swipe with baby mamas mentality full outside. God will help we the single ladies .

are you celibating?

Ideservebetter:
I understand that most parents want the best for their children but at the same time, they should understand certain things that are beyond one's control.

My parents, relatives even family friends won't stop troubling me about marriage. I can't have healthy conversations with my people without them bringing up the marriage topic and worse off in a controversial manner. They always accuse me of being too selective and other talks like that, making me feel awful.

I desire to get married someday even though I don't see it as a "do or die" thing. I've been in relationships that didn't work out and I'm being blamed for it or asked why I didn't just manage. My God!

I've been thinking of how to get away from all these talk, maybe leaving home or changing my line. I really don't know what to do.
I'm someone people know as happy and bubbly outside but when I'm with my people, it's the complete opposite, minimal joy because they won't stop stressing me. For now, I've stopped attending family events since they'll be gathered there and I don't want anyone messing with my mental health.

I'm fed up, I need advice from matured minds please.

Madam, first of all, how old are you?

As an adult three things I have learnt to do are.

1. Never ask someone when or why they are not married

2. Don't body shame anyone

3. Never talk down on any tribe publicly (though I do this in private)

Those are private issues never to ask anyone except they bring up the issue.

Back to the topic.

I had same experience but with my pastors in church.

Luckily I am from a family where everyone respects everyone's private life. My mom will never tell you to go and marry and neither will my siblings, they don't meddle in such affair.

I am igbo but no one gives a f*ck if I marry Yoruba or Hausa... They believe you are old and mature enough to make a good decision.

Where issue lied was in my church.

My guys got married and a pastor in church would always call my name that you are next.

Looking at the pple that married sef wasn't encouraging. They are living from hand to mouth.

The thing became too much I had to tell the pastor to stop and warned church members to stop it. They were mounting unnecessary pressure on me which I didn't like.

I am 30 but set 32yrs as the ideal age for me and so far I have been able to meet most targets and on course to settle at the age I set

Hmmmn,Dear Op,just be calm and pray for God guidance to give you your own husband because a lot of ladies are experiencing what you are experiencing now.Yet most people put pressure on the lady to get married by hook or crook which is not advisable.
Just try and mingle with people and also keep your mind open because peoples comment about you might make you get depressed.ire ooo